Chapter 28, part 1: Faster, Pt.1

This is what it looks like
This is what it feels like

The girls were getting ready to go out. Emma promised Manny that she would not bring up the 'Sean thing', since Manny and Sean haven't decided on anything yet... besides that they are extremely, physically, attracted to each other. Wanting to be comfortable, Emma slipped into low-rise black jeans and a simple, yet sophisticated baby blue top. Taking a seat on the couch as she waited for Manny to finish up, she began staring at her ring. Holding her hand up, Emma allowed the light to catch it, causing it to sparkle. She smiled to herself. She loved it.

"You must really love that thing, huh?" Manny asked, coming out of the bathroom.

"Yeah..." Emma smiled softly at her hand. "Isn't it beautiful?"

"Indeed it is." Manny agreed, sitting down next to Emma. "How is it?"

"How is what?" Emma queried, pulling her attention away from her ring finger.

"Being with Jay." Manny explained, watching Emma's movements as she mentioned his name.

"It's great... it's amazing..." Emma looked at Manny. "It feels right, ya know?"

"Yeah..." Manny looked down, playing with her fingers. I want that..." She paused, "I really want that."

"You'll get it Manny." Emma assured her.

"I hope so." Manny looked back up at Emma.

"Well what about you and Sean?" Emma watched the look on her face. "I promise I won't bring it up in front of the guys."

"I don't know..." Manny shrugged her shoulders. "I mean we are definitely physically attracted to each other... but" She looked at Emma. "I want more then that."

"Yeah, that's how Jay and I were." Emma nodded, recalling that she had sex with Jay before they were 'official'.

"Emma Christine Nelson, what happened to you?" Manny joked, "You never would have had sex before you dated."

"I don't know." Emma chuckled a little. "It's funny... how much you change..." She paused, staring at her ring. "When Jay came back, I was so confused, I mean I really cared about Zack, part of me still does... but it was the wrong time for us."

"He was perfect." Manny interjected. "And gorgeous." Emma laughed with Manny.

"He was, when we were together... but it didn't feel like we were dating... I don't know, but then Jay came back... gosh that guy had my thoughts all twisted." She looked up at Manny. "He's changed, so much since high school, and I'm really proud of him, for what he's done for himself, and all on his own."

"I'll agree with you there." Manny laughed a little, "Even I'm proud of him." She shook her head a bit. "He is one pretty fine human being."

"Manny!" Emma pretended to look shocked, but both girls started laughing. "It was a little hard for him... okay, really hard for him when I told him I thought we should wait... to have sex."

"I can imagine." Manny looked up, almost as if she was going to start daydreaming. "I don't think I could manage."

"You could..." Emma told her, "It was even hard for me... and I don't really know why, but it was. I'm still not comfortable with all of it... I'm not as confident as you... I mean, I just..." Emma shook her head. "It's weird though, because with Jay, I can take charge, I mean I've... gone down... on him a couple times."

"Emma Nelson!" Manny exclaimed. "Why didn't you tell me that before?"

"I don't know... I still can't picture myself doing it." Emma thought back to Jay. "But he... I love the way he almost loses his breath when I touch him... and I love how he's not like those typical guys who push you to do it... he lets me do everything at my own pace."

"I'm sorry." Manny has a smirk on her lips. "I still can't believe you... and he... oh wow."

"I've only done it twice, Jesus." She joked, smiling at Manny. "You know, the first time I did it, I totally caught him off guard... I don't think he thought I would have done it... and the next morning, he told me that I didn't have to do that if I didn't want to, and that just made me feel so much better about being with him."

"I'm really happy for you." Manny gave Emma a warm smile. "Not about the..." Manny looked up and down suggestively, "I mean about being with Jay."

"You'll find it Manny..." Emma paused. "Sean could be it... it might be worth it to give it a try."

"You don't think it's weird...I mean we all went to school together... and suddenly we all practically live together." Manny smiled a bit as she shook her head. "I mean you and Sean dated forever, and everyone thought you two would be the one Degrassi couple that would last forever."

"I was always hoping that I could be happy, and I thought staying with Sean would bring me that." Emma stared off into space for a moment. "But, we truly were almost... disastrous together. We always had something to worry about... yet, he will always be my first love, and I do still love him... we just fell out of love with each other."

"I always thought that I would finally find what I had been looking for with Craig." Manny gave Emma a soft look, "Do you really think I could find that in Sean?"

