Zell-Chan: Welcome to the third installment of Ask A Host brought to you by the fangirlqueen herself …ME! I hope you all have had a wonderful time and have healed since the last show where we saw the beginnings of a relationship between Kyoya and Tamaki.

"I can have you killed you know that right?" Kyoya glares.

Zell-Chan: You should be glad I haven't written a yaoi…yet(giggles) Ok lets start off the show with some questions while we wait for them to come out the closet. (Can feel an icy cold glare aimed directly at her but ignores it) this question comes from one of my favorite reviewers…if only I could reply and say thanks I would be much obliged, but here's the question:

Gigi0203

here's a question for kyouya...what IS your IQ? do you have ambitions for ruling the world one day? because you remind me of Cesar. And Alexandar the Great. What's your favorite book?

here's one for haruhi...what's YOUR IQ?

here's one for the twins...ever thought of auditioning of a double mint gum commercial? just for the heck of it? If you've never seen mass produced clothing before, the you must have your clothes taylor made just for you...how big IS your family's clothing line?

for tamaki...do you read shakespear? what about browning? emily dickenson? i know you're french, and they aren't french poets or authors, but if the answer to any of these questions is no, pick up the author. you'd love it!

for mori...how tired to you have to be before your true colors show?

for hunny...have you ever had the kitchen sink sundae?

Nice questions gigi, now lets start off with ceasar (ahem) Kyoya.

"My IQ is frankly none of your business but I assure you that my intellect is more than adequate for my station in life. I also would like you to know I have no intention of ruling the world. My family's business spans the globe and it would be far too tiresome and there would be nothing in it for me except a headache." Kyoya sighed as he fixed his glasses.

Zell-Chan: Well that was an expected answer especially if you truly wanted to rule the world you would never just come out and say it.

Kyoya glares yet again at the hostess as many girls shiver moaning "he's so cool!"

Zell-Chan: So Kyoya what is your favorite book?

"Since I read so much it would be hard for me to say exactly what my favorite book is but as of now I'm quite fond of "Servant leadership: A journey into the nature of legitimate power and greatness" by American author Robert K Greenleaf." Kyoya smirks.

Zell-Chan: (raises eyebrow) Okie dokie Mr. Megalomaniac. Lets move on…so Haruhi what is your IQ?

"When I took the IQ test to enter Ouran it said I was 115" Haruhi answers while tapping her chin in thought.

"My daughter's a genius!!" Tamaki shouts as he runs over to Haruhi and puts her in a bear hug.

"I'm not even close to genius…I'm no smarter than you when it comes to certain things…acting like I care is one of them." Haruhi says to him only to earn some tears from the blond.

Zell-Chan: (sigh) while we get the Jaws of Life to pry Haruhi from Tamaki's grasp lets asks the famous brotherly love due their question. So have you ever auditioned for a double mint gum commercial? And exactly how big is your families clothing line seeing as you never saw mass produced clothing before meeting Haruhi.

"Why would we ever audition for a double mint commercial? We're not actors." Kaoru smiles innocently.

"Though it is taking all my strength to act as if seeing your smiling face doesent bring back memories of what we did last night." Hikaru teased earning an on cue blush from Kaoru.

"Hikaru.." Kaoru whispered holding his brother close.

"Kaoru.."

Zell-Chan: Hikaru…Kaoru…Zell (sigh) now that were all introduced lets add another boy love scene to the counter and have the boys tell us how big their families clothing line really is.

"Our families clothing line is known in all 7 continents so it would be safe to say it's pretty big." Hikaru explains as he leans against his brother casually.

"Our clothes however have been made for us everyday by the family tailor since we were able to design our own clothes." Kaoru says nonchalantly.

"In fact we have a mansion next to our home that's filled with the clothes we take off everyday so that we never wear the same thing twice, it's a great place for hide and seek." Hikaru chuckles earning a glare from the hostess.

