Part 4

He ran. He had no idea where he was going, and he didn't even really notice when he went topside. He just ran, leaping one rooftop after another until, finally, he stopped. Breathing hard, he stared blankly at his surroundings, as though expecting comfort and reassurance to jump out of the shadows. And answers.

Neither came.

With a moan of anguish, he gripped the ledge of the roof, squeezing his eyes shut. Escaping the Lair had done nothing, and the pain of betrayal in his soul was so intense, he was sure he was going to die. He blinked. If he was feeling this way, then how was Leo feeling?

Oh God, this was all so much worse than he had anticipated. What was he supposed to do? Leo was right, it truly would destroy their family if this got out…

"Donny?"

Don spun around, dropping into a fighting stance, and then blinked in surprise. "A…April? Casey? What…?"

He looked around in confusion, then truly saw for the first time where he was. The roof of April's building. But how had they…. Oh right. The security system he had installed to alert her to any surprise guests.

"Yo, Donny."

He looked back to find his two human friends looking at him in concern. "You okay, man?" Casey asked as April moved up next to Don.

"Donny, you're shaking!" she exclaimed as she put a hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong?" The worry in her eyes deepened. "Did something happen? Are the guys okay?"

Donny looked away, nodding and biting his lip even as his heart cried out its despair.

"Then, what is it, Don?" April asked gently.

Donny squeezed his eyes shut, a choked sob pushing its way past his lips.

"Don?" April's voice held an alarmed note and, suddenly, Donny was in her arms, clinging to her and sobbing. Instinctively, April wrapped her arms around him, holding him close and cooing to him softly, comfortingly.

When his sobs finally died down, April whispered, "Come on downstairs, Don. I'll make us some tea and we can talk."

Don let himself be guided off the roof and down to her apartment. He dropped onto the couch, feeling exhausted both mentally and physically. He closed his eyes, putting a hand over them as he tried to fend off a headache.

When April returned, he accepted the tea, sipping slowly and savouring the warmth that flooded him. "What's going on, Donny?" April asked gently as she sat down next to him, watching him closely.

Casey, who had disappeared when Donny had broken down up on the roof, had now reappeared and was sitting quietly in the armchair. Don stared into his tea, not quite sure how to respond.

"I…I…"

April put a hand on his arm, rubbing soothingly. "It's okay, Don," she murmured kindly. "Take your time."

Don closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "A…about four months ago," he began in a whisper, "Leo told me something in confidence that made me realize that he…that he wasn't all right mentally. He needed help, but he wouldn't go to Splinter. I…I've been trying to help him, but he's just been getting worse. A couple of days ago, we had an argument after he showed me a secret place of his. It's a place he goes to whenever he's been forced to kill someone so he can honour them."

He paused as he once again considered his suspicions regarding all the candles, but then shook himself and continued.

"I told him that if he wouldn't talk to Splinter, that I would. That I'd tell him everything I knew, even if it wasn't much. I gave him three days to talk to father. To get help."

He stopped again and took a deep, shuddering breath. "Tonight, I…I learned something by accident. Something that's just so…." He trailed off, and shook his head. "Leo's more disturbed than I feared. I…."

Don's voice broke, his eyes filling with tears as he gave April a desperate look. "God, April! I don't know what to do!"

"What's happening, Don?" April questioned. "What did you find out, and can't you go to Splinter like you planned?"

Don shook his head before resting it in his hands. "I can't say and I can't tell. It would devastate father. Destroy our family."

"What could possibly be so bad that it would do that?" Casey asked in bewilderment, finally speaking up.

Don didn't answer, his mind racing as he desperately searched for an answer. He couldn't go to Splinter now, not with this new development. It wouldn't give Leo the help he truly needed. So, how could he help him? He doubted their… 'brothers' knew Leo's history. Though, if they did, would they still be committing their atrocious acts? Would they even care?