"Manny, you grew up with Sean as much as I did." Emma returned Manny's look. "It is definitely worth a shot. He's a great guy."

"And he has amazing abs." Manny added, smiling like a school girl. "I love that he works out."

"Oh, I love that Jay works out too." Emma and Manny began to giggle. A knock at the front door interrupted them. "It's open!" Emma yelled, and she went back to laughing with Manny. Sean and Jay stepped into the apartment.

"I thought we were going to The Dive tonight?" Sean asked, watching the two girls on the couch. Emma and Manny exchanged looks with each other, and then looked over to the guys innocently.

"Sorry." Manny began.

"We just got caught up... in some girl talk." Emma finished. They looked at each other again, trying to suppress their urge to laugh.

"Which means they were talking about us," Jay told Sean, smirking a bit. "Do you still want to go, or would you like to gab some more?" Emma stood up, walking over to Jay and Sean. She gave Sean a quick peck on the cheek before turning to Jay.

"You better be careful, or you won't see those 'special outfits'." Emma whispered in his ear. She turned to Manny, giving her a giggling smile, and left the apartment. Jay turned around, walking after Emma, leaving Sean and Manny alone.

"Baby," Jay put his arm around her, "You know I was just kidding."

"Uh-huh," Emma smiled at Jay. Sean and Manny were a couple steps behind Jay and Emma, talking amongst themselves about nothing in particular. Manny smiled to herself, thinking that her and Sean just might possibly work.

Chapter 28, part 2: Faster, Pt.2

I'll lose my head
If you go to him again
I'll lose my mind

The four made it to The Dive in a relatively peaceful silence. As they entered the small club, Jay squeezed Emma's waist, making sure he wouldn't lose her in the crowd of people. Emma took Manny's hand, and Manny took Sean's hand as they weaved through everybody. Sean looked down at Manny's hand delicately holding onto his and a small smiled form on his lips. Lightly, he squeezed it, hoping Manny would take that as a sign that he liked holding her hand. Once Manny felt Sean's squeeze, Manny in turn squeezed Emma's hand. Emma turned her head to look at her, a smile on her face, which Manny happily returned. Making their way to the bar, Jay immediately ordered a beer, as did Sean. Turning down the drinks, Manny and Emma moved closer to the stage. As they began to dance with each other, Jay and Sean watched, mesmerized by their body movements. Jay let his eyes fall to Emma's curves, but was immediately brought back up to her face as he caught a glimpse of her smile. Intoxicating. After dancing for some time, the girls walked back over to the boys. Emma asked for water and then turned to face Jay. Placing his beer down on the counter top, a smirk came to his lips.

"What?" Emma asked, trying to hide her smile.

"Nothing." Jay shook his head. The waiter placed Emma's cup of water in front of her. Picking it up, she leisurely moved her parted lips to the straw. As she took a sip, Jay focused on her lips. "You are beautiful, you know that?"

"Well," She set her drink down next to Jay's beer. "If it's coming from you then I must have to believe it." Giving Jay a playful smile, Emma lightly pushed his chest.

She was ready to walk past him, with no particular reason in mind, just to tease him a bit. Jay tenderly grabbed her arm, pulling her back towards him. His lips crashed into hers. Smiling into the kiss, Emma let her arms go around his neck. Jay moved both hands to her waist, bringing her as close as possible to him.

"Hey you two." Manny said as she looked over at the two making out. "None of that. Don't you guys get tired of wearing each other's faces?"

"I don't even think it's possible to get tired of her." Jay smirked as he looked at Manny, still holding Emma close to him.

"Yeah... I have to agree." Manny smiled at Emma as she thought back to the conversation they shared before they left. Emma gave Manny a reassuring smile, tell her that she knew what she was thinking about.

"Hey, isn't that-" Sean started, staring at the stage.

"And Operation: Jealousy is back from their tour to give their hometown a preview of their new album!" The manager spoke into the microphone. Emma turned her attention to the stage.

"Unbelievable." Emma breathed.

She hadn't seen Zack in so long. Honestly, she didn't think she was going to be able to see him again. He took the mic as the band members got into their comfortable positions. Scanning the members, Emma didn't see Tristan. Instead, she saw a different guy on guitar. Without realizing what she was doing, Emma began walking slowly towards the stage. Her eyes were fixated on Zack, even though he has yet to spot her. Maneuvering her way through the crowd of people that were jumping up and down, Emma was set on getting to the front.

