Author's Note: Tried something new... Dustpelt's POV. Not a wonderful chappie, maybe because I don't quite fancy the pairing? Or maybe I'm getting worse at writing...

Because Of You

She never looked at me in the way I had looked at her. But I have always believed she would one day.

From kits to apprentices we were always close. I had thought nothing can break us apart. Not a Clan cat or a warrior. Much less a kittypet, and an apprentice at that.

I knew from her face that something had happened in the patrol. I could sense it was something that has a great effect on her; and I was desperate to know. Of course, I could see there was a battle but something had come out of the battle.

But no, she wouldn't tell me, for the first time since we were born. But something definitely happened, and I took a guess.

Because the next time I snapped at that annoying ginger kittypet, she said nothing.

Nothing… Sandpaw…

What did Fireheart poison her mind with?

I forced myself to trust that she was just making a friend. But I felt uneasy at the glow in her eyes when she's with him.

Not only did she not torment Fireheart anymore, she actually talked to him. And not in her usual prickly way, but the way she talked to me.

And now, it was the opposite. She started to snap at me whenever I made a comment on the kittypet. She would never know… prickly as I am, I still have a heart. A heart that belonged to her.

Everything I do was for her.

I guess that was what sharpened my hatred towards the kittypet that was made warrior earlier because of his so called 'courage'. I loathe every fur on him and I wished he would just crawl back to his Twolegs. I wished he never came. I vowed I would win back Sandpaw, if it's the last thing I do.

And so I began on my greatest quest.

The first step was to find another cat who hated Fireheart as well. A dark pelt entered my mind. Isn't it obvious? Darkstripe, my second mentor. And of course, Longtail. Both cats despised Fireheart ever since the day he came. Last but definitely not the least, Tigerclaw. I had looked up to him since I was a kit, and I was pleased he shared my hatred towards Fireheart.

I didn't actually hang out with them often, but I do treat them as some sort of allies. We were bound together by one single feeling.

The bitterness of it all… when Sandpaw became Sandstorm and I became Dustpelt, she grew even closer to Fireheart. She still talked to me but not as often. I was left gazing after her longingly, my heart cracked. I didn't bother to hide the pain in my eyes, but of course, Sandstorm's eyes were all for Fireheart and she didn't notice.

I was shocked beyond words when Tigerclaw was brought to the truth. There goes my hope of winning Sandstorm back, shattered like that. If you love someone, you must let her go… I knew of that logic so long time ago, but I can't let Sandstorm go.

But at least something tempered my pain… my first apprentice, Ashpaw.

I had sat proudly, looking from the she-kit to the tom-kit. I wished to have the tom-kit for he would be a stronger fighter, but strangely enough, I pictured myself training with the she-kit and I felt a prickle of anticipation.

That probably explains why I was a little disappointed with getting the tom-kit, Ashpaw instead of Fernpaw. Darkstripe got her. Even though he was my mentor, I felt uneasy with leaving him with the shy-looking she-cat. I felt the need to… defend her.

Ashpaw was great; obedient and strong, but Fernpaw would be more secure if I was her mentor.

I found her alone one day and took the opportunity to get to know her. She was kind and gentle, and it was so easy to chat with her. But something she said…

"I'm sure you'll make a great warrior, Fernpaw," I meowed warmly, meaning every word I say.

Fernpaw looked up at me steadily, making my paws prickle. "But… I think my dream is to be a medicine cat."

My heart skipped a beat. "What?" I asked in disbelief, feeling disappointed. "Your dream..?" I should be glad for her, but I'm not.

Fernpaw hesitated. Her gaze was filled with sadness and something else. "That was my dream as a kit. But now… I don't think I want to be anymore."

My heart lifted. "Really?" I meowed, relief visible in my voice. Following it was curiosity. "Why?" I didn't want to question her, it might change her mind again. But there was something in the back of my mind that wanted to know… because… because… there was an answer I wanted to hear.

A glow entered her eyes. "Because I can't have a mate if I become a medicine cat."

Who? Who?! My mind was screaming for an answer, but I took a deep breath, swallowing my excitement. Hey wait… why was I excited in the first place? "You have a cat in mind?" I purred teasingly.

But Fernpaw didn't purr. She looked deadly serious. "Yes."

My heart seemed to stop for many moments. Did she like another cat? "Who?" I whispered, no longer joking.

Fernpaw met my eyes. My spine was tingling as she replied, "He's nearby."

I looked around wildly, panic rapidly rising inside me. It battled with the confusion inside me. Why should I act this way? So what if she already love a cat?

So what? So what? So what?

But this wasn't a 'so what' situation. The words 'so what' would never come across my mind.

My eyes caught a familiar ginger pelt. "Fireheart?" I meowed aloud, fury edging my voice.

Fernpaw held out a paw and touched my pelt to get back my attention. "Not him."

There was no other cat around except Fireheart and other she-cats. And of course…… me. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out.

"Dustpelt… can you stop hating Fireheart? … For my sake?"

I blinked. Why was she trying to protect him? But the look in her eyes were pleading and I couldn't refuse. Heavily, I nodded. "Okay."

Suddenly, Fernpaw was back to her old self, shy and quiet. "I—I got to go. Bye."

I gazed after her, wondering who was the cat she meant. Perhaps there was a tom I didn't see… but I knew that in my heart, I wasn't thinking that. I was thinking the obvious answer which I didn't want to be sure of. Because I have been hurt once… I don't like to be hurt twice. Even though I already know I had fallen for a second cat, I can't be sure she returned my feelings. Just like Sandstorm. Speaking of that pale ginger cat, I am no longer thinking of her. Even though I wished she would spend time with me like the old times, I didn't hope for anymore for her.

Now, it was Fernpaw who chased away my other thoughts.

The first cat I liked need not be the cat I will like forever. Even now, I thought back to my time with Sandstorm. It dawned on me that it might just be jealousy that drove me to wanting to win back the she-cat. It's not truly love, it's just a crush and strengthened by envy, it feels like love. That hurt could just be the pain of losing to Fireheart.

I still dislike Fireheart, but it was no longer considered hate.

And it's all because of you.

Long and boring chappie eh? Just review anyway.