A/n: This one is just as depressing, if not more, as the other chapter. Face it, most of this story is going to be depressing. Ah, anyways, I love the reviews! They keep me writing!! Without further ado...chapter 4!! ((Its a little longer!))

I struggled up to the door. It was hard to walk in wet jeans.

I opened it to find my Dad pacing nervously on the floor. When I walked in he threw his arms around me, not caring I was soaking wet.

"Miley! Thank God! I thought something had happened to you!"

I felt sort of bad then.

Something hadn't, but it would.

He realized I was wet, after he was already wet too.

"Why are you wet?"

"Jackson didn't come." I mumbled. His eyes flashed dangerously,

"Where is that boy?! When he gets here...I swear..."

I was itching to get upstairs. I wanted to go to sleep. The rain had settled down but the sounds of it dripping off the trees and roof were unbearable.

Tomorrow we were going down to the dock in LA where I was to board the ship. The cruise was for four months.

I could do it the first day on the cruise.

The sooner all this ended, the better. If I didn't go to the orientation meeting that night, no one would know I came. They wouldn't report progress to my family. My family wouldn't have to know.

It was all too perfect.

I struggled up the stairs, slowly. I could feel Daddy watching me sadly. I walked into my bed room and shut the door before fighting out of the wet jeans and sweatshirt. I flung them on the carpet, not caring that it was soaking my floor, and put on a pair of sweatpants and tanktop. Then I collapsed on my bed and fell into a deep, sleepless slumber.

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I woke up with the sound of someone talking to me. I opened one eye and saw Jackson kneeling beside my bed, with his hands folded over on the side. He was praying. He thought I was still asleep. I saw my alarm clock flashing three A.M. out of the corner of my eye. What was he doing in here?

Curious, I shut my eye again.

"--and I'm sorry I hurt my sister but, God, if you could just help her...I'll try harder to be a better person. I've tried every way to help her but...nothing works. I've tried being extra nice, I've tried being straightforward...God, I even tried being mean about it. Nothing works. I understand for you to help someone they have to want to help themselves but...can you make someone want to get better? Can you make someone take joy in living again? How can she forget him? He's everywhere...on the TV...in the newspapers...and God, I lied to her. He's called the house about five hundred times over the last two years. We, as in me and Dad, haven't been telling her or giving her the phone. It would only hurt her in the long run. I even snuck out last year and went to go find him...I thought it would make her better...but she can't rely on him like that! I thought...if we separated her from him for a while...she would forget him and move on...obviously not. If only there was a way, you could...make her not be in love with him. I know that's impossible, but what else can I ask you to do? I'm not asking for a mountain here...I just want my sister to be okay...I prayed for my Mother too, but you still took her. Is this going to be like that? Is my sister going to get ignored too? Surely you can see a way to help her...just...can't you do something? Anything...? Maybe help her get over Jak--

I stopped listening. I blocked out the sound of him talking. I didn't want to hear it. I couldn't.

Didn't Jackson know there was nothing he could do?

Even if he...did...co--

No. I won't think like that. I can't. I mustn't. I wouldn't.

I fell back into fitful slumber after that. One that involved Jackson and my Mother.

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"Miley...Miles...Mile..." I heard someone calling my name. Birds were chirping. I could feel the sun warm on my skin. I opened my eyes. Daddy was standing over me.

"Hey bud, you need to get up and finish packing. We're leaving here in a few hours."

I nodded numbly and climbed out my war, bed. Was last night a dream? Was Jackson really in here?

I couldn't tell dream from reality.

As if still asleep, I changed into clothes and my Hannah wig. Then I walked to my Hannah closet and tossed clothes in the suitcase. I randomly grabbed them and tossed them inside the large suitcase. I grabbed bathroom essentials and threw them in. I poured my makeup out from my makeup drawer into the bag.

It was all one big mess.

Like my life.

I shoved my many, many shoes into the suitcase and threw some random accessories in there. It took way too short of a time. Dad would be suspicious. I didn't care to pack right because I wouldn't be there to wear the clothes and wigs.

"Miley? Your Dad told me to help you pack." a voice said from the doorway. I looked up to see Lilly. She smiled warmly at me then frowned at my suitcase. She sighed,

"Here, let me help you."

About two hours later, we had five suitcases. Two full of clothes, one big one full of makeup, shoes, and accessories. The forth had a case in it that held all my Hannah wigs in different styles, the stand I needed so it wouldn't get tangled, and tools to use if it did. The other had things I "needed" like my laptop, cell phone, charger for both, etc.

I almost told Lilly that I wouldn't need any of it. But I kept my mouth shut.

"Lilly," I called quietly. She looked up at me with a smile on her face, "thank you. For everything. You are my best friend."

Her smiled widened, "Thanks Miles! Your my best friend too."

"If..." I wasn't sure how to word it without her getting suspicious, "these clothes would look adorable on you. You should have them, you know, if the boat crashes and I die or something..."

Reaaall smooth Miley.

But she seemed to buy it, "That's not going to happen!!"

I faked a weak laugh and said, "Yep. But if it did, you have it all."

She nodded and said, "Sure, okay."

I played with the ring on my finger that my Mother gave me. I pulled it off,

"I'll be doing a lot of swimming on the pool that's on the boat...and I'll probably just end up loosing this, will you keep it?"

"You mean, keep it safe for you until you get back?" She asked as she took it.

"Yes, please?"

"Of course." She smiled.

"MILE! COME ON!!" Dad exclaimed from downstairs. Lilly was tearing up.

"Bye, Miley. I'll see you in four months."

No you won't.

"Bye, Lil."

I held the hug longer than needed. Lilly was sobbing into my shoulder when I pulled away.

"Be careful." She called after my retreating back. I just waved at her again. Jackson came up and helped me with my bags. As we silently pulled them down, I stopped him.

What do I say?

"I...heard you last night."

He stopped and almost dropped the bag.

"You are a wonderful person already." I said quietly as I hugged him. On second thought, I quickly kissed his cheek. He seemed surprised,

"Thanks Miles."

I nodded and we continued down the stairs. That was the most emotion I'd shown in a long time.

It hurt.

Dad loaded the bags in the car while I waited in the house for him to come back in and get his keys. He grabbed them and looked at me,

"You coming darling?"

I nodded and we started walking out. I stopped him,

"Dad, wait..."

He turned around. I threw my arms around him. He hugged me tightly and I breathed in the scent that was familiar to me since I was a baby.

"I love you, Dad."

And for the first time in two years, I actually felt something. A slimmer of sorrow fought through my wall that I had spent so long building.

"I love you too, bud." He seemed surprised at my show of emotion.

The hole was tearing itself up more. It hurt so bad I felt as though my heart was getting cut up slowly with razor. I could almost see the long, deliberate slices and it tore at the muscles. Blood was squirting every where...pain was shooting through me...

And before I knew it...I was in the car on my way.

Goodbye.

a/n: props to xHellox and He Breaks My Heart Everytime for knowing the song (Never Let This Go by paramore) in the last chapter!! And yes, this story is depressing and also OOC...lol.