this is the conclusion to this little piece...enjoy

The doctors said that as soon as the car hit the ground on its back, Peyton was killed. Instantly. Haley had said that at least they could take comfort from that but neither Brooke nor Lucas thought about it. All that mattered to them was that Peyton was gone. She was gone and she was never coming back.

When the doctors told Brooke, she broke down and didn't stop crying for about a week. And then one afternoon, she pulled herself together, stopped crying and phoned her mother in New York. Quietly and calmly, she told her that she wasn't going to be back for a while. She needed time to heal. She asked her to take over in her absence and appointed a friend from the city to be the fashion consultant.

Once she had hung up the phone, she let herself fall into the despair and pain that had taken over her body the moment she was told of Peyton's death. The only person affected as badly as she was Lucas. They spent all their time together. She unofficially moved into his house and his mom and Lily unofficially moved into hers. They were left to wallow in their pain alone, together. When you are in such deep pain and anguish, there is no better comfort than that from the one you love, even if they too are in the same pain.

They spent the first month or so crying, just crying and staring into space. They didn't even venture outside; they just fended off takeaways, leftovers and what people sometimes bought over. Sometimes they watched TV, staring at the movement on the screen and feeling so out of time with it all. They'd lie on Lucas' bed and think back over memories.

And then one day, after they'd been thinking over when Peyton's 23rd and last birthday, Brooke leaning her head against Lucas' chest with his head resting on top of hers, inhaling her, they started kissing. She just looked up at him and he down at her and one minute they were staring at each and the next they were kissing. And then they were having sex. And then they were having it regularly, pouring their grief into each other. They never talked about it, during or after. It seemed as if it was the only way to still feel alive, still feel whole, still feel human. And they settled into a comfortable cycle of grief. They'd sleep from about 3 am to 3 pm, get up (if one could call it that), watch TV, have sex, maybe eat, have sex again, talk about Peyton, watch a movie, have sex and then the day would be over. Without regularly eating, Brooke became gaunt and Lucas too lost weight as he ate as much as she and found himself running once a week. Neither of them questioned why he'd do something so "healthy", they both knew it was a way of taking out his anger. Some days, they'd drink. But not everyday.

About once a month, they'd go to her grave and take some vodka and drink enough to last a lifetime and then drive home again. It was a miracle they'd never gotten into an accident. The only time that they or anybody else ever saw a glimpse of their former selves was when Lily or Jamie was over. Neither wanted them to see them this way. But as soon as they left, it was back to the angry, tortured people they'd become.

They never talked about they way they were living, nor about their relationship. They knew they loved each other, they'd established that a long time ago, before this whole thing had begun. And they knew they'd loved Peyton. And it didn't seem to matter that Lucas never had to make his choice, it didn't matter to Brooke that she'd never know who he was going to pick. All that really mattered to either of them was that Peyton was dead.

And then one day, about a year and a few months after Peyton had died, when Lucas woke up, Brooke was gone. He wasn't worried. Her clothes were still there and he knew she didn't have anywhere to go, to run to…she already run to him and he to her. He assumed she'd gone out to by more alcohol. She didn't come back until after dark and when she did, she sat him down and began the most honest, meaningful conversation they had had since Peyton had died.

"Lucas, we need to change" Brooke began

"Change what?" he asked

"How we're living…it's not healthy…it's not productive and we both know we can't spend the rest of our lives this way…and we know she wouldn't want us to either"

"Who says we're going to stay like this? I know we have to change how we're living but why now? I'd rather wait, can't we have this talk in a year or two? I'm not ready to change" he told her, his rarely seen stubborn side surfacing

"Well, tough, Lucas, we have to" she told him

"Why?"

"Because I'm pregnant"

It seemed that saying that suddenly changed everything. There was a silence and he looked up at her and felt as if the world that had been so out-of-time, so unbalanced, so fast, realigned.

"We're having a baby?" he asked, shocked

"We are" she told him, her face set in seriousness. But then he stood up and put his hands on her shoulders and he saw, for the first time since before Peyton had died, a real smile on her face and in her eyes.

Slowly, he lowered his face to hers and gently, slowly, thoughtful, he kissed her.

"I am so happy" he told her, honestly, as he wrapped his arms around her small body

"Me too" she replied, equally as honestly.

When they lay in bed that night, he told her how he felt everything fall into place again when she told him she was pregnant.

She stared into his eyes and whispered, "The same thing happened to me when the nurse confirmed it"

The next day, they got up at a normal hour. They tidy up; well, Lucas did and Brooke tried to but he wouldn't let her do anything to strenuous. Then they went grocery shopping and then, then they went to a jewellery store and he bought her the most perfect, most beautiful, new, engagement ring.

A month later they got married. The night beforehand, before they had gone their separate ways to spend the night apart, she told him that tomorrow was going to be a happy day, tomorrow was going to be about them and not Peyton, because they loved Peyton and she loved them and she would want them to have a happy day that was looking forward to the future not back to the past. And Lucas agreed.

And when he saw her walking up the aisle, he knew that although it was sad that Peyton wasn't there with them, he would look back on this day, always, as one of the happiest of his life and he would always remember Brooke and how beautiful she looked and how happy she made him and how calm life felt with her.

"You bought me clarity in a time of confusion" he told her in his vows and he meant it. It was one the reasons they spent all their time together; because the world without Peyton was too confusing to handle if he didn't have Brooke by his side. And he told her, and all their guests, that though they couldn't control the future nor predict it and though they'd never know what might have been and could only wonder, with her by his side, he knew that he would always love and always be loved.

"I think that people who are meant to be together always find their way in the end, even if it means that they have to hurt a hell of a lot beforehand, even if it means they have to lose something, even if it means they still have their "what might have beens" , even if it means that they might not necessarily, in alternate universe, be each others "ones", they are still meant to be together, in God's grand plan and they always find their way…just like we found ours" Brooke began her vows with.

They both agreed that they would never know what would have happened between them had Peyton not died but the fact was, as crappy as it was, she did.

Brooke sold her house and she and Lucas moved into a new house, for new, happy memories and together, they started to slowly rebuild their lives.

On the second anniversary of Peyton's death, they went to her grave but this time they didn't drink. They just sat on the ground, in silence and then Lucas said, "Do you remember when it was Jamie's fifth birthday and she drew him that picture of him playing basketball, with a proper kit on and everything?"

"Yeah" Brooke replied softly, "I do…and I wanted to design him a mini kit to wear when he was playing with his dad and couldn't find the right material in my workroom and she spent hours searching for it with me"

"I miss her"

"Me too"

He took her hand and squeezed it. She squeezed it back, really hard.

"Ow, Brooke, why are you squeezing so hard?" he asked

And then her legs were covered in something.

"I think my water's just broke" she told him, calmly and then burst out laughing, "I guess we should go"

"Yeah, I guess we should" he said back, "To the hospital or maybe the mall?" he joked as he helped her up

They didn't know what their child was going to be. They both only cared about it being healthy and alive. When the doctor lifted her up and said, "It's a girl!", all Brooke could see was the blood she was covered in. It wasn't until they placed her, clean and wrapped in a blanket, in her arms, that she really saw her.

"Hey, you" she cooed, "Hey, Peyton"

She looked at Lucas with tears in her eyes, "She saved us" she whispered, "She saved us from ourselves"

"She sure did" he whispered back, tears in his eyes too, "Our little girl, our little Peyton"

They had never talked about her name, they just knew what it was going to be in the same way that they just knew what they would name their son, Keith, 6 years later.

i hope you enjoyed that!