Zell-Chan: (mumbles) Spoiled rich bastards…if I had a mansion full of clothes…(realizes the camera is still rolling and puts on a smile) Well that was informative. -- Ok now for Tamaki's question. So have you heard of any of these authors?

"Such a splendid question from such a splendid creature. Yes my mere mortal eyes have beheld the works of shakespear who wrote love stories to which I wish I could live by!" Tamaki says dramatically as a spotlight shines on him.

Zell-Chan: (rolls eyes) here we go. (Gets some popcorn and sits down) --

"Oh what light through yonder window breaks! For it is the east and Juliet is my sun!" Tamaki poses earning applause from everyone around.

"You don't know any other stories from Shakespeare except Romeo&Juliet do you?" Kyoya deadpans.

Tamaki pales and quickly finds a corner to sulk in.

"Didn't think so." Kyoya says with a smirk.

Zell-Chan: did I ever mention how much I love you Kyoya? (giggles) Now it's time for the Sempai's questions. So Mori how tired do you have to be before your true colors show? And have you ever had a kitchen sink sundae Hunny?

"What do you mean? I try my best to always be sociable with all my friends. They make me laugh and mean a lot to me so there's no reason for me to act any different than usual just because I'm tired." Mori says with a bright smile.

Zell-Chan: Oo He's tired now isn't he Hunny.

"Kashi-Kun needs a nap." Hunny chirped as he handed Takashi a pillow and patted his head.

Zell-Chan: So Hunny have you ever had a kitchen sink sundae? I have to admit I've never even heard of it before.

"Hmm…I don't think so but if it's yummy and sweet I would love to try it! But not if there's a kitchen sink in it…their not tasty." Hunny bounces happily.

Zell-Chan: Yeah I know what you mean they leave a metal taste in your mouth ugh. Now time for our next questioner! Daftdanielle writes:

Kyouya, just wanted to let you know your my favorite host. Cold. Distant. Evil...at least on the outside. Once you get past that shell(which could take forever), your really like a big, insanely-sexy, scary teddy bear. If you were real, I would trying to crack your shell right now...also I would be trying to get in your pants. Why are you so cold? Were you rasied to be that way?

Takashi, your my 2nd favorite host. You don't say more then you need to, you're kind and you can kick major . Your awesome .

Tamaki. You're an idiot. Why don't you just admit you love her? OR you could always hook-up with Kyouya. You guys would make a hott couple. Of course, I also like Kaoru with Kyouya...

Hikaru. You and Kaoru have a prety sweet act. But you coold be a little less -ish.

Kaoru, you're pretty awesome, setting up Hikaru and Haruhi on a date. Even if it hurts you that you and Hikaru are drifting apart. Is your act really an act, or is it for real? Cause if it's for real, thats hott, and can I join in sometime? lol

Huni, I baked a giant sugar-cookie-cake-thing...do you want it?

Haruhi, your awesome, you somehow deal with Tamaki's idiot-ness, Kyouya's coldness, Hunis hyperness, the twins antics, and balence school work. All without killing and/or serious injuring any of them, how do you do it? And, if you had to choose between Kyouya, Tamaki or Mori, who would you pick and why?

Your Loyal and Somewhat Crazy Fangirl,

DaftDanielle

Ohhh well lets start off with Mr. cold, distant, and evil.

"What does she mean if I were real? I swear the intelligence of fangirls dwindles with every shriek." Kyoya sighs as he shakes his head and folds his arms.

Zell-Chan: As queen of the fangirls I take great offence to that! If you keep it up I'll make sure my next story is a yaoi between you and Tamaki and believe me you wont be the seme. (glare)

Kyoya clears his throat and puts on his host club demeanor again.

"I would like it to be made clear that I am not cold, I merely refuse to lower my intelligence to fit those around me. My father did not raise an idiot."

"What's a Seme?" Tamaki asks with puppy dog eye's which causes Kyoya to twitch in aggravation.

Zell-Chan: (giggles) I'll tell you after the shows over Tamaki. now for the question for Tamaki (evil grin) Why don't you admit your love? And why not hook up with Kyoya he is "Mommy" after all.

