Derek leaned back against the wall as he lit the Newport cigarette. Inhaling the menthol, he began to blow smoke rings in the air. His previous mood had been filled with agitation although that was nothing new. Antsy seemed to be his middle name as he was always on guard, always paranoid, letting the slightest little thing set him off. But he had decided to relax. He was beginning to feel a little better about things as if he were already one step ahead of the pack.

"What are you looking at?" he asked, feeling Peyton's anxious glance.

"You aren't even looking my way. How'd you know I was looking at you?"

A smirk came to his lips.

"You think I have to see you with my eyes to really see you? Come on, Peyton. You know me better than that, baby. I always see you. I'm inside of you. I don't need my eyes to know what you're seeing, what you're feeling."

She shuddered involuntarily. He was so creepy most of the time. Just the comment made her want to vomit.

"Can…can I have one?" she asked with a shaky voice.

"Since when do you smoke?"

Peyton shrugged.

"I don't. Well, at least not anymore. I used to a few years ago. I don't know, I guess it was stupid. I did it to look cool or to get my mind off things or maybe a combination of both."

"You used to smoke after you'd leave your mom's grave…your first mom, Anna."

Peyton felt a cold chill all over her body.

"How…how'd you know that?"

He laughed.

"I know everything. Here", he offered her the pack. "Old habits die hard, huh?"

She was reluctant to accept anything from him but her hands, along with her nerves, were already trembling violently.

"I guess", she said, letting him light her cigarette as she took a drag.

It wasn't much but it helped. Anything helped. Anything to take her away from him, if only for a moment.

"You nervous?"

"What?"

"I asked if I make you nervous."

"I, I don't know. Sometimes, I guess."

Derek shook his head.

"You know, that sucks. It really hurts me to hear you say that, Peyton. I already told you not to be afraid of me. There is nothing to fear. It's me. It's Derek."

"Sometimes it's you…and sometimes it's not. It, it's like there are two Dereks and I'm never sure which one I'm gonna get."

He nodded. To some degree he recognized what she was saying.

"Sorry. Look, it won't always be this way, okay? I promise you things will get better."

"How?"

"Just trust me, they will."

"When?" she asked meekly.

He rolled his eyes in frustration.

"I'm working on it, okay? Damn, Peyton, why can't you just be patient? Can't you see I'm doing the best I can?"

He was getting angry. The last thing she wanted was for him to become angry.

"I'm sorry", she whispered.

"It's okay", his voice softened as he looked at her. "I didn't mean to yell, alright? It's just, this is hard for me, too, Peyton. Yeah, maybe this wasn't the best plan but I am doing the best I can for now. But I hate this, too. I love you so much and it kills me that I can't do better for you now."

She bit her lip, sucking down the nicotine as fast as she could in order to summon her courage for the next question.

"Can I…"

"What?" his eyes narrowed.

"Can I, I mean, would it be possible if you could please let me make one quick phone call."

Derek swallowed hard.

"Who would you call?"

She tried not to cry.

"My, my dad."

He snuffed the butt out.

"Not right now. That's not a good idea."

Peyton closed her eyes. It's not that she expected a different answer but it couldn't hurt to try but the more she thought about it, the more it did hurt.

"Okay. Okay, um…can, well, can I, can I at least go outside?"

"What?"

"I know this is hard for you, too, Derek but…but at least you get to go outside. You see trees and sun…you see people. I don't have that. I haven't had that for over a month. After a while it starts to get to you. It's driving me crazy. Please."

He thought for a minute.

"I, I don't know."

"Derek…"

"It's a trick."

"It's not a trick."

"How do I know you wouldn't try to run away?"

Her bottom lip quivered.

"Because I won't."

"How do I know?"

"I, I give you my word…please."

She looked so beautifully pitiful at that moment and it reminded him all over again why he had fallen in love with her in the first place.

"Alright, Peyton."

"Alright?" she questioned, eager with hope.

"I'll let you go outside."

She could not control the tears.

"Oh thank you. Thank you so much…"

"Hold on. I'm gonna walk you out. I'm gonna put my hands over your eyes and when I take them off, you can look at the trees and the sun for a few minutes but then that's it."

"Okay."

"And don't think you're gonna figure out where you are."

"I won't. I won't even try, I promise."

She nodded, just grateful for the smallest things. His hands anywhere near her body was nothing short of repulsive but she sucked it up and let him guide her. The heavy door opened and Peyton let out a little gasp as a sudden gush of what felt like summer breeze blew through her hair. She trembled when he removed his hands and commanded her to open her eyes. She did and it was unreal. The sun at first weakened her vision with its relentless afternoon glare but she quickly adjusted. It was nature, it was reality. It was her only connection with the outside world in weeks.

"Oh my God…"

"What are you thinking about?" he asked quietly.

Peyton shrugged, temporarily at a loss for words.

"There, there is this big tree by my mom's grave. Across the way is a pretty old garden. I used to sit there for hours and draw. It was so beautiful and I really appreciated that. It's funny how sometimes you don't appreciate the things around you. I…I get that now. And this is nice. The sun, the trees…I didn't realize how much I missed it all."

"You'll get to see it again."

"I'll never take it for granted."

Derek nodded, just looking at her.

"You're thinking about your dad, aren't you?"

"Yeah", she answered softly.

"You miss him?"

"With all my heart."

"You think he's worried about you?"

