Author's Note: This is my first fanfic, so no flames please. I got this idea for not really any reason but eet ees funny so RR, eef you please.
Disclaimer: I don't own code lyoko….yak yak yak yak yak…… so let's skip this crap and get to business
Warnings: explicit language such as repeated use of the words hobo and crap
Other author's note: In all my fics, i will have an OC named TJ.
TJ's bio
Age: 18
Bio: Grew up in new york. his dad was a drug dealer , and moved to france after his dad was arrested and was enrolled in kadic academy (dont ask why) (also is really buff)
It's Time For….Random Scrambled Eggs!
(TV makes static-y noise and turns on)
"Good morning, all you third world countries! Welcome to the "Good Morning Third World countries Show"! I'm your host, TJ! And this is your other host, some-hobo-i-picked-up-off-the-road!" (Ulrich gives him evil-eye)
"Um, yes, and today we have a special program! Today is pirate day!"(camera goes back to TJ)
"Yes, today is the day that some screwed up guy called "hobo-with-red-beaard beat up a hobo who wanted to sell him a ninja star! Another-hobo-i-picked-up-off-the-road has the story!" (Yumi flips tj off and appears on the screen dressed up as a pirate)
"Arrr, maties! this be here a great program!" (goes to TJ)
"Cut the crap, hobo."
"Okay. This dock is the spot where red-hobo-beard beat the frickin crap out of the merchant who was trying to sell him ninja stars. I have with me a descendent of this man, his 95 year old great-great grandson. Can you tell us your name, sir?"
"You say this is Walgreens? Where's my ointment?"
"No, your NAME sir."
"It turned blue forty years ago!"
"Would please tell us your name! I haven't emotionally crippled anyone today and I'm feeling cranky!"
"You say your selling gas stoves? I'll take 29 pounds of ground beef!" (Yumi sighs)
"TJ?" (goes back to TJ)
"Well, that's close enough! We'll be right back after this commercial break!"
commercial
(some guy in a suit jumps on screen)
guy: hey, all you fat, lazy hobos out there! Are you a fat, lazy hobo who has too much time on his hands?
Fat guy standing in background: Maybe….
Guy: Well, why don't you go on….. "THE LARD DIET!"
fat guy: Oh, that sounds great! (throws aside donut and starts gorging down bucket-o-lard)
guy: See, folks! He's lovin' it!
Guy and fat guy (unison): "It's delicious, just like that!
Call 1-800-HEART-ATTACK! Yeah!
End commercial
"Hey all you dumb ass hobos! Welcome back to the show!" (goes to Ulrich)
"Now we bring you our top story: Donald Trump has resolved to no longer say that your fired! We have here an exclusive video of a press conference with Donald Trump. Warning: this has explicit footage of Donald trump not saying that your fired. (goes to video, where Jeremie is dressed up as Donald Trump and Odd and Aelita are sitting in front of him wearing business suits)
Video
"Lisa, I have something to tell you. You're f-ffff-ff-fff-f-fBEEPing up you job, so I'm going to have ff-fff-f-fff-ff-fBEEPk up you. I have to llll-ll-l-lllll-let you go." (Turns to Odd) "Odd, you're the director of human resources, go and ff-ff-ffffff-ff-fff-fBEEPk her." (Odd looks surprised)
"Are you sure, sir?"
"YES! Now get moving unless you want to be fff-ff-ffffff-ffff-fBEEPed too!" (Odd hurries out of room with Aelita, and awkward silence falls over)
End video
(Ulrich mops brow) "Well, that was interesting! Now it's time for-you've all been waiting for it- the RASH of the day! Today we're going to look at the Faticus Blobulia Pantalonesa rash! Now this rash is extremely interesting because it only appears on extremely fat people- (is cut off by TJ)
"Um, Ulrich, we have such a packed program that we should probably skip the rash of the day, hm?"
"Um, I guess so. Well, here is our next big story- George Bush does something constructive and time-worthy that has a point! Not that we know what it was! (A/N: No offense to any republicans out there) Our reporter, hobo-that-I-decided-to-spare, has the whole story!" (Aelita also flips Ulrich off)
"Yes, I'm here with the George Bush in his office! So, george, what exactly did you do?"
"I organized a fundraiser for Africans."
"Really! For what? Malaria? Starvation?"
"No, money to give put in a McDonalds there. Isn't that just damn GREAT??!!" (goes back to TJ and Ulrich)
"You did not just see that! To conclude our program, we're going to square dance to "Millionaire's Hoedown" with our camera-hobos!"
(Every one starts dancing and screen goes static-y)
Well, what d'you think? More chapters coming, I promise. R&R, please. NO FLAMES PLEASE