I woke up too early. It was still dark outside my window and Lady was still sleeping, she had migrated next to me in the unused portion of my bed. I sighed, Lady lifted her head off the pillow and stared at me.

"Sorry Lady" I muttered. She just yawned. I ruffled her fur on the top of her head, she wriggled over so her head was on top of my lap. I glanced at the clock on my night side table. The glowing red numbers read 3:15. I sighed, yes it was way to early to be awake.

I sat in my bed for short amount of time before deciding I was not going to get anymore sleep today. I pulled myself out of my warm comforting bed and to the window, it opened without resistance. The night was surprisingly clear and not too cold.

I pulled on a sweatshirt and my gym shoes, Lady was standing up on my bed looking at me cocking her head to the side. I smiled at her, she wagged her tail. I walked over to her and pet her for a moment before leading her out of my room.

"Lets go for a walk Lady" I whispered while opening the back door. I would not normally go for a walk alone in the middle of the night, but I needed a walk. It felt safer going with Lady rather than alone.

I crossed the small yard into the forest next to my house. Lady trotted faithfully at my side. The path was small and narrow, a blanket of trees and tall ferns surrounded me on both sides. Lady trotted around the forest, she would only stray ten feet or so from me and she always returned after a few moments.

I sighed brushing my fingers over the top of the ferns. I stopped to sit down on a relatively dry fallen tree trunk. I called for Lady so she would know where I decided to sit down. Lady trotted over wagging her tail, she likes walking in the woods.

I had only been sitting down for a little while, with lady sitting next to me when she stood up towards the forest. She growled and barked ferociously. The hair on her back stood up and she crouched down snarling and barking. My heart beat wad erratic. What is out there? This was a bad idea; I shouldn't have come out here.

I saw the figure of a man walking through the trees I suddenly couldn't catch my breath. Lady looked ready to leap, I was sure she would attack the man. As he neared I could see he was familiar looking, Lady didn't notice that though, she kept snarling and growling.

Edward emerged from the trees, I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. Lady stopped her barking and straightened up her fur didn't go down though. She never has really liked Edward all that much.

"Sorry to scare you. Alice said you were walking in the woods alone. You know that's not safe" Edward said quietly walking over to me.

"I'm not alone, Lady is here" I pointed to her sitting alert next to me. Edward cracked a smile.

"you never know who could be in the woods, or what" Edward looked off into the forest, he was kind of scaring me. His mood was so depressed. Edward suddenly turned towards me, his face looked tortured.

"I am so sorry Bella, that all of this has happened to you. You don't deserve any of it. You know that right? Bella, you are perfect. Utterly perfect" Edward scooted closer to me and grabbed my hands. I wanted to tell him, yes I do deserve it I am most defiantly not perfect.

So I started to cry. I still didn't know if I wanted to tell him. I didn't know if I could tell him. I was so scared as to what he would think. I couldn't lose him. I cant live without him now, it just isn't possible.

"Edward" I sniffed whipping my eyes. "I'm scared"

"I wont let anything hurt you" Edward promised.

"I'm scared to tell you" I kept my eyes away from his face.

"Bella, there is nothing you could tell me that would make me think any differently of you" Edward swore to me, but how could I believe him?

"Thinking about it makes me wish I was dead, I feel like someone has shredded my insides and put them back in wrong" I mumbled tears streamed down my face like a river. Edward reached out to me but I stood up and ran.

I ran. I ran away from the only boy who I have ever really cared about. Lady followed me as I ran through the woods. Edward didn't follow. It was getting progressively lighter. I ran even though I was blinded by my tears, I ran even though my lungs were on fire. I ran away from everything, because maybe if I run fast enough it cant catch me.

I could see the road between the trees, I didn't want to go back home so I turned and ran deeper into the forest off the trail. I fell often but I always pushed myself up and kept going. Lady kept my pace easily. I stumbled on a root on the ground maybe, I fell but this time I didn't try and get up. I lay face down on the forest floor sobbing.

Lady nudged me with her nose whimpering slightly. I moved so I was sitting with my legs curled up. I grabbed fistfuls of my hair and pulled while I cried just so I could feel something.

Its all my fault, all of it is and I know that. Its obvious. People shouldn't be near me, I just mess everything up. Maybe I deserve to die. I could never kill myself though, that's just the easy way out. No I don't deserve to die, I deserve to live with this gnawing at my insides, eating me alive.

I don't know how long I sat there crying for everything I lost, everything that could have been. Everything that would have been, not could have. I would have run away from him. Maybe to Forks, or maybe somewhere completely new, perhaps LA, I love the sun. I would have been happy, we would have been happy.

A sob erupted through me as I saw an image of what could have been, I was happy. Smiling holding the little baby in my arms, we were in a small apartment somewhere. But that didn't matter, we were happy and healthy and that's all we would have needed.

I wrapped my arms around myself clutching so tightly I left marks in my own skin. I bawled rather loudly with my eyes squeezed shut blocking out everything of this world. I didn't want to be alone anymore, I want him here with me.

