Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto…
Notes: Heh… I don't have any notes. Except Thanks for all those wonderful reviews…
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Review Replies:
Blue-eyed Fox – it will not be too long, 10-12 chaps will be the longest. Hope that suites yah!
kyu-koi – sorry, if I tell you the 102 it will spoil the story right, but of course, I knew many of you had the idea on who it was… hehe
Gothic Kacie – don't die yet, I haven't finish my fic yet, so here's the second chapter
Meijer Brand – seeecreettt… -wink-
And thanks to the following who waited for the next chapter:
Shinigami - Momo
whitereflection17
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Arisu Arisugawa
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Warning: Contains Yaoi, Cursings, OOCness, Crappiness and Craziness and Silly X-Overs….
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DATE 102
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Chapter 2: A, I'm Adorable… B, I'm so Beautiful… C, Call Me Cute and I WILL Cut Down Your Throat…
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- NARUTO'S POV -
-- DAY 1 --
4:56 a.m.
Datee 001:
It has been two days since I had accepted this fucking mission. And until now, I'm still trying to figure out why I had agreed to do this. Sure, it may all sum up for my ambition on becoming a Hokage, but I really think I'm losing my marbles by agreeing in this- this- preposterous mission! I mean, who on their right minds would actually get up early in the morning just to have a date?? Tell me, tell me huh?
Oh yeah right, -rolls eyes- My stalkers now conned as Datees.
Stupid bitches and damnable bastards.
Hope they all burn in hell. And they would be poked in the ass by the pitch fork of the spawns of Satan for all eternity.
Preferably, they die before the dates, so I won't have to undergo this humiliation.
I just really hope that I got out of this damned mission sane even if barely alive and breathing. And hopefully with virginity still intact. 'Cause I know deep, deep within my heart that most of them are perverted and were just after my beautiful body. Heh.
But don't get me wrong, this mission also have its perks. It seems that the old hag was telling the truth when she said that this Date thing will stop the stalkers from attacking me. Or groping and molesting me for that matter. Ever since I left the office on that day no one had bugged me about a date or something silly like that. All they did was just watched me with hunger, lust and puppy-dog eyes (which still makes me shudder knowing that they are probably undressing me on their minds). Found out that when the applicants were signing for their name on the application forms they had agreed that they will stop stalking and molesting me. Though, I heard that most of those people that had applied and weren't accepted and had finally lost their chance to be with me had been so heart broken and cried a river. Almost made Konoha an island or so old man Ichiraku informed me.
Tsch, as if I care if they were hurt or not. With all those gropes and molests that I had endured over the past years it's a miracle that I'm still alive and breathing and not traumatized for life. Makes me wonder if I'd turned into a sadist for enjoying their pains. Heh, maybe I'm onto S&M now. –giggles-
But of course for me to find that out, I have to find out this PERFECT lover of mine, the one who is waiting to sweep me on my feet to bring in the paradise of ecstasy which involves a lot of screaming, sweating and panting.
… (pause) …
Damn, Ero-sennin. Now I'm thinking just like you. Bastard.
-sigh-
And so just like I said, it's been two days and here I am, dressed in a red body-fit shirt and loose black pants and leaning on a tree trunk (Cool outfit, I know, but I'm coooold!), one hand is on my left pocket, head bowed down and eyes closed to meet my date, per his/her request.
Freak.
In the freaky dark (it doesn't matter if I can see on the dark, it's the principle of the thing you know??) forest no less.
On freaking five on the morning.
So, yep. I have every right to be grumpy.
After minutes of waiting I sighed loudly and took the parchment from my pocket, the name is still incomprehensible. I check my watch and sees that it still has 15 seconds before 5 a.m.
15…
14…
13…
I heard a soft sound of footsteps and I figured that this is my date. I didn't look up from boring holes at the parchment, intent on finding out my date's name before looking at whoever-the-hell's face.
… 10…
9…
Vaguely, I wondered if my date is male or female.
…7…
Is he/she cute?
…5…
Do I even know who this person is?
…4…
Is he/she my age?
3…
Unable to contain my curiosity any longer, I peeked thru my bangs and I felt my eyes widen when I recognized who it was.
2…
I look back to the parchment and after a second a soft light comes from the top of it, and on Datee 001 the incomprehensible words righted itself to reveal a name.
A very familiar name.