"Maybe", she sighed. "I don't know. Probably."

"What about your friends?"

"I guess. I mean, I sure miss them."

"What if you could go away right now? I mean, close your eyes and be anywhere in the world, where would you be?"

Peyton sucked in a breath. It was a hell of a question.

"I, I'd be at the River Court. I'd be with my friends. And my dad would be there and both my moms and Jake and Jenny and Brooke…"

"The River Court, huh?"

"…And Lucas."

Derek felt his whole body tighten.

"Lucas, huh? Why the River Court, Peyton?"

She shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't know. It's safe and it's happy."

"What about me?" he questioned. "Would you want me there?"

She closed her eyes, willing herself to lie.

"Sure…"

But he saw right through the façade.

"You're lying."

"Derek…"

"Don't patronize me."

"I'm not. I'm sorry. It's just that this is still so scary for me and I don't understand it. If it was another time and you were the old Derek, the guy I used to love being around, my friend…then yeah. Yeah, I guess I would want you around."

"What if you could choose? I mean, what if it was Lucas or me? Who would you want?"

"Please don't do this."

His whole expression had changed.

"Get back inside!" he commanded.

She did as she was told before he had to instill physical force. The door slammed behind her and she jumped.

"Why do you keep bringing him up? He doesn't have anything to do with this, Derek."

"Bullshit! He has everything to do with it and you and I will never be happy and you'll never give our life a chance together as long as you have Lucas Scott on the brain."

"Derek…"

"You know, Peyton, I really didn't want it to have to come down to this but you're sort of forcing the issue, pushing my buttons like usual. I mean, I thought you'd let it go but no! Lucas, Lucas, Lucas! It's getting kind of old. I was trying to be a nice guy about it all and just leave him be out of our lives but like I said earlier, old habits die hard. You and I never will be anything until that guy is completely out of the picture."

"Out of the picture? What are you talking about?"

"Do I have to hurt him?"

"Derek…"

"Jesus Christ, do I have to kill the asshole? I don't want to but you're starting to leave me no choice."

"No!" Peyton began to wail. "No, no, no, no, no, no! Please, Derek! Don't!"

"Don't what?"

"Don't do anything to Lucas. I'm begging you."

"Why? Because you love him?"

Her tears began to flow.

"No!"

"I told you not to lie to me."

"I…"

"You what?" he sneered. "You love him? Is that it? Is that what you're trying to say, Peyton?"

"Yes", she whimpered.

"And you think he loves you, too, huh? Is that what you're waiting for? Good old King Lucas to play the hero and swoop in and save the day."

"I…"

"Be honest, Peyton."

"No", she sobbed. "No, I'm not, okay?"

"Why? Why not?"

"Lucas doesn't love me!"

Derek smiled with glee.

"Why would you say a thing like that?"

"Because he doesn't, okay? You're so obsessed with Lucas and me but it was never gonna be! He doesn't feel that way about me! I was never Brooke! He never cared like that!"

"But it didn't stop you from loving him, even though he didn't love you back?"

"No."

"Kind of like the way you don't love me?"

"I, I'm sorry, Derek."

He nodded, growing angrier by the second.

"Go back to your corner and sit down!"

"Why?" she asked tearfully.

"Because I said so!"

"But Derek…I, I didn't do anything."

"Fucking go!"

He was on his temper tantrum laced soapbox again and as fearful as Peyton was, sometimes a girl just had enough.

"No!"

"What did you just say to me?"

"No! I said no!"

"Peyton, I am warning you…"

"And I don't care! No! Even if you hit me, fine! I don't give a shit! I'm still not going!"

Grabbing her arm roughly, he threw her against the wall. Just like always, she had asked for it, practically begged him to discipline her.

"Now I guess you're gonna sit there and pout and cry?"

She defiantly made a statement by wiping away her tears.

"I'm done crying for you. It's your turn to pout. 'I kidnap Peyton and she still doesn't love me. Wah!' Go fucking figure."

"Oh really?"

"Really?"

"We'll see about that."

He walked over to an opposite corner and quickly returned with something in his hand. She flinched as he threw it at her but it was nothing more than a balled up piece of paper.

"What is this?"

"Read it and weep, bitch."

She unfolded it and found herself staring at her own pictures printed neatly on a flier. Her eyes scanned it along with the words missing.

"Oh my God…"

"That's right. Seems Daddy put them up all over town. He's been on the news crying for you, too. Tried to go to the cops but guess what? They don't believe him."

"No…"

"And guess who else is on the case? Come on, Peyton. Who do you think is wearing the red cape? That's right. It's Lucas Scott. He's whining and crying like the little bitch that he is trying to save you."

"What? No…how, how do you know?"

Derek laughed.

"Because I was there. I was 'searching' for you, holding my little candle, chanting my little hymns and prayers next to Nathan and Haley and Karen and oh yeah, even Brooke had a heart to be there."

Peyton stared at the flier in disbelief, clutching it to her chest as she felt herself lose balance and sink to the ground. Her pain was their pain. They loved and missed her just as much as she loved and missed them. They were out looking for her…her father, her friends. Her Lucas. And there was nothing she could do. How would they ever rescue her? How when the enemy, the dirty culprit was infiltrating them?

"No!" she let out one last painful shriek.

Derek only smirked.

"It was your party and I could cry if I wanted to", he cruelly taunted. "Who's crying now, bitch?"