Clenched Fists
Part Nine: Dreamer
Warnings: Angst, violence, issues of...consent, I guess...
A/N: I swear it, guys, eventually someone will get laid. Really.
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Cloud wasn't at the bar. Tifa said he'd left that morning after Rufus came by, and he hadn't been back since. He wasn't at the church. He wasn't even up on the cliff, standing guard over that fucking rusted sword. Reno swore and twisted the bars on his motorcycle, side-skidding it into a stop on the edge of the cliff. He didn't know where else to go. This was Cloud, and Cloud could be anywhere. "Come on, flower girl…"
Reno looked up at the sky. It was a clear night. Well, clear for Midgar these days, anyway. There was still a haze over everything, smoke and pollution snaking a film over the air even two years after Meteor went down. But the stars were out tonight, blinking down serenely, the smoke weaving glowing little halos around each one. It was too beautiful a night for what was happening down on the ground…somewhere. Reno glared. Cloud should never be in danger from Zack. It was…unnatural. Just like the fucking smoke. "Aerith…" Reno glanced at the sword, sunk down in the ground like he was already out of time. "You've saved his pretty little ass more than once already. Why not now? Why aren't you here this time?"
No answer. He hadn't expected one.
Reno sighed. "I fucked up. I know. But this ain't about me, flower girl. What's so different about this time? I know your little Soldier boyfriend's involved, but…" Reno laughed. "He's dead, Aerith. Dead. He doesn't need me anymore. Doesn't need…Cloud…"
Only silence close by, and the howling of a wolf pack on the hunt a few miles off.
And yet…Reno laughed again. Simple. So fucking simple. He should have known from the beginning where Cloud would be. Shaking his head, Reno gunned the engine and spun the bike around, flooring it to jump it down over the cliff. Much better than taking the long way down.
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He's not sad. He's not worried. He's not sad. He's not sad.
A low chuckle. Dark and warm. Sultry. Give it up, Cloudy. He needs you.
Not me. He doesn't need me. It wasn't me in the alley, wasn't…
Another laugh. You. Me. What's the difference, Spike? If you think he's not sad, you're kidding yourself.
Cloud whimpered. Twisted. But couldn't escape, could never escape. He's not sad. He's not sad. I'm not sad. He's not sad.
Oh, Cloud. Fingers through hair, soft like the wind on Midsummer's Day. You've always been sad. You miss him.
Another whimper. No. I don't. I don't, Zack.
Then why are you here, Cloudy?
Cloud went still. Here? Where was…here?
Open your eyes.
Blinking, blinking. Eyes open, but Cloud couldn't see anything, nothing but the dark and the warmth and the long, slender fingers. No. Cloud closed his eyes again, shivering, shaking, but they didn't go away. They brushed and teased and petted, and his skin was burning with fever, sweat, fever. Sticky. Hot.
Fire.
No. Cloud moaned, arched up, and there were hips over his, thighs settling into place around him, a long, lean body pressing down, down…
Cloud…
But Zack didn't matter anymore. Only the fire, crackling, sizzling, and the hands on his shoulders, the lips on his neck. Fever. Slick on slick. Tightness, clenching, bearing down on him and Cloud was inside, knew he was inside and that was all that mattered. Who cared about Zack when Reno was…
Cloud.
No. He wasn't Cloud. He was…he was…
…worried…
No. He's not. He's not worried. He's not sad. Never sad. He was…
Come on, Cloud.
Anger writhing in his fingers, his chest, his gut, Cloud snapped his eyes open, fist snapping out automatically and catching…
Empty air.
Not good enough. Fast enough. Never good enough. Zack…help me…
Don't worry, kid. I'm always here for you.
Cloud growled, centered himself, and lashed out again.
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Holy shit. Reno scrambled back out of the way of the second blow, one that would have knocked his teeth clear across the room if it had caught him. He was fast, but, hell, he was a Turk, not a Soldier. There was no way he could keep this up for long. Reno glanced back over his shoulder at the open door and the shattered lock, wondering if he should just go back the way he'd come, but…
He'd known Cloud would be here, fucking known. It seemed stupid to back off now, and this was his apartment, his space. Still, Reno couldn't fight Cloud, not fight him and win, anyway. It was one of those facts he'd learned over the years. The last time he'd gone up against Cloud Strife, he'd come away with a sword through the chest and a near-fatal case of blood loss. Reno frowned, not sure what to do. He couldn't leave. He couldn't wake Cloud up. Talking obviously wasn't doing any good. It was talking that had shifted the dream from whatever it had been to…well, thisAnd if he fought Cloud, he'd probably die—Cloud obviously wasn't in a state of mind that included holding back against an enemy—and Reno would like to think Cloud would be unhappy if he woke up to find himself standing over Reno's beaten, blood-spattered corpse.
Reno ducked and spun away from Cloud, tamping down his feet and launching himself into a handspring and back flip that carried him up over the couch and out of the immediate line of attack. Cloud was fighting blind—sleep, Reno guessed—and that gave Reno some sort of advantage. Not much of one, though. It was dark in the room, and the open door didn't let in much light. This was Midgar, after all. There wasn't much light to be had in the streets after dark.
