Part Eight: Silent
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"You're late."
"Yeah," Reno sank down into the chair next to Rude and grabbed his partner's coffee mug, taking a long swallow. He hadn't been able to go anywhere after Cloud had left last night—not back into the bar, not home, not even over to Rude's place to bitch and moan. This whole thing with Cloud wasn't exactly something he could just talk about, after all, and, besides, he just hadn't felt like talking to anyone about anything after that. The whole thing had been perfect, just fucking perfect, how Cloud had been so…just… Reno sighed and pushed the half-full cup from one hand to the other. He glanced at Rude out of the corner of his eye. "Long night."
"Uh huh."
Reno snorted. "Don't give me that shit, yo."
Rude shrugged and tugged his coffee cup out of Reno's hands, taking a sip for himself and setting it down on his other side, out of Reno's easy reach.
Reno smacked Rude in the shoulder. "Didn't your momma ever teach you to share?"
Another shrug.
He smacked Rude again, because it made him feel a little better. "Rufus real pissed off I didn't show this morning?"
Rude adjusted his tie, took a sip of coffee. "Don't really know."
"Huh," Reno leaned his chair back on two legs, propping his knees against the table edge. He shouldn't have been late, wouldn't have been either if he hadn't finally stumbled back into his apartment around daybreak and actually managed to fall asleep. For a couple hours anyway. He chewed the corner of his bottom lip. "Think he'll still let me fly him down to Kalm?"
Rude shook his head.
"Bullshit. He can't be that pissed. Who the hell's he gonna get to fly for him? Tseng?"
Rude shook his head again.
"Elena?!" Reno scowled, his face the very essence of 'pissed off.'
Rude cleared his throat, adjusted his glasses. "Mission's cancelled."
"Oh." Reno's chair smacked back down on all fours with a loud bang, and he leaned over, propping his chin up on his elbows. "Why didn't you just say so in the first place, man? Would'a saved me some serious psychological damage."
Rude grunted apologetically.
"Yeah, yeah, I hear you. Why'd he cancel anyway?"
"Had to make a trip over to Edge."
"Take Tseng?"
Rude nodded.
Reno shoved himself to his feet, blinking away a surge of exhausted dizziness and leaning down to take one last gulp of Rude's coffee. He could hear a couch calling his name somewhere in the distance. And why not? Rufus wouldn't be back for a while, and he didn't have anything to do around the office. Why pass up such a great opportunity to nap on the job? Giving one last smack to Rude's shoulder, Reno headed for the door with a simple, "Later, partner."
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Cloud ran a rag across the surface of the bar, only half-listening to Tifa's chatter as she pulled chairs down off tables, set out napkins and coasters, salt and pepper, condiments, and anything else she thought people might want, and just generally got the bar ready for opening. He was tired. He hadn't been able to go back to sleep once he'd gotten home the night before. Everything had been too clear, too real.
The taste in his mouth…
No amount of teeth-brushing or searing alcoholic beverages had been able to wash it away. It had still been there, in the background, a reminder. Or some kind of condemnation.
"…don't you think, Cloud?"
"Huh?" Cloud looked up, rag freezing on the bar.
Tifa sighed and dusted her hands on her pants, crossing the room to lean over the bar just in front of Cloud. "Are you all right?"
Cloud looked down, moved the rag in a slow circle across the black surface. "I'm fine."
"Uh huh," Tifa said. "Which is exactly why you're more interested in wiping down this already-clean bar than in talking to me."
Cloud didn't answer; he just made another slow wipe with the rag.
"Cloud?"
He looked up for a second, let his eyes flicker back down to the bar. "Yeah?"
"You can tell me, you know."
"There's…nothing to tell."
He could feel Tifa's eyes on him, calm and caring as always. Then it came. "Did you sleep at all last night?"
Cloud nodded. It was the truth, after all. He had been sleeping. Sleeping had just taken him somewhere…unexpected. Dangerous.
She was silent for a while, just watching him. "Cloud…"
The door opened, and they both looked up, automatically dropping into fighting stance. The bar wasn't open yet. No one should be coming in, even if the door was unlocked. They didn't move when they saw who was standing in the doorway.
"Rufus Shinra?" Tifa asked, her voice low and wary.
Rufus smiled, and closed the door behind him. He nodded to Tifa. "Ms. Lockheart. I am sorry to disturb your morning routine, but I have some business to take care of." He looked at Cloud.
Cloud looked back, wondering. It couldn't be about a delivery. Rufus always sent Reno. Or called. Or, more usually, made Reno call. Really, there was only one thing this little visit could be about. "Tifa," Cloud dropped the rag onto the counter. "Why don't you take a break for a while? I'll keep watch down here."
Tifa looked from Rufus, to Cloud, and back again to Rufus. Finally, she nodded and relaxed her stance, smiling stiffly at Rufus before heading up the stairs.
"So," Cloud said once she'd gone. "Where's your bodyguard?"
"Outside. I didn't want things to get too…crowded."
Cloud nodded, closing his mouth on his next question before he could get the words out. What did it matter whether or not it was Reno out there? "Drink?"
