I was a little surprised how half the comments (In other words, 2) on the first chapter, as of typing this, related how funny the Death Note Pirate Hat was.

I should take this chance to note, pun intended, thaat this will be rather short compared to my previous 10-normal-chapter (plus two filler chapters) Naruto Cast YATF. There's just not as many characters, I mean, 9 out of 10 chapters in the manga are about Whoever happens to be around Light. Unlike Naruto. That focuses on whoever happens to be around Sasuke. grumble

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"Yell at the fandom?" Near inquired, a bit perplexed.

Light explained the concept. "It's been done before. Ryuk and I will demonstrate. There's a webcam in the corner over there, what we say is currently being broadcast on to the internet."

"You humans can be both interesting…and completely disgusting!" Ryuk added. If Ryuk ever saw the faces of the people who wrote Yaoi of HIM, there'd be hell to pay.

"Let's begin, Ryuk. Put the apple cider down."

Ryuk didn't want to. "No! It's like…What do you call it? It's like…not alcohol, but some addictive solid made into an addictive liquid."

"Bongwater?" Ide offered.

"You'll have to tell me what that is later, but it DOES sound like something that would be invented sooner or later!" Ryuk replied. There wasn't much Ryuk knew about human drug habits. Sure, he'd given a Death Note to a guy who was drunk out of his mind before, just to see what would happen, but that was about it. What followed after that became known to humans as "World War I". Ryuk was in hysterics over that one for months.

Light butted in then. "Let's go already! Right, Right, Right. First of all, Show of hands everyone, who here is gay?"

No hands were raised.

"YA SEE THAT? NO ONE HERE IS A 'SEME' NO ONE HERE IS AN 'UKE'!" Light roared at the Webcam. "AND NO, BUTTBABIES ARE NOT MADE, M-PREG IS IMPOSSIBLE, GET OVER IT!"

"Yeah! Misa's Light-kun is straight, he loves Misa!" It was obvious who said that in the small crowd of people. Only one girl spoke in 3rd person.

"EXCUSE ME?" Takada yelled at Misa. "LIGHT'S MINE, YOU LITTLE SLUT!"

"SLUT? MISA'S NOT A SLUT, SHE DRESSES LIKE THIS BECAUSE SHE HAS FANS WHO LIKE HER BECAUSE SHE'S MISA, NOT BECAUSE SHE'S KIRA'S SPOKESBITCH!"

"YOU DID NOT JUST CALL ME A BITCH!"

"This is what you humans call a catfight, right?" Ryuk asked Light.

"No, A catfight is when they-"

"PUNCH SMACK WHACK BITCHSLAP HAIR-YANK SCRATCH SCRATCH POKE WHANG!"

"-Do that." Ligth finished, facepalming. "Okay, those two aside, Since we're on the age old woe of anime characters, gay pairings, I'd have to be pretty damn mad. I mean, Every single person I'm paired with is someone I WANT TO KILL! YOU HEAR ME? KILL, NOT SCREW!"

"Wait, what was that 'whang' noise from Misa and Takada?" Matsuda asked, not having been able to see the fight.

"I think it was an aluminum folding chair." Someone in the back added.

"WAIT YOUR TURN!" Light practically bellowed, now very annoyed with all the interruptions. At least L and the Wannabe L brigade were keeping their mouths shut. Or mostly shut, L and Mello were devouring chocolate cake together.

"Okay, Off topic, I wanna know why some of these guys are so popular. I mean, Mello's so freakin' girly! Why does he get fangirls? Or you know, the question should be, Who's the gay one? Us, the guys who wanna kill each other, or the fangirls who obsess over the girliest looking men they can!?" Light was nearly yelling now.

Ryuk pushed Light out of the way though. "I wanna talk now! And hey, to answer your question, maybe it's because the fans can actually comprehend your name! It's written as "Tsuki" but pronounced "Raito" in Japan for crying out loud! That's like naming someone Robert and calling him Bob!"

"Uh, Actually…" Matsuda piped up, "That's…pretty common in English-speaking countries."

"…….You humans make no sense at all. But I think you're a pretty amusing bunch to watch. I mean, take Light." Ryuk was amused, recalling a particularly funny period of time. "Back when he first got the Death Note, he would write furiously, and with all sorts of flourish, so much so he'd actually overwork hiself and tire out!"

--Begin Flashback Sequence--

Light was sitting at his desk, writing, just as Ryuk described, with all the force in his body, going faster and faster and faster with each name. "Hah…Hah…" He was even panting, for god's sake!

"This is the closest thing you have to sex, isn't it?" Ryuk joked.

--End Flashback Sequence--

Matsuda was giggling like a little boy who heard someone else fart, L looked actually quite amused, Ryuk picking on Light was rather funny to watch.

"Okay Okay, jesus….Ugh, I lost my train of thought, one of you guys take over!" Light yanked the microphone away from Ryuk and threw it at the rest of the cast…

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So ends Chapter 1. I really don't have anything to say down here, I wonder how those other authors always come up with things to say. That's kinda frightening…I can think up dialogue for anime characters but not myself!