Lessons of Experience
Chapter 10: A Conspiracy of Old Men
By: BukkakeNoJutsu
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Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine, but, if he were, he would've been Hokage already, and he would've earned it.
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Uchiha Sasuke was dealing with a serious dilemma.
His balls ached because of Uzumaki Naruto.
It was not because of any underlying attraction between fellow orphans. No, they literally ached because the blonde-haired, blue-eyed devil had the gall to gleefully stomp on them, as if he were attempting to distill a fine wine made from the pulpy remains of the last Uchiha's junk.
Instead of dealing with a final academy exam, Sasuke was treated to the one-sided fight equivalent of a public execution.
In a few short seconds, the whiskered boy unknowingly threatened Sasuke's ambitions to repopulate his clan and to kill his older brother with an eye jab and a groin stomp.
After many applications of an ice pack, and one disastrous experiment with an analgesic balm to the affected area, he regained a pained, yet workable, kind of mobility.
But just when everything had once again started to regain a semblance of normality, Uzumaki Naruto yet again complicated matters. Somehow, the infuriatingly capable blonde single-handedly took down a jounin. Worst of all, Sasuke had no clear idea how Naruto accomplished such a feat. It happened all so quickly and ended with a huge explosion. Sasuke's pride and ego would not allow him to ask the blonde straight out how he did so.
Sasuke would find out Uzumaki Naruto's secrets sooner or later, but he had other issues that were more pressing at the moment.
His injuries were still quite tender.
After he nursed his abused groin back to health, much like a mama bird would her fledgling chicks, he would then figure out a way to surpass Naruto, by any means necessary.
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There were times where the Sandaime was glad to have someone like San around. Having a comrade who lived and remembered Konoha's history and could reminisce as well as he did was a great thing to have at times.
This was not one of those times.
"Are you fucking serious?"
Uzumaki Naruto stared at his Hokage in shock, hearing the normally kind and dignified man swear out loud for the first time ever.
San calmly repeated his request.
"I want you to teach the boy the very first kinjutsu you ever invented. The S-rank one. Not that pansy-ass A-rank 'you could die from chakra exaustion' bullshit, but the very same technique that laid you out for weeks."
The Sandaime was clearly upset.
"You do know that if I tried to do that technique as I am right now, it could very well kill me, not to mention of what it would do to our young Naruto here."
"I'm not asking you to actually do the technique, just teach the boy how to do it." replied San, throwing his hands up in the air almost as if he were talking to a child who couldn't follow his logic.
Uzumaki Naruto looked understandably concerned at the mention of the mystery jutsu's lethality to its user.
San continued his reasoning, undeterred.
"It's perfect for the boy. He already knows the kage bunshin, and has the necessary chakra reserves, and his chakra control is getting much better."
"But it's the most painful technique I have ever had the misfortune to come across. It's not even that powerful. Even now, I can close my eyes and still feel my skin blistering and lungs scorching. Why would you seek to inflict such an atrocity on Naruto?"
pleaded the Hokage.
"Yeah, why?" chirped in the blonde boy finally, with his hands on his hips.
San looked at the two people in front of him, one being his oldest friend and the other one the closest thing he had to a grandson, and he sighed.
"It's actually pretty simple. Genjutsu is one of the areas that I have never really trained you in, Naruto. It's not my forte. Most genjutsus are easy to dispel, and I've shown you how to do so, but the most lethal illusions you will come across will trick the mind into killing the body. They cause a person to give up, because a victim of high-level genjutsu is subjected to unfathomable pain. If you learn this technique, you'll learn the type of pain that can't be matched by anyone's overactive imagination."
San shrugged.
"The fact that this technique can be used offensively is just an added bonus."
The Sandaime felt more than a little sick knowing that San intended to use his kinjutsu for endurance training.
The Hokage felt the need to inform Uzumaki Naruto exactly what the technique was.
"Decades ago, when the usage of suicidal jutsu was fairly common, I tried to adapt one that converts a healthy ninja into a living, breathing, flaming time bomb into a less than lethal technique. I had the brilliant idea to create a reinforced clone that would use the devastating jutsu, leaving the user unharmed. Do you know what happens when you dispel a kage bunshin, Naruto?"
The whiskered young boy thought for a second before answering, "Don't you get information and memories from it?"
