Zell-Chan: hello everyone and welcome back! (laughs nervously and scratches her head) as you may remember the last show ended with us running for our lives as the studio started filling with blood from numerous fangirls and fanboys. Luckily the studio has been cleaned and we can now resume our regular programming.

"When you wet a bishonen our sexiness doubles! Add brotherly love to that and you can cause a catatonic state! What in the world possessed you to wet us with a hose?" Hikaru yells at zell.

Zell-Chan: I was just trying to calm you two down before things got out of hand heesh! I saw you two wet and I didn't go all hemorrhaging.

"That's because you're a pervert and your used to it." Both twins deadpan.

Zell-Chan: ….OO (distracts everyone who expects her to say something to that) OK! Lets have a moment of silence for the deceased as we tally up the twins stats.

Brotherly love scenes: 9

Nosebleeds: 801

Deaths: 313

Zell-Chan: They will be missed. Now on to our next questioner! Coolperson writes:

Hi everyone! ok...first i would like to know if tamaki is ever going to confess his true love for haruhi. second, i would like to know if the twins are really gay, or is all just an act for the girls? and third, i would like to know if any of the hosts know what would happen if you light a glow stick on fire. will it just burn, or explode, or what?

Good questions, good questions. So Tamaki what's your answer?

"I confess my love for my daughter everyday! Why would anyone question it?" Tamaki asked with a confused puppy pout.

"Idiot" Kyoya deadpans with a shake of his head.

Zell-Chan: (sigh) I hope you know your making a bad image for blonds everywhere Tamaki. Ok now for the twins! so are you two really butt buddies or is that all an act to get the girls all hot and bothered?

"If Haruhi agreed to sleep in our bed…" Hikaru croons wrapping his arm around Haruhi's waist.

"…we could have a witness..or participant to put all those rumors to rest." Kaoru fishes as he wraps his arms around Haruhi's shoulder.

"Again, I don't want to know what you two do in bed." Haruhi deadpans.

"EEK! Haruhi-Kun and the Hitachiin's in bed!!" Another random fangirl squeals before she drops dead.

Zell-Chan: THAT'S IT ANY FANGIRL WHO CANT HANDLE A LITTLE YAOI WITHOUT DYING IS GOING TO FORCED TO LEAVE THIS INSTINT! (seething) do you understand?

everyone: OO

A few fangirls cower in terror and leave after gushing blood in tears for having to miss the brotherly love.

"I must say I'm impressed." Kyoya says with a smirk.

Zell-Chan: (blushing) thanks Kyoya…(coughs) I just needed to get that off my chest before we continued. Now for the last question! Do any of you know what would happen to a glow stick if it lights on…fire?

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… "It melts the plastic until it reaches the liquid then it explodes in flame." Hunny answers somewhat darkly.

Zell-Chan: (mumbles) God he's smexy when he gets all dark like that!

Everyone stares at our hostess including Hunny who is bug-eyed.

Zell-Chan: -- you heard nothing! Now lets move on to our next questioner!

I play wid fir3 writes:

Q: My sister would like to know what all of you would do if you were in a sea of commoner fangirls?

Can I have a Tamaki plushie? It's for my friend, who is constantly 'lusting' for Tamaki, and considers him to be a 'seme', so WATCH YOUR BACK TAMAKI! She pounces. XD

You know it's fangirls like that, that make it so hard for me to find a good bishonen. I never surround…I isolate . So lets have Kyoya answer first.

"I assure you I would never allow myself to be surrounded so easily, and if that were to happen I assure you my police force would eliminate that problem quickly."

Zell-Chan: Obviously you have never felt the sheer force of a fangirl on sugar let alone a group….ATTACK!

Suddenly a group of sugar crazed fangirls appear out of the shadows around Kyoya's chair and engulf him.

"What the….!" Was all that was heard of him before he could no longer be seen or heard.

Zell-Chan: Don't be too hard on him girls, gotta leave some for the rest of us. (giggles) So why don't we have Hunny answer next.

Hunny looks around nervously at the heap of fangirls where Kyoya used to be.

"If I was in a sea of commoner fangirls I would get to know them… and see if they have any sweets." Hunny says cheerily.

The fangirls surrounding Kyoya release him and rush over to hunny hugging him and giving him sweets and their phone number before they leave back into the shadows.

