Theme #25 – fence.
Disclaimer: same as before.
Thank you all for the reviews. I appreciate them so much. It's good to have feedback and to know that people out there enjoy my writing.
For the people who asked me questions:
XXDragonheart6XX – The one-shots are related in the sense that they're all about SasuSaku, but apart from that, I wouldn't say they're related at all. Some are companion fics, like chapter 3 and 4, but most of them aren't going to be in sequential order. I hope that answers your question.
Lady Kunoichi – The 30 Kisses communities I'm aware of are: community. and
community. . And you can also check out their affiliates, like 30 Hugs and 30 Dates.
Mafis – the suffix hime means princess, and koi stands for koibito, which means lover or love. Or sweetheart.
My pathetic attempt at writing some mild angst. Try not to cringe so much. Slight AU. Possible OOC? ALSO. READ THE A/N. (at the end.)
---Lies---
She was twelve when he first left.
It was a chilly night, made even colder by the careless way he threw his words at her, as cold as icicles, cruelly piercing her young girlish heart. Oddly enough, it wasn't until then that she realized just how important he was to her. Everyone in the village knew of Sakura's obsession over the Uchiha prodigy, but they merely dismissed it as an infatuation with his looks and abilities.
In the back of her head somehow, she had thought that way as well.
But on that night, Sakura was finally able to comprehend the idea of how dismal her life would be without him in it.
Despite his cold silence and brutal words, she couldn't imagine not waking up every morning and hurriedly rushing over to the bridge to greet him. She couldn't fathom not being able to ask him out everyday, even if her advances were aloofly pushed aside. As she stood there before him, eyes brimming with tears, futilely begging him to stay, Sakura realized that he was her most precious person.
And as her fragile heart began to crack, she realized just how deeply she had fallen in love with him.
-----------
Three years passed before she saw him again.
In person, that is.
For he never strayed too far from her thoughts. At night, she dreamt of him so often that after a while, she began to look forward to falling asleep. She knew that was the only place where she would be reunited with him – at least for a short while.
He had changed quite a bit. Aside from his new, somewhat eccentric in her opinion, attire, Sakura could have sworn that the new look in his eyes was one that she had never seen before.
But when he turned to give her a small smile, for the first time ever, she thought her heart would burst with happiness.
It was as if all those years of yearning and sorrow had evaporated into thin air, and now, that dark cloud of gloom in her love life had at last drifted away, leaving only joy and love and Sasuke.
In spite of this, a small desperate voice in the back of her head screamed hysterically that something was wrong, but she thoughtlessly suppressed it as she rushed forward to throw her arms around him.
-----------
Three years later, he left again.
This time, it was not to seek more power, but to finally end the life of the one who had ended his mother's.
When he announced to them that he would be parting ways to hunt down Itachi, she was not at all surprised. He had been training vigorously, more so than usual, for the past few weeks, and she knew that he would be waltzing out of her life again.
Even so, her heart still ached at the thought of him leaving. Leaving Naruto, leaving Kakashi, leaving… her.
But right before he stepped through the gates, he pulled her aside and pressed a small wooden box into her hands.
"Wait for me," he said, and a rush of delight swept through her, but she couldn't help but notice how blank his eyes were. Those onyx eyes were no longer cold, but instead, they had turned apathetic and lifeless.
Without warning, he leaned forward and awkwardly pressed his lips against hers. It was only for a split second, but in that time, Sakura felt her mind reel with pleasure, yet her body seemed to protest vehemently against his touch. For some odd reason, her shoulders had stiffened and her fists throbbed with an unexplainable urge to send him flying away.
She squashed down that idea and managed to smile at him as he pulled away, but no blush appeared on her face and her shoulders refused to relax.
When he was but a speck in the distance, the pink-haired kunoichi looked down in surprise at her suddenly smarting hands. From the stinging half moons on her palms, small streams of red flowed angrily down her fingers and dripped slowly onto the dirt.
-----------
Later that night, Sakura slipped quietly into her room and gently pulled the covers back before sliding in. Leaning back against the headboard, she rubbed her eyes and then stared at the glossiness of the dark cherry wood box. Curiosity finally getting the best of her, she hesitantly reached over and brought it to her lap.
She was dying to see what Sasuke had given her, but that voice in her head viciously warned her that it would bring her no good, only more pain.
