Disclaimer- Still don't own Red vs. Blue. Believe me, if I did, there'd be more episodes out.
A/N- Thanks for the reviews! I hope you like the chapter.
Chapter Seven: One Way Ticket
Tex rolled her eyes as she looked around the room. "Caboose get over here, now."
"Okay!" Caboose replied merrily and started to walk over to Tucker and Tex. "This is so cool. They said I was a prisoner! I always wanted to be one of those!"
"Caboose, shut up." Tucker said.
"Hey you can't just steal our prisoner." Simmons protested. "Give him back."
Tucker turned to Tex. "Tex, this is our chance to get rid of Caboose for good. Let the Red's have him."
"Am I the only one wondering why we're fighting over Caboose?" Grif asked leaning against a wall. "I mean really….it's Caboose. We should let them keep him as and as punishment they can have Donut too."
"Hey!"
"Shove a stick in it dirtbag." Sarge replied to Grif's comment. "We have them surrounded. There's nothing those Blue jackals can do now."
"Um what's going on?" Church and Carolina had just arrived behind the Red's.
"Okay we're outnumbered. Can we go back to the base now?" Grif asked.
"We are the Red team soldier." Sarge yelled. "We do not retreat."
Tex fired a shot over his head and he hastily continued. "But we do however make tactical withdrawals. Back to the base men!"
"Hey wait for me!" Ohio exclaimed running after her brother. "Isn't this awesome Dexter? I can stay with you now."
"Please someone just shoot me now." Grif's voice came drifting from the hallway.
…
"So where's Wyoming?" Tex turned to Church once the Red's were gone.
"Oh, he's locked in a closet without his gun." Church replied. "Carolina knocked him out."
Tex looked over at Carolina who was talking to York. "Good. But what are we going to do with him?"
"We could shoot him." Church suggested hopefully.
"Nah, that's too easy."
"You're passing up the opportunity to shoot someone?"
"What do you mean by that?" Tex shot a glare at him.
"Nothing, nothing!"
"Oh I know!" Caboose broke into the conversation. "Let's put him in a closet!"
"Caboose he's in a closet." Tucker sighed.
"Oh." Caboose thought hard. "Then let's put him in….another closet!"
"NO CABOOSE!" The three soldiers replied warily.
"Fine." Caboose replied sulkily and then went over to annoy Carolina and York.
Church turned when he heard someone laughing and discovered it was Tex.
"Okay…what's so funny?"
"I have an idea." Church could have sworn he could see the evil grin on her face through her helmet.
--
"So again. What are we doing?" Tucker asked staring at the panels on the ship's control panel.
"Were turning on the autopilot." York replied as he was connecting wires together.
"Were sending Wyoming as far as this junk heap will take him." Carolina laughed.
"Good." Church replied. "Though it would have been easier if we had just shot him."
"Yes but this way he could starve to death. Like anyone else if they get left on the ship." Tex replied. "What?" Everyone was looking at her….nervously.
"I think I'll wait off the ship." Tucker remarked quickly. For all he knew Tex could be planning to leave him on the ship.
Ironically the rest of the Blue team seemed to be thinking this and soon Tucker, Church and Caboose were all waiting outside.
"That got rid of them." Tex smirked as York rolled his eyes.
……
"There that should do it." York said after a moment. "He's now on a one way trip to…." He looked over at Carolina who was looking through the maps.
"Sidewinder."
"Okay, we have ten minutes." Tex checked the timer that was set up.
"Let's get out of here."
-- -- --
"Can we leave now?" Tucker complained as they stood outside the ship.
"We're waiting for Tex." Church replied while ignoring both of his soldiers.
"You wait, she's your girlfriend."
"For the last time! She's not my girlfriend!"
"You two broke up again!" Church turned quickly to see Carolina walking with York and Tex out of the ship.
"Ha, told you. You owe me lunch." Carolina gave York a push.
"Damn." York muttered.