Cloud was all shadows and lithe movements, his hair the only thing that caught the light at all, and Reno had to follow it, backing away across the room in total silence, heading for the hallway, but Cloud followed him anyway, guided by some sense other than sight or sound. Fucking Soldiers. Reno stopped moving. The closed-in space of the hallway wouldn't do him any good if Cloud could follow him without any trouble; it would only get him trapped.
Then that blond head was right in front of him, stance relaxed and easy. One gloved fist launched out and Reno dodged to the side, sincerely grateful Cloud had left that monster sword of his on the floor. Another blow, and Reno ducked it this time, but he wasn't fast enough to dodge the booted foot that kicked out, catching him in the arm and fucking snapping it, knocking him to the ground, and then Cloud was on him, heavy, far too heavy for such a small guy, and Reno was pinned and Cloud was…Cloud was…
Kissing him. Hot and hard and insistent, and Reno jerked up, tried to pull away but his arms were trapped and his fucking right arm was broken, damn it, and his shirt ripped easy, too easy, and the button on his pants, and Cloud was tearing them, sounds of shredding fabric and thighs lifted by gloved hands and no. Fucking NO. Reno snapped his head up, too pissed off to make a sound as his head connected with Cloud's nose and it looked like Soldiers weren't invulnerable after all because there was a crackling sound, a crunch, and Reno knew he'd broken it…he'd hurt Cloud…
"Let him the fuck go, Zack." Reno snarled now, fucking growled as Cloud's eyes fluttered open, blue and glowing and confused and hungry. "He doesn't want this, damn it. Let him go!"
There was blood and blue and blinking, dripping, blinking, and a voice, low. Husky. Familiar. Cloud's voice with a violet throb. "Reno…"
"No. He doesn't want this. I've done a lot of shitty things, Zack, but I will not rape him just because you didn't get what you wanted while your lungs were still fucking working. This is his life. This is Cloud…" Reno's voice broke then, and he was pleading, because he couldn't win against Zack either, not hand to hand, not like this. "We're supposed to protect him. Always…"
"But…Reno…"
"It was a dream, Zack. A beautiful dream. We were kissing and your arms were around me and it felt fantastic, but it was just a dream. I won't have him like this, not like this. Please…don't make me do this…"
A pause, a breath. Thinking, considering. Then…
Movement. A growl, possession. Lips on lips and Reno was kissing back, heat and hunger and need and blood, and there were arms around him, pulling him closer, closer, and he fucking hurt but this was Cloud and Zack and…
Shit. Reno jerked his head back, gasping, fingers tightening on Cloud's right shoulder, shoving back while his right arm lay limp and aching against his side. Aerith. Come on, babe, help me out here. He's gone. Just gone, and I don't know how to get him back.
An answer this time, and Reno felt triumph easing up inside him. A breath of wind like the first day of Spring, warm with a tinge of ice. Friendship and sadness and I can't help you.
"Fuck!" Reno shoved hard at Cloud's shoulder…Zack's…whatever. He just shoved and screamed and shattered triumph and wasn't even sure what he was screaming about or who he was screaming at. "He's loved you, lived for you, done everything for you and you can't help him? What the fuck kind of friendship is that? He can't…he can't do this by himself and I won't…please…"
Another breath, curling around him, through him, and there were words too, a breathy voice he remembered from the church and the flowers. It's not my place, Reno. I gave up any power I had over his mind a long time ago, when I helped Tifa put the pieces back together. I can't help you.
Tears. Heat and ice and Reno could feel them, and he bit his lip, could feel hard muscle and hard cock against him and he fucking wanted it and she couldn't help? Not even a little, and what was he supposed to do? Reno plucked and clutched at knit fabric and pulled, his forehead resting against a strong shoulder and Turks didn't beg, damn it, but what else could he do? When everything in him wanted to just give in, what else could he do? "Please," he whispered, lips against sweat-slick skin. "Just let me go, just…please…"
Arms gathered him close, held him tight. Tighter. A kiss to the brow, lips soft. And then they let go and Reno was back on the floor again, no skin touching his, no fingers grabbing, clutching, wanting. Everything was silence and darkness. He sat up. Cloud was sitting with eyes closed and back to the wall, every muscle tensed and shivering and Reno wanted to go to him.
He couldn't, though. It would only begin all over again.
So he stood up, ignored the pain in his arm, tugged his clothes back into place and held them there as best he could. He could just go to the bedroom and grab some fresh ones—this was his apartment, after all—but if he stayed any longer…
No.
Rufus was only a few minutes' drive away. Reno could go there. Better, easier, than anywhere else. Rufus already knew part of the story; he wouldn't ask questions or even get too worried, just patch Reno up and set his arm and give him space to sleep. Reno paused in the doorway, looked back at the hint of glowing blue that peaked out from beneath those mostly lowered eyelids. He swallowed hard. Took a deep breath. "Goodbye, Zack."