Aburame Shino
…–snicker-
So it really is a freak. A bug-freak.
I look up again and raised an eyebrow when I saw that the normally – or is it abnormally?- emotionless boy is looking anywhere but me. I could tell that he is fidgeting the way he shifts his weight on his feet, and - is that a blush on his face??
Well, well, well… seems like that bug-boy has a crush on me.
I really have no ide--
… Wait a damn second!!
Is that the reason why there is always an annoying bug that is always following me around?? That even though how many times I killed the bug another one will come and follow me? I tried everything to get rid of the stalker bug, mind you. I even tried exorcising the damned bug because I thought it was the ghost of the bugs that I had killed and come back to annoy me for revenge or maybe it's their reincarnation and its my karma. Tsch.
And when all of my plans to get rid of it had failed, I'd come to the one solution I could think of at that time.
I smell.
Heh. Stupid me.
All that time I reminisced about the miniscule horrid bugs, I glared at him, making him more uncomfortable.
I waited for him to talk but of course being who he is, he didn't. Or couldn't? He's just standing there as silent as ever so with a huff I turn around and fish out a pen from my pocket, I write to the parchment using the bark of the tree as leverage. Hoping that the Hokage is awake and not drooling at the parchment right now.
Initial Comment:This is going to be a looooooong 5 hours- not to mention quiet…
After writing it, I carefully fold the parchment and slip it into my vest then turns to look back at Shino. I cleared my throat making him jump. I suppress my laugh that is threatening to come out at seeing him so edgy. Finally, taking pity on him, I asked "So… What are we going to do?"
- NORMAL POV -
When Naruto was met by silence, he elaborated, "I mean, why are we here in the first place? And at this ungodly time?"
"… I wanted to show you something," the black-haired boy said looking at him.
Arching a perfect eyebrow, the blond asked impatiently ""well… what is it?"
"…Later…"
The future Hokage felt his eyes twitching, and his hands was shaking, eager to throttle someone, probably the one standing in front of him. So with barely repressed annoyance, he asked coolly, "do you mean to tell me that you asked me to go here at this time only to wait?"
"…No…"
"Then why are we here?" He asked exasperatedly.
"…Uhmm… to talk…" Shino said with a hint of embarrassment.
Naruto stifle a laugh at that. Shino? Talk? The world must be coming to an end. So deciding to humour the other teen he inquired, "what about?"
"…Anything…" the Aburame replied with a shrug.
Sighing loudly in annoyance, "Alright. So are we to stay here until the end of 5 hours or what?"
A shrug was his only reply.
Gritting his teeth, Naruto took a few calming breaths before he lunged at the bug-lover. So slumping back at the tree he waited for the other teen to say something. After few minutes of silence, he saw that the Aburame teen was looking at the sky. It seems that the sun was about to rise.
When the first ray of sun hit the tree at his right, he caught his breath. There, at the tree was a swarm of bugs that shines much brighter than the rising sun in different colors. They fly and floated for a while and to Naruto's surprise they clustered together in front of him and formed the words "I REALLY LIKE YOU, NARUTO".
It was truly breathtaking. The words were blinking and were like the colors of the rainbow after a storm. The sun's rays pass through them making it glitter like diamonds.
"I… I… don't know what to say…" Naruto breathes out after the sun had fully risen and the bugs were gone.
Shino shrugs, silent as ever but with a difference. There's a hint of smile on his lips and his face was as red as a tomato.
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Hours later….
Overall Comment: Quiet, but… Sweet…
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10:01 a.m.
Datee 002:
Naruto trudged on the official Date site. He was a bit late on his next date because he came from the heart of the forest where Shino and he took a walk. The walk was relatively quiet but it was a welcomed quiet.
Sometimes the Aburame will point some bugs to him, and explained its uses or what-not, some of the facts about bugs were fairly amusing, not that he was interested really (who cares how many feet and eyes and how it sucks its food, right?).
But still… he was still astounded that the bug-lover has a romantic bone on his slim body. –Snicker-
The blond then reached his destination; it was a bench at the end of the Konoha. The place where Sakura talked to the Uchiha before the teme ran away to come and train with the pedophile. Until now, Naruto still wonders if the Hokage choose this place simply to annoy him. He saw that there was already a man sitting at the bench so he tentatively sat at the corner of the bench.