She didn't believe it. How could a mere gift cause her any more heartache than she had already gone through? And Sasuke had changed. He was now closer to her than ever, and she knew that he would never hurt her.
Willingly, the voice snapped in a hiss.
Sakura frowned. What did it mean by 'willingly'? How could Sasuke unwillingly harm her? If Sasuke wanted nothing to happen to her, then she was sure that nothing would.
Smiling now, she flipped open the lid and gasped.
Nestled in a cluster of pink rose petals lay a silver engagement ring.
Complete with a tiny Uchiha crest inside the band.
Mind drowning in ecstasy, she picked up the ring and eagerly slipped it on. But as she held her hand away for further inspection, she found that despite its beauty, it simply didn't look right.
Ridiculous, she thought. How could anything from her Sasuke-kun not look as if it was made especially for her ?
But even as this passed through her head, she pulled the silver band off her finger and dropped it back into the box.
-----------
Six months flew by.
Then, on the second Friday of November, word traveled throughout Konoha that Uchiha Sasuke had been seen walking through the gates early that morning.
Sakura had been in the middle of a meeting with Tsunade about a new healing jutsu the Hokage had discovered on a recent visit to the Kazekage, when Konohamaru burst through the doors shouting that Sakura had better go home, take a shower, and put on some lingerie because her lover had returned.
Only he said it in much cruder terms.
Konohamaru had matured somewhat, but being Naruto's shadow definitely left permanent scars. He had also inherited Jiraiya's impeccable seduction skills, and the current rumor circulating through the Leaf was that he was attempting to court Ino, much to the annoyance of Shikamaru.
Normally, such remarks from the Sandaime's grandson would usually result in an emergency visit to the hospital, but today, both kunoichi were too stunned to reply.
-----------
Sakura stood, panting, in front of the Uchiha compound. Bent over, she rested her hands on her knees as she fought to catch her breath.
Looking back, she would lament that she had not used her chakra to speed her along, but at that moment, she was far too disoriented to even think of that.
Nobody was around; she couldn't sense anyone's chakra, and the one place where she used to dream of living in looked the same as it always did. As far as she could tell, no one had entered for half a year.
The gate opens when you actually push on it, came a smooth drawl from beside her.
Startled, she turned and almost smashed into the sole member of the Uchiha clan. Face flushed in embarrassment, she looked up and tried to rearrange her harried face into a somewhat pleasing countenance. Immediately, she caught sight of his bloody arm, and her medic instincts kicked in.
The romantic scenes her treacherous mind had been imagining flew out of her head, as she gripped him by his other arm and marched him through the gates to properly bandage his wounds.
-----------
Have you thought about my proposal, he asked after she had patched him up.
Halfway through rolling up the remaining bandages, Sakura froze. She couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes.
You're not wearing your ring, he observed quietly.
She didn't answer him, but stood to throw the bloody cloths away. He didn't speak again until she had finished putting everything away.
Taking hold of her hand, he asked her the one question she had been forever hoping to hear. He didn't even wait for her reply, but ploughed on to confess his feelings for her and his desire for her to be his.
But his words fell on deaf ears, for Sakura was only taking note of how those onyx orbs seemed to tell a different story.
-----------
As she lay in bed hours later, she wondered just how things had turned out this way.
Something was definitely wrong, she could no longer deny. She should be ecstatically happy. Right now, she should be chatting excitedly with Ino about the drastic turn in events and enthusiastically discussing plans for the wedding. She shouldn't be curled up in bed, facing away from her future husband. She shouldn't feel as if she had just made the worst mistake of her life.
Her despondent musings were cut short by the stirring beside her, and she flinched as his arm draped over her waist and pulled her close.
When they were in the kitchen, by the time he had finished talking, her hand had been retracted and she was situated against the very back of the chair, as far away from him as her body could possibly be. Her body seemed to urge her to flee or simply refuse him, but her traitorous mind took control of her mouth and said the very words he wanted to hear and the very words she now wished she could take back.
Once he heard her reply, he pulled her to her feet and roughly claimed her mouth with his. From that point on, it was all a blur for her. Amidst his roaming hands and their discarded clothing, the only thing she remembered was that she didn't want it to happen like this.
Not when everything didn't feel right.
Sasuke must not have noticed her unresponsiveness, and her mind kept insisting to her, even through the pain, that this was what she wanted.