Rufus nodded and approached the bar, sliding smoothly onto a stool and propping his elbows on the black Formica, steepling his fingers beneath his chin. "Rum."
"Rum?"
Rufus smiled. "The 'drink of the lower orders,' my father called it. Perhaps that's why I've developed such a taste for it."
Cloud turned around and pulled down a bottle and a shot glass, plunking the glass down on the counter and filling it about a third of the way full. He slid it across the bar to Rufus, watching in interest as the man knocked it back without a pause or a second thought. That was interesting. He would've thought Rufus would've had his Turks tasting things for him before deigning to try anything himself. It wasn't like assassination attempts hadn't been made before, after all. Cloud took the glass and refilled it, sliding it back to Rufus and looking up to meet a pair of cool blue eyes. "So," he said. "What do you want?"
Rufus shrugged. "Reno missed work last night."
"He's not here."
"I know."
"Then why…" Cloud trailed off, looking down at the counter again.
"He's never missed work for anything less serious than hospitalization. Even booze, sex, and hangovers can't keep him away." Rufus paused for a moment and just looked at Cloud. Then he smiled. "I'm interested to see what has him so…distracted."
"Distracted?"
"For lack of a better word, yes."
Cloud looked up. "Why Seventh Heaven? Reno hasn't been here in a while."
"Maybe not," Rufus's eyes gleamed. He tipped his head back and downed the second shot of rum, sliding the glass back across the counter to Cloud. "But you're here."
"I'm…" Cloud shook his head. He refilled the glass—as good an excuse as any to look away. "There's nothing between us."
Rufus cocked an eyebrow, swirled the rum around in the glass. "And last night?"
Cloud took a step back. "Last night…"
"Yes."
"We were..."
"In a public place. On the street, even."
"Yeah, but…you…"
"Have a tendency to wander around the city late at night. Everything's so quiet then, so still. Don't you think?"
Cloud spun the bottle in his hands, didn't answer.
"You don't like Reno?"
"What?" Cloud looked up, eyes wide. "No, I…"
"You do?"
Cloud frowned, his fingers tightening around the half-empty bottle of rum. It creaked slightly beneath his grip. "I don't…I…"
"Which is it, Cloud? Love or hate?"
Cloud shook his head. "Part of me…part of me wants…"
Rufus watched him, eyes glittering in something like anger or amusement. He smiled again. "I see." Rufus rose from the stool, pushing it back into place beneath the bar. "Thank you for the drinks."
"You…" Cloud hesitated. "You're leaving?"
Rufus chuckled. "Don't sound so excited. I'm sure I'll be back sometime. You do pour a decent drink."
He left, leaving Cloud staring at the closed door in unsettled confusion.
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There were tears in those bright blue eyes. Cold tears, bitter tears.
Reno reached out, brushed a frigid drop from a smooth, pale cheek. "Hey," he whispered. "What's got you so bent outta shape?"
A watery smile. "I can't reach you."
"Can't reach me? I haven't gone anywhere, yo. I've been here the whole time."
"You have?"
"Of course." Reno smirked. "Is it my fault you don't stay in one place long enough to catch me?"
Hesitation. A bitten lip. "No…but…" Tongue flicking out, easing the sting. "I had to run. I didn't have a choice."
Reno frowned, slid closer and brushed his hands up smooth-muscled arms. "Cloud…"
Husky, soft. "Yeah."
And then Reno was smiling, leaning forward. Kissing. And they were all tongues and lips and connection. Focus sharp and soft at once. And there were hands and skin and touching, grabbing, needing. It was a hard kiss of been gone too long and want you now and never close enough. It was…
"Reno."
Reno sat up with a sharp gasp, skin still shivering in the aftermath of sensation. He blinked, struggling to see in the soft light of the room, struggling to bring Rufus's face into focus. He breathed, shook his head. Looked up at Rufus. "Yeah, boss?"
"What are you doing in my office?"
Reno grinned, still trying to shake the dream from his head. There was something…something… He shrugged. "You've got the only couch in this place, sir."
Rufus leveled a stern glare in his direction before taking a seat at his desk. "And I suppose you expect me to pay you for sneaking into my personal space and sleeping on the job."
"Hey," Reno pulled himself to his feet and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "I was where I was supposed to be, boss. Is it my fault you ran off to have a good time down in Edge?"
Rufus smiled. "Ah, yes. Strife really does know how to show a good time. Doesn't he?"
Reno opened his mouth, closed it. Glared. Clenched his fists against an irrational surge of anger. Nothing happened, he snapped to himself. So stop acting like a high school girl with a fucking crush. This is Rufus. He doesn't go in for that sort of thing, and even if he did, he wouldn't with Strife. Too much at stake, business-wise. Rufus, therefore, was just being Rufus. He'd found out about Reno's little problem and was having some fun with it, was all. Not that that makes me any less pissed off. Reno flipped a long strand of hair out of his eyes. "Dunno, boss. I don't think you could handle the kind of good time Strife's into."