He already knows the name of the man because he looked at the parchment before he arrived there. And he didn't know why, but it sent shivers on his spine.
The man's name is Akabane Jackal (1)
Sounds freaky, right?
He cleared his throat and smiled nervously at the man while studying him. This Akabane person sure is strange. The man has a hat which has slit at the front and covers his almost shoulder length raven hair. He has a pale skin and he was clothed with a black trench coat and he has white gloves. Akabane seems to be in early thirties or late twenties. Either way he was handsome, but the gleam in his eyes only tells one thing.
Beware.
And if only his future as a Hokage is not on stake he would have run as fast as he can –chakra induced- and –fear induced- run.
So, being the brave person he was – (or stupid, take your pick) - he decided to stay.
He smiled tentatively and tried to make a conversation but his eyes grew wide and he shook slightly because the man leaned closer to him slowly tracing his face with the man's gloved fingers. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath reassuring himself that yes, the man is touching him and no, he will not die just be cause he was being touched and yes, he didn't generally let other people tough him, but since he was often molested he'll let the man touch him. As long as it is ONLY his FACE.
Suddenly his eyes flew open in shock as he felt a cold something on his face. And if it's possible his eyes grew even larger when he saw what it was. Knife. Lots and lots of them and the man were tracing his face with knives drawing blood.
"My, my… you really look like Ginji-kun… both of you are cute… and very powerful, too… too bad he is with Midou-kun now. Oh well –shrugs- I wonder how it feels to fight you, probably… a very exciting experience." The man purred seductively, with a sadistic smile on his lips.
And so, like said earlier, being the brave person he is, he did the only thing that only the BRAVEST person would do in a situation like this.
He fainted.
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Hours later…
Comment:h-h-he's i-i-i-in-sane. B-baa-c-c-chan… I-if I s-saw h-him again I-I think I'm g-gong to die of f-f-right…
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3:00 pm
Datee 003:
The blond is still hyperventilating even if Akabane has been gone for five minutes. His eyes are still wide in shock and it is only because he could hear his heartbeat that he realized he hadn't died because of shock, and for that he is thankful. He tried calming himself and blinked in surprise when a bag of chips was thrust into his face.
He saw his chubby friend there, smiling sheepishly at him while munching on his own big bag of chips.
A quick look at the parchment assured him that Akimichi Chouji was his next date. He grinned and accepted the bag of chips. They sat in comfortable silence and occasionally traded stories about anything that comes to their minds.
Comment: Now I know why Chouji loves to eat. It calms the nerves. And… Chouji is a good friend.
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That night, Naruto slept fitfully. For the first five minutes that is. Because after that he had a dream.
He was in the forest, surrounded by big bag of chips. He picked one and happily munched on it then from it a bug emerged. The bug was glittering and flying around him in circles then it morphed into a man. A man in a black trench coat that have white gloves on his hands with a smile that can send even the man who has everything to suicide. The man slowly walked to him and unsheathed his knives.
Thankfully, when the man is only a step from him, he woke up. Breathing heavily, and shaking.
When he returned to sleep, a fleeting thought crossed his mind. 'I'm traumatized for life…'
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-- DAY 2 --
9:00 a.m.
Datee 004: Anastasia (2)
As the words stopped glowing Naruto looked up and saw a girl wearing trousers, with suspenders, dirty white polo shirt, a paperboy cap and muddy boots.
"So you're Anastasia, right?" he asked wondering why the girl was dressed like a boy.
"Is that my real name?" the girl crossdresser asks apprehensively.
"That's what it says here. Why? Don't you know your own name?" he asked bemusedly, wondering if it was a joke or not.
"I don't really know, I lost my memories when I was a kid, the ones who adopted me named me Anya." The girl said biting her lips anxiously.
Apparently not.
The teen frowned, "so why did you join here? I don't think it's because of me."
"Well, someone said that you can help me find someone here that can tell me who I really am."
Naruto slumped back on his bench and rubbed his face in annoyance. Why the hell did the Godaime picked someone who didn't even have a clue of who she really was?? And he was here to have a date and not to help find lost identities!!
He looked at the girl and saw that even if she appears tough there is a hint of sadness on her eyes, making his soft heart, softer.
"I think someone here knows who you are to enlist you in that name. So, Alright, I'll help you find him or her." He offered.
Actually, he just wanted this date to be over with. Not that he'll tell it out loud.