"Admit my love for who? I love all the precious beauties out there who allow me the joy to bask in their presence…as far as hooking up with Kyoya I admit I do not have a problem with men who love men.." Tamaki says with a charming flick of his hair which sends sparkles everywhere.

"Tamaki stop right there." Kyoya deadpans threateningly.

"As you can see Kyoya is very grumpy and though I love him as my fellow host and dearest friend it could never be more than that because I enjoy life." Tamaki says with a nervous smile.

"Good boy." Kyoya smirks.

Zell-Chan: For those of you who couldn't understand that it basically means he enjoys breathing to much to date Kyoya. Although now I can totally see where the leather and bondage comes from in those fanfictions between you two. (receives evil glare from Kyoya and a swat team seems to circle the building) Now for the question every fangirl squeals at the thought of. Is the brotherly love thing all an act? and could a girl ever join in if it was real?

"We're brothers why wouldn't we love each other?" Hikaru chuckles.

"Oh Hikaru.." Kaoru blushes.

"To hold your brother in your arms who shares the same face as yours as he whispers your name." Hikaru sighs as he caresses his brother's chin in a shower of roses and sparkles.

The medic team is quick to respond as many fangirls convulse from lack of blood all around in the audience and the hostess is in need of oxygen.

Zell-Chan: (gasping for air) So much love! So would a girl be able to get some time with you two?

"If she can tell us apart" Hikaru and Kaoru say simultaneously as they wink at Haruhi.

Zell-Chan: o0

"Zell is down! Get some oxygen for her stat!" The medic squad leader yells as paramedics hurry with an oxygen tank.

Zell-Chan: (a slight woozy but otherwise fine) Wait you guys never answered if it was an act!

Hikaru and Kaoru just shrug and laugh.

Zell-Chan: -- your evil you know that? Well lets continue this before we loose the entire female fan base in a shower of bloody noses.(sigh) It seems a large sugar-cookie-cake thing came with the questions want it?

The blond boy's eyes widen as he see's a large cookie-cake thingy come out on stage and passes his bunny to Takashi while he jumps on it devouring it with 3 gulps then sighs in a cute way as he pats his stomach.

Zell-Chan: Oo okkkkk. Last question! How do you handle all of your fellow host and if you could pick one which one would you pick Haruhi?

"Well it's not that hard to deal with them once you get to know each of them. I kind of know what to expect now so it's not a big deal. And as far as picking them…" Haruhi thinks to herself while unbeknownst to her all the host are holding their breath.

"I think it depends on what I need them for. Hunny-Sempai would be a great math tutor, Kaoru and Hikaru would be good for clothing advice if I ever needed it. Takashi-Sempai is very good at lifting me up when I need to get to high places, I would definitely go to Kyoya sempai for medical advice or accounting advice and Tamaki-Sempai.." Haruhi pauses.

Tamaki waits with baited breath as he bites his nails in hope and nervousness.

"Tamaki-Sempai is a great tutor for French since he is half." Haruhi smiles using her natural charm to woo half the audience.

"Did you hear that Mommy! Haruhi likes me!!" Tamaki yells

"I didn't say I liked you I said you're a good tutor for French since you were raised there after all." Haruhi deadpans causing Tamaki to slowly turn to dust in anguish.

Zell-Chan: Well that's our show for today so lets see the brotherly love count so far!

BROTHERLY LOVE SCENES: 5

NOSEBLEEDS: 400

DEATHS: 9

Good job boys! Ok that's it for now but keep sending in your questions and remember to…

ASK A HOST!

As the credits role Zell-Chan whispers something in Tamaki's ear.

"THAT'S A SEME!" Tamaki yells out loud.

Kyoya groans as he squeezes the bridge of his nose. " Baka!"

Zell-Chan: See you next time (waves)

"May I see you for a moment dear hostess." Kyoya says with a smile

Zell-Chan runs for her life knowing the smile of a demon cannot be good.