"Oh?" Rufus raised a thin, ash blond eyebrow.
"Yeah," Reno grinned. "He's a little rough and tumble, ya know. A lotta back and forth. Pretty demanding, too. He definitely ain't no tame beauty like the ones you're used to."
"You think I can't handle a little…spirit?"
Reno's eyes grew wide, but the smirk never left his face. "Oh no, boss. I would never say that. You can do anything you damn well please. All I'm sayin' is Cloud Strife's a live wire. Ya can't touch it if you aren't willing ta burn. And I don't think you are. You're a little too attached to that control of yours to reach out for something that's gonna take hold of you like that."
There was ice in Rufus's eyes, glittering like the fucking mountain caps of Nibelheim, and Reno thought he'd stepped too far over the line this time, thought he'd finally pushed Rufus past that smug patience of his. Reno's fingers itched for a weapon, but he knew it wouldn't do him any good. He could never defend himself against Rufus Shinra. Still, Rufus only leaned back in his chair, finger twitching slightly on the desk, and stared dispassionately at Reno. Unruffled. Finally, he spoke. "So that's how it is, is it?"
"Huh?" Reno stepped forward this time, confusion evident in his voice.
"A live wire, Reno. Once you grab onto it, you can't let go, even if you want to. Even if it's killing you."
"I…" Reno licked his lips. Sighed. Kicked the corner of the desk. "Shit."
"No kidding. How did this happen, Reno?"
Reno laughed. "I don't fucking know, boss. One second I was fine, I was me, you know? And the next he was shoving my fucking hand down between his legs and he was crying and I couldn't, I couldn't…I couldn't not do anything and now I can't stop thinking about him. I'm fucking dreaming about him—fucking in love with him, you know, and then there's Zack and—"
"Fair? How is he involved in the situation?"
"Didn't you know?" Reno laughed again, a little hysterical, and stumbled back to collapse onto the couch. "He was in love with me."
"Really?" Mild interest, possibly even amusement.
"Yeah," Reno let out a long breath and got back on his feet, pacing the floor of Rufus's office. "That's what Cloud says. He says he doesn't love me at all and he doesn't even want anything to do with me. That it was just sex, just that's he's been so alone and he hasn't had anyone to fucking touch him in years. It was Zack, you know, Zack was the one who loved me and he was fucking jealous, Rufus, fucking jealous enough that he never wanted Cloud to get anywhere near me. And that's why he's so twitchy now, because Zack's dead. He's fucking dead but he loved me and he didn't like it when Cloud touched me, so Cloud won't…he can't…"
"Reno."
Reno looked up, stopped. "I…yeah?"
"Come here."
Reno swallowed and nodded, eyes red and hot and dry. He moved around the desk to stand beside Rufus, hands trembling in his pockets. "Yeah, boss?"
Rufus looked at him for a minute, just sat there and looked. Then he reached up, very deliberately, and slapped Reno, hard, across the face.
Reno blinked, head snapped violently to the side. He raised a hand against the burn. "Shit."
"Are you lucid now?"
"Yeah, I…" Reno chuckled and leaned back against the desk, shaking his head. "Thanks, boss. I needed that."
Rufus nodded. "You've been distracted lately."
Reno grimaced. "I know. Sorry 'bout that, boss."
"Turks can't get distracted, Reno."
"Yes, sir."
Rufus paused, considering. He leaned back in his chair again. "He's lying."
"Yeah, I know I've…" Reno's words trailed off as his mind registered what Rufus had actually said rather than what he'd been expecting to hear. "What?"
"He's lying when he says he wants nothing to do with you."
"I know."
"He's at war with himself."
Reno stared at Rufus, head cocked at an angle. "You wanna elaborate any on that, boss?"
Rufus shrugged. "You know Cloud. There are no constants in his life, nothing he can depend on. He doesn't allow himself to connect to anything, or anyone." Rufus tapped a finger on the desk. "You've been going down to Seventh Heaven for about two years now?"
Reno scowled. He hadn't told anyone about his visits to the bar. Still, he really shouldn't have expected Rufus not to knowRufus knew everything about his Turks. He shrugged. "About. Haven't actually seen too much of Cloud, though."
"That doesn't matter. The point is, it's become routine. You're always there. Tifa likes you. Even the children like you. He's become accustomed to your presence, formed an attachment to you. But attachments are dangerous, Reno. They don't last." Rufus smiled, a dark, sad smile. "So he's fighting himself. Fighting you."
Reno stared at Rufus, the information a maelstrom roiling in his mind. "That's…" He shook his head slowly. "How the hell do I get past something like that? It's fucking crazy." His eyes widened, and he…he remembered… And it all…made sense somehow… Reno looked down at Rufus, anger and panic twisting in his eyes. He grinned ruefully. "Sorry, boss, but I gotta go. Don't worry about paying me for today. Oh, and…thanks for this." He ran a hand over the red mark that was no doubt rising on his cheek, and he laughed, strolling from the room without a single word from Rufus. Rufus didn't need him today anyway, and work didn't matter right now.
All that mattered was Cloud.