The eyes of the girl grew wide and she whispered "really?"
"Hmmm…" he nodded, standing up. "C'mon," he offered his hand and helped the girl to stand up.
He led the girl to the market and started to question the villagers if they knew the girl but all the answer they got is if Naruto would like to stay and have a brunch or lunch with them.
Their time was almost up and the girl is starting to lose hope (and Naruto is starting to lose patience with the villagers) that they will find someone who can help her find her true identity when a loud yell caught their attention.
"Anastasia!"
They both whirled around and see a handsome man running towards them. The man stopped in front of them and pant a little before offering his hand to the girl before saying, "I'm Dimitri. I can help you in finding your true identity and I'll even bring you back to your family."
"Really?" Anastasia asked, voice filled with hope.
The man nodded and said "your grandmother is Dowager Empress Marie Fyodorovna, and I'm here to bring you back to her." The man took a passport (ticket) and a visa from his pocket and showed it to the girl "The train will leave at 2:30 p.m. so we must leave. Vladimir, my friend is already waiting for us there." He said with urgency.
The blond teen looks at his watch and saw that they only have almost half an hour and the walk to the train will take 25 minutes.
"Go, or you might be left by the train" he said to the girl, smiling to her.
She looks at him and took his hands and squeezed it gratefully, she leans and kissed him on the cheeks before murmuring "thank you," then she runs to the waiting Dimitri and together they head off to the train station.
Naruto, who was left stunned, just shrugged his shoulders then left for the next date. Hopefully, this one has his or her memory intact.
Comment: I can't believe that all this time I'm with a duchess. But I'm glad for her really. I just hope that her memories were kept intact and she won't lose it again and bother me to find it for her.
And I just have a question. Do I look like a fucking lost and found memory section??
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2:00 p.m. – 7:00 p.m.
Datee 005: Anko ??
Comment: I thought that Akabane is the only person that could be that insane but noooo. I have to meet this person too. It started innocently enough. She invited me to eat Dango, and of course being a good soul I accepted the offer. She said that we will eat at her favorite hang-out.
But I never, and I mean never, anticipated that her favorite hang-out is an abandoned cemetery in a middle of nowhere where even the scariest of creatures are afraid to go. There are dried blood everywhere and shackles and tools that were used for tortures.
And if it isn't enough she had to retell every torture that has taken place there and describe them detail by detail complete with gruesome pictures and a manic smile. Needless to say, I almost peed on my pants. (Tell this to the others and I'll tell Shizune how you manage to sneak all those sake bottles) I'll be happy to forget that I even met this person.
So, goodnight baa-chan. I hope that when I open my eyes this will turn into a bad dream like my nightmare last night.
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-- DAY 3 --
9:00 a.m. – 2:00 p.m.
Datee 006: Asuma ??
Comment: Well... He's not so bad if you ignore the fact that he looks like a pedophile chimney. And… I learned something when I was with him… No wonder he and Kaka-sensei got along. He's a pervert… and no… he don't read Icha Icha, he preferred hands-on. Stupid Fucking Groping Pedophile.
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2:15 a.m.
Datee 007
Naruto arrived early at the date site and decided to wait for his next date. When he noticed that a man was heading his way and seated next right to him, he conclude that this must be the next datee. But he decided to ask to be sure "Uhhmmm… excuse me but are you double O-7?"
"Yes." The man replies raising one eyebrow at him, but smiling charmingly. The man is an enigma that is for sure. He wears a suit that fits his muscled body perfectly and he moves gracefully. All in all he is very attractive.
"What's you're name?" the teen asked since the parchment hadn't activated yet.
"The name is Bond. James Bond. (3)"
Just then a soft glow came from the parchment and he look down to but his brows furrowed when he saw the name.
Datee 007 ?????????????
"I'm sorry, but are you sure you're double 0-7?"
"Yes, why?"
"But… the name here is not James Bond… in fact it is Atsuka, Morton (4). Is… Is that a codename or something?" he asked confusion marred his adorable face.
Something flashed in the man's eyes, but it quickly disappeared, "No, Jame-" the man was cut-off when another man arrived. The man had a dark hair and was wearing a white polo shirt and a casual jeans.
Then, like watching a movie he saw that James pulled something out from his trousers that looks like a pen and shot the man in the heart, who drops on the ground soaked on his own blood and clearly dead.
