-1Meet the Past: Chapter 17!!!!!
Disclaimer : I own nothing,!!!
Finally a decent chapter
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Bella Pov:
" Bella, why are you crying? " He said softly. I sat up and wiped the tears away from my eyes. " Ryan, I am so confused I don't know who I am anymore. Or who I should be…" I replied as I choked down the tears. " You don't have to pretend to be anyone , just be who you are right now." Ryan's hands wrapped themselves around my arms. " I love you, but if you don't feel the same I wont hold it against you nor will that change my feelings. And I don't wish for you to be try to become someone your not for me or Edward." he concluded lightly.
" I wish I could be myself…. I feel like two different people….one side wants you….and the other wants….Edward….but I don't know what I want…..I wish I did…I know its unfair to both of you…." " I don't mind, I wont lie and say that I don't want you to choose me, but I don't want you to regret anything so take your time." With that he got up and left the room.
I wish I could have given him an answer…. . There was no question I loved them both. The real question was who did I love enough to live without the other? But how long was I going to live? I would have to make a decision soon. A couple of months I would turn Sixteen and then I would have a year left. Could I make a decision then? I could be dead before 17.….that was probably a bigger possibility. It seems that my past self was a danger magnet also. Great.
I grabbed a pillow and wrapped my arms around it. Sigh. I am exhausted….its only 6 pm. Maybe if I closed my eyes for a bit….
Bella's dream
I was in my house…..Charlie's house? The one I lived in Forks? What was I doing here? I cant be really here could I ? " of course you can silly…you can be anywhere I send you.." I was startled because my ghost was standing right behind me. " What are we doing here?" I asked " We are talking" she answered simply " why cant we talk like we used to I missed you" I said hugging her " We can still talk but not that way….because I am no longer a ghost ….I am just a memory….a memory inside of you…..a little voice inside your head…..a muse perhaps…" she laughed warmly twirling a piece of my hair. " are you the reason I feel like two people?" I asked " very perceptive….yes I suppose so…. I am the memory of the Bella that lived before the Bella that lived in Forks…."
" Then am I the Bella that loves Edward?" She smiled " Yes. And I am the one who loves Ryan…I am sorry. I know that doesn't help you much and when your feelings are filled of love when your with Ryan your body becomes me in a way…" " So we share a body?!?" I gasped shocked but she remained the same posture…. " Its mostly yours….like when you were with Edward in his room…..that was all you dear…"
I blushed. " You saw that…" I murmured. I was embarrassed that she saw me and Edward practically all over each other…knowing this….would make me feel even more guilt…..knowing that she had to watch me love Edward when she loved Ryan….. " I see everything…and I know you love him and I regret making you feel guilt when your with him….I am also sorry that I make you love Ryan." she admitted. " I forgive you….I m actually relieved I thought I was going mad…. I have to tell him….both of them…I have to tell Edward that I only feel love towards Ryan because of your feelings…. And tell Ryan about us sharing a body." I knew this wouldn't solve everything but it was a start. " Ill tell Ryan….if you don't mind lending me your body…?" she proposed " lend my body?" I hesitated
" It wont hurt you will just be a 3rd party is all it will be like watching from a different angle…." she suggested politely and hopeful. " Alright….I trust you…..but I want it back…" she laughed at this " Bella, I am not going to steal it! I promise to give it back." I also laughed with her and she pulled me to her tightly in a promise hug. Her lips slid to my ear and whispered " thank you Bella…..you have to wake up now…..I will always be protecting you….if not in body then in soul…." I sighed feeling a great deal of comfort in her voice and everything went into a bright shinning light.
PresentTime: ( 7: 24 pm )
I jumped up gasping. And glanced at the clock I and realized how my short nap gave me the answers I needed….