Chapter 4

Tony opened his eyes at the smell of fresh coffee, looking towards the door, surprised to see Ziva standing there, not his boss. "I thought maybe you could use some." She handed him the cup, looking as tired as he did, having been up all night.

"Thanks." He moved slightly, just enough so that he could sit up and take a sip.

"How is she?" Ziva asked, brushing aside a strand of her hair, sitting in the only available chair in the room.

"In a lot of pain when she's awake." The look on Tony's face looked pained as well, hating the fact that Shelby was hurting, almost enough where it seemed like he could actually feel her pain. "She had a nightmare. Got a pretty good description of the guy, knows what happened."

Ziva waited in anticipation, watching the way Tony was with Shelby. Like Gibbs and Jenny, she too knew the history behind the friendship, but the Tony she was seeing was different than any she'd ever known before. He'd been careful with Jeanne too, but not like this. Gibbs being hurt tore him up as well, but never this badly. She remembered her brief crush on her partner and somehow just knew that what she was seeing here, before her, was the real thing. "Tony."

He thought she was urging him on to the details of the dream so he began. "She must have gotten shot first, as a distraction maybe, because she said that Jenny bent down to try to help her and the guy grabbed her from behind, pulled her into the Suburban. I'm thinking early 90s make. She said she thought it used to be black but was now a dark gray, but I really don't know if I'd go with color as description because they could have used paint to cover the original color. The windows were tinted, unusual for that decade, on that type vehicle, but it may have been a custom job too. She couldn't remember the license plate number." He didn't fault her on that, knowing she'd been doing good to be alive, let alone remember what she had. "Did Gibbs check the mall security cameras? I didn't even think about it until Shelby and I were talking."

She shook her head. "I don't think he did. He went to Jenny's house, then to Shelby's, to help McGee and get some DNA for both girls. We had their fingerprints, but…"

Tony nodded, knowing what she meant. "There was something in the car? Hair?"

"Abby's going over it with a fine mouth comb." He didn't even attempt to correct her English. "If something is there, she'll find it."

"She said he was six feet tall." Ziva looked at Tony, surprised at the exact measurement. "She was going off his height next to Jenny as opposed to Gibbs." He handed her the notes he'd taken. "Caucasian, muscular, athletic looking, like he worked out. His hair was dark black, but she said it could have been a wig or bad dye job, definitely not his own. She started to tell me about his eyes, but she couldn't go that far…and I didn't push."

Ziva nodded. That was the fine art of interrogation that she still had to learn, when to push, when not to. In Israel, she'd been allowed free rein, but here in America, in NCIS at least, things were very different.

"She thinks Jenny's gonna die." He paused, taking a breath and then slowly letting it out. "I told her that she'd be okay. It's Jenny; she has to be." He paused. "But I don't know…"

Ziva tried to think about their lives without Jenny, but couldn't imagine it. She was the only one of the NCIS agents who knew how much Jenny had loved Gibbs, how she still wasn't over him. She wasn't sure that even Gibbs could live through someone killing his wife, his daughter, and now Jenny too. She knew that Jenny thought of Shelby as a little sister and, knowing the pain of losing siblings, she prayed it was something Shelby would never have to go through. Jenny was a part of all their lives, one of the closest friends Ziva had, and also one of the longest, going back seven years. "She'll live." She remembered a time in Paris when it seemed like Jenny would die, a time she knew no one else was aware of, but if her friend had made it through that, she could make it through this.

Tony nodded, thinking to himself. He had never really forgiven her for Jeanne, never really taken responsibility for his actions either, choosing to lay all of the burden on Jenny. He knew, going in, that it wouldn't last, that it couldn't last, but he hadn't listened to reason. It had been the first time he'd been open to a relationship like that and, he had wondered recently, if it hadn't been Jeanne but really the idea of love that he had been so attached to, that he wanted back. He realized, by saying things that he had thought callous at the time, that Jenny was trying to help him from what had been her own experiences.

He realized Ziva was saying something and turned his attention back to her. "Are you okay?"

"Me?" He couldn't figure out why anyone was asking that, let alone Ziva. Shelby and Jenny were the victims here, and Gibbs, to an extent. He'd never stopped to ask himself that question once since it had happened.

"You." Ziva looked pointedly at him and he knew he had to answer, but what was the answer?

"I'm angry." He paused. "No, strike that. I'm royally pissed off. It's two days before Christmas. Two days. Shelby should be at home, in her own bed, and so should Jenny. Gibbs shouldn't be going through this. And I'm scared." She was the only person he would admit it to and hadn't planned on telling her until it came out of his mouth.

"Scared of what?" Watching the way Tony was holding Shelby, she knew scared of what, but wanted him to tell her, just like Tony had tried to counsel her each time she went through something.

"What if the bastard decides he didn't do a good enough job with Shelby? What if he tries to kill her this time? What if he does kill her? You're my partner, Ziva." She nodded. "But Shelby's been my best friend for longer than I wanna admit. There's something…I don't want to lose her." He paused, coming to a conclusion, that again he had no intention of saying until it was out of his mouth. "Because I love her."

