Another First Time
Chapter 3: When Things Escalate...
Sakura yawned audibly and paused from writing. She had voluntarily placed herself on the tedious and rather boring ward watch instead of in the emergency or operating rooms, lest her dull headache and fatigue cause her to mess up. In the shinobi world, especially the medic field, there really was no such thing as a second chance.
But I know that already, don't I? She thought sardonically.
The relative morning quiet was broken by a loud bang. Looking up, she saw Sasuke standing at the door of her ward.
She smiled expectantly, but the grin slid off her face when she felt the cold fury rolling off him in waves.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he demanded in low tones.
Her blood ran cold at his words. "You know?"
"Tsunade-sama let is slip, thinking you would have told me. Evidently, she thought wrong." His lips twisted in a bitter smirk.
"You think I didn't want to tell you?" she whispered.
"It doesn't matter. You should've told me when you first found out," Sasuke growled.
"So my confusion, my heartbreak, it all doesn't matter? Is that what you mean?" Sakura demanded, slowly getting up from her seat.
"No, that's not what I meant. But you know how important it is to me…" Sasuke retorted.
"So that's how it is, Sasuke? I was important because of my ability to carry children?" she asked, her volume and shrillness growing with every word.
"I never said that!" Sasuke insisted, his voice rising to meet hers in volume.
"Well, you're acting like it! Do you have any idea how hard this was for me?" she all but shrieked, ignoring the curious and slightly fearful glances that her colleagues were shooting in their direction.
"All I hoped was that you'd understand, that you'd be here for me," she said, tears streaming down her flushed face.
Sasuke closed his eyes, feeling something inside him break at her words. She carried so much pain, so much sorrow, so much that it overflowed into him.
At that moment, a choice presented itself to Sasuke. Walk across the room to Sakura, and leave behind his dream of reviving his clan, letting the secret of the Sharingan die with himself, or back out the door and leave the only woman he had ever loved behind.
It was now or never. Comforting her now, giving her hope now, only to leave later, would hurt her deeper than if he just left. But he wasn't sure he could live with his decision if he walked out now.
Sakura, or his clan?
Love, or duty?
His eyelids parted to reveal black orbs full of turmoil and uncertainty. But he blinked and his eyes cleared, now displaying cold determination.
"Sakura…"
She looked up, her watery emerald eyes begging him to stay with her.
"I have always loved you, and always will," he started. "But I'm sorry…my clan has to come first."
Without a second look at her, lest his resolve weaken, he walked away, leaving the broken form of Haruno Sakura behind him.
Sakura dissolved into tears once again, her defeated self slumping back onto her seat.
Sasuke returned from his mission in record time, arriving back in Konoha just as dusk set in. It was probably partially due to the fact his clients looked so wary of him and his sour mood that they walked exponentially faster than anticipated. He had gotten them to their destination and hightailed back to Konoha, stopping when he got to the village to drop his mission scroll back at the Godaime's office.
But everything in the village reminded him of Sakura, and the happy times they had spent together. Mentally shaking his head, he headed towards the club, hoping a drink or two would muddle up his mind enough to forget about her.
He began to feel less tense after three drinks, but with his relaxation, his emotional barrier broke. Memories began to surface quicker than they had before.
He gulped down his fourth glass, gesturing for it to be refilled, while murmuring, "No regrets."
"No regrets," he repeated, his voice cracking slightly. Feeling a burning sensation at the behind his eyelids, he forced his eyes shut and emptied his glass again.
He was not going to break down. Uchiha Sasuke didn't mope over, and most certainly didn't cry over a girl. He didn't. He wouldn't.
"No regrets," he continued, feeling a rebellious tear slide down his cheek. Clenching his fists together, Uchiha Sasuke realized that breaking up with Haruno Sakura was his first regret.
Sakura had no idea how she got home. She vaguely remembered Tsunade's soothing embrace and whispered encouragement, but they were all blurred by the memory of her hot tears. She also vaguely remembered a comforting dark that had fallen over her eyes, and realized that Tsunade had probably gently knocked her out with chakra and gotten one of her friends to take her home.
Judging from the soft streetlight filtering through her translucent bedroom curtains, it was probably just after dusk. Getting up from her bed, she padded out the door, where she found Naruto and Sai chatting softly over several cans of beer.
"Sakura-chan," Naruto greeted, his characteristic brightness replaced by something a lot more forced.
Sa raised a hand at her, forgoing his usual "Hey Ugly." Team 7's "teach-Sai-to-be-tactful" lessons had obviously worked to a certain extent.
"Hey guys," she murmured, setting herself down between them and taking a swig from Naruto's can.
Sasuke's words repeated themselves over and over her head, and she found her fingers gripping the can tighter, causing the can to crumple slightly under her strong grip.
"We heard what happened," Naruto hesitantly started. "Tsunade-baachan had told us to get you home and keep an eye on you."
"Hinata-san and Ino-san just went to get us some food," Sai added.
