Nerdwithagun: I know….I know….I haven't updated any of my stories in a while….but I am inspired to be random, so I will fulfill my life's calling and BE RANDOM!!!!
It's Time For….Random Scrambled Eggs
Ulrich was walking along one morning. He was walking. Walking he was. All of a sudden, he noticed that he was a fish. "I AM A FISH!!!!" he exclaimed happily.
"No your not!!!!" screamed a rampaged Barry Bonds as he bitch slapped Ulrich. He bitch slapped Ulrich. Bitch slap Ulrich he did. Ulrich, now sad and discouraged walked along glumly.
As he was walking along, he met up with Odd. He met up with Odd. Met up with-(Here the author, nerdwithagun, is murdered by his biggest fan, Ghetto Man, because he was tired of that stupid joke. FOO! But nerdwithagun rises from the dead, and by the power invested in himself, his will, and crappy-ass Amp energy drink, he gains enough power to finish this fic.) Ulrich noticed something about Odd that day. He looked different that day. Then Ulrich noticed that Odd's eye was bulging to three times its size.
"AH-HEEHEEHEE-HOOHOOHOO-HAHAHA, I GOTTA DOWN MY HOMEBOY, SO DON'T YOU PING MY CHEESE WITH ALL YO DING-DONG DITCH CRAP BY ALI G, YO, AND THAT REECK-AROCKA, SO SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!" said Odd. Odd had been sniffing cocaine. Oh, silly Odd!
"Oh, Odd, you silly boy, don't you know that you should always eat MARSHMALLOWS before doing cocaine? You're such a goofball, Odd!" exclaimed Ulrich merrily! Then Jeremie came along! With a shiny new pogo stick! So don't cry, brothers, watch him as he bounces on his new pogo stick!
"I tried doing coke but the ice cubes went up my nose," said Jeremie with a husky Bruce Willis style voice. But Bruce Willis threatened to sue, and Jeremie didn't want that, so Bruce Willis shoved a bunch of helium down his throat.
"ULRICH! WHEN DID YOU BECOME A FISH??????????" said Jeremie in a squeaky mouse-like voice. But then Jerry the Mouse threatened to sue. Poor Jeremie drank dishwasher fluid later that day for no reason.
"I AM A FISH!" screamed Ulrich as he drowned himself in ice cream. Yumi walked in sobbing at the loss of her true love.
"A WEEGEEWEEGEE I LOVEADA COOKIE MONSTERS WITH THE PATROLEUM JELLY AND BABA BLACK SHEEP, SO TAKE THAT GEORGE CLOONEY!" bellowed Odd before he was stolen by Marvin the Martian. Yumi tried to hang herself with yarn but ended up dying anyway because the yarn was too thing to hold her and she drowned in Odd's sea of cocaine.
"If it was me," said TJ, "I'd like to die with peacefulness and serenity while being burned alive on razor sharp nails while George Bush sued me for terrorism!" he said while being burned alive on razor sharp nails while George Bush sued him for terrorism. At least he did it peacefulness and serenity.
Aelita, being the only one still sober and existent, stole Jeremie's pogo stick and bounce off to Spain, only to be squished in a massive Christopher Columbus day riot.
THIS MESSAGE IS BROUGHT TO YOU IN HONOR OF CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS, THE BRAVE MAN WHO BLATANTLY STOLE AMERICA FROM THE INDIANS AND THEN KILLED THEM WITH DISEASE!
Nerdwithagun: Heh heh. (Eye twitches)