-----------
Everyone knew by now what had transpired between the two.
Or at least, they thought they did.
In their eyes, Haruno Sakura and Uchiha Sasuke were perfect for each other, and because Sakura had pined fruitlessly after him for so long, Konoha was eager to see their beloved medic nin walk down the aisle into her fairytale ending.
The old ladies sighed dreamily and reminisced about being young and in love. The young girls squealed and giggled delightfully whenever the newly engaged passed by. The old men smiled fondly and reached for their wives' hands, but secretly envied Sasuke for getting his hands on such a fine figure of a woman. The young boys just stared at Sakura's chest until their mothers noticed and slapped them upside the head for such indecent staring.
And every single person in the village had personally made his way to Sakura and congratulated her on being able to snag Sasuke after all.
She blushed and thanked them, but inside, turmoil raged. She was unable to figure out what was keeping her from accepting Sasuke's advances. At least, she had deduced that the trouble did not lie in her, but in Sasuke.
Something about him set off alarm bells inside, even though her lovesick mind kept reassuring her that this was natural and Sasuke was meant for her.
Well, she still had fifteen days left.
-----------
Two weeks later, Sakura stood before the Godaime, flowing silk white dress on, about to become Uchiha Sakura.
By Sasuke's request, the wedding was held outside, in an open meadow. Half, no, more than half of the village had assembled to witness the union of the two people who they believed to be true soul mates – perfect halves of one another.
It was rather nerve-wracking, she thought. It took all of her strength to not bolt and head straight towards the Sand.
She was so immersed in her own thoughts that she didn't hear Tsunade call her name.
Sasuke gently nudged her, and she jumped. Everyone chuckled, thinking to themselves that the Uchiha had gotten himself a rather jittery bride.
Tsunade tried again.
Sakura's head began to throb uncontrollably, and she was barely able to comprehend the ritual question of whether or not she would agree to love him against all odds and to accept him as her husband.
She must have answered in the affirmative, because people began to smile and got ready to clap their hands and whoop.
Turning to Sasuke, Tsunade repeated the question for him as well.
Sakura intently watched his facial expressions as he replied, especially when he agreed that he would love her for the rest of their days.
And then it hit her.
The truth really did hurt, and this time, it came harsher than the regular old slap in the face and twist in the gut. It hurt so much she forgot to breathe; her skin was being ripped away and doused with alcohol; her body was being split in two.
As she stared into his vacant eyes, she realized that he would never love her. He could never love her. And not because he didn't want to love her, but because he couldn't love her.
Sasuke was no longer able to feel.
And her world shattered.
---owari---
A/N: Lots of things to explain – 1: I'm so sorry you guys had to read through this crap. I really have a long way to go before I can write decent angst. To be honest, I almost didn't want to post this after I finished, because I thought it just sucked like crazy. But I didn't update 30 Kisses for such a long time, so I felt I had to at least post something. To make it up to you guys, when I'm done with 30 Kisses completely (haha, who knows when that'll be), I'll re-write this one and make it better. Thanks for having the courage to read it. :)
2: I think the story might be kind of confuzzling for you. So basically, Sakura's torn between two emotions. She wants to accept him and live the fairytale life she always dreamed about with him, but on the other hand, some sort of gut feeling is nagging away at her and telling her that something isn't right. But because she's pined after him for so long, her mind is carried away by thoughts of "Love always prevails!" and she agrees to his proposal. But finally, at the wedding, she realizes that Sasuke didn't love her, because during his time with Orochimaru, he "lost" the ability to love. And so all that she dreamed of is gone, and everything he has told her is a lie, because he will never be able to love her, even if he wanted to.
3: "fine figure of a woman" is from Great Expectations. It's how Joe refers to Mrs. Joe.
4: Feedback would be most appreciated, as I seriously need improvement in the angst department.
5: THIS WILL BE REWRITTEN. It has to, I just decided. It's really unclear about certain things, and when I have the patience, I'll revise it, so it's more understandable.
6: What's coming up in the future? Well, I'll probably be writing more horrible angst. Haha no. Actually, yes I will. I need to keep writing to improve, but I'll try not to post the really bad ones here. I think the next one will have to be a light-hearted one, since this one has dragged me down into the dirt.
7: Thank you for reading! I know it was difficult, but I hope you guys aren't too scarred.
I hate this one. Poo.