"That is Atsuka, Morton," the man explained calmly, pointing at the dead man.
"What did you do??" the blond asked horrified. It's not because he was horrified that the man was killed in front of him.
No, it was the fact that there is the rule that the datees must remain alive however annoyed Naruto may be to them.
The Hokage will be soooo pissed.
The man in suit just shrugged and said calmly, "don't worry I'll explain this to the village head. After all, I don't want a cutee such as you to get in trouble." Then with a wink the man turned and walked away.
Naruto stood there gaping before remembering something, "hey!" he called out "I thought you said you are double 0-7?"
The man stop but didn't turn around instead with a cool smooth voice replied, "I am. It's my codename. Agent double 0-7." And with that the man resumed walking and was gone.
Comment:WTF??
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-- DAY 4 --
9:00 a.m.
Datee 008: Bakura?? (5)
Initial Comment:He's kind of cute but I think he's still a kid…
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Too busy writing; the gorgeous cerulean eyed teen didn't notice a maniacal gleam on Bakura's eyes.
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5 hrs later…
Overall Comment:I'm postponing my date for later by an hour because I have to go home immediately. Don't ask me why.
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The blonde woman's brows furrowed as she read the writings, so curiosity getting the better of her she wrote back
Godaime: '…WHY?'
A minute later and still no response, she was about to give up when she noticed that a furious scribbles appear.
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Overall Comment:Because that idiot Bakura stole my boxers!! I don't know how he did that but he did!! Idiot said he will stole something for me for souvenir, like hell I will allow it so I told him no, but he was engulfed in a black something and the next thing I knew my boxers are gone. So I'm going home to dress because I can't very well go commando here!!
Godaime: …. OK…
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While Naruto trudged home to get into a new pair of boxers, the Hokage fall off her chair, guffawing loudly
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-NARUTO'S POV-
2:10 p.m.
Datee 009: Belle (6)
I'm sitting here at the bench and I'm annoyed as hell. My date, Belle is her name and she is almost 5 minutes late and I don't like it. Not one bit. Didn't this person realize that I have more important things to do than wait for her so she can fawn at me or annoy me or give me more reasons to think about suicide?? She should be thankful because I'm doing her a great favor by gracing her with my presence and this is what she'll do?? Make me wait??
I don't care if this Belle person is a girl, once I saw her I will strangle her to death. I'll just frame or seduce one of my fans to admit the crime.
Heh. I'm such a genius.
I heard a running footstep and I jerked up my head and saw a girl, she is about 18 I think and she was wearing a white dress with a blue smock. She is quite beautiful if I must say. She has a perfect figure and her face was flushed and she was panting.
I can see that she has lost her momentum and naturally, being the gentleman that I am, I help her before she stumble in front of me. She clutched my shirt and shook me, "help me! My father is not insane, the Beast really exists!"
What the hell??
I hold her wrist and tried to calm her down, surely a beautiful girl like her can't be insane right? "Calm down. You're Belle right?" seeing a frantic nod, I told her "No one is telling that your father is insane,"
"Gaston. He said that my father is insane for telling them that a beast resides on the abandoned castle. But he is telling the truth." The girl explained while yanking my shirt, almost ripping it.
Ookkkaaaayyy…. Maybe she IS insane.
As if reading my mind she cried "I'm telling the truth! Look!" she took a mirror from her dress and thrust it in front of my face. "Show me the beast!"
"H-how…" I sputtered not believing my eyes, cause on the mirror is a beast who is currently howling in sadness. And pain. Someone is attacking him and it looks like he is not fighting back.
"You've gotta help him! Please!" Belle begged to me.
Of course, being the future Hokage, and a true ninja at heart, I must help her. I quickly hoisted her on my back piggy-back style and gathering chakra on my feet I head to the castle while the girl tells me the direction.
We arrive there in the nick of time and I helped save the beast. Fortunately, the bastard Gaston falls on the ground from the balcony. Clearly dead. Thank goodness, or he might spread his bastardness on the Earth, and we have enough of the Uchihas, thank you very much.
But unfortunately, the beast was stabbed on the back and I could tell that he was about to die.
And even more unfortunately, a mushy scene unfolded in front of me. Where Belle is crying and telling the beast that he mustn't die while he took his last breath.
And even more shocking, she hugged the beast while telling her that she loves him.