Nodding numbly, Sakura released Naruto's can of cola and clenched her fists together instead.
"I would've done anything for him," she began unsteadily, her voice laced with pain and anger.
Naruto took one of her hands in his own, while he and Sai continued to listen to her talk.
"I would've given him enough children to revive his clan, if that was what he wanted. When this came up, I thought that I would be enough for him, enough for him to leave behind his own clan," she continued.
"But I guess I thought wrong," she bitterly finished.
"It's okay, Sakura-chan!" Naruto said, gripping her hand tighter. "Me and Hinata-chan will be here for you always. And Ino and Sai-teme will too!"
"Besides," Sai interjected, "someone like him doesn't deserve you, no matter how ugly you are."
Perhaps it was her state of emotional instability that caused her to become very touched by Sai's words, but Sakura threw herself uncharacteristically around his neck, giving him a weak, "Thank you."
Both males' eyes widened at her unexpected action. Urged on silently by Naruto, Sai hesitantly patted her on the back.
Sakura's eyes opened as she caught a strong whiff of Sai's scent. She now remembered who had brought her home the night before.
Sasuke awoke as the rays of the rising sun filtered into the room. He groggily sat up and realized immediately that something was amiss.
Firstly, his clothes were scattered on the floor, when they were usually neatly folded on a chair. Secondly, he saw that there were several articles of clothing mixed in with his own that definitely would not belong to him.
His heart jumped to his throat as he remembered what exactly he had done the night before. His eyes traveled slowly to the petite, dark-haired figure slumbering peacefully next to him. He remembered with a start that she had vividly green eyes.
Eyes that had reminded him so strongly of Sakura. So much that, perhaps his drunken mind had mistaken her for Sakura. Putting his head in his hands, Sasuke couldn't help but think, What have I done?
Weeks passed in which Sasuke and Sakura avoided each other to the best of their ability. Sasuke, shunned by the rest of the shinobi who knew about Sakura's heartbreak, merely trained from day to night and did solo missions. Sakura remained on the wards, trying to lose her troubles in a sea of patient records and medicinal charts. Her life was quite monotonous now, so Sakura was secretly quite pleased when a sixteen-year old medic chuunin under her tutelage collapsed on her shift. It gave Sakura something other than paperwork and unresponsive patients to deal with.
Testing revealed that the kunoichi, Inoue Amaya, was pregnant. A rueful smile danced upon Sakura's lips she read the file. It was the first time Sakura had ever felt jealous of one of her patients.
"Congratulations, Amaya-san! You're pregnant!" Sakura announced, with as much enthusiasm as she could muster.
"Pregnant?" Amaya faintly asked. Nodding, Sakura replied, "Very much so. I'm also supposed to notify your parents if you're under fifteen, which you're not, as well as the father. His identity will be kept strictly confidential, so no need to worry about that. Can I please have the father's name?"
A look of terror flitted across the chuunin's face. Sakura frowned. "Amaya-san, this is protocol – I have to follow it."
Amaya's mouth opened and closed, but now words came out. Finally, Amaya lowered her gaze and whispered two words.
"Uchiha Sasuke."
Sakura fainted.
The young female numbly swung her legs over the hospital bed she had been placed in. Not bothering to check out, Sakura walked quietly out of the wards and exited the hospital.
A flame of anger erupted within her as she realized that Amaya had gotten pregnant around the time she and Sasuke had broken up. Which meant that Sasuke…
Her fists clenched as she picked up her pace. She was so tired of being broken, so tired of being helpless, so tired of letting her life be controlled by Fate. Making a decision within minutes, she changed courses – instead of heading home for a good cry, like she had wanted, she headed towards the Ichiraku Ramen Stand. Like she predicted, Sai and Naruto were lounging in the brightly lit booth.
Marching right up to the two, she grabbed Sai by the wrist, not minding the half-finished bowl of ramen in front of the eighteen-year-old, and said, "Come with me."
Giving Naruto a quick half-smile, she dragged Sai off into the distance, leaving a dumbfounded Naruto behind to pick up the tab.
"Hey Ugly, what are you doing?" Sai asked, a tinge of annoyance in his otherwise emotionless voice.
"I need you for something," she replied shortly. It was then Sai noticed where she was heading – it seemed Sakura wished to go to the Hokage Tower. As to the reason why, Sai truly had no idea.
Tsunade looked quite surprised as Sakura barged into her office without knocking. Lifting an eyebrow, Tsunade said, "You need something, Sakura?"
Letting go of Sai, who immediately began to rub his wrist, Sakura turned to Tsunade, a determined glint in her eye.
"Tsunade-shishou, I request that you send me on a training mission to train for ANBU. I want Sai to teach and train me," Sakura said.
Tsunade's eyes widened in surprise. Sakura, who was a jounin, had never expressed any interest in ANBU whatsoever, so Tsunade was quite shocked that her pupil would just suddenly announce her interest in ANBU.
