Chapter Ten
The Gardiners left on Saturday, and though Georgiana would not have said so for any thing, she was glad to see the family party restored to Darcys, and only Darcys. She was very fond of her sister's relations, of course, but it was simply not the same. She was always performing, always afraid of making some terrible, shameful mistake. With just the three of them, it was different. After all, Fitzwilliam was not even angry over Ramsgate, and nothing she did now could even begin to compare to that.
Now that she was less absorbed in her own fears, she was better able to observe her family, and quickly found herself settling into a pleasant sort of contentment.
Fitzwilliam was everything that was proper and restrained and subtle. His wife was always 'Mrs Darcy' before company and to the servants, and except for a startled blush now and then, he had all his usual poise and composure. Yet there were little things — he never addressed her with anything more familiar than her name, but occasionally, something in his voice turned the long syllables into an endearment. He always rested his hand against her back when they stood together, whether in company or not, and once or twice, Georgiana caught him pressing Elizabeth's fingers against his lips, with a look that made her shiver, even though it was only Fitzwilliam.
Mrs Darcy was, with her easy, affectionate disposition, almost shockingly demonstrative, her face lighting up with pleasure at the sight of her husband, holding his arm tightly against her when they walked together, stealing kisses to his astonishment as well as his sister's, and sometimes simply watching him with unreserved enjoyment, though only when he was oblivious to the attention. She seemed delighted by all those things which Georgiana had never known to be grateful for, often sang in her clear light voice without fear, enjoying what seemed the most imperturbable good humour imaginable. She was such a happy person, her usual conversation punctuated by gaiety and endearments. Georgiana, as she slowly grew accustomed to her sister's ways, found her own spirits lifted by the sparkling merriment of her sister-in-law's, and she realised that Fitzwilliam's moods, too, were lighter as well, though no less tranquil. And above all, Elizabeth was always, always laughing. Though usually it was the laughter of joy and happiness, Elizabeth also laughed at people — not with that unpleasant sort of raillery that Georgiana sometimes heard, but genuine amusement and pleasure in folly and whimsicality — even at Fitzwilliam.
On one early occasion, she knew she had not been quite able to hide her immediate, instinctive alarm.
'Oh, I have shocked you,' Mrs Darcy said, her eyes dancing. 'I hope you will forgive my impertinence, Georgiana.'
'I . . . I . . .' She could see not the slightest hint of malice or displeasure (or penitence) in her sister-in-law's mobile face. 'It is not for me to . . . I have no right — ' she stammered. 'Fitzwilliam does not mind,' she managed to say, more clearly, 'and that is all that matters.'
Elizabeth looked at her more seriously, then set her work aside. 'Come walk with me, Georgiana.'
Uncertainly, she acquiesced, knowing that she had no right to any special consideration on her sister-in-law's part. She shortened her step to match Elizabeth's, her head bent a little.
'I think I am beginning to recover my sanity,' Elizabeth began. Georgiana blinked; the smaller woman laughed. 'Forgive me — what a beginning! I only meant . . .' Her eyes travelled about the hall, a trace of wonder still there. 'I am afraid I have been terribly preoccupied, between Christmas, Pemberley, and . . .' a slow smile crept over her face — 'and your brother.'
Georgiana's brow contracted.
'Do you know, you look almost exactly like him when you do that? It is quite uncanny. In any case, yes, your brother. I . . . oh,' a quick smile flashed across her face, 'I have done everything backwards. I learnt to respect him, esteem him, love him, and then fell into infatuation. Truly, I have hardly been able to keep a thought in my head.'
Georgiana could not conceal her scepticism at such a description of her clever sister-in-law, who laughed.
'Oh, very well — but not many. I have been selfishly preoccupied with your brother and with my own happiness, and have not paid you the attention you deserve.'
Georgiana scarcely knew what to say. She turned her head away, a little.
'And,' Elizabeth went on, her tone firming, 'I would not wish you to be distressed in your own home. What your brother thinks is not quite all that matters here.'