I don't even know if I should admire the girl for her guts or for her ability to love even a hideous creature. And a dead one for that matter.
Then a glowing light bathed the beast, and lo and behold he became a man. And a handsome one at that. Not that I'll steal him from Belle, mind you.
At first, Belle is confused and asked where is the Beast (How thick is she?? Doesn't she know that the sexy man in front of her is the Beast? Really. –rolls eyes-)
Thankfully, she recognized the eyes of the man (I recognized him from the smell, hehe) and kissed him.
At that, a bright light filled the room blinding me. And to my surprise, the talking household items become humans and the dark gloomy castle transforms into a beautiful castle.
Wow. I didn't know that a kiss could break a spell. Must be some kiss.
Looking around and seeing that no one is paying any attention to me except the former candle holder who is currently fluttering his eyelashes to me, I decided to go home.
I think I had completed my 100 good deeds for today and I need a back rub, dammit!!
Comment2 things:
1. I think… I'll never look at a mirror again.
2. The girl surely could kiss, although I'll never know how good is it cause I don't want a former beast hunting me for stealing his girlfriend.
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-- DAY 5 --
9:00 a.m. – 2:00 p.m.
Datee 010: Bluto (7)
Comment:The man is insane, he keeps going on and on about how this – this – Poop eye? Poppay? Popaye? Whatever-his-name- is going to come and stole me from him... like the man did on that Olive Oyle woman. HAH?! As if!! I mean, I'm never his to begin with so there really is nothing to steal right??
Then he keeps on bragging his strength and always flexes his muscle like he is on a muscle show or something, and it's disgusting, really, instead of turning me on it makes me wanna hurl!
But that's not all baa-chan, the man certainly freaks out when we were at the restaurant and the waiter asks if we would like their house specialty which is a Spinach Salad. He threatens the poor waiter until the man almost peed at his pants. Saying that spinach is bad for his health or something and whatever-his-name gets his strength from it.
I swear he really is insane, and I never want to see him again!
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2:09 p.m.
Datee 011:
-Blink.-
-Blink. Blink.-
When the image before me didn't disappear I blink again.
Surely there must be a mistake, coz I refuse to believe that this girl is my date.
And not just any girl, a blond with pigtails girl with a very big blue eyes that could even be my little sister.
A baby little sister. Because I doubt this girl is even barely 7 years old.
So what the hell is Hokage thinking when she allowed this girl to be my date??
"Hi!" a perky voice floated in the air.
I gape when I saw that the girl is flying. What the hell? Is this supposed to be a genjutsu or something??
After a moment, I realized that 1. That isn't a genjutsu. 2. She's just a kid so she could not perform the genjutsu 3. I look like an idiot gaping like a fish.
So composing myself and coughing a little, trying to hide my embarrassment. "What is your name?" I asked with something akin to hope that this is not my date.
"Bubbles!" the pigtailed girl with very wide blue eyes chirped.
I look down with trepidation and hoping, and praying that please, please, please, Kami-sama please, that this girl is not my date because I might end up in jail for child harassment.
But like all my other prayers such as hoping that all my stalkers will just all drop dead, my prayers were not answered because sure enough in bold letters are the words
Datee 011: Bubbles (8)
Looking intently at the girl I ask seriously, "are you sure you're Bubbles?"
The girl nodded exuberantly, "yup!"
Biting the inside of my cheek, I ask for a moment and walks a little away from her. I get the pen from my backpocket and scribbling furiously, I began to write
Initial Comment: What the Hell Baa-chan?? I am not a pedophile; this girl looks like she is only about 7 years old!
I wait a moment for the reply and immediately wish that I could kill the old hag, then bury her and plant garlic on the soil, and could get away with it.
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Godaime: She IS 7 years old. So treat her nicely.
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SEE??
I hate her. Really.
Hope she drops dead too. Hag.
Taking a deep, deep breath I walk back at the girl and was surprised that she has tears threatening to fall, "You don't like me?" she asked with quivering voice.
"Yes… I mean… no, I like-, oh fuck!" I stammered, trying to appease the girl but failing miserably. I raked my hand on my hair and sighed in annoyance. I'm not being overdramatic really, but I think, this mission will be the death of me.
"You really don't like me!" she wailed.
My god, does she have to be so loud when she wails??
"Look, why don't we go to the park and I'll buy you an ice cream?" I asked, hoping that she'll forget her tantrum and just shut the hell up. Really how large could a girl like her have for lungs??