Don had to be the only one who knew how sick Leo was…the only one who knew his history. But, he didn't know everything and it had become crystal clear that he needed to know everything if he were to have any chance of helping his brother. But he knew perfectly well that Leo wouldn't tell him everything he needed to know. Not here anyway, surrounded by the family…

He looked up, directing his now determined gaze on Casey. "Casey, do you think I could borrow the farmhouse for a while? I need to get Leo away from here."

Casey nodded. "Yeah, of course, bro. Take as long as you need. When do you want to leave?"

"At first light. I'll need to clear it with father, but I'm sure he won't object."

"We'll get some supplies ready for you then." April said and Don looked at her gratefully.

"Thank you," he murmured. "I don't know what we'd do without you two. You…you're both so good to us."

"Hey," April replied with a gentle smile, taking his hand and squeezing. "We're family, remember? We'd do anything for you guys."

Don let a shaky smile pass his lips as he squeezed her hand back. "I'd better go," he said, standing. "They're probably wondering where I am. I'll call and let you know when it's a definite go."

April nodded and stood as well, embracing him. Don let himself linger in her comforting arms for a moment, then pulled away, waving to Casey before he left via the window and headed for home.

"Hey, bro!" Mikey exclaimed when Don entered the Lair a short time later. "Where ya been? You didn't take your shell cell and we were starting to get worried what with the way you ran out of here."

"Out," Donny replied coldly. He started to pass his 'brother,' stopped and gave him a deadly serious look as he said, "By the way, Michelangelo… If you ever take anything of mind without asking again, I'll break your hands. You get me?"

Mikey, hearing the tone in his brother's voice and seeing the deadly serious look in his eyes, took a quick step back, eyes wide. "Uh…sure thing, Donny."

Don continued on his ways, making straight for Splinter's room, ignoring Raphael, who was watching him curiously from the couch. He knocked and entered at the soft command from within.

"Donatello," Splinter greeted, clearly pleased and relieved to see him. "Are you all right, my son? We were starting to worry."

"No, father, I'm not okay," Don replied as he knelt before Splinter and bowed his head.

"What troubles you, my son?" Splinter asked gently.

Don hesitated for only a second before replying. "Leo. Father, I…I know what's going on with him. Or, at least, I know enough to be really disturbed. The thing is, I can't tell you what it is, even though I desperately want to."

"And why can you not tell me what it is, Donatello?" Splinter asked calmly.

"A few reasons," Donny replied. "The most important being that I don't know everything that's happened and he needs to tell you himself. I actually gave him until tomorrow to come and talk to you, but something…new developed."

He paused, taking a calming breath before continuing. "What I'm trying to say, father, is that I think I can help him, but not here. I've talked to Casey and he's agreed to let me use the farmhouse. So, if you'll give your blessing, Master, I'd like to take Leo up there, just the two of us. I think I stand a better chance of reaching him if it's just me and him."

Splinter nodded immediately. "I think that is an excellent idea, Donatello," he approved. "Especially if you believe you can reach your brother."

"We may be gone a good long while, father," Don said hesitantly. "Leo has some pretty deep issues to work through and it could take a while for him to actually open up to me…."

Splinter held up his hand, understanding in his eyes. "It is all right, my son. It is your brother's well being at stake, take as much time as you need. When do you wish to leave?"

"At first light if possible. April and Casey are getting supplies ready for us. They're just waiting for me to call with the green light."

Splinter nodded. "Very well. Go and ready yourself for your departure. And send Leonardo in here. I shall inform him of this trip myself."

Don bowed and left the room, again ignoring Raph and Mikey as he sought Leonardo out. He found the elder turtle in, of course, the Dojo. Though he wasn't really doing anything other than sitting in a meditation pose, staring blankly at the floor. At Don's entrance, however, he raised his gaze, looking at his brother with an unreadable expression.

"Splinter wants to talk to you," Don said quietly, watching Leo's expression close up even further. "Relax," he muttered, feeling like he was talking to a stranger. "I didn't tell him anything."

