The mirror captain's recovery room is a welcome change from the fast disintegrating surroundings they have just come from, Lister thinks as he breathes in the cleaner air and makes room for the others to come through the mirror. Once everyone is out, he looks at the portal. "Now Kryten, are you sure this thing's going to hold long enough for us to haul our arses back through?" he asks the mechanoid.
"As long as you get a bloody shift on." Comes a strong Yorkshire accent from Kryten.
Lister blinks and shakes his head, looking at his friend. "You what?"
"That sounds much like Spare Head Three…" Cat says, causing Lister to jump in shock - seeing the always-stylish feline in a tweed suit, bow tie and glasses, his hair now a short afro cut.
"What the smeg is goin' on…?" Lister ask aloud, looking at Kochanski.
Kochanski is filing her nails, concentrating quite a lot on them. "Hmm?" she asks, her blonde curls waving softly.
"Krissy?" Lister asks, waving a hand about a foot away from her face.
"It appears that we have taken on the continence of our other dimensional counterparts, David." Cat says, appearing worried about the way he just explained that.
"I knew this were a bad idea, but you wouldn't bloody listen to me if I said anything." Kryten complains.
"So why 'avn't I changed?" Lister wonders aloud, still looking at his ex-girlfriend.
Kochanski looks up and blinks a few times. "Well I dunno, do I? I can't think of anythin' at the minute…" she says. "Maybe… But these nails are so close to perfect…" she says, getting distracted by her nails again.
"David, perhaps we should get along on our way, so to speak. Then we can be rid of these strange bodies and minds." Cat says, still finding it weird to speak this way. He's got his own voice, but he doesn't feel right using these long words, instead of the cut-down versions he is used to.
"Yeah… Let's get a shufty on and then we can get outta here." Lister agrees, leading the way out of the mirror recovery room.
"Prepare to die, Arnold Rimmer!" Death announces, raising his hand. He brings it down and opens it, letting two red dice roll out, onto a map of Europe. "A two and a three! Oh…"
Rimmer is sat opposite the Reaper, across a Risk board, various pieces covering it. He has a slight grin on, obviously winning. "Ooh, bad roll…" he says, dripping with fake sympathy. "Though, I do wish you wouldn't keep telling me to prepare to die…"
Death moves his units, muttering under his breath. "You will see the River Styx, Arnold…" he warns. "You have done once before, you will do so once again."
"River Styx… You named the river of the afterlife after a band?" Rimmer asks nonchalantly as he gathers up the dice. He shakes them lightly and tosses them onto the board. A five and a six; he certainly was on fire today. And that had nothing to do with the hell that the ship was becoming around them.
If Rimmer bothered to look away from the game, he would see that everything around them was going slowly. Though they are more than two hours into the game, the ship's chronometer has only gained 15 minutes. If he bothered to look up, he would see that the virus had started to eat away at his bunk, the mouldy Sugar Puffs long dissolved into nothingness. If he bothered to look up, he would notice, through the window, a small ship has appeared in space and is heading towards Red Dwarf. But he wouldn't look up. Not with a game of Risk going on in the same room as him. After all, he knows a lot about being in command of an army. He's never told anyone, but he was once Alexander The Great's chief eunuch - being around that grand mind, something must have rubbed off.
Rimmer moves his panzer units across the English Channel, towards the Grim Reaper's units holding off in Scotland. His own units had met their demise in Wales, fortunately taking out some of Death's main force. In only three more turns, at most, he would be declared the winner - and win his life.
Lister goes through a doorway and looks around, not seeing anyone currently in the laboratory. He signals for the others of his group to follow him. He takes a small vial out of his pocket and holds it out to Kryten. "Come on, man." He says. "Stick it in one of these thingies and find out what it's opposite would be." It was obvious that finding out what it is - currently the antigen change back into the virus once through the mirror. The virus in this side of the mirror would become the antivirus in their universe. Even Rimmer would be able to figure that out, surely - but bringing two samples was always their best bet.
"Why don't you stick it up yer backside, sonny!" Kryten replied in disgust. "Treat me like a flaming scullery maid and a flippin' scientist rolled into one…"
Lister grits his teeth and turns to Kochanski - who isn't in the room. He looks out of the room and see's her admiring her reflection and fixing her hair. "Krissy!" he snaps in a loud whisper; which is ignored.
Cat, seeing his chance to shine, takes the viral sample from Lister and goes over to one of the machines - which looks to Lister like some sort of Bovril machine - and inserts the sample. It analyses the substance through the glass cylinder and a name prints out from the attached printing unit.
"Fan-smegging-tastic!" Lister cheers.
The red craft which has just appeared alongside Red Dwarf - which although it's several thousand meters away, in relative space-terms it's about as far as your toes from the end of a pair of comfortable shoes - turns towards the giant mining ship and surveys her damage. Inside, the vast vessel is reflected on his helmet's visor, her mutilation making his fist tighten around the joystick. It's obvious to the occupant of the smaller craft, that whatever is causing damage must be stopped before the damage is too much for the structure to handle and it breaks apart. He starts keying commands into the console in front of him.
How's it looking so far?