"Edward!" I yelled still crying. I continued to scream his name for a short while longer. Edward was suddenly in front of me with a panicked expression written on his face. I took one look at him and broke down again.

EPOV

I was walking in the forest when I heard Bella's strangled voice yell my name, I could hear she was crying. I sprinted over to her faster than I had ever run. I had realized I had gotten so far from her.

Bella was sitting on the forest floor curled up in a ball crying with the dog laying down next to her. I wanted to crush his face in, he did this to an angel he deserved to die a horribly painful death. Oh how I wished I could do that.

"Maybe it would be different, if he didn't kill it. If I didn't let him" Bella sobbed, I sat down in front of her. I tried to put on a comforting expression, it was slightly difficult because I was so mad at Andrew for doing this to her.

"I might have still come here, but it would be different." Bella sobbed. I had no idea what she was talking about. Alice had said I wouldn't be happy, she refused to tell me what Bella was going to say though.

"What are you talking about Bella?" I asked quietly. She looked up at me for the first time. Her eyes were red and filled with unshed tears and her face was puffy from crying, but of course none of this could take away from her beauty.

"Please don't get mad ok?" Bella asked in a small weak voice.

"I could never be mad at you" I told her honestly.

"I didn't say at me, I don't want you to be mad at all" Bella said shaking her head violently, tears flew every direction as she did so.

"I wont be mad" I promised. I hoped I could keep that promise though, it might prove difficult.

"Andrew r-raped me" Bella stuttered between he sobs. I had to remind myself that I should be here for Bella now, I can be mad later. But how could someone do this to her!? I clenched my jaw. I wished I could have protected her. I wished I could help her at all but I didn't know what to say. Maybe I should ask Rosalie when I get home.

"Bella, I wish I could do something to take your pain away. You know its not your fault right? That you did nothing wrong?" I pleaded with her. Bella continued on like she could hear me though.

"I got pregnant. At first I was scared to death. I wanted to have an abortion. I was going to, but then I realized it was an opening, a reason for me to get out. I needed to get away from him for the sake of my unborn baby. I made up my mind to leave, I wasn't sure where I would go but I knew I was leaving" Bella stopped to take a deep breath.

"I was about 2 and a half months along I would assume, maybe more maybe less though. Then one day we were at his house alone. I made him mad." Bella stopped to take another shaky breath "He p-pushed me down the stairs. Then t-the next thing I knew. I wasn't pregnant anymore" Maybe I should talk to Esme too. I didn't know what to do, for once in my long life I didn't know what I could do to help her.

"Bella, I'm so sorry" was all I could tell her. My heart went out to her, it was being ripped in two by this story. I couldn't bear to imagine Bella in so much pain.

"not your fault" she mumbled taking a deep breath looking at the sky.

"Its not yours either" I told her.

"Will you take me home. Charlie might get worried" Bella sighed. I nodded. I stood up and lifted Bella up. Instead of setting her down on her feet I held her in my arms and started to walk back towards the house.

"I can walk" Bella muttered under hear shaky breath. I half smiled.

"Yes you can, but I want to hold you now" I looked down at her big deep brown eyes. Her bottom lip trembled. I held her slightly tighter, as if my strength alone could protect her against what she must be feeling. If only I sighed to myself.

I felt Bella start to cry silently. I started humming the lullaby I had written for her. I could feel and hear her heartbeat slowing and her breathing become more even. She was not yet asleep, but almost.

I placed her in her bed gently. I was unsure of what to do now. I didn't really want her to wake up alone, but I was still steaming from what she had told me. I wrote her a quick note telling her to please call me when she wakes up. Leaving my phone number in case she had forgotten it.

I swiftly jumped out of the window. I ran as fast as I possibly could I let my anger at that dead human thing fuel me. I reached my house soon, before entering I had to get a handle on my emotions. I roared loudly and punched a large oak tree sending it crashing on the ground.

I started pacing and running my hands though my hair. How could he do that to her? My Bella, my poor Bella. My anger was slightly diluted by the sadness rushing though me. What can I do to make it better? I need to fix this for her.

I ran into the house. The whole family was sitting on the couches in the front room doing various things. Alice looked to me worriedly once I walked in. I glared at her so she told you then Edward? Alice asked sadly in her thoughts. I snarled at her showing my teeth.

"You could have warned me, told me what to say. How to help" I growled. The family looked at me shocked. Then they understood, there are no secrets in our family.

"You wouldn't have been able to even help her, you would be so overrun with guilt" Alice stated. I threw my hands up and snarled anyway, I knew she was right though.

"how do I help, how do I make it go away?" I moaned putting my head in my hands.

"You cant" Rosalie told me less than gently. My head snapped up to look at her. "you just need to be there for her. Nothing will make it go away, it happened she needs to accept that and get over it. So do you"

This chapter was really hard to write because I just feel so bad for Bella, she has already been through so much. Anyway review people and I shall post the next chapter