Michael stopped and huffed in frustration before raising his voice and saying, "It doesn't matter what it was for; he shouldn't have done it! And you should be trying to make me feel better, not interrogating me!"

Debbie pursed her lips as she stood rigidly at the door, "Michael Charles Novotny! Don't you dare raise your voice at your mother! And because I'm your mother, I've got a right to interrogate you! How can I make you feel better, if I don't know why Ben spanked you in the first place? A mother's intuition tells me you're hiding something otherwise you wouldn't be tap-dancing all over the place to avoid telling me what really happened." Debbie pointed to the kitchen table, "So take a seat junior because you're not going anywhere until you spill it!"

Michael rolled his eyes at his full name, and at his mom telling him not to raise his voice. He crossed his arms when she correctly guessed that he was hiding something. And when she told him to sit down, he looked at the kitchen chairs with distaste thinking that sitting didn't sound like loads of fun. Looking back over at her, he could tell she wasn't going to budge until she got her way. He sighed and walked back towards the kitchen table, and stood behind one of the chairs. He tried to come up with a positive spin on what he had done and said, "It was all just a misunderstanding. Ben thought I was doing something dangerous, when really I was just trying to prove a point."

Debbie followed Michael back into the kitchen and grabbed a ginger snap for each of them off the stove top. Michael was speaking as she turned to hand him one of the cookies, but as he reached to acquire one Debbie absently pulled it back as she asked concernedly, "Dangerous? As in how dangerous?"

Michael let his hand drop, and looked at his mom, and said, "As in not really dangerous at all, because I was in control the whole time." He broke eye contact and grabbed the back of the chair in front of him with both hands as if steadying himself for what he was about to say. "Ben's been using steroids, and I had tried talking to him to get him to stop, but he just kept blowing me off and telling me I couldn't possibly understand since I'm not positive. And the steroids were making him a real asshole too, moody all the time and short tempered. So I did something that scared him into stopping. And it worked too, because he promised me he wasn't going to take that shit anymore." He looked back over at his mom to see how she was taking it so far.

Debbie's jaw was set tightly and the concern on her face never wavered as she listened intently to her son. When Michael paused and all that he said had sunk in, Debbie blurted out, "Steroids! I thought Ben was an educated man and knew better than to use that shit? What did you do to get him to stop using?"

Encouraged by her response, Michael said, "Exactly, he should know better right? So I got out one of the needles he'd used and waited for him to come home from the gym last night. When he got there I threatened to infect myself with it, so that he couldn't keep telling me I didn't understand what he was going through. But I wasn't going to really do it." Michael wasn't sure if that last bit was true or not, but figured it sounded better to add it.

Debbie dropped the cookies down on the table; her face contorted from worry to shock as she quickly reached over and smacked Michael upside the back of his head, "You what?! You took one of his used needles and threatened to use it on your self? What the hell were you thinking!?"

"Ow!" Michael complained with irritation clearly written on his face. "I was thinking that I wanted him to stop, and I didn't have any other way to make him!" Michael took a deep breath to calm himself down, and then looked back at the table as he said quietly, "And then this morning when Ben told me he was finished with the steroids, I was happy that my plan had worked. But then Ben blew everything out of proportion saying it was dangerous and..." He trailed off not wanting to actually say it again.

Debbie was smoldering, "Ben was right! It was dangerous! How can you think what you did wasn't dangerous?!"

Michael yelled, "Ben was right?? Ben HIT me! Repeatedly! How can you say he was right?! You're supposed to be on my side!"

Debbie put her arms on her hips as she responded heatedly, "On your side?! On your side for risking your well being to make a point? And he didn't 'hit' you Michael, he spanked you! And by the way you're reacting; he obviously didn't spank you long enough!"

Michael couldn't believe that his mom was agreeing with Ben. He had been pretty miserable and frustrated before coming over, and his mom's reaction just added to that. "Didn't spank me long enough?! I can't believe you're actually saying that, it still fucking hurts! And the part I don't think you get is that I WASN'T risking my well being Ma, the needle was barely touching my skin, and I never planned to really use it!"

Debbie admonished, "I don't care if it was barely touching your skin, barely is still too close! So yeah, I'm glad he spanked you! And I think I should help drill it into your head that what you did was really stupid! Because his spanking obviously didn't hurt enough for you to get the message the first time around! You know I still have that old paddle in the closet! I never thought I'd ever have to use it on you again! I haven't since the time you were fourteen and I caught you and Brian upstairs looking at nude mags and smoking pot when you're supposed to be in school!" As Debbie was talking, she'd stormed over to the closet and started rummaging around for the huge, thick, wooden paddle still hiding within its confines.

