Hoooo…that was one unnecessarily long break. It took longer then I thought due to family trouble, but I now have the means to resume writing. There probably won't be many more chapters, maybe 1 or 2, then the epilogue, but hey, the Death Note characters don't have as much character depth as other animes. Do we know what ANYONE'S life was like prior to the series, excluding the fact of L, Matt, Near, and Mello being at Wammy's house? No. So it's much harder to lampoon.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Nine days after it was thrown, the microphone beaned Takada in the head, knocking her out.
"YAY! Light-kun helped his Misa out!," A certain hyperactive blonde bubbled. "I knew he preferred me to that nasty bitch!"
Cue Collective Sweatdrop.
Matt was the first to speak. "I have never seen a microphone go that high into the air. Impressive arm-strength, Kira." He grabbed the microphone off the floor. "While, in some regards, I do like how much attention I've been given to by the fans, especially the fact they tend to color me in such a way as to not make me look like a bad Christmas Story Character from the 70's, yes, I refer to my anime color-scheme, but I'm not too fond of all the MattxMello floating around."
"Agreed!" Added the effeminate boy. "WHAT DID THAT NON-SPEECH TEXT JUST SAY!?"
"Excuse me?" Matt blinked.
Near hadn't said anything for a while. Mostly out of a mix horror, exasperation, and outright surprise. Very little was making sense. He quietly muttered "What Text?" however.
Matt continued on, meanwhile. "Yes, I smoke. I got addicted to tobacco a few years back, much like L is to Sugar, Mello to Chocolate, and Near to um…acting like a little kid sometimes."
"I resent that."
"You're hallucinating this because you were playing pirate."
"…..Point taken."
"If I may Continue…" Matt trailed on, "I'd like to draw attention to my lack of screentime. Or Paneltime, as it were. I admit, I'm by no means a major character, but please, Raye Penber's girlfriend got more time then I did. And I don't even remember her NAME."
"She was his fiance!" Piped up the same random person who'd earlier explained what the "WHANG" sound effect in Misa and Takada's earlier catfight was.
"That just proves my point further, I don't even remember what her actual character significance WAS." Matt said, pointing out the facts.
"Can Misa have her turn now?"
"Oh, yes." Matt, being courteous to Misa, simply handed over the microphone at that point. He could just take it back later.
Ide raised the skin over his eyes where his eyebrows should have been in mild surprise. It wasn't often chivalry was seen, especially in such a morbid story like Death Note.
Misa immediately launched into a song, complete with J-pop music, about how much she loved Light. Where the music came from, and how long she sang was unconfirmed, but when Near finally woke up, the equivalent time of 4 days had passed, judging on the beard stubble growing on some people's faces.
Matsuda was really the only one who sat awake through the whole thing, and clapped at the very end. "That was really impressive, MisaMisa!"
"Okay, how the hell did you stay awake through that?" Ryuk inquired. "That was worse then some of the Shinigami torture's that I've seen others get into." He took a bite out of an apple, ignoring whatever response Matsuda had.
"I liked her singing! It was like a private concert!" Saintly as ever, Matsuda, strangely, was one of the only two people not to grow any facial hair. Mello was the other, he simply didn't produce enough testosterone.
"Now, Misa would like to wonder why people are always making fun of her! She's just sweet and devoted to her Light-kun, it's not anything else!"
"You dress suggestively." Ide plainly stated.
"I have to, it's the best way to get publicity, and I do it for Light-kun!"
"He's into that sort of thing, Misa?"
"Shut up, L." Light growled out.
Ide was quick to rebuke, though. "And you sound like you have a speech impediment."
"I do not!"
"Well…'Meesa' and "Misa" sound the same…" Matsuda offered, trying to help Ide.
"And the 3rd person way of speaking grates on my nerves almost as much as Episode 1 did." Near spoke this time, chipping in. Hey, he had to have watched Star Wars at some point.
Misa put down the microphone and went over to Light, pouting. "Misa's not talking anymore if they just make fun of her!"
Light sent the others a glance That CLEARLY said "You suck, now I have to deal with her."
The others ignored Light entirely, ready to listen to someone else speak for a change.
----------------------------
I do hope I got things accurate enough. I couldn't resist the old "Whatever was going on when the long break between updates began took an insane amount of time" joke.