Chapter 10: The Winner and the End!
Almost a week had passed since the random excursion to the carnival that seconded as a 'team bonding' event for Rikkaidai, Seigaku, and Hyotei. It was now a Friday, but not just any Friday because those English teachers had finally decided to stop putting off the end of the poetry contest and gather the school in the… um… tennis courts to announce the winner.
The first teacher, who we'll just call Yamaguchi-san, semi-cheerfully said, "Alright students, we've decided that putting this ceremony off any longer will only result in us being called lazy bums, stupid, and a number of other rude things, or the finalists to kill each other off so that they would win by default."
The second teacher, who we've dubbed Jack-san, sighed and stated emotionlessly, "Since we love suspense we're going to name the winners in reverse order."
The third teacher, who called himself Akimaru even though his real name was probably Aki, laughed evilly and shouted, "Would the finalists please slowly make their way to the front of this crowd?"
Fuji, Inui, Ryoma, Oishi, Kikumaru, and Kaidoh glance at each other with bewildered faces as the students shoved them to the front. Well not Inui. He was too busy laughing diabolically and evilly at the stupidity of this entire situation.
Why weren't they in the large spacious gym? Why were the students shoving them to the front instead of making way for them to simply walk to the front? What happened to his awesome green notepad? Heck while he was on the topic, what the heck happened to his green note book?! All these questions rushed through his mind and exited out its back door just slow enough so he could process them.
Meanwhile everyone was waiting ever so patiently for Inui to stop being insane and act normal, but it wasn't working seeing as his brain was in random-question mode. After about 30 seconds Fuji and Ryoma pulled out rope and a gag and proceeded to tie and gag him like last time. Then Tezuka and Taka-san carried him off to the nurse to be treated for head injuries, or better yet to the school councilor to be treated for insanity.
"Okay… Now that that's over with it's finally time to announce the winners!" Jack-san said monotonously.
"Backwards," Akimaru added cheerfully. Yamaguchi-san wonder how she'd gotten such strange colleagues, but shrugged it off and motioned for some random person in the background to give her the sheet with the winners' names on it. The person complied and she glanced at the list.
"Alright, in third place is…" but before Yamaguchi-san could finish a person the looked a lot like Light popped out of no where and screamed, "The shinigami are coming! The shinigami are coming! Run for your lives!"
The majority of the students gave him weird looks, but since some of the students read Death Note and Bleach there were a bunch of amusing reactions. The Bleach readers cheered then gasped because that meant there was a large chance that Hollows were also coming. Then they freaked out because they'd thought Bleach was a fictional story, and the ones that assumed Hollows were coming spazzed out and were going ballistic. The ones who didn't care either way and therefore were mental sat silently cheering for the arrival of the shinigami.
Meanwhile the Death Note readers were either fan girl/fan boy-ing over the fact that someone that looked just like Kira had visited, running around asking Kami-sama to save them, curled in their chair hoping the world wouldn't end, or hoping to seem Ryuk and not really caring about much else.
It was total chaos and Fuji and the other poets (minus Inui who was at the nurses office getting check for head injuries) were sick of chaos, since they had a ton of it a the dang stupid carnival with Jack the battle-ax wielding tour guide, the ninja, the deprived dog, the angry mob, and the annoying samurai. So they pulled out their tennis rackets and… started playing tennis on court D.
The chaos would have to thin out by itself because tennis player must play tennis. Or maybe they were playing warm-up matches so they could knock out all the insane students faster?
Five minutes later Tezuka came back with a sane Inui and Taka-san. He saw the mass of panicky, spazzy, freaked out people running around in circles and his patience snapped. He could handle, Fuji's pranks, an insane Inui, Taka-san's bipolar personality, Kikumaru's hyperness, etc. all at once, but who the heck has the patience to handle an insane mob of teenagers? Not Tezuka, that's for sure.
His forehead vein popped and he laughed like Sanada during he match against Ryoma. You know the one that went "Fwanarhahahahahaha!" or something? Anyway…
"All of you stop whatever you're doing and run 20 laps around the courts!" Tezuka shouted over the mic. When did he get up there?