The blood drained from Michael's face. He hadn't thought of that paddle in a really long time. His mom had only used it on him once, but he clearly remembered it. When he was little there had been the occasional swat, and a few spankings to end tantrums, or bad behavior, but for the most part Michael was well behaved, until he had turned 14 and started hanging out with Brian. Brian had tempted him to do things that he knew his mom wouldn't approve of, but at fourteen Michael was eye to eye with his mom, and figured he didn't have to listen to her anymore. That day of skipping school had been a turning point, because his mom had decided she'd had enough, and bought that paddle to show him he wasn't as grown up as he thought he was. Once had been enough to prove to Michael that he did still need to respect his mom and do what she told him to do.

He snapped out of his thoughts and saw her half way in the closet looking for the dreaded thing. This was so far from what he had originally imagined when coming over here, that he shook his head no not quite believing it. He decided he needed to change his tactics quickly. His voice turned placating with a hint of a whine to it, "Ma, there's no need for that. You're right okay? Both you and Ben are right, and I was wrong. It was dangerous, and I swear I'm not going to do it again. In fact I already admitted I was wrong to Ben, and promised him I wouldn't do it again. So there's no need to go over it again. I'll just go home, and wait for Ben. He's expecting me home at three."

Debbie grunted as she found what she was looking for and worked to dislodge the paddle from under a mountain of assorted tools and Christmas decorations that had been stored on top of it over the years it had spent in the closet. As she finally pulled the paddle free, she examined it seeing it was still in perfect shape.

She turned to face Michael, and as she spoke, she wagged the paddle at him as if it were an extension of her arm, "Damn straight we're right, and you're not going anywhere until I say otherwise! You've definitely brought this whole mess on yourself, so you might as well stop trying to sweet talk your way out of it. Maybe if you took the time to really look at what you did as wrong instead of looking for a reason to feel sorry for yourself over getting shown you were wrong, we wouldn't be standing here having this conversation!"

Holding his hands up in a gesture of surrender, Michael backed a few steps away from her. With a nightmarish feeling of deja vu, Michael decided complete honesty would be best. As he started talking he was looking at her, but soon he was too embarrassed and had to look away. "I know what I did was wrong okay? I was angry and frustrated which means I wasn't thinking all that clearly. And then holding the needle to myself at that point was a bad idea, because I really could have been pissed enough to stick it in myself, only to regret it five seconds later. And I also know I was emotionally blackmailing Ben which isn't the nicest thing to do to your lover. But you know what? I didn't see any other options at the time. If I hadn't done it, Ben would still be using, and I don't think I could have stayed with him much longer with the way things were going. It's hard to regret something that kept us together."

Debbie nodded in agreement, "You say you know what you did was wrong, but you did it anyway? Sweetie I understand wanting to keep you and Ben together, but at the risk of throwing your entire life away? Do you think that's what Ben would have wanted? And what about me!" Tears started to form in her eyes, "I don't want to have to see my son die before me! You know what I've already had to go through with Vic and that damn disease! If you had it to..." The tears spilled from her eyes now down to her cheeks. As soon as they'd started to fall she wiped them away quickly before the feel of her own vulnerability washed her into a torrent of tears, "You were selfish Michael, on a lot of levels when you did what you did, and I have no intention of backing down now."

Feeling a lot more guilty after listening to his mother then he had after listening to Ben, Michael said quietly, "Don't cry Ma. I know the hell Uncle Vic went through, and I know how much it took out of you. How much it still takes out of both of you. I wasn't thinking about that when I did it, and you're right it was selfish. I don't know what else to say besides I'm sorry."

Debbie took a moment to compose herself as she sat on the arm of the couch. She responded tiredly, "You can say you're sorry, and by the time you leave here, I'm going to make sure you 'feel' sorry so that you never think of doing something so stupid ever again. Now I want you to go upstairs to your old room and wait for me there. I need a minute to gather my thoughts, and I need to call Vic and tell him to go pick something up from the store, so he doesn't come home while we get this whole thing over with."

Michael took a look at the front door and thought about making a dash for it for a few seconds. But he knew his mom wouldn't give up on an idea once she got it in her head, and she knew where he lived. He also knew that if Ben found out Michael had gone whining to his mother about what had happened he wouldn't be pleased. Michael thought he could make it out the door, but even if he did make it out, his mother probably wouldn't speak to him until he agreed to what she was planning.