Meanwhile, Manny looked worriedly after Emma, wondering if she realized that she just left them. Jay was staring after her, a mixed expression on his face. His emotions were going berserk. He was hurt, and angry, and he just couldn't believe what was happening in front of his eyes. He didn't want to see anymore. Turning away, Jay walked out of the club, not saying a word. Now, Sean and Manny both had worried looks on their faces.

"I think I should go back sure he doesn't do anything stupid." Sean told Manny, watching Jay near the exit.

"Yeah, hurry." Manny urged. Sean gave her a kiss on the cheek before pushing through the packed club.

Staring off toward the stage, Manny couldn't see Emma anywhere. Emma was still moving toward the stage. Zack had finally spotted her. Now, he was practically singing to her. He sang into the mic, but his eyes were fixated on her. Motioning to the security guard as he continued to sing, he silently told him to let Emma on stage. The guard pulled her up, helping her up the stage. A few girls complained, asking if they could go up too. Standing on the edge of the stage, Emma waited for them to finish their set.

"Okay, we're gonna take a ten minute break, and we'll be right back up her." Zack said softly. The band grabbed water bottles as they left the stage. Each of them gave Emma a hug, except for the new guy, who just said 'hi'. Zack was the last one to leave the stage. "Hey," He smiled warmly.

"Hi," Emma replied. "I didn't think I was going to see you again."

"Yeah, me neither." Zack engulfed Emma in a hug, which she gladly returned. "How've you been?"

"Great, actually." They let go of each other. "And you?"

"Tristan's in rehab. He's getting his act together." Zack looked Emma over. " What's that?" He asked, pointing to the ring. Emma looked at her finger, suddenly remembering Jay, Manny, and Sean.

"I'm um" Emma paused. "Engaged." She finished. She looked weakly up at Zack.

"Wow, I wish you the best." Zack gave her another warm smile before giving her another tight hug. "It was good to see you again."

"Yeah, it was." Emma whispered back as they slowly let go of each other for the second time. "I better go, my friends are probably worried."

"Bye Em." Zack spoke softly. He really is perfect Emma thought... for someone else.

"Bye." Emma gave him a slight wave as she headed back out to the front of the club.

Chapter 28, part 3: Faster P.3

And this is your heart beating faster,
Faster

Emma only found Manny as she made her way back to the front of the club. Without a word, they both started walking out at the same time. Now, they realized that Jay drove them, so they were either taking the thirty minute walk back to their apartment, or they were calling a cab. Manny opted for a cab, but Emma wanted to walk, to help her figure out what she was going to say to Jay. Manny won, mostly because Manny wouldn't let Emma walk by herself, and Emma didn't want to make Manny walk home in her heels.

"What happened?" Manny finally asked as the two got inside their apartment.

"I'm not sure." Emma looked at Manny. "I have to go see Jay." With that said, Emma excused herself from her apartment.

Lightly, she knocked on the door across the hall, waiting patiently, Emma wondered how she was going to explain what happened. Jay slowly opened the door.

"Well, I never thought I'd be on this side of the door in this type of situation." He said, unable to look at Emma.

"Jay-" Emma began, but Jay just shook his head.

"I don't want to do anything stupid..." He paused, still looking at the floor. "I just need some time to cool off... or whatever." He let out a little huff.

"Oh... okay." Emma nodded slightly and moved her eyes to the floor. "I guess... I'll just see you later." Emma turned and walked into her apartment.

She wanted to hug him, to have him hug her so bad, but she was almost afraid to get any closer to him. She really didn't want to make him bad. If she knew that her going up to Zack was going to upset him, she never would have done it. But it was almost as if something was pulling her into the stage, like she just had to say hi. Closing the front door, Emma leaned her back against it, sighing quietly. Manny came out, watching Emma closely as her eyes welled up with tears.

"Em, what happened?" Manny asked. Emma looked up, a tear falling from her eye, sliding down her cheek.

"I messed up Manny." A couple more tears slid down her cheeks. "He can't even look at me." Emma took a deep breath, trying to stop her tears.

"Oh, Em." Manny walked over to Emma, engulfing her in a hug. Emma refused to let anymore tears fall with Manny in the room. She sucked them back, and hugged Manny. "Don't worry, it will all work out." She reassured Emma. Emma just nodded a bit.

"I'm gonna try to get some sleep." Emma walked off to her room, closing the door gently. Sitting with her back against her headboard, Emma cried silently.

