Disclaimer- I am still not the owner of Red vs. Blue, Rooster Teeth does
A/N- Thanks to the people who reviewed the first part of the story. You guys rule! Please read and review.
Chapter Two: When Negotiations Get Really Strange
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At the blue base it was dead quiet. Everyone was staring at Tex and her two prisoners. Even Caboose had looked up from his shiny coin.
"Where did those two come from?" Church said breaking the silence.
"I found them outside our base. The pink one said they were here to steal our ammo."
"Wait a second Tex. How did you capture them if we don't have any bullets?" Tucker questioned.
Tex looked over at him and replied through clenched teeth. "They didn't know that. You asshole!"
"Oh….ha-ha..." Tucker backed away nervously.
"That's funny!" Donut spoke up. "We don't have any bullets either!"
"Blabber mouth." Grif muttered wondering if the Blues were going to keep them prisoner. He hoped they would because when Sarge found out the Blues knew they didn't have any bullets he was probably going to die. Of course if they didn't have any bullets then there wasn't much that Sarge could do. He cheered up considerably at that thought.
"So if both teams have no bullets…how are we going to fight?" Tucker questioned hoping this question wouldn't get him in trouble.
"We aren't." Church said sitting down. "How can we with no bullets?"
"Does that mean we can go back to our base?" Donut asked hopefully.
"Not a chance." Tex replied automatically bringing her gun up a little higher.
"Hey you don't have any bullets, you can't threaten us with an empty gun!"
"Dude" Church replied laughing from the couch. "You're talking to the most lethal soldier in this god forsaken canyon. She could kill you with a Popsicle stick if she wanted to or if she was in one of her usual bad moods."
"Thanks…I think." Tex replied as Grif and Donut shrunk back a little bit. "But what are we going to do with them?"
"I say we try to trade them for something." Tucker said. "Maybe they have money or something at their base."
"Sounds better then nothing. Let's go to the Red base then." Church said getting of the couch.
"Awesome, Road trip!" Caboose called out happily. The rest of the team used to his random outbursts ignored him. The Blue team marched their two prisoners out of the base.
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At the Red base Sarge was trying to get the Red command on the radio to order more ammo. He seemed to be having some trouble getting through the answering machine though. Simmons was standing watch on the top of the base. He was just wondering what was taking Grif and Donut so long when he noticed the group of people walking towards the base. Seeing who the group was Simmons called into the base.
"Sarge, the Blues are coming!"
Sarge came onto the top of the base. "Where are those Blue devils and what the heck are they doing here?"
"I don't know sir, but they have Grif and Donut with them."
Just then the Blues stopped within talking distance of the Red Base.
"Hey, Red's!" Church yelled out. "We have your soldiers! What will you give us for them?"
Simmons turned to Sarge. "Are we going to trade for them sir?"
Sarge thought over this deeply or pretended to. On one side they were outnumbered but on the other side Grif wasn't there. Being outnumbered won out. "Very well ask them what their demands are Simmons."
"What to you want for them Blues??" Simmons called out.
"What do you have?"
"Um….I think we have a turkey in the freezer."
Everyone was silent as the Blues discussed this.
"Nah, we don't want a turkey." Church called out. "Got anything else?"
"No not really."
More muffled talking.
"Fine we'll take the turkey."
"Okay Simmons will be out with the turkey in two minutes." Sarge yelled down. "If you feel compelled to shoot one of the prisoners shoot Grif."
The Blue team decided not to mention that this would be impossible for them without bullets.
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Soon Simmons was outside the base feeling stupid carrying out a turkey.
"Ha it's a turkey holding a turkey!" Tucker laughed at his horrible joke as they watched Simmons walk closer.
"Oh, shut up Tucker." Tex said giving him a whack on the head. "We're trading two hostages for a turkey! Am I the only one seeing how stupid this is?"
"Hey, we don't have that much here." Grif commented. "It was probably that or Donut's magazine collection."
"Hey, those are mine!" Donut replied. "They're also collectibles."
"Right….."
At that moment Simmons reached the team.
"Okay here's the turkey. Now just let Grif and Donut go. Though Sarge said he'd give you the option of keeping Grif."
"Nice to see you too Simmons." Grif replied sarcastically. "Let's just go back now."
"Hey wait." Tucker said. "If you guys don't have any bullets we could just take the three of you as hostages."
"You guys don't have any either." Donut said earning Tucker another hit on the head from Tex.
"What did I do?" Tucker exclaimed rubbing his head as no one paid him any attention.
"What do you mean they don't have any bullets Grif?" Simmons asked
"What do you think I mean?"
"I'm getting Sarge."
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Soon Sarge was there and the two teams explained the situation they were in. It took a couple of times before they gave up on trying to explain it to Caboose.
"Well this is weird." Church said breaking the silence that had fallen.
"I can't stand this!" Sarge burst out. "We have to do something!"
"Oh I know! We can have a fashion show!" Donut called out. "Or a bake off!"
There was another pause of silence.
"That's not a bad idea private." Sarge said after a while.
"Are you joking Sarge?" Simmons asked
"Think about Simmons. If we can't fight the Blues then we should have contests. That way we can prove that we can crush those Blue jackals."
The Blues were looked at each other.
"Um you know we're standing here, right?" Church spoke up. The Red's ignored him.
"Oh we should have a singing contest or a sewing circle or a cake baking contest, I love cake!" Donut chattered on cheerily. He was happy that his ideas were being taken seriously for once.
"So it's decided. We'll have some sort of contest in the middle of the canyon in an hour. Be there Blues or else!" Sarge said taking charge of the situation again. With that the Red Team walked back to their base. Leaving the Blue team standing out in the canyon holding a turkey…..
"What the hell was that about?" Church said voicing the entire team's thoughts.
...oh yah, they were really confused as well.
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Well I hope you liked the chapter. Before you ask I really don't know where the turkey came from. It just seemed weird enough. Anyway please review! Any suggestions for the contest in the next chapter would be welcomed.