He sighed dejectedly and looked at the stairs. He started towards the stairs slowly and muttered, "I already do 'feel' sorry." Though if he were being honest with himself he'd admit that the heat in his rear end had cooled down quite a bit since early this morning.

Debbie frowned at Michael's mumbling and responded with a hint of agitation, "Don't make me repeat myself. Upstairs. Now. I'll be up in about ten minutes."

Continuing up the stairs Michael muttered quietly to himself, "Great. Looking forward to it." He went to his room, left the door open, and sat down on his bed. He leaned his elbows on his knees, and looked down at the floor. He thought to himself, 'It's ridiculous. I'm thirty; I have my own business, and my own apartment. What the fuck am I doing sitting here waiting for my mom to come and smack me some more?' He stood and went to the window trying to estimate how far a drop it was to the ground. "Damn it, too far."

Debbie watched Michael head up the stairs resisting the urge to comment on his snide remark. For now though, she just wanted a minute to calm down and process everything that had just transpired. She was never much one for using 'tough love' on her son, but this recent stunt of his was in definite need of addressing further since he didn't seem to get the fact it was really wrong in the first place.

She knew that she first needed to center her thoughts and release her anger before she dealt with Michael, so she sat at the kitchen table in silence for about ten minutes taking in long deep breaths to ease her mind before going to the wall and dialing Vic's cell phone. It was a quick conversation asking him to pick up some ice cream. The grocery store was a good fifteen minutes in the other direction, so she knew she'd have at least thirty minutes to deal with Michael before Vic would be home. She didn't want to embarrass Michael any more then the soon to be spanking would. She glanced over at the stairs a frown fixed on her face, "Might as well go get this over with," she sighed as she headed back to the couch and picked up the heavy paddle.

Michael paced the floor waiting and became more anxious with every step. His mind raced with all the reasons this shouldn't be happening, and all the things he should be doing to get himself out of it. But it also raced with all the things both his mother and Ben had said to him about what he had done, and in the end that must have produced enough guilt to make him stay put, because he was still pacing when he noticed his mother standing at his bedroom door holding the paddle.

Debbie gave him a small sad smile, "I gather you're about ready to get this over with aren't you? I don't blame you, I feel the same way. Hopefully by the time we're done here, neither one of us will have to go through this again."

All Michael could come up with was, "Shit." Then almost as an after thought he said in a pleading voice, "Or you could believe me when I say I'm sorry, and then we won't have to go through it this time either."

Debbie grimaced as she replied, "Michael if you'd been really sorry in the first place, you wouldn't have come over here to get me all riled up and angry at Ben. Now enough is enough." She pointed a finger at the bed, "Pants down. Over the bed. Let's go."

Michael had the decency to blush, because he knew he had tried to manipulate his mother into being angry at Ben. He looked over at his bed and then back at his mom a couple of times before clenching his jaw and walking over towards it. He walked to the foot of the bed, and keeping his back to his mom he unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans which quickly fell to the floor after he pushed them off his hips. He left his boxers in place and leaned down, putting the palms of both hands on the bed.

Debbie waited until Michael was in place over the bed before she walked up beside with the paddle and said, "Pants down means boxers as well young man. And I want you all the way over the bed, not just your hands on the bed."

Feeling tears forming in his eyes already, and hating himself for it, Michael lay his chest on the bed and begged, "Please let me keep the boxers on."

Debbie admonished, "I have to be able to see that I'm not bruising you, so no, you can't keep them on. It's not like I haven't seen your ass before. I am your mother for Christ's sake."

Feeling very sorry for himself and angrily wiping the tears that had spilled off his face, Michael looked back over his shoulder and said, "Like there's any possibility of NOT bruising me with that huge thing!" He turned back away, grabbed the bedspread with both hands to help keep them out of the way and said, "Just do it. I'd rather be bruised then naked."

Debbie shook her head putting the paddle down on the bed as she bent down to yank Michael's boxers down, "Stop being such a brat! I'm not going to bruise you if I can help it!" As soon as she'd finished pulling the boxers down, she picked the paddle back up and landed a good hard swat across both of Michael's bared cheeks.

