The cute thing

Knives sat on the porch again. The day was still new, and he could hear Vash and Meryl chatting inside. He rolled his eyes at the thought, and let his head droop in boredom. Knives was jolted from his reverie by the thud of footsteps on the porch. He looked up irritably.

"Oh hello Mr. Knives! You look so much better!" The big spider girl spoke to him in the most sickeningly bright and cheerful tone. Knives looked up in annoyance at his former employee who accompanied said female.

"Mr. Knives would you like to hold Nicky?"

Knives looked up at the girl confused, and noticing for the first time the strange moving thing in her arms. Before he could protest she shoved the baby at him and wrapped his arms around it so that it was secure. At that moment the front door opened and Vash and Meryl walked out. Greetings were passed all around and Meryl invited everyone inside.

"Nicky really likes you Mr. Knives, why don't you hold him a little longer, and I'll be right back ok!" Milly smiled and turned around, but Vash cut in nervously.

"Are you sure that's such a good idea…"

He was cut off mid sentence as Wolfwood broke in.

"Don't worry so much he'll be fine." He walked over to Knives and slapped him on the back, "Won't he Knives?"

Knives glared in response, but the priest turned and walked away with a laugh, he paused in the doorway to turn and give Knives a meaningful look. Knives shuddered a little, then it was quiet, and he was alone, with the thing.

The miniature spider regarded Knives with big blue eyes, Knives regarded it in return. The thing wiggled its arms and legs. Knives frowned. The thing flailed its hands and hit Knives in the arm. Then it squealed. Knives nearly dropped it the noise was so sudden. It squealed again as its face broke into a huge drooly grin and it flailed even more vigorously. Knives attempted to calm it down by restraining the flailing limbs, but the thing took the oportunity to bite his hand, luckily it did not seem to have any teeth. Knives was slightly disgusted by the trail of saliva that stretched from the things smiling mouth to his hand when he pulled it free.

Then things got really frightening. The thing opened its mouth and said "ooo." It was such a simple little noise really, but something about it made Knives frightened. He felt he was very dangerously close to considering it cute at that moment. It must have read his thoughts because it flailed once more, then screwed up its face and said, "Gooo…aaa..ooo." It smiled and squealed pleased with the progress, and Knives felt his innards give a pleasant twist. 'NO!' He thought desperately, 'I cannot let it infect me.' He turned his head so as to stare at a building across the street. 'If I don't look at it, it cannot affect me.'

"Gooo…bwwwwththth!"

'Not working' Knives thought desperately casting around for something to aid him. It squealed again. The sweat began to form on Knives brow as he battled against the endearing cuteness of the thing. 'That's it!" He thought and promptly leaned over and stuffed the baby under his chair. 'much better.' He thought inwardly congratulating himself. That was when his idiot brother appeared.

"Hey Knives…Aaack! Where's the baby?!"

"I don't know what you are talking about." Knives calmly responded.

Vash spotted it when it squealed. "Knives! You can't do that to a baby!"

Just then Milly walked out. Vash yelped and stood in front of the chair trying to hide the baby.

"Oh look!" she exclaimed, "How cute! Mr. Knives is playing hide and seek with Nicky!" She reached down and picked up the cooing baby, turned and walked inside.