"What are the two talking about?" Church asked looking at the two soldiers suspiciously.
"Nothing." Carolina said a little too quickly.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
"Come on guys! Let me in!" Ohio was pounding on the door of the Red base. "This isn't funny. I want to join your team!"
"Um…Ohio." Kappa popped up. "I don't think this is intended as a joke."
"Oh of course they're joking Kappa. My brother wouldn't lock me out on purpose."
"Yes, I would." Grif called out from the top of the base. "And I did. GO AWAY!"
"Oh, come on!"
"Oh just let her in already." Simmons said walking over with Sarge.
"No. She's not coming in."
Unfortunately for Grif, Sarge was struck by a sudden idea. "Wait. If she joins our team then we'll out number those Blue jackals!" He turned to Grif. "Open the door for our new recruit."
"Fine." Grif muttered walking down.
"And order some more bullets too."
"Whatever"
---------
"Hi Dexter!" Ohio said happily. "Can I join your team?"
Grif sighed this was not going to be fun. "Sarge says you can."
"Awesome!"
Grif rolled his eyes, just when he thought Blood Gulch couldn't get any worse.
-------------------------------------------------
The Blue team was watching the ship fly away.
"Do you think he even knew that thing had autopilot?" Tex asked. "I mean he wouldn't have to have Ohio around to fly and annoy him all the time."
"What can I say?" York laughed. "Wyoming is an idiot."
Tucker, now that the danger of him getting left on a ship had passed was doing what he did best. Hitting on people, and so on their way back to the Blue base…
"Oh come on."
"I told you if you don't shut up I'll shoot you."
"Hey what's going on?" York asked walking over.
"Nothing much. This idiot keeps hitting on me." Carolina pointed to Tucker.
"Hey, stay away from my girlfriend!" York frowned at Tucker.
"What! No one told me that." Tucker decided that it would be best for his health if he got away quickly.
….
"How come you didn't tell me she was dating someone?" Tucker asked Tex when they were in view of the base.
"I was hoping one of them would shoot you." Tex said calmly while Church laughed.
"Hey guys!" Caboose came running up from the base. "There's a ship there and Shelia's back!!"
"Hey maybe we can get a ride out of here." York said as he and Carolina walked over.
……
"Hello everyone. It is good to be back." Shelia was off the ship now.
"Shelia, I missed you!" Caboose exclaimed happily trying to give the tank a hug.
Tex and Church were on the hill saying goodbye to York and Carolina.
"Watch out for Wyoming, Tex." Carolina said.
"Like he could do anything." Tex scoffed. "That guy's pathetic."
"Hey, he captured me." York protested.
There was a silence and York rolled his eyes. "Never mind. See you Tex, Church. Good luck fighting the Red's…or whatever you guys do here."
"You mean nothing." Church muttered as the two soldiers walked into the ship.
"Church, Church!" Caboose called from the base. "Have you seen the muffins I made Sheila?"
"No." Church replied.
"Oh, the muffins in the fridge?" Tucker walked over. "I ate those."
"You do realize that Caboose put motor oil in those, right?" Tex asked him.
"Eh, they weren't that bad." Tucker shrugged as he started to walk down to the base. "Come on Caboose. Let's go make some more muffins."
"Okay, Shelia will love them!"
Church rolled his eyes. "Looks like things are back to normal."
"They're idiots." Tex scoffed.
"Yah but they're our idiots." Church put his arm around Tex's shoulder.
"Bow-chicka-wow-wow" Tucker popped up from behind them.
"God damn it, how do you do that!" Church shouted at Tucker who was laughing. "I knew it!"
At least he was until Tex grabbed her gun. "Get back here!"
Soon Church was watching Tex chase Tucker around the base, shooting at him. There was also smoke coming from the kitchen where Caboose seemed to be trying to cook a package of flour.
Church chuckled. Yes things were definitely back to normal.
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Well I hope you all liked my story! I had alot of fun writing it.
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