"Sakura," Tsunade said slowly, "did I just hear you say you want to train for ANBU?"
"Yes," Sakura answered, with no hesitation in her voice.
"But…why? And so sudden, Sakura?" Tsunade asked, bewildered. Sakura lowered her gaze, and softly replied, "Tsunade-sama…I'm…I'm just so tired of being broken. Tired of feeling so weak. And most of all…I'm so tired of healing other people's wounds when I can't even heal my own."
Tsunade's brown eyes reflected Sakura's sorrow. "Sakura-chan, did something happen?"
Sakura bit her lip. Tsunade turned to Sai and said, "Sai, can you please wait outside for a moment?"
Nodding, Sai turned and departed, letting his fathomless eyes linger over Sakura for only a moment.
"What's wrong, Sakura?" Tsunade softly asked.
"Sasuke…Sasuke got someone pregnant," Sakura softly replied, her voice betraying her hurt and anger.
"What?" Tsunade yelped, clearly unable to digest that fact.
"And it was soon after we broke up too…possibly on the same day," Sakura went on.
Tsunade sighed and rubbed her temples, understanding where her pupil was going with this.
"Tsunade-sama…you might think I'm only doing this to avoid Sasuke. And to tell you the truth, that's partially true. I really don't feel like I can face him right now. But I really am tired of being broken by the same person. I know I've gotten stronger under you; even became jounin, something I'm sure not many people thought I could achieve. But I want to become stronger…I need to become stronger. And I'm so tired of letting my emotions get the better of me. So tired of overreacting about everything…" Sakura explained.
Tsunade let out a breath, and nodded wearily. "How long are leaving for?"
Shrugging, Sakura replied, "As long as it takes for me to heal myself, and get stronger."
"Alright. I'll let you go. You've learned almost all that you can from me anyways," Tsunade laughed softly. "One last thing though. Why do you want Sai to go with you?"
Sakura smiled slightly. "Apart from my teammates, only one other person at this point in time would be willing to leave Konoha for an extended period of time, and that's Ino. But she's a teacher at the Academy; she can't just leave. Besides, my rank surpasses hers, so I doubt she can teach me anything apart from her clan jutsu. Naruto is busy training for the jounin exam, and he's got Hinata-chan to take care of now. I don't know Yamato-taichou as well as I do the others, and Kakashi-sensei has his own genin group to train. And I think I'll be able to tolerate Sai after so many years with Naruto…Sai really isn't that bad, if you ignore his horrible people skills…"
Tsunade laughed outright at that last comment, before saying, "I suppose that's true. Okay, pack your stuff while I write you a mission scroll. I'm assuming you want to leave as soon as possible?"
Sakura nodded, thankful that her mentor was as understanding as she was.
"And send Sai in on your way out, will you?" Tsunade added.
"I will. Thank you so much, Tsunade-shishou," Sakura gave Tsunade a strained smile. Tsunade returned the smile, and turned to the fresh scroll on her table.
As Sakura exited, Sai entered the room silently, his mind churning out countless possibilities as to why Sakura would suddenly demand ANBU training. Tsunade and Sakura seemed to have reached an understanding though, as Tsunade was hurriedly scribbling on what appeared to be a mission scroll.
"Sai, you are going to train Sakura until she is on par with the ANBU regulations. As of now, the only thing she really needs to work on is her ninjutsu. Her genjutsu is solid, as is her taijutsu, although the latter may need a little bit of a brush up," Tsunade instructed.
"Sakura also seemed to want intense emotional training. However," Tsunade paused, looking Sai straight in the eye. "I do not want you to put her through the emotion training that all ANBU must go through. The thing about Sakura is that while she views her emotions as her greatest weakness, I believe otherwise. Her strong emotions are what drives her to be a better kunoichi. She needs them to survive. Do you understand?"
Sai nodded, although he really didn't understand all the fuss about emotions. He knew that being able to feel could be a wonderful thing, but could also leave him in distress. Sakura always seemed to be broken by her emotions, so why in the world would Tsunade-sama want her precious pupil to be a slave to her emotions?
Sai accepted the mission scroll anyway and asked, "When do we depart?"
"Sakura should be ready now," Tsunade briskly replied. "You should pack up and head out as soon as possible."
So before the sun was up and before Uchiha Sasuke had found out the consequences of his drunken night, Haruno Sakura and Sai were out of the village of Konoha.
a/n: Sorry this chapter took longer than usual! I've been real busy with exams and such, and I hit a little snag in chapter 4 (I like to keep one chapter in reserve being posting a chapter). But that's all cleared up now...I spent all night doing that stupid last two pages of chapter 4! But it was worth it, I like the ending a lot better now.
Anyways, it is now officially the end of Sakura and Sasuke...for the readers, at least. Whether Sasuke and Sakura see it this way...you'll have to find out next XD
Please leave a review; tell me whether you liked it, hated it, whatever. Thanks for reading, and enjoy!