When Leo didn't say anything, Don turned and left the room, heading to his lab to call April and finalize his plans.

Leo stood outside the door to Splinter's room, feeling like he was headed for the gallows. 'Quit being stupid!' he berated himself. 'Don said he didn't tell and Don doesn't lie. Father probably just wants to talk or something.'

He sighed, took a deep breathed and knocked. He entered and knelt down before his master and father, head bowed. "You wished to see me, father?"

"Yes, my son. Donatello tells me he knows what it is that troubles you."

Leo froze, his mind screaming in rage and fear that Don had, in fact, betrayed him. Before he could say anything, though, Splinter continued.

"He would, however, not tell me what it was."

Leo kept his head bowed, his eyes closing in relief. 'Knew I could count on you, Donny,' he thought, trying to calm his racing heart.

"He believes," Splinter was saying, "that he can help you and has requested permission to take you to the farmhouse. A request that I have wholeheartedly agreed to."

Leo looked up sharply, unable to hide his surprise. "What? Father, don't I get a choice in this?"

Splinter smiled gently, but there was look in his eyes that put Leo on full alert. It was that look his father got when trying to turn the tables on his sons and catch them at something.

"Of course you do, my son. You have two choices. You may either choose to accompany your brother and allow him to help you through this, or you may choose to talk to me right now and allow your family to support you."

Leo held Splinter's gaze for only a few seconds before lowering his eyes. Dammit! He was trapped and they both knew it. 'Damn you, Donny…'

When, after several minutes of silence, it became obvious that Leo was not going to speak, Splinter sighed and said, "You leave a first light, Leonardo. Go and prepare what you will need."

Leo briefly considered protesting, but knew it would do no good. He bowed low, then silently left the room. Instead of going to pack, however, he headed directly out of the Lair, breaking into a run once he was in the tunnel system.

He headed topside the very instant he was able to, and allowed himself to become lost in a good, hard run. He didn't know how long he ran, and it was only when he finally slowed that thoughts returned to him.

'Damn you, Donatello! Why can't you just leave it alone?'

Why couldn't his brother understand that everything was happening as it should? Why couldn't Don understand that Leo had to pay?

'I have to pay, Donny. This little trip of yours isn't going to change that. I have to pay for my weakness. For being so easily seduced.'

He closed his eyes as the ghostly echoes of a voice, begging for mercy, floated through his mind. 'For being a cold blooded monster.'

He opened his eyes and, suddenly realizing where he was, stepped back further into the shadows, silently berating himself. He was directly across from Foot Headquarters! Dammit! Why did he have to end up here of all places? Especially in his current mood.

'Why always here?'

He briefly entertained the idea of going to pick a fight, but common sense quickly overrode that thought.

'One turtle against a few hundred Foot Soldiers, not to mention the Techs, the Elite and whatever else they've been working on. Yeah, that'll go over well,' he thought sardonically.

Sighing and resigning himself to the fact that this little impromptu trip was going to happen whether he liked it or not, Leo turned to leave. But, the sight of Karai, standing on her balcony and gazing out over the city, caught his attention and delayed his departure. The temptation to pick a fight swept through him again and a little smile crept past his lips as he remembered the last time they had met.

It had been so easy to slip in and wipe the floor with her. Of course, the result of that little encounter was that she was more determined than ever to kill them all, even though she had yet to strike at them. The smile grew a little as he thought that, perhaps, she was in no hurry to meet his Katana again.

Perhaps the daughter was not as vicious as the father after all. Especially now that the father was no longer around. Perhaps he should just eliminate her now. Remove her as the threat he knew she was and prove that she was not worthy of being the right hand of the Shredder. Nor of being the Shredder….

His eyes widened and he drew in a sharp breath. Oh God, what was he thinking? Maybe getting out of the city for a while really was a good idea. Taking a deep, shaky breath, he gave Karai one last look, then turned and vanished into the night.