The next morning, Tony got to the office before anybody else had arrived. He headed up to the bullpen and slowly walked over to his desk. He sighed heavily, forcing away the regret that threatened to consume him, and began to empty his drawers. It took some time since it hurt a lot in his right hand every time he used it, but at least it wasn't broken after all. Everything he wanted to keep went down into a box, everything that he was going to leave behind he put in neat stacks on top of the desk, the rest he just threw away.

He pulled out a note from his pocket and put it on Gibbs' desk. Then he took the box with personal belongings down to his car before going up to the Director's office. He sat down in a chair outside and waited for her to arrive. He really didn't want to go see Gibbs about this. His boss would force him to stay, and he just couldn't do that. He didn't want to. He had to leave. He couldn't bear to see Gibbs every day and not be able to tell him what he felt. How many times hadn't he thought that he'd seen a look of yearning in the silver-haired man's eyes? A yearning for him? But the look had always vanished so fast that he knew he must've imagined it.

He looked up when he heard footsteps approaching and saw the Director coming towards him with Cynthia in tow. He glanced at his watch and saw that he had been sitting there for almost two hours. He took a deep breath before standing up, biting his lip like a nervous school boy who had been sent to the Principal's office.

"Tony", Jenny said with a surprised tone in her voice when she reached him. "What are you doing here so early?"

"I need to talk to you, Jen", Tony said with almost a pleading look in his eyes.

"Is everything alright? You seem a little stressed."

"No, it's... Please, Jen. Can we just go inside?"

"Of course."

Jenny unlocked the door to the office and beckoned him to go inside. She took a seat behind her desk and watched as Tony slowly walked up to her. He stopped in front of the desk and stared down on the floor with a troubled look on his face. Jenny had never seen him like this before. Something was really bothering him, and it made her concerned.

"What is it you want to talk to me about, Tony?" she asked.

Tony closed his eyes and took a deep breath before looking at her again. He was composed now, but Jenny was appalled by the look of anguish mixed with cold resolution she could in his eyes.

"I want to resign", he said huskily and put his badge and gun firmly on the desk.

Jenny just stared at the young agent for a moment before leaning forward and locking eyes with him.

"Have you talked to Gibbs about this?" she asked, trying to sound calmer than she felt.

"No. And I don't want to. He wouldn't let me go. I need to go, Jen. I've thought about this, and there's just no other way."

"But why, Tony? Has something happened?"

Tony let out a short snort of dry laughter. "No. It's more what isn't happening that makes me do this. I just can't take it anymore."

"What isn't happening, Tony?"

"I can't tell you", he said, and she could clearly see a flash of pain on his face. "It's a personal matter between me and..." He stopped and sighed heavily. "You know what? It doesn't really matter."

"Don't you like it here anymore? Is that why you want to resign? Did you have a disagreement with one of your co-workers? If that's what making you do this, I'm sure we can come up with a resolution so you can stay. Do you want to be transferred to another team?"

"Please, Jen. I've already made up my mind about this. Don't make it any harder than it already is. I've been here way too long. It's time for me to move on."

"Where are you planning to go?"

"I don't know. I just..." His voice trailed off and he broke eye contact with her. In that moment he looked so much as a little boy that Jenny just wanted to hug him and make his fears go away.

"I've already emptied my desk", he continued after a moment of silence. "As soon as we're done here, I'm leaving."

"Tony, you know that you can't walk out just like that. There are a lot of forms to be filled and..."

"I can't stay here a minute longer, Jen!" Tony almost screamed and slammed his fist on the desk, gasping sharply when pain once again shot through his arm. He gritted his teeth and held his aching hand in the other, waiting for the pain to subside before speaking again.

"Please, Jen. Just let me go. It doesn't matter what you say. As soon as I walk through that door, you'll never see me again. I just want your consent."

Jenny sighed and nodded.

"As you wish, Tony", she said. "If you really want to leave, I can't force you to stay. But what will you tell your team? What will you tell Abby and Ducky?"

"I've left a note. I don't think I can face them right now." He took a deep breath and straightened his back, giving her a resolute look. "Good bye, Director."

"Good bye, Agent DiNozzo. I just hope, for your sake, that you're not making the wrong decision."

"So am I, Director. So am I."

He turned around and left the office, forcing back the tears that threatened to fall down his cheeks. It was the toughest decision he had ever made. It felt like his heart had been torn out of his chest, leaving an empty hole that consumed him on the inside. He didn't want to leave. He loved this job and the team. But he couldn't live with his feelings bottled up like that. He couldn't be so close to Gibbs, knowing that his feelings would never be returned.

He went down to the garage and leaned shakily against his car before getting behind the wheel. Reluctantly he started the engine and drove off, never looking back, convincing himself that what he did was the right thing. Then why did it feel so wrong?

tbc?