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Logan could hear the breaking of her heart like the background beat of the song playing on the stereo. Piece-by-piece the model was coming together. His model. It was an accomplishment that far surpassed every other thing he'd ever done in his lifetime. This was permanent – something that he could look at and say, 'I did that.'
Carefully he removed the small tag that said 'red' from one set of flowers and placed it next to the shed before he leaned back to look at the whole thing. But even as he did, her tears burned in his eyes. He could still feel the curve of her shoulders as they shook next to his chest, and his heart hurt all over again. Fragments of pictures of the two of them sitting under the trees talking drifted through his mind. What had they talked about for four years? Him. Mostly, he now realized.
She was in pain – at the very bottom of who she was she was in pain, and he never once bothered to notice. He shook his head at his own arrogance as he set up the last three into the center of the backyard.
The door closed, and Logan looked up. "Where've you been?"
"The Dragonfly."
Jealously jumped into Logan's throat. "The Dragonfly?"
"Yeah, Lorelai called me about the inn's grounds." Brian walked into the kitchen and pulled a glass out of the cabinet.
"What about the inn's grounds?"
"She wants me to rework it," Brian said, leaning on the door frame and looking into his glass.
"And that's a problem?"
"No, that's great," Brian said, taking a drink.
"Doesn't sound great."
Brian shook his head slowly. "I just… it's just all moving really fast all of a sudden. What if I can't make it work out."
"What are you talking about?"
"The business. What if I can't do it?"
"Are you kidding me? You could do this stuff in your sleep."
"Yeah, but by myself?" Brian shook his head slowly. "I don't know."
"I can help," Logan said, offering before he thought the offer though.
Gratitude crossed Brian's face as his gaze caught the model on the table. "You've been working on it."
"Yeah. I think it's finished."
"Mind if I take a look?"
Logan shrugged, and Brian pushed away form the door frame and sat down.
"Nice balance," Brian said, examining the work. "It's symmetrical in an asymmetrical way."
"And that's good?"
"That's great. I hate straight symmetry."
Logan nodded, having no idea what Brian was talking about.
"When we go to the Dragonfly Saturday, would you mind if we bring it?" Brian asked, turning it slowly.
We? Dragonfly? Saturday? "Sounds good."
OoOoOo
"I can't believe you're going to work on my mom's inn," Rory said slightly panicked.
"Brian's good at this stuff, and it's not like we're going to tear the place down," Logan said, munching on his chicken salad sandwich. "He won't do anything they don't want."
"It's just too weird. I've never seen Mom and Sookie so excited about any guy that's walked through their living room – other than their husbands that is."
"So they like Brian?" Logan asked, hoping the breaking of his heart wasn't so obvious to her as it was to him.
"Yeah." Rory's gaze fell to her sandwich as she smiled softly. "They really do."
Logan watched her for one more moment, and then he forced his gaze to focus on the trees around them. "Well, I'm happy for you."
OoOoOo
"We're supposed to pick up Rory on the way," Brian said, grabbing his portfolio from beside the door. "You got that?"
"Yeah," Logan said, balancing the model in his hands carefully.
"Let's hit it."
They walked down to the car, placed the model in the trunk, and crawled in.
"I just love spring," Brian said, breathing in the warmth from the car's windshield. "Everything's so new and fresh."
"Thank you Hallmark."
"Can you blame me?"
"No," Logan said, and he really couldn't. Life in Brian's world looked amazing from where Logan was it. A business just starting. Full time work outside of the business. And the most beautiful girl in the world in love with him. How could he be anything but sappy?
They pulled up to Rory's apartment, and Logan let Brian go up and get her. He was determined not get in the way of their happiness. Deftly he crawled into the backseat and told his heart to stop getting excited. This was about them, he was just along for the ride.
However, the second they emerged onto the top step, his breath caught. Even in faded jeans, a t-shirt, and with her hair pulled back in a ponytail, she looked incredible.
"Morning," Logan said from the backseat when she crawled in.