"OK!" she said happily totally stopping her cries that could shutter the eardrums of the unsuspecting people. Namely me.
It's times like this that I hate my enhanced senses.
And life.
Overall Comment: Damn it!! I am not a baby sitter baa-chan!! I spend the hours alternately buying her sweets and trying to entertain her. And then I have to meet her sisters who send me a laser beam thinking that I'm molesting their sister.
If anyone is the victim here, it's me!!
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-NORMAL POV-
-- DAY 6 --
9:01 a.m.
Datee 012: Bush, George W. (President) (9)
"Uhh, may I ask what does president means?" Naruto asks after seeing the parchment.
"It means the one who governs a country," the man identified as George Bush explained patiently. Bush appeared to be in his sixties, and honestly Naruto has no idea what business the man is doing joining a date hunt like this.
He looked dignified too, wearing a dark pressed suit and white undershirt. It makes Naruto feels self-conscious looking down at himself. He was wearing a blue turtleneck that brings out the color of his eyes, and a faded and torn jeans. With his accessories and sneakers he looks like a delinquent compared to the man.
"Oh, so it's like a Hokage huh? Cool..." the blond said in awe.
"What's a Hokage?" Bush asked in confusion.
"Hokage is the strongest ninja in the whole Konoha, they protect the village."
"Ohh…" the man nodded in understanding.
Unable to contain his curiosity any longer, he decided to ask "Uhhmmm… not to be rude or anything but why are you here? I mean why did you join this date thingy? Surely a man like you have already a wife and children."
"Yes, I already have a wife and two daughters," seeing the teen's confusion, he added "My advisers told me that this is the best way to gather vote. You see, many of the contestants here are voters and they think that this is a good time as many to gather votes. And I assure you I have many plans when I am reelected…"
And so, the man proceeded to tell Naruto (who is trying not to cry because of boredom) his plans, projects and (empty) promises to change in his country while convincing him to vote for the man.
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Boring Hours later…
Comment: I'm rethinking my ambition as a Hokage.
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2:15 p.m. – 7:15 p.m.
Datee 013: Crabbe, Vincent (10)
Comment:He's an idiot, no doubt about it. And I'm not being cruel; I even think that is a compliment.
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Tsunade looks at her copy of the parchment with furrowed brows. It's been a week since the whole dating thing has started but she can see that the blond is still annoyed at the situation. The comments at every name he had dated may have not shown it but the crosses at their name certainly prove it. Some names even have labels on them, like Bakura, across his name written in red big bold letters are the words PERVERT/BOXER STEALER, on Akabane and Anko are the labels Insane and Sadists, and many more.
She sighed, and thought 'this is not going to be easy'. Then, remembering who the remaining names are, she cracked an insane smile, 'But no one can deny that this is fun…'
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I tried to make this long, and believe me this is sooo long, seeing that many of you are eager to read this chapter, I hope I didn't disappoint you people… Review please! And no haters… hehe…
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End Notes:
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(1) Akabane Jackal is from the anime Getbackers, he is somewhat an antagonist that helps the Getbackers in odd times. He HAS an odd obsession with Ginji who almost looks like Naruto only taller and bulkier.
(2) Anastasia is from Disney movie ANASTASIA. She is a member of the Russian Imperial Court who has lost her memories and lived as a poor girl named Anya. Dimitri and Vladimir originally planned for her to pretend that she was the princess and they later found out that she really IS the princess. The visa was one of the important things that made their paths crossed. And Dimitri and Anastasia became lovers.
(3) James Bond is from the movie Agent 00-7
(4) Atsuka, Marton a non-canonical name. In short, just a figment of my over-active imagination. Apparently he's a wanted criminal and James Bond was sent to eliminate him.
(5) Bakura is an antagonist from the anime Yu-Gi-Oh. He is the one who stole the millennium items.
(6) Belle is from the Disney movie Beauty and the Beast.
(7) Bluto is the antagonist from the famous cartoon Pop-eye the Sailorman. He was often beaten to a pulp whenever Pop-eye eats his spinach.
(8) Bubbles one of the Powerpuff girls.
(9) Pres. George W. Bush president of the United States of America.
(10) Crabbe, Vincent is one of the cronies of the antagonist Draco Malfoy on the famous series Harry Potter.
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