"Right, but what I did not know was that the more potent you make a clone, the closer your connection to it. When my clone detonated, I received not only its memories, but its exact physical sensations and state of mind. I felt as if I had sacrificed my life and my dreams for one suicidal attack. I was the one who burned inside and out. The phantom sensations of pain you feel with this technique can't be dulled by anything except time. Do you really want to experience that?"
After considering his options for a few moments, Naruto asked the only question that nagged at him.
"Exactly how big of an explosion are talking about here?"
Naruto grinned.
The Sandaime shuddered.
San nodded, amused by his protégé's query.
The Hokage, stunned, looked at San and then to the blonde genin and said, "Naruto, could you step outside, and give San and I a few moments to speak alone?"
The Uzumaki boy shrugged and then left the room. Immediately when he did, the Professor performed a short sequence of handseals casting a flickering barrier encompassing both men.
"Just what the hell are you getting at, San? Why this desperate kind of training?"
San smirked as if sharing an inside joke.
"Blood runs true, Sarutobi. Do you know of the boy's ultimate ambition to become Hokage?"
"Of course," the old man nodded, "He's made no secret of it."
"In a few years, could you think of a better successor than Naruto?"
The Sandaime shook his head.
"Many people in Konoha would be gravely upset and target Naruto for outright assassination if they found me favoring him, people like Danzo."
"Fuck Danzo. Remember when Minato secured his nomination as Yondaime Hokage?"
Both men had a chuckle at that memory. The young blonde man had offered to display the skill level required of a Hokage candidate by challenging all of the people who objected to his nomination at once. He led all of the objectors, including the infamous nin Orochimaru, to a training field to take them on. Holding up a fat, uncapped red marker to stand in for a real kunai, the blonde jounin challenged everyone to come at him freely with the intent to kill. Somewhere along the way, Namikaze Minato failed to mention that he had previously had seeded the training ground with hiraishin tags, a lot of them. In a flash, all the objectors suddenly had red lines and dots across their throats, hearts and other vital areas.
"In the future, Naruto'll be able to do the same kind of thing but with a real kunai and without all the fancy jutsu-slinging."
The Hokage almost snorted, "It's amazing the lengths you'll go to leave a legacy in Konoha."
San smiled, "Don't get me wrong, but I have the strange feeling that even without my interference, Naruto's the type of person who would become Hokage through sheer determination and grit. You don't know that boy like I do."
The Sandaime considered the future of Konoha far beyond his own lifetime and nodded.
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In the end, the Hokage acquiesced, agreeing to instruct Naruto starting sometime in the next week.
With their objective accomplished, San and Naruto headed off to train after having breakfast.
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Uchiha Sasuke had just gotten extremely lucky.
He had managed to stumble across Naruto training with an old man. It was actually kind of disheartening. There were no flashy techniques, gouts of fire, or crackling electricity. All that Naruto did was leisurely evade the old man's sword strikes.
Truth be told, after a while, it was kind of boring to watch. There were no clones, explosions, or illusions.
Sasuke actually yawned.
The old man paused in his movements and spoke aloud.
"You might as well come out of hiding now. I know you've been watching for while. If you're that bored, I can always carve your eyes out of your skull and replace them with your testicles for trying to steal my techniques."
Sasuke immediately left his hiding spot.
San turned towards his student.
"Can you vouch for this asshole?"
"That's one of my new teammates Uchiha Sasuke. He's alright, but he's kind of a dick," shrugged Naruto.
"That makes sense. All the Uchiha men I've known were either arrogant bastards or psychos or a vicious mix of the two."
Sasuke started to feel anger at the old man's comments.
"The women I'll miss. I never partook because I was a married man, but the stories I could tell you of the dark-haired beauty Uchiha Mikoto and her magic fingers, or the talents of her cousins. Those gals inspired volumes of literature."
San looked at the newcomer strangely.
"Hey boy, I thought only your eyes were supposed to turn red, not your whole face."
Being a mama's boy, Uchiha Sasuke rushed at San, screaming, "I'll kill you!"
San turned to Naruto remarking, "He's obviously delusional. I'm guessing he's more like a crazy-type Uchiha then."
Barreling forward, Sasuke started to form handseals.
San calmly unsheathed his sword.
Naruto snorted, and waited for the carnage to unfold.
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End Chapter 10
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C&C welcome