"Hello, you," she said, and he heard her happiness all the way to his core.
She's your friend. Today you're going to have to remember that.
OoOoO
"And you can get a birdbath like that?" Lorelai asked, sitting forward on the couch as she examined the model.
"Close enough," Brian answered from his chair. At his feet Rory smiled up at him as Logan watched from across the room fighting to keep the pain his heart from showing on his face.
"This is really beautiful," Lorelai said.
"It's all Logan," Brian said. "He did the whole design."
"Well, you're very talented," Lorelai said, smiling at Logan.
"Thank you." He could feel the tips of his ears burning.
"We could go out back and take a look at it," Brian said.
"That sounds good."
OoOoO
"You want some help?" Rory asked a few hours later as Logan sat on the grass, picking up the rocks that had invaded the lawn with each new project.
"Sure," he said with a smile.
She sat down and started throwing rocks in the little wagon.
"How's it going over there?" Logan asked nodding over to Brian and Lorelai who sat on the back steps sketching out a design.
"Good, I think. Mom's excited about have freesia and tulips to look at."
"It'll be nice." Logan threw two more rocks in the wagon and looked around the yard.
"She liked your design."
He shrugged. "I didn't know what I was doing."
"Well, it doesn't look like it. Brian was impressed too."
"It's one thing to glue pieces on a mat, but I wouldn't know where to start with actually doing it for real."
"Brian's not worried. He says it's simple yet elegant," she said, "Or something like that."
Logan knew that tone. It was the same on he'd used when he talked about Mandy. His mind slipped back to sitting across the desk from Rory all those months ago, talking about Mandy. Not once in all the time they were together had Rory told him to shut up and leave although now he really couldn't see why she hadn't. He would have. It was time to repay her, and even if it killed him, he was going to support her in anyway he could.
"Hey," Rory said, breaking into his thoughts. "Where'd you go?"
He smiled sadly. "Nowhere."
OoOo
"Let's take it down there a little ways," Rory said, pointing down the alley.
"Why can't we just dump it here?" Logan asked as he pulled the wagon out of the back gate.
"Because it's already too high here," she said, and then a grin spread across her face. "Besides, you look cute pulling that wagon."
"Gee, thanks."
She smiled as he stepped beside her, and they walked side-by-side down the alley.
"Just tell me where."
Her heart wished she could bridge the six inches between them and take his hand. It was crazy. Brian was working on her mother's yard, looking perfectly at home, and yet instead of being happy about that, she was out here in the alley fantasizing about Logan.
"You know," he said when they were almost to the end, "If we don't stop soon, we'll be in Hartford."
"Oh, yeah, sorry. Here's fine."
Immediately he turned and tipped the wagon over, scattering the rocks across the alley. "Better?"
"Better," she said, forcing her heart not to think about the warmth of his brown eyes.
"So, how long has your mom owned this place?" Logan asked as they started back for the gate.
"Her and Sookie built it when I started Yale," she said falling into step with him effortlessly.
As they rounded the gate, Rory pulled Logan's arm to stop him while they watched Brian and Lorelai on the porch looking over the sketches.
"Looks like things are really moving along," Rory said as she strode over to them leaving Logan behind after a few moments.
"How's everything going?" Rory said happily.
"Great," Brian said, looking up, "we're just going over some drawings."
"Show me what you've got." Rory said.
"Brian has some great ideas, it's going to be beautiful," Lorelai said happily.
"That's wonderful, Mom," Rory said, smiling.
OoOoO
Rory sat alone in the inn's kitchen making a sandwich. She had spent the afternoon with her mom while Brian and Logan did some work outside and her mom wanted to know all about her and Brian. Lorelai was shocked to find out they hadn't slept together yet.
Lorelai had insisted that she didn't want their crazy promise to each other when Rory was young to stop her from making her own decisions. And the more Rory thought about it, the more she thought she may have been using that as an excuse to push him away.
As that ball began rolling, she thought about how much she liked him and didn't want to lose him. Sure, he says he's fine with waiting, but what if he didn't really mean it. How could she be that dumb?