'I am not — I was not distressed,' Georgiana said, finding her voice and her courage. 'I was only startled — I cannot imagine speaking to Fitzwilliam as you do, not ever.'
'I should hope not!' Elizabeth met her astonished gaze with a cheerful smile. 'My dear Georgiana, Fitzwilliam would never permit you to speak to him as I do — and quite rightly so, I might add. He is your brother and your guardian; such behaviour would be completely inappropriate from you. You must understand — a woman may take liberties with her husband that a man will not allow from a sister more than ten years younger than he is.'
Georgiana frowned, mulling this over.
'At least, a woman well married may,' Elizabeth continued, her eyes drifting over the faces of Darcy men and women, fathers and sons and wives and sisters. 'The first thing I admired about your brother — after his eyes — ' Georgiana giggled nervously — 'was that no matter how much I teased and challenged him — and believe me, I did — he never seemed remotely discomposed, let alone threatened. Well, it was infuriating, really, but also . . . pleasant.'
'Infuriating? Whatever for?'
Elizabeth looked up at Lady Alexandra Darcy, Georgiana's grandmother. 'I was always so clever,' she said slowly. 'Cleverer than anybody, except my father, and I knew it perfectly well; he never attempted to hide his preference for me, or the reasons for it. I understood that nobody I had ever known was truly my equal. Then — I met your brother.' She laughed again, this time with a rather sharp edge. 'And he dismissed me out of hand, with scarcely a look. I wanted nothing more than to find him unworthy even of contempt.'
She turned to face Georgiana, who was too shocked to even gasp, with a wry smile. 'I behaved very badly, I assure you — I am quite a vain creature! I was so intent on convincing myself that he was truly unworthy, that the fault was in him, not in me, that I was just as pretty and clever and sensible and generally wonderful as I had always believed myself to be — ' she shrugged, looking remarkably unperturbed. 'Yet despite everything — I cannot recall that we ever agreed on any subject -- there was always a sort of, of affinity between us, and yes, it infuriated me because I could never quite dismiss him when, in a way, he treated me with more consideration than anyone else ever had.'
'I — I had no idea,' Georgiana stammered.
Elizabeth waved her hand dismissively. 'The vagaries of our courtship need not bother you, Georgiana; I am simply trying to say, not very articulately, that the only sort of man worth your consideration is one who treats you as a rational creature, not an elegant lady to be coddled and patronised.'
Georgiana tilted her head to the side, considering. 'I do not think, either, that I could talk to anybody as you do Fitzwilliam,' she said, her heart pounding. She wanted Elizabeth to like her, she really did, but she could not say something untrue, even the thought of it made her almost ill.
Elizabeth smiled. 'Your disposition is not mine, Georgiana, and I can assure you that most men do not care to be teased and laughed at. Even Fitzwilliam is just now learning.'
Georgiana, who knew perfectly well that her brother 's closest companions had almost always been cheerful, light-hearted people like her cousin Richard, who admired him immensely and teased him mercilessly, would not contradict her and could not agree. She smiled, but did not dare reply.
'Mrs Darcy, Miss Darcy,' said Farley awkwardly, 'the master wants you in the study.'
Elizabeth and Georgiana looked at one another in surprise. Such a peremptory command was very unlike Fitzwilliam, but there was nothing else to be done; they set aside their work and followed the servant.
Fitzwilliam was standing in a shaft of chilly sunlight, his face turned away from the window and a letter held loosely in one hand. His expression was as grim as Georgiana had seen it for a very long time.
'Is something wrong?' Elizabeth enquired as soon as Farley had left.
'Fitzwilliam? Are you well?' Georgiana said at the same time.
'Oh,' he said, with a sharp, brittle laugh, 'I am perfectly well, thank you. However, I do not believe our cousin and his — ' his mouth twisted — 'companion could say the same.' He made a casual gesture. 'Come, Milton, do you lack the decorum to so much as enquire after your cousins' health?'
