Yay! I got three reviews! I wasn't really expecting any at all, but three is great for the first chapter. Okay, I've got a couple of things that I need to clear up, and they are as follows…
-I have not yet read Trickster's Choice or whatever the one after that is, so this story will not follow whatever happened in that series…
-I was informed by pretty how town that the title "Healer's Daughter" is already being used by Fateless Wanderer, and so, as you probably already know, I have changed the title to "The Queenscove Knight: Book One: The Beginning."
-Therefore, I would like to apologize to Fateless Wanderer for not bothering to check and see if the title was already taken. (So if you're reading this, I'm very and sincerely sorry, and I would like you to that I did not at all mean to offend you.)
-On this same topic, I know that a lot of stories have been written about Neal's prophesized daughter, and to any of you who has written one of them, (especially Fateless Wanderer) I would like for you to know that I am trying to be original and I am not purposely trying to steal anything from your stories, but as pretty how town puts it, it is "inevitable, seeing as the girls in both stories are trying for their knighthood." Which is very true. And there are some other things that are going to have to overlap if you want the story to be accurate. So, please don't get your feelings hurt!
Review Replies:
crouching bunny-I'm glad that you like the story so much! And here is your update…
LadyReaderofBooks- Yeah, sorry about the shortness, but this one is longer, I promise! And I tried to add more descriptions, but you'll have to tell me how that turned out. And her name is pronounced Gay-lee-eh-na, or if I wrote it as Gael it would be pronounced as Gale.
pretty how town- I cannot thank you enough for the corrections! I've edited Chapter One and fixed the "beautiful" part, that was so stupid of me, and I had it written normally in my rough draft, so I don't know what I was thinking. And as you know, I changed the story title. I really hope that no one is mad at me for "stealing" their ideas, which would be rather hard to do, as I have only read one "Neal's Daughter" story, and I know for sure that I am not stealing anything from that. Thanks again!
"Are you sure that you have everything dear?" Yukimi asked her daughter, her smooth face scrunched up in worry.
"I'm sure Mother. And if I'm missing anything I'll write you for it." Gael sighed inwardly. Her mother was such a worrier.
Though truthfully, Gael was a bit nervous too. She and her mother were standing outside of the Queenscove stables, waiting for her father to join them so that he could escort his daughter to Corus, and Gael's stomach was twisted in knots, though the traditional Yamani exercises that her mother had taught her made sure that no one else could see her nerves. What if something went wrong? She could be asked to serve a probationary period, or not allowed to train at all, though she doubted that King Roald would allow this.
Trying to forget any melancholy thoughts, Gael hitched her bag up higher on her back, and then mounted up onto her horse, Griffin. He was a gorgeous, copper colored stallion with a long black mane and tail.
After another few minutes of waiting, Neal came trotting out of the stables on his horse.
"Goodbye, my beautiful wife! Take care of the house while your daughter and I are gone. I shall yearn for your loving face every second that I am gone, and I shall cry every night that your warm body does not lie beside mine," he lamented, his face twisted in a comical gesture. Yukimi giggled at her husbands ridiculous antics while Gael groaned. Though her parents were full grown adults, they still acted like lovesick teenagers! Disgusting!
"Come on Da, let's go," Gael said, rolling her eyes. She hurried Griffin forward. "Bye mother!" she called. "I love you!"
"I love you too Gael! Have fun! Be safe!" replied her mother.
Gael trotted on away from the house, turning back now and then to make sure that her father was coming. "Come on Da! Hurry up!" she souted.
Neal sighed. "I'm coming, you impatient little whelp that I call a daughter." He replied jokingly. "Can't an old man say goodbye to his wife?"
Gael laughed. "Well, first of all, you're not all that old, and secondly, I want to get there soon. The sooner I start training, the sooner I become a knight."
Neal spurred his horse forward to catch up with Gael. "Well, actually, considering the fact that no page begins the season before another page in his or her same year…"
Gael sighed, knowing that she would be listening to her father's history lessons all the way to Corus.
oOo
After another day of uneventful traveling, the pair finally arrived in the city. Gael's eyes looked like saucer plates as she stared at the busy streets of Corus.
"It's huge!" she exclaimed, awestruck by the crowded street.
Neal chuckled. "I recall that I said the same thing when I first saw the city," he commented.
Gael gazed at the colorful booths selling clothes and jewelry, and at the vendors carrying hot food. She had never thought that the city would be so amazing! (I'm assuming that Queenscove is not even close to being as big as Corus, hence the startled reaction.)
"Watch your purse Gael," her father warned. "Not everyone here is trustworthy." He eyed a shifty looking gypsy woman with distaste, and then ushered hids daughter farther down the street. "We'd best be getting to the palace."
When the couple arrived at the stables, a hostler took their horses and directed them to the palace gates.
"I'll take good care o' your mounts," he assured Gael, noticing her displeasure at leaving her horse in someone else's hands. "Ye can trust meh on that 'un, yes yeh can."
After entering the palace gates, Gael and her father were taken through a maze of hallways to the Training Master's office, so that the lord could meet the page to be.
Mithros! thought Gael. I'll never be able to find my way around here! I think that they try to make you get lost.
Neal knocked against Lord Padraig's door, and then stepped back and waited to be invited inside. After standing patiently for a bit, they heard a booming voice call out, "Come in!" Upon entering the room, Gael found it to be dimly lit, rich in color, and impeccably tidy.
"Ah, Queenscove!" sounded a voice from an adjoining room. "Just a moment, please." Neal and Gael stood in the center of the room, waiting for the Training Master to join them.
Expecting a giant of a man to accompany Lord Padraig's large voice, Gael was rather surprised by the short, squat man who stepped out of what Gael presumed to be his bedchambers. The lord's ruddy face was badly scarred, and his hair was a grayish-black cropped short and close to his scalp. He seemed to be in his forties or fifties, but Gael couldn't be sure because of the dim lighting.
"So," Lord Padraig said. "This is the new Queenscove page? A girl?"
"Erm, yes sir," Gael replied nervously, not sure if the lord meant his question in a good or bad way.
"Well, let's just hope that she can keep up, eh?" he mused.
"She's a fighter, this one is," said Neal. Gael could see that her father did no seem to be incredibly fond of Lord Padraig so far.
"Really? Well, we'll just have to see about that," the lord said cynically. "Have Salma show you to your rooms, girl. Your bags will be delivered by a servant." Lord Padraig turned his back on the two, and Neal steered his daughter out the door. Upon exiting, Neal looked at Gael fondly, and then kissed her forehead, saying, "Be careful. And never forget that I love you."
Gale's eyes began to water, and she blinked rapidly to keep from crying. "I love you too, Da." She almost felt regrets for choosing this lifestyle, (she really would miss her family,) but squashed any depressing thoughts and reminded herself that being a knight required making sacrifices. Still, she couldn't help but feeling a bit sentimental, knowing that she had to leave Queenscove behind if she wanted to purue her dreams and make her own way in the world.
I redid this chapter, like, four times, and I'm still not 100 happy with it. I think that Gael sounds kinda wimpy, and that isn't at all how I want to portray her. Remember, reviews are love!!