Her mom's words were the exact same words Rory had been thinking since Brian had asked her out the first time. One way or another she was destined to lose him – the only question now was which way would win the final contest.
OoOoO
Brian took Rory's hand at the top step outside her apartment building. Logan was waiting in the car, lit only by the streetlights.
"I had fun today," Brian said, inching toward her, and her heart thudded in her stomach.
Logan could see them, she was sure of it, an even if he wasn't watching, the thought that he might be sent her searching for a safe hiding place. "I did too." She glanced back down the steps to the car, but it was dark. "It's going to be nice."
"Yeah, it is. Thanks for your help."
"No problem." A picture of Logan dumping rocks in the alley flitted through her mind and she batted it away, but it was instantly replaced with a picture of her and Lorelai's conversation this afternoon. She felt Brian leaning in before he actually did, and before she could stop herself, she backed away so that his lips met only the side of hers.
Confusion traced through his eyes as he backed away to look at her. There was a long pause as Rory fought the conflicting feelings running through her spirit.
"Umm, I thought about checking out the Conservatory tomorrow," Brian sad, tightening his grip on her hand. "You want to go?"
She nodded, fighting the tears that had sprung to her eyes.
"I'll pick you up… at one?"
Slowly she nodded again, wishing she could meet his eyes and calm the confusion she saw every time she looked into them.
"Okay. Well, I'll see you the?"
"Yeah," she said, and with one small swing, he let go of her hand and stepped away from her.
She watched him as he retraced his steps back to his car. At the car door, he turned and waved to her once. Sadly she waved back. Then she turned and escaped into the apartment, but once inside, she turned and watched his car come to life and pull away.
What was she doing? If she didn't get it together, she was going to lose the best thing that had ever happened to her. Brian Easton was everything she'd ever asked God for. He was sweet and charming. He had a good future in front of him, and most of all he loved her. But not one pro on one side of the list could equal the single con. He wasn't Logan.
OoOoOo
When they got to the apartment, Logan expected Brian to go right up the stairs, take a shower, and go to bed. Instead he walked over to the couch and flopped onto it.
Logan started up the steps.
"What do you think of Rory?" Brian asked when Logan was three steps up, and instantly he stopped and turned back to the living room.
"Rory?" he asked as the name echoed through his mind. Without noticing he was moving, eh came back into the living room. "She's nice. Why?"
Brian shrugged, and Logan sat down as concern jumped into his chest.
"No reason." Brian leaned back and closed his eyes. "She's great, you know? She makes me laugh, the way she puts her chin in her hand when she's thinking. And when she opens the door and says, 'Hello, you.'"
Her voice rang in Logan's head as he mouthed the words with Brian.
"So, what's the problem?" Logan asked, forcing the question out.
"I don't know. Maybe it's this whole not sleeping together thing." Brian shook his head. "I mean it feels like we're more like friends than like we're actually dating sometimes. I don't know. It's getting to the point that I'm not sure she even like me anymore."
Logan's heart jumped. "Have you asked her about it?"
"No. I mean, I respect her for waiting, but sometimes it makes me feel like she's not committed as I am. Wouldn't she want to if she was?"
"Maybe there's more to it."
"What else could there be?"
"Well, you have asked her why she doesn't want to?"
"No, not exactly. I just kind of figured after we went out for awhile, she'd change her mind."
"It sounds to me like you need to talk to her. Let her know what's going on with you." Logan yanked all the sanity he could find to him. "I'm sure she loves you."
"Really?" Brian asked, and the confusion in his eyes rang out in his voice.
"Yeah." Logan ducked his head sadly. "I'm sure she does."
OoOoO
"I was thinking," Rory said, swinging her hand in Brian's as they walked past the orchids in the Conservatory. "Saturday's my birthday, and I was thinking we should really celebrate."
Expectation leaped into Brian's eyes. "Oh, yeah? What did you have in mind?"