A few months before, those words directed at another woman would have caused Ziva severe pain, but she nodded, her eyes looking into Tony's. "Because you love her." She'd always suspected it, but the past hours had only gone to prove her point.

Tony nodded, repeating the words again, not knowing that Shelby was awake. "Because I love her."

Gibbs was sitting in the MTAC, using the large, private screen to view the mall security cameras, when Ducky found him, also bringing the welcomed gift of a cup of coffee, made exactly as Gibbs preferred. He thanked his friend, watching the older Scotsman sit down beside him. "Mall security provided these."

Ducky nodded. "And you're looking for any sign of Shelby or the director's assailant."

"Jenny." For once in three years, Gibbs finally corrected him.

"What?" Ducky asked, turning his attention off the screen and back to his friend.

"It's Jenny. For God's sake, Ducky, you worked with us for how many years in Europe? Why can't you ever call her Jenny?" His tone was sharp, angrier at the situation and new developments than he was his friend.

"Jenny was the girl who commandeered the boat and rescued us," Ducky stated, matter-of-factly. "The girl you were in love with in Paris, the one who walked out on you. She is now the director of NCIS, more dangerous to develop feelings for than the old one."

"If this is your 'danger, stay away' message, I've heard it all before, Duck. Put the old records away." He paused. "She's still the same girl. She made the choice that was right for her, just like I did when I retired and went to Mexico, then later when I came back."

"She left for her career. Put it ahead of you once and, if it comes down to it, she will again, Jethro. Then what will you do? Can you go through that again?"

"Ducky…" Part of him knew his friend was right, but he was so tired of caring. "Let's just find Jenny and I'll worry about the rest of it then." He knew his friend was worrying unnecessarily. He and Jenny had had the conversation and there seemed to be nothing else for them but to stay the way they were, even if it was killing them both, little by little.

"And what will you do if you don't find her? If she's…"

Gibbs looked at him, obviously angry. "Don't finish that sentence, Duck." His mind went back to that picture of them in Paris and he knew that there were no alternatives. He had to find Jenny, had to find her alive, or he would be lost, for good this time.

" Shelby." Ducky tried to find middle ground. "How is Shelby?"

"I feel torn…I want to be here, I want to be looking for the person who shot her, who has Jenny, but I also want to be with my sister, taking care of her." He paused. "She had that picture of Kelly up in the living room." Ducky looked puzzled. "She took one of Kelly and me during…that last Christmas." He paused, pained. "Kelly used to love Christmas. I guess that's why…"

"Haven't you had a Christmas in the last seventeen years?" Ducky asked, curious, trying to remember.

"One. Jenny and I, in Paris." He paused, remembering the last time he'd talked to his other best friend. "We were fighting, Ducky. She wanted to give me a Christmas, try to help me not be alone, and I fought with her about it. The last words I said to her…" He'd been a fool, always assuming he'd see her one more time. He knew better, knew that the last time he talked to one of 'his girls' could really be the last time, but he'd let his guard down, screwed up. He'd had the good fortune to be able to apologize to Shelby, but what if he never got that chance with Jen?

Ducky realized that his friend was in pain and tried to change the subject back again. "You said you went to the house?"

Gibbs nodded, describing the picture he'd seen to Ducky. "I've known the story of how they met." Ducky nodded, having heard it before as well. "But the way they looked at each other."

"If they did have feelings for each other…would that be such a bad thing?" Gibbs made a face. "The boy's grown up, Jethro. Grown up a lot in the past year and a half." Since the coma that had almost claimed Gibbs' life, Tony hadn't been the same. None of them really had. "He's not the same irresponsible…" Ducky trailed off.

Gibbs thought about it and realized that Ducky was right. Since he'd come back from Mexico, it was almost as if Tony were a completely different person, still with his good traits, but some of his bad ones, like running around with any and every woman that crossed his path, had gone by the wayside. If Tony did love his sister, didn't she deserve to be happy? "I'll have to talk to Jenny about it." Jenny was always so much better at telling him what to do about personal issues. He tended to be overprotective, mainly because he didn't have much family left.

Both men turned back to the screen ahead of them, just in time for the show. The Suburban was blocking one screen, so Ducky observed everything about the vehicle that he could, including the license plate, and Gibbs turned his attention to the girls, smiling as he saw them, healthy, safe, relaxed, such a change from the current situation. He saw the girls talking and then, out of nowhere, Shelby fall, so obviously in pain. He watched as Jenny bent to help her, trying to comfort her, stop the bleeding, and then as she struggled against her attacker. He paused the tape, rewinding it, and then going forward again, pausing it once more. "Son of a bitch."

"Jethro?" Ducky asked, turning his attention back quickly to his friend.

"Son of a bitch!" Gibbs exclaimed, getting up, grabbing his coat. "I know who's got Jen."