Thank all that is good for Christmas vacations! I've been wanting to write a holiday episode for a while now.

Zell-Chan: (Sparkling in a black and white female santa suit ) Welcome all of my beautiful and loyal fans to the holiday episode of ASK A HOST! (hands out chocolate to everyone) Tis' the season for love in Japan and for family in America so all the host have dressed up for this wonderful season and everyone seems to be in a good mood so lets move on to your questions! This one comes from twinharupairing-fanxD who writes:

hikaru & kaoru:ne ne I can tell u guys apart u know and it's really weird cause none of my friends can tell u guys apart but don't worry u won't have another fangirl trying to marry u since in the far future i'm going to marry coffin joe from 'the horrors'xD

haruhi:ne ne haru-sempai..can I call u haru-sempai??-is confuse-um ..damnit I forgot!Dx-hits her head-..oh now I remember!xD would u please end up wit the twins please ? I don't want u to end up with baka-sempai -cough-tamaki-cough-!D: and I wish I was as smart as u can u tutor me please?3and here -gives haruhi a force field-

it's a baka repellent force field to keep bakas-cough- tamaki -cough- away xD

hunny:ne ne hunny-sempai my friends say I'm exactly like u except not as smart which is of course true !xD would u like to hang out sumtimes cause it would be fun and I have my own bunny though its a momiji bunny plushie backpack . ;;.oh and was there ever a day that u didn't want to eat sweets??O

tamaki:I'm sorry to say this but u're a complete baka xP seriously wat kind of person in their right mind would sexually harass their 'suppose' daughter and try to kill their 'suppose' sons? I for one think u need mental help

kyouya:yah I for one think u're pure evil and it looks like u luv adding more to haruhi debt even when its not her fault.and y the heck are u mommy?Oo

mori:um...talk more!OOx and do u like digimon?3

Wow that's a lot of questions? Well a few are just comments so umm…what do the twins think about being considered below coffin joe?

(Kaoru and Hikaru get teary eyed while wearing elf outfits)

"And here I thought we were loved" Kaoru cries

" Maybe we were only meant to love each other." Hikaru croons as he holds Kaoru close.

Audience:………………………….(still dead from last episode)

Zell-Chan: (scratching the back of her head nervously) my bad I forgot to restock the audience. Well it seems that today's episode is closed captioned and only for the people at home's viewing pleasure! Ok let's move on So Haruhi…can she call you Haru, will you fufill her wish that you end up with the twins, and be tutored by you? Also this thing came with the package (tosses a small device to Haruhi)

Haruhi catches it while wearing an elf girl outfit.

"I have no problem with being called Haru and as far as Kaoru and Hikaru…"

Haruhi looks over at the twins who are striking a sparkling pose.

"…I don't exactly know what is meant by me "ending up" with them but I somehow doubt it will happen." Haruhi answers to the point causing Tamaki (who is dressed as santa) to run to her crying while she pushes a button on the device.

ZAPP!

"I wouldn't mind tutoring but I doubt I could really teach but I would try my best." Haruhi smiled innocently while Tamaki sizzles behind her.

"Hey look Kaoru fried baka!" Hikaru laughs.

"It seems it only works on baka's" Kaoru wonders idly as he pokes the field and doesn't get zapped.

Zell-Chan: So the next question is for Hunny.. (stares at Hunny who is dressed up as a snow bunny and Mori who is dressed as Rudolph the red nose reindeer) um..would you like to hang out with her and was there ever a time you didn't want sweets?

Hunny bounces up and down in his chair happily.

"I would love to hang out sometime! It's always fun making new friends ne? Though I think the only time I didn't want sweets was when I was in my mommys tummy."

The hostess and the host all look at Hunny and tilt their head quizzically.

Zell-Chan: Ooook….um lets move on. Tamaki why do you insist on sexually harassing Haruhi who is your "beloved daughter" and have threatened to kill your "sons" on many occasions? Do you in fact have a mental problem.

Popping out of his anti-baka electrocution haze Tamaki stands up angrily.

"I do not s-s-s-sexually harass my daughter!" He screams blushing.

"Look Hikaru Santa's blushing at the thought of touching one of his elves!"

"We must protect her from becoming another of santa's ho's!" Hikaru shouts as Kaoru joins him in holding Haruhi close.

"You meddling little devils! Get your hands off my daughter!" Tamaki yells as he moves to strangle the twins only to be zapped by the forcefield yet again.

"What's that smell Kaoru?"

"I think it's the last of his brain cells Hiakru." The twins deadpan only to break out laughing while Tamaki twitches on the floor.

Zell-Chan: Well I think he answered the mental question alright. Oi! Tamaki! Are you ok or do you normally like to smoke like that.