In their concern for Fitzwilliam, neither Georgiana nor Elizabeth had noticed the couple standing in the corner opposite him. Milton was very much himself, despite the obvious lack of care he had taken in his appearance, but the woman with him was not Diana, but rather somebody Georgiana had never set eyes on. She was very small, probably three or four inches shorter than Elizabeth, plain, with a grossly swollen belly.
'Darcy, this is not the time for niceties,' he snarled. 'You must — '
'With all due respect, cousin, you would do well to remember whose home you have so cavalierly made your own,' Fitzwilliam replied, very softly. Georgiana swallowed, and retracted her earlier judgment of her brother's temper. She had never seen him like this. Milton seemed to realise something similar, and cut his own reply short.
Elizabeth's dark eyes flickered between the two men; then, she walked towards the woman and said graciously,
'Miss Martin, you must be exhausted. Your clothes are sodden. Come, we will take you upstairs, get you some warm clothes, something to eat,— ' As they left, Elizabeth glanced over her shoulder and gave Fitzwilliam one long, serious look. He nodded.
Georgiana was still attempting to understand the silent interchange when they reached one of the empty rooms. Miss Martin was shivering violently and scarcely seemed to realise where she was or who she was with. It was some minutes before they managed to get her dressed, wrapped in blankets, with some hot soup before her.
Georgiana, feeling awkward and useless, stood a little apart. She knew who Miss Martin was, of course — Kate told her all the servants' gossip, wherever they went, and in any case she'd heard enough with her own ears to surmise what it meant — but she'd never thought to actually see her, especially not with Fitzwilliam so angry about it. Georgiana glanced at her out of the corner of her eye. So this was what an adulteress looked like? She was nothing like she had imagined.
'Thank you, Mrs Darcy,' Miss Martin said in a tired voice, pushing the remnants of her meal away and lying down. 'I hope your husband is not terribly distressed by our arrival.'
Elizabeth looked at her a moment. 'He is,' she said, and had a servant take the rest away. 'Would you like some more blankets, or are you warm enough?'
Miss Martin gave a peculiar smile and opened her eyes just enough to glance sideways at Elizabeth. 'I would like another, if it is no inconvenience.'
'Of course not,' Elizabeth replied briskly. 'Georgiana — '
'Oh! I beg your pardon. I hope this helps, Miss Martin.'
'Thank you.' She lay on her side, curling her legs and wrapping an arm around her belly. Georgiana, knowing nothing else to do, remained where she was and tried not to gawk at her as if she were some rare breed of animal. She glanced uncertainly at Elizabeth, who had briefly turned away, to all appearances examining her watch.
And she recognised something in her face that she would never have associated with her merry sister-in-law. Elizabeth was furious.
Georgiana swallowed. She felt confused and ignorant, and the silence seemed to press on her, even once Elizabeth turned back around with a politely neutral smile on her face.
'You do not approve, do you?' Miss Martin said, her voice utterly dispassionate.
'No. Would you like another pillow?'
Georgiana took a firm step backwards, away from the woman on the bed. If Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth were both angry, there must be very good reason for it.
'I have done nothing wrong. You have no — ' her teeth chattered a bit — 'no right to — to — '
'Georgiana, get Miss Martin another blanket.' She hastily obeyed, and just as hastily stepped back. Elizabeth looked down on Milton's mistress with mingled pity and contempt. 'I am very sorry for the situation you find yourself in, but you have no right to come into my home and tell me what I may or may not think.'
Miss Martin's only response was to turn her head away, instead gazing at Georgiana, who could hardly bear to look at the hectic brightness of her cheeks and eyes.
'Are you frightened of me, Miss Darcy? Or is it simply that your delicate sensibilities are affonted?' She coughed deep in her throat. 'If Edward is to be believed, we have a great deal in common, you and I.'
'Georgiana,' Elizabeth said sharply, 'go downstairs and join your brother. I can manage Miss Martin on my own.'
Georgiana fled with Miss Martin's weary laughter ringing in her ears.