The regulars looked at him funny, but started their laps anyway. The other students froze and turned towards him slowly. They slowly advanced upon him with random things in their hands. You know… Paperclips, pens, pencils, plastic spoons and knives, letter openers, clipboards, cups, plates, lunchboxes, bento boxes, cookies, the usual things. Tezuka eyed the thing nervously but it was too late to turn back. He took out the black hat that he'd 'borrowed' from Sanada and his tennis racket and with the precision of… Sanada the Emperor, he knocked the objects out of their hands and forced them to do the laps because he help up a cup of Iwashi Mizu. It's notoriety a spread through out the school a few days after the volleyball incident. Everyone feared Inui and his drinks. Everyone. Then Tezuka did the weird laugh again, just for good measure and because he was secretly loving every bit of his evilness.
"Fwanarhahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!" Tezuka laughed diabolically.
After thing finally settled down, hopefully for good this time, the teachers and poets got in place again and Yamaguchi-san finally got to announce the last place winner.
"And last place goes to Oishi Shuichiro," Jack said monotonously.
"Heh? Are you sure that's right, sensei?" Ryoma muttered.
Jack turned and gave Ryoma one of those angry looks and Ryoma shrugged.
"Next is a tie between Kikumaru-kun and Inui-kun," Jack said monotonously as usual.
Ryoma got a queer look and his face while Kaidoh and Fuji tried to look innocent as if they didn't know who was going to win. Inui was about to laugh diabolically again, until he realized that it would be stupid and held it in because he wasn't feeling evil enough.
"Right so in third place is Echizen Ryoma-kun!" Akimaru shouted cheerfully. The students golf-clapped politely like the average student would if he or she wasn't loving the results of some random contest.
An attendant walked up and whispered something to the teachers, which Kikumaru heard and he whispered something as well. The teachers then huddled and deliberated what to do about the two students complaints. You probably know what Kikumaru complained about, right? No?
It was about Ryoma's plagiarism that no one considered a poem except him and the teachers.
"Due to the fact the Echizen-kun has apparently plagiarized by using the exact lyrics from a song as his poem, he has been disqualified. Kikumaru-kun and Inui-kun are now in a tie for third place, and Oishi-kun is in fourth place," Jack said cheerfully. Apparently he was a sadistic teacher that liked it when people failed to do something.
Ryoma shrugged because he'd seen that coming, but he freaked out when some random classmates of his ran up and carried him off stage, probably to shove him in that broom closet. Tezuka sighed and followed them so that Ryoma wouldn't be stuck in there too long. Ryoma was probably claustrophobic or scared of the dark or something equally stupid.
"Is there anything else you students would like to do before we attempt to say the second place winner?" Yamaguchi-san asked grumpily. The students shook their heads.
"Are you guys, and girls, sure…?" Jack asked.
The students nodded. Jack grinned and the students knew instantly that is was a trick question.
"Alright, it's time for an intermission! First, there will be a completely random tennis match between Momoshiro-kun and Kaidoh-kun. Maybe then they'll finally stop arguing every chance they get! After that is a song from Atobe-kun and finally we'll have a water break," Akimaru said evilly, but in a cheerful way.
Some of the students groaned, dropped on their knees, and shook their fists at the heavens. Others stared blankly at the teachers, while others gather around Court B to witness the match between Kaidoh and Momo that was bound to take a really long time. Still others, fangirls mostly, got all hyper because Atobe was being random.
Fuji and Kaidoh stood there wordlessly for a moment. Kaidoh blinked nervously and after apologizing to Fuji for 'helping the evil teachers' he ran off to attempt to beat Momo.
Tezuka came back sometime later with Ryoma following him with a pissed look about him.
What is this? Did the ceremony end yet? Tezuka thought. He glanced in Fuji's direction and saw the super evil and angry aura around him and assumed there was an intermission of some sort.
"Another interruption, Fuji-senpai?" Ryoma asked in an apologetic tone.
"Saa, I swear those teachers are doing all of this on purpose!" Fuji grumbled.