"What…was…that?!" Kyoya pants as he recovers only to find himself shirtless, hikie'd and his glasses crooked as he has to hold onto the scraps left of his pants to keep them up.

Zell-Chan: That sir was the power of fangirl. (motions for one of Kyoya's police force who are flirting with a few of the fangirls to quickly get something for Kyoya to wear.) While we asses Kyoya's damage why don't we ask Haruhi what "he" would do if he was surrounded by a sea of common fangirls.

"Well I would ask them why they were around me, because in all likely hood we are most likely headed to the same place."

Zell-Chan: Leave it to Haruhi to simplify things. So how are you feeling Kyoya?

"Violated,very, violated." Kyoya says while trying to compose himself.

Zell-Chan: Good,good. Now Mori what would you do if surrounded by common fangirls?

"….scary." Mori sweatdrops.

Zell-Chan: aww don't worry fangirls are very gentle the first time

"…..OO"

Zell-Chan: Ok lets move on to the twins!

"If we were ever surrounded by a sea of fangirls I would reach out for my brother." Kaoru says with a pleading tone.

"Kaoru, I would never let you go. Even if we ended up dying, as long as I was in your arms I wouldent care." Hikaru croons as he holds his brother.

"Oh Hikaru!" Kaoru blushes.

Many girls in the audience start weeping as zell just rolls her eyes.

Zell-Chan: The question was about a sea of fangirls not a sea of sharks...

Hikaru and Kaoru raise an eyebrow at the hostess.

Zell-Chan: …ok so there is no difference! Heesh! Ok last but not least Tamaki! What would you do if in a sea of common fangirls?

"My darling hostess, isn't it obvious? I would stop whatever I was doing for I know their lower class makes it so they can only witness a beauty like me once upon a lifetime." Tamaki swoons dramatically.

"Rich bastard" Haruhi mumbles to herself.

Zell-Chan: Yeah whatever, ok now answer this Tamaki.(evil grin be warned) could I play wid fir3have a Tamaki plushie since her friend is lusting for you and considers you a seme?

"If the thought of owning a miniature version of me can slake a young persons lust then I would gladly give her one, since I to know the pain of my own beauty. As far as the friend who thinks I'm a seme well…" Tamaki chuckles.

"Don't you dare." Kyoya deadpans.

"Though I have never had relations with another man after seeing and reading the Yaoi our hostess let me barrow two episodes ago I think I'm finely suited to be a seme." Tamaki smiles.

Zell-Chan: well I'm glad I could help you out. Have you decided who your going to make your Uke?

Suddenly a dark shadow appears behind Zell-Chan as a cue-card appears before Tamaki and he starts reading it.

"I would love more than anything to make Kyoya Ootori my concubine as I explore my new found seme role in life?" Tamaki asked a bit confused about what he just read.

Zell-Chan: (nervous laugh) Did it get cold in here? Well that's our show and remember to send your questions to

ASK A HOST!

I'll be going now.

"Not so fast my dearest hostess." The shadow which is Kyoya grins as he grabs Zell's retreating form.

"You wouldn't hurt a mere cat girl would you,mew?" Zell-Chan asks as a tail and cat ears pop up on her body.

"Of course not, I merely want to Talk" Kyoya spits out the last word causing Zell-Chan to shiver.

"It seems like we wont see her for a while." Kaoru sighs.

"Should we post our stats then?" Hikaru asks.

"I guess so."

BROTHERLY LOVE SCENES: 10

NOSE BLEEDS: 805

DEATHS: 314

"Hmm I hate odd numbers." Kaoru smirks as he looks at his brother from the corner of his eye.

"As do I brother dearest." Hikaru smirks back as they both make their way to a random fangirl in the audience.

"Hi" They smirk simultaneously at her as they wrap their arms around each other.

"EEEK!" She screams as blood trickles out of her nose.

NOSE BLEEDS: 806

"That's much better." They both nod.

Zell-Chan: remember (pant) to keep (pant) those questions coming! (pant) until next time on ASK A HOST! (pant)

"Where are you going? We haven't finished talking." Kyoya smirks as he yet again grabs a hold of Zell and drags her away.

"You may take my freedom but you will never take my yaoi!" Zell screams as she is dragged away until the next episode.