A/N: Apologies for the wait. I finally managed to get my hands on a PS2 and Dirge of Cerberus this past week and therefore spent my spare time playing that. I enjoyed it, though it had nothing on the original FF7, but that was to be expected, and I sucked up all the info on Vincent like a dry sponge. Not to mention playing the game gave birth to quite a number of new plot bunnies, and fed one bunny that's been gnawing on my left leg for a quite some time now. Anyhoo, here's chapter four for you.
Chapter 4: Popsicles and Tomato Juice
All feeling in her feet had been gone for over ten minutes now. Her hands were shoved deep underneath each armpit in an attempt to keep them warm, and the lower parts of her hair were completely frosted over from her breath.
This. Really. Sucks. Yuffie squinted into the wind, looking for some sign of shelter or rescue, but the wind and snow was so bad she could hardly see a dozen feet.
She'd been wandering around for Leviathan-knows how long now, and though she kept herself moving constantly, the cold was beginning to creep up on her. It wouldn't be long now until she passed out and became a nice frozen popsicle for one of the wolves in the area to gnaw on.
Where's stupid Mr. Holzoff when you need him, she thought bitterly. She stumbled through the snow aimlessly, her thoughts drifting. She wondered what her friend's reactions would be when they finally discovered her frozen half eaten popsicle self out here in the snow.
Cid, she decided, would prod her with one of his silly sticks, and when he was completely sure that she was dead, would whoop and dance, singing some song that was half cuss words and lighting a victory smoke.
Barret would probably just be confused, then yell about how stupid she was for getting into this mess in the first place.
Cloud wouldn't know how to react at all, and would then run to Aerith's church, mope, avoid everyone, until Tifa went and slapped him a couple times, at which point he would revert to normal and sell all her old weapons.
Tifa would be sad, Yuffie thought, but then she'd be too busy smacking Cloud around and getting spooned to dwell on poor old Yuffie.
Reeve would stay at WRO headquarters, and send Cait Sith to her funeral, who would no doubt mourn loudly in some unintelligible Scottish accent.
Nanaki would howl then jabber on about how she had returned to the Planet and some cosmos-y rubbish that would bore everyone within a five mile radius to tears.
And then there was Vincent. Bloody Vincent and his broody sexiness, if it wasn't for him I wouldn't be in this mess. How would he react to my popsically self?
He'd blame himself and shut himself into his coffin for another thirty years or more.
Yuffie stopped walking, frowning. That actually sounded exactly like what Vincent would be wont to do. He'd probably say that he didn't try hard enough to be ugly and unappealing to women and that he must repent. Then he would flair his cloak dramatically and fly into his coffin of emo-sleeping
"Nuh uh," she said aloud, startling herself out of her reverie. She had been standing still for over a minute, and she shivered, teeth chattering, wanting nothing more than to fall over and take a snooze.
She gritted her teeth.
"Nuh uh," she repeated as she took a step forward, fighting to make her legs bend. "I am the Great Ninja Yuffie Kisaragi, Single White Rose of Wutai, and I refuse to die," another step, "'cause Vincent would blame himself and be all stupid and lock himself back into that damn coffin, and he deserves to actually live-" Step. "-and you can't live when all you do is have fugging nightmares all day long about a dead chick frozen in mako crystals and another dead chick - who is infinitely cooler than aforementioned other dead chick – frozen in a glacier."
She watched her feet, glaring at them, as if looking at them hard enough would keep her walking. The wind in her face died down for a moment, and she glanced up.
There was a cave, maybe one hundred metres from her, suddenly visible as the wind stilled for a moment, dropping the veils of snow it had been blowing constantly around her.
She stopped, staring at it in disbelief. Then the wind picked up once more, and it was obscured from her vision.
"...Cave," she mumbled, starting a hobbling run towards it. "Cave, cave, cave cave cave cavecavecavecavecavecavecavecaveOHMYGAWDCAVE!" She began a headlong sprint, running as fast as she could in the deep snow. She looked up, and – there – another glimpse, the dark mouth beckoning her.
"CA – "
Suddenly there was nothing beneath her feet, and she plunged into the freezing lake.
Tifa wandered around the back of the inn, where she found Cloud on his phone, rubbing his forehead in annoyance. He looked up at the sound of her approach.
"I'm on hold with the RAA," he told her in response to her questioning look. "For over half an hour now," he added darkly.
"No gas here then, I take it?"
Cloud shook his head. "It's still pretty rare, in fact I think no one here ever heard of gasoline until I asked about it. They still think people use mako to power everything." He scowled, and held up his phone so Tifa could hear the automated voice of RAA, telling them Your satisfaction is important to us. An RAA representative will be right with you to provide you with the best possible service.
"Twentieth time I've heard that message," Cloud sighed. "You got us rooms already?"
"Well, room, yes," Tifa said, keeping her voice level and neutral. "They only have one room, and one bed, so it looks like we'll be sharing."
Cloud frowned slightly. "You should take the bed, Tifa, I can sleep on the floor or in the batht-"
"No, Cloud. Do you really think I'd make you sleep on the floor so I can have a comfortable bed all to myself?"
"All right, just offering," Cloud held up his free hand in surrender. "I – Hello?" His attention turned to his phone, and he gave Tifa a thumbs-up, signalling that he'd finally gotten through to a live person.
Tifa smiled at him, then wandered away a few steps, looking up at the stars.
"Frelt, that's right...F-R-E-L-T...what do you mean it's not on your map –" Tifa turned back to Cloud, who looked at her with resignation. Covering the mouth piece, he whispered to her, "This might be a while. You should head in, get a nice long sleep for once."
Tifa nodded, and headed back to the inn. She padded softly into their small room, and stared at the single bed. Her stomach flipped, and she gave a small smile. She moved over, and sat gingerly on the bed.
"Stop acting like a teenager," she chided herself quietly. "It's not like you're actually going to sleep with him or anything..."
She froze, then smacked her forehead, before placing her hand over her eyes as she grimaced.
Not going there, we are NOT going there, shoo, images...
She took a deep breath.
I wish I had a drink right now, she thought. Yes, some homemade Corel wine would be much appreciated at the moment, but it was not a luxury she had at the present time.
The thought of a drink brought her to the second phase of her plan: getting Cloud's shirt off, and on top of that taking a picture of said shirtless-Cloud.
She walked over to her bag, and slowly pulled out a can of tomato juice, studying it. This part would require some luck and timing, but Tifa always believed in creating her own luck. She popped open the can, and took a sip. Though not her favourite drink, she didn't mind tomato juice, and it had the plus side of being incredibly healthy.
It also made for an incredibly resilient stain when spilled on clothes.
She took the open can and placed it on the top of the bedside dresser. She then returned to her bag, and took out a Polaroid camera, gazing at it thoughtfully. Once she got his shirt off, taking the picture would be the easy part. The hard part came in keeping it, and not allowing Cloud to rip it up or burn it.
For a third and final time she rummaged about her bag, before pulling out a framed photograph. She gave a huge smile, just like she did every time she looked at it.
This should distract him long enough.
A/N: Brownie points to whoever can guess what the photo is. And oh my, cliffhanger! The next update should be sooner than this one was, though, alas, school starts up again in three days.