"Well… Wanna play a match since we know Kaidoh and Momo are going to take for ever to finish?" Ryoma asked in an extremely bored tone.
"Saa, sure why not? It's not like I have anything better to do…" Fuji sighed.
Tezuka stood there as they walked to court D for their practice match. He wanted to play Ryoma and Fuji, but he couldn't abuse his powers as the captain. So Tezuka decided to watch their match and if time was left he'd play some serious tennis.
In the end Momo and Kaidoh's match ended in a tie, while Fuji won the match against Ryoma by just a few points. So Tezuka didn't get to play. Poor Tezuka… He was so looking forward to it.
Then Atobe sang his song. The teacher thought it would be funny to force him to sing Valentine Kiss, but their plan backfired when the fangirls went insane. By the end of the song, the tennis regulars were all laughing extremely hard. Not only was Atobe singing and dancing (he'd come up with an original dance for the song, or so he said) he was also dodging fangirls all while keeping to the beat of the song. It was hilarious. Not even Tezuka could stop his laughter. Kikumaru was on the ground in hysterics along with Fuji and Oishi.
Momo and Taka-san were just barely staying up. Tezuka was chuckling heartily with Inui behind him laughing as he wrote down the 'new data on Atobe's idiocy.'
Several long moments later, everyone had regained their composure and the poets were ready to hear the results.
"Alright, alright that enough screaming and yelling. Is everyone calm and somber?" Yamaguichi-san asked
"Yes? Good! Now for the second place winner… It is…" Jack-san said.
The students leaned forward in anticipation.
"The second place winner is…" Jack drawled.
The students lean forward further.
"He is…" Jack drawled.
Some of the students fell over and knocked over other students. This caused Fuji's patience to snap and he glared at Jack and said angrily, "For goodness sake, just tell us who won so we can do something productive like going home to do our homework or playing tennis!"
The regulars nodded in agreement and they all glared angrily at the teacher. Taka-san even picked up his racket and went into Burning mode to exert even more pressure on the teachers.
"Fine, fine. Second place goes to Kaidoh Kaoru. Leaving Fuji Syuusuke/Shuusuke in first place. Congratulations you two! You've won!" Akimaru said cheerfully.
Fuji and Kaidoh were taken back for a moment and glanced strangely at each other. Then Kikumaru glomped Fuji and congratulated him on winning, while Tezuka looked disappointedly at Ryoma who lost because of plagiarism.
Kaidoh was disappointed that he'd lost to Fuji-senpai, but realized that there were probably more people that like Fuji for some strange immoral reason and that people didn't like him much at first because he gave a scary impression to almost everyone he meets. This made him sad. But then Kikumaru glomped him and complemented him on how well he did and Kaidoh felt better. Momo said he'd definitely beat Kaidoh some day and Kaidoh countered with a "Yeah right! In your dreams, Baka."
In the end Tezuka never got to play a singles match with Fuji or Ryoma, and Inui never found his green notebook.
Inui learned that despite his evil concoctions, he still had fans. Oishi learned that emoish fish poems were not the way to go when entering a poetry contest, and Kikumaru learned that killing cough choking Ryoma with his glomps was a great way to invoke panic and chaos, and they all learned that poetry contests were annoying and that the carnival is a fun place to be if there are no samurais or axes at the one they decide to go to.
Oh the joys of learning, ya know? Oshitari learned that being Mukahi's friend ment sometimes you get stuck with weird things, while Niou figured that Yuu the dog has been taken care of by only people with Yuu in their name (Oshitari Yuushi and Yagyuu Hiroshi).
It's been great!
Yeah… It's been a great several months writing this fanfic. It didn't turn out to be epic. And took forever to type out because I was so lazy, but I enjoyed the experience… Sort of. Kinda sad that it over already. I never did come up with poems for some of the characters because of Poet's block, the poetic equivalent of Writer's block. And I 'm sorry I didn't, but then again… I probably will eventually in some other fanfic.
Well the final vote stats are really close!
Fuji: 6
Kaidoh: 5
Kikumaru: 1
Ryoma: 2
Inui: 1
There… This fanfic is finally over. I'm gonna miss typing it's randomness…