Michael was too shocked to fight when he felt his mom pulling down the boxers. When she told him to stop being a brat he thought to himself that she had said the exact same thing to him when she had spanked him at fourteen. A few years after that spanking he could admit that she had been right, and he had to wonder, if some time would make him see that she had been right this time too. Then all thoughts were jolted out of his brain as he heard a loud cracking noise and felt sharp burning pain all over his butt. He let out a loud, "Fuck!"

Debbie didn't say a word but instead landed swat after swat to Michael's bottom.

Michael couldn't believe the difference in pain from what Ben had done to him to what his mom was doing to him. It was unbelievably painful, and Michael found it impossible to stay still. His whole body jerked with the swats, his knuckles turned white with the grip he had on the bedspread, his legs kicked while his butt clenched and unclenched, and he found himself yelling out uncontrollable noises of pain at the top of his lungs.

Once she felt she had his undivided attention she stated as she continued to spank, "Now I want you to think about why I have to spank you Michael. Why Ben felt the need to spank you! And once you've figured all that out, I want you to tell me how in the world you can think you don't deserve every bit of it."

His mother's words barely registered over the sounds and pain. "Aaaahh! Ma, Please! Stoooop! I'll agree to anything you say! Just stop!!"

Debbie growled in response, "I don't want you to just agree to anything I say Michael! I want you to understand why you really needed a spanking in the first place!"

"I do understand! I do! I know it was stupid, and dangerous, and selfish! I know! I'm sorry!"

Debbie slowed and lightened the impact of the spanking as she replied, "If you knew, why would you come over here to try and get me angry with Ben for doing the right thing by you?"

Michael was able to catch his breath a little and form more of a coherent thought when the pace slowed down some and said, "Because I was feeling sorry for myself, and I wanted you to tell him not to do it again!" After this confession Michael started crying hard both from the continued pain and the guilt.

It broke Debbie's heart to hear her son crying out so distraughtly. She gave Michael six more swats before she stopped spanking feeling Michael had had enough. She laid the paddle down on the nightstand and sat beside him on the bed as he cried. She gave his arm a small squeeze, "Oh sweetheart, I know what Ben, and hell, what I also just did wasn't fun for you, but you know we did it out of love don't you?"

Very relieved that it was finally over, Michael tried to take some deep breaths to calm down, but found he couldn't stop crying that quickly. His butt throbbed with every heartbeat, and his mind kept screaming at him that he really did deserve what he'd gotten. He felt his mom sit next to him, and squeeze his arm. He was crying too hard to answer, but he nodded, because he did know that she and Ben did love him. He just wasn't sure he appreciated the way they were showing him that today.

Debbie gave Michael a moment to cry and get himself together before she spoke again as she rubbed his arm soothingly, "It's all over now hunny, and I want you to know I forgive you okay?"

Michael felt somewhat comforted by his mom's words and was finally able to get himself under a little bit of control. He pushed himself up to a kneeling position long enough to pull up his boxers and wipe some of the tears off his face. He looked at his mom for a second, and then couldn't help himself from leaning in and resting his head on her chest and hugging her. There were still some tears coming down his face, but he was able to say a broken, "I'm sorry."

She whispered down to him, "I know you are," as she hugged him back tightly. As Michael rested his head on her chest she comforted him the best way she knew how by giving him a kiss on the forehead and smoothing his now disheveled hair back away from his teary-eyed face.

More comforted than he would like to be by the familiar feel of his mother's kiss, Michael found it easier to stop crying. After a few minutes he was back in control of his emotions and let her go. He couldn't quite look her in the eye, and instead pushed on the bed to stand up, and leaned down pulling his jeans back on.

Debbie stayed seated until Michael had gotten his pants pulled back up and situated. Once he had finished, she got up and went to him giving him another hug before placing a hand on each of his cheeks to raise his eyes to look at her again. When their eyes met, she smiled at him and said, "Hey, why don't you go wash your face, and then you can come downstairs and we can enjoy some of those gingersnaps and milk before your Uncle Vic gets home and eats them all."

When their eyes met, Michael could see the love and forgiveness in his mother's eyes. He nodded once and said, "Okay."

He headed off to the bathroom and splashed some water on his face a couple of times. Once he had dried off he put both hands back to rub at his rear for a few seconds, and groaned at how much it hurt. He took a deep breath and went down to the kitchen to see his mom. She had put a plate of cookies and a glass of milk on the table for him, and she was sitting in the seat across from his with her own plate and milk. He walked over to the table, stood next to his spot, and took a cookie to eat.