Rory considered her proposition for three more steps. She had seen the look in Brian's eyes when she left him last night, and it didn't take a psychic to see that she was in danger of losing him if she kept up her 'kissing only' rule.
Slowly she shrugged. "I don't know. I thought maybe we could go to Waverly for the night."
"Waverly?" Brian stopped short as utter shock slid across his face. "The hotel?"
"Yeah," she said, wishing she could meet his gaze. "We could go after work on Friday, and we wouldn't have to drive anywhere – like out of town or anything."
"Are you sure?" Brian asked totally floored.
"Yeah, I am." And the tears in her voice slipped into her eyes as she look at him. She had to be or she was going to lose him. Of that, she was perfectly sure.
OoOoOo
"We're going to the Waverly for her birthday this weekend," Brian said, sounding happier than he had in a month.
Instantly Logan's fork clattered back to his plate. "Waverly?"
"Yeah."
"Isn't that… Umm, don't you think that's pushing her a little bit?"
"She asked me," Brian said. "You were right, she does love me."
"Oh," Logan's heart fell with his gaze. "How nice for you."
Panic. It was the only word to describe the racing of Logan's heart. They were going away together – for the weekend, and when they came back, they would be on the fast track to marriage. He could feel it in his gut. Even now he could see her smiling at him as she stood next to Brian at their wedding, and then she would turned and pledge her undying love to his best friend.
Vehemently he shook his head to clear it of the awful picture. "When are you going?"
"Friday, right after work," Brian said, "I'm picking her up at the office."
OoOo
"So you and Brian must be really serious," Logan said the next afternoon under the trees. Even saying the words ripped his heart out, and it was all he could to not break down and beg her not to leave right then and there.
"Yeah," she said softly. "He's been really great about waiting, but I figured, you now, what are we waiting for anyway. We're both adults, and it's not like either of us is seeing anyone else, so…"
"Yeah, it makes complete sense."
"It was silly," Rory said, "I don't know what I was waiting for."
Me to wake up, Logan begged silently. "I think it's smart. It clouds thing too much at the beginning."
"Yeah, but it's been long enough now. Besides, Lorelai's right, making him wait isn't fair."
He stopped short. "Lorelai?"
"Oh, you know, she just said what I was already thinking. Besides, it's not fair to ask him to respect what I want if I don't respect what he wants."
He waited a long moment before he could get the words outs. "I guess coming from me this probably sounds stupid, but shouldn't being together make sense for both people?"
"Oh, but it does," she gushed, and then she stopped. "Most of the time anyway. I just… I've never been with anybody who really loved me… like he does. I don't want to lose that."
It was there again, the vulnerability in her eyes, and his heart tripped over it. "So you really love him then?"
"Yeah," she said, looking at him as the tears shone on her lashes. "I really do."
OoOoOo
"Hey," Logan said, Thursday morning as he swung into her cubicle the little package tucked in his breast pocket.
Tomorrow and forever would be hers to share with Brian. He had to find a way to respect that and move on, but today, for one more day they could be together, no Brian between them.
"I got you something," he said, sliding into the chair.
"Why?" she asked, looking up in puzzlement.
With only one second of hesitation, he pulled out the box and sat it in front of her. "Happy birthday."
She looked at the package and then up at him. "You didn't have to do this."
Her smile lit his heart. "Open it."
Slowly she fingered the small box, and then she turned it over and tore the paper away. He watched her face as love rushed through him unbridled.
The paper slid form the box, and her smile surrendered to confusion. Eternity.
"I figured, you know, you might need some for the weekend," he said as pain sliced through his heart.
"I… I don't know what to say," she said, looking from him to the box and back again.
"You don't have to say anything. It's just my way of saying thanks for everything you've done for me, and to say good luck… with Brian."
"Logan," she said, standing and walking around the desk.
He stood and met her at the side of the desk where he wrapped her into his arms.
"Thank you."
Well it seems that things are certainly getting serious for Rory and Brian, if only Logan would tell her how he really feels, sigh. Review please:)