"What did I do in a past life to be tortured so harshly? All I want to do is hold my beloved daughter in my arms and keep her from horrible devils is that so bad for a father to want?" Tamaki pouts sexily while smoke flys off him and he brushes his hair away from his teary eyes causing sparkles to resonate everywhere.

"Maybe if you realized you aren't my father your next life will be much better." Haruhi says point blank causing a spear of despair to pierce Tamaki's chest.

Zell-Chan: poor, poor Tamaki….00 your santa hat is on fire.

(Tamaki looks up and runs around screaming like a maniac)

Oh well lets move on to our very own Jack frost! So do you love adding to Haruhi's debt even when it's not her fault? and why are you called Mommy?

"I'll have you know I am not some monster who enjoys being owed money." Kyoya deadpans as he pushes his glasses up and wipes some imaginary dust from his stark white suit.

Zell-Chan: (shivering from the coldness that surrounds Kyoya) heesh no need to be that into character! (evil grin) So why are you called mommy?

"For years I've wondered that myself…." Kyoya says as he calmly gets a cup of cold water and pours it on Tamaki much to the blonds relief.

"…but I believe it might have to do with how much I end up having to take of the club and its members." Kyoya sighs as Tamaki hugs him tightly.

Zell-Chan: (Sighs in understanding) I feel your pain man. I have a few "children" myself. (smiles brightly) so Mori…why don't you tell us some things and let us know if you like Digimon.

"…Digimon is nothing more but a cyberised rip off of Pokemon which I am a fan of." Mori says in a serious tone which conflicts with the Rudolph outfit complete with blinking nose.

Zell-Chan: Why am I not surprised that you would like pocket monsters. Most are cute especially jiggly puff and mew.

"Takashi loves mew and evee, he even has the plushies! Ne Takashi?" Hunny smiled causing Mori to blush and nod.

Zell-Chan: awww is Rudolph blushing? (giggles as Hunny pats Mori on the head) Well I guess that ends our show but first lets have holiday wishes from all the host!

"May you have a pleasant holiday and a profitable new year." Kyoya says as he pushes his glasses glare evilly.

" May you holiday be filled with fun.." Kaoru begins only to be held by Hikaru.

"…and your new year filled with love." Hikaru whispers.

"Oh Hikaru.." Kaoru blushes.

Zell-Chan: Break it up boys! This is a holiday message.

"Oh all right.' The twins' huff.

"May your holidays be filled with fun and Hitachiin clothing!" The twins grin with thumbs up.

Zell-Chan: (smacks her forehead in aggravation) I give up!

"May you holidays be sweet and your new year filled with cake! Ne Takashi?" Hunny smiles as he jumps on Mori's back.

"…" Mori merely nods.

Zell-Chan: (mumbles) I guess we used up his allowed amount of words for the year. Guess that just leaves Haruhi and Tamaki left.

"May your holiday be pleasant and your new year filled with happiness" Haruhi smiles honestly causing the host to blush and glomp her except for Tamaki who is propelled back yet again by the force field.

Zell-Chan: aww Tamaki don't you have any holiday wishes for your fans?

"May your holiday be filled with beauty and your new year filled with love." Tamaki sniffles.

"This kind of thing is pretty dangerous, I better get rid of it." Haruhi says as she throws the forcefield away only to have Tamaki glomp her.

"You really care about daddy! My Christmas wish has already come true!" Tamaki squeals.

"Baka!" The twins yell as they try to pry Haruhi away from Tamaki.

The hostess merely sighs as she joins the host on stage.

"May your holidays be filled with fun, laughter, and joy and your new year be filled with hope, and new experiences. I want to thank you all for watching this humble show and for showing your support without it I doubt I would be where I am so thank you." Zell-Chan bows.

"MERRY CHRISTMAHANAKWANZAKA SOLSTACE AND HAPPY NEW YEAR! FROM EVERYONE AT ASK A HOST!" Everyone shouts in unison as they wave and the credits role.

"Whew! Thanks everyone for an awesome show." Zell says turning to the host.

"Don't thank us yet." Kyoya smirks as he shares a look with Mori who is on her other side.

"Hey look Zell-Chan your under the mistletoe!" Hunny points.

"um..um…" Zell stutters only to be shut up from a duel kiss to the cheek and top of the head from Kyoya, Mori, and Hunny who is still on Mori's back.

"….." Zell freezes and promptly faints.

"Seems we'll have a break from doing the show until our hostess wakes up." Kyoya smirks.

"Zell-Chan?" Hunny asks worriedly while poking the hostess's frozen form.

"H…h..hap-p-py h-h-h-holid-d-d-days." Zell stutters out only to promptly faint again causing the twins to laugh hysterically.

"Happy holidays." Huruhi says shaking her head at the scene in front of her.

Happy holidays everyone!