Debbie couldn't help a small smirk from the fact her son had opted not to sit down under his current condition. She decided quickly that she wouldn't tease her son over it since she knew how sensitive he was. She figured avoiding any more conversation on the topic would likely make Michael feel better, so she asked, "So you said earlier Ben was expecting you home at three? I thought the service wasn't starting until five?"

"He wanted to take me out for a late lunch before the service started. He was trying to be nice to me after... you know." Michael put a large bite of cookie in his mouth so he wouldn't have to say more.

Debbie smiled, "He does really care about you doesn't he?"

Michael took a swig of the milk and decided his mother was right. And the thing he wanted more then anything right now was to be home with Ben. He said, "You're right. I think I want to go home."

Debbie's smile grew as she got up to hug her son goodbye, "Alright hunny, you take care and tell Ben I said hi." And as an after thought she stated, "And don't you dare go doing anything so stupid again, or I'll give Ben that paddle to take care of you."

As Debbie finished speaking Vic walked in the door carrying an arm full of groceries. He saw Michael and said, "Hey Michael! Are you coming over to join us for the I Love Lucy marathon?" After seeing the ginger snap crumbles on the two plates on the table he added jokingly, "Or did you just come over to eat up all my cookies."

Michael gave Vic a small smile and said, "Hi Uncle Vic. I just stopped by to say hi to Ma, but once I smelled the cookies I couldn't help myself."

He turned back to his mom and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Bye Ma. I'll see you later." He headed towards the door thinking that he'd never give his mom or Ben a reason to spank him again, because no way was he going to let his mom hand over that paddle.

Ben had been worried all throughout his lecture about Michael's reaction over their 'talk' this morning, and so he asking his TA to take over his last afternoon class. He wanted to get back to Michael and be able to talk to him more before their late lunch date at three. As he headed over to his bike, he looked at his watch, 1:15PM it read. 'Good,' Ben thought, 'That'll give us a little bit more time to talk in private before going out in public to dine.'

It didn't take him long to get home, and his heart sank as he walked in the house to see that it was empty. Michael was gone. Ben sat down at the table letting the fact that he could have just lost Michael for good after what he'd done. He stared at the small lines in the table trying to comprehend what life without Michael would be like if he had left him.

Michael had an unpleasant bike ride home, and for once in his life wished that his mom lived closer. By the time he got home he was more then happy to get off the bike and stop moving his legs around which chaffed his sore ass. He opened the door to the apartment and saw Ben sitting at the kitchen table. He felt a rush of love for him and gave him a big smile. "Hey. What are you doing home?"

Ben spun around at the sound of Michael's voice overjoyed that he had come home, "Michael! I thought… I'm so glad to see you!" He rose from the table and went to Michael giving him a tight squeeze. He continued hurriedly trying to spill out what he wanted to say, "I was so worried! I had to come home to see if you were okay. And I wanted to say I'm sorry, and maybe I reacted a bit to hastily this morning. I hope you can forgive me?"

Michael hugged him back tight for a few seconds while he thought about what Ben said, and about everything that had happened since this morning. He let go of Ben, and took his hand. He pulled him over to the kitchen chair he had been sitting in and gently pushed him to sit down again. Once he was sitting, Michael sat down in Ben's lap and rested his head on Ben's chest. "I was pissed this morning. But I've had some time to think, and as much as I hate to say it, you were right. There's nothing to forgive."

Ben smiled as he wrapped his arms around Michael lovingly and kissed his cheek, "I was so afraid of losing you. I don't know what I'd have done if you had left me. You're a bigger person than most to be able to say that Michael." His smile broadened as Ben pulled Michael in close to give him a passionate kiss, "I guess that's just another reason I love you so much."

Michael kissed back and then said, "I love you too."

After a small pause Michael said, "Ben? Can we just stay here until it's time for the service? I really don't feel like going out. I just want to stay here with you."

Ben smiled answering, "Of course we can." Ben picked Michael up and carried him into the bedroom gently laying him down on the bed as he leaned over to kiss him and crawled on the bed next to him. He pulled Michael in close holding him and looking down at him adoringly, "You do realize passing up sushi means bean burritos or a bowl of cereal are our only other options since we haven't gone grocery shopping all week," he joked.

Michael rolled onto his side, smiled at Ben and said, "Cereal sounds great as long as you're here with me." He pulled Ben for another kiss and then said, "What I really think I'd like to do is to take a little nap. I'm tired."

Ben reached over to set the alarm for three thirty and cuddled up beside Michael with a content smile plastered across his face as the two drifted off to sleep peacefully together.