Part of Manny wanted to go over to Jay's and make him talk to her, but she didn't want to make this any worse. Quietly, Manny opened up the door and knocked on Sean's. Frustrated, Jay answered. "I'm not going to yell at you, or force you to talk to Em, but when you are ready, please let her explain, give her a chance. She's extremely upset, and I hate seeing her like this." Manny said, keeping her voice normal. Jay just nodded, and Manny walked back into her apartment. Jay closed the door. He hated seeing Emma that upset too, but he couldn't just turn off the way he felt.

The next morning, Emma woke up to a note beside her.

Emma, stop by the garage today during lunch if you can... Jay

Emma sighed. He never called her Emma. He hasn't called her Emma in about seven or eight months. Turning to look at the clock, Emma realized it almost was lunch time. Last night, she had a hard time falling asleep, due to her yelling at herself. She was happy that it was Sunday, but that happy feeling wasn't powerful enough for her, she needed to feel more. Emma got up, showered, and got dressed. Part of her was dreading this, dreading to go see the love of her life. She was so worried, too worried about what could happen, about all the bad things that could happen. Slowly, Emma walked to the garage. Jay was working on a car. Emma stayed quiet, watching him work, she liked seeing him like this, so relaxed, yet so concentrated. He turned his head, catching a glimpse of Emma. He stood up, motioning for Emma to come in. Pulling his arms out of his jumpsuit, Jay walked over to the sink to wash his hands. Emma walked past a couple of the workers as she followed Jay into the office. Gently, Emma closed the door behind her, and leaned against it.

"So..." Jay said, hoping Emma would start this off.

"I'm so, so sorry." Emma took a deep breath. "I didn't know what happened... I just hadn't seen Zack, or the band in so long... I know the way I... went about it was wrong way... but something in me just had to say hi to them... I am truly sorry."

"I know you are..." Jay paused, staring down. "Emma, you... hurt me last night... you just left... I mean there wasn't an explanation... you didn't say anything. I know I wouldn't have been okay with you going over to say hi to an ex-boyfriend, but if you would have said that you were going to say hi, I would have felt a lot better than I do right now."

"Emma," Emma spoke softly. He called her Emma again, he was still mad. She made her voice a little stronger. "I know," Emma nodded her head slowly. "I'm sorry for how I handled this... so I guess I'll see you..." Emma trailed off, she put her hand on the doorknob, before speaking again. "By the way, I told him I was engaged." She said, her voice barely even.

"What?" Jay asked, causing Emma to stop. She turned back to face Jay.

"I asked how he and the band was doing, Tristan's in rehab, and the band is doing really well." She paused, taking a breath. "And he asked about me, and I said I was... engaged, and he wished us the best... but," Emma put her fingers on her ring, slowly getting ready to take it off. "You probably want this back." Emma's voice lowered, she was fighting so many tears as she went to slide that ring off her finger. A couple escaped, and she couldn't let herself take it off.

"Leave it alone." Jay told her, finally looking at her.

"What?" Emma asked, confused. Jay began his stride over to her.

"Don't you ever take that off." He said as he stood before her. Emma looked up at him, tears still trying to slip from her eyes. Jay cupped her face, wiping her tears away with his thumbs.

"Really?"

"Really." Jay gave her a small smirk as she flung her arms around him. It felt so good to have him near her again. He held her tight, whispering in her ear "I love you Baby." Emma melted, he called her Baby, he wasn't upset anymore.

"I love you." She whispered back, holding him tighter. She gave him a kiss on the neck. "I'm so, so sorry." She whispered.

"I know Baby." Jay said, lightening up his grip on her.

She was so happy to hear that word come out of his mouth. He met her in a kiss. Emma kept her arms around his neck as Jay's hand slid to the doorknob, turning the lock. She giggled into the kiss as Jay picked her up. Locking her legs around him, Jay walked over to the desk. Sitting her on the edge of it, Jay deepened the kiss. Emma leaned up, making her body taller, reaching up to Jay, forcing herself to be as close as possible to him. Letting his hands fall to her thighs, his mouth moved to her neck. He applied a little pressure as his hands barely moved up and down her thighs.

"Jay." Emma spoke, barely able to get it out.

"Yeah Baby?" He asked in between kissing her neck.

"We're at you job." She stated and bit her bottom lip as he grazed her neck with his teeth.

"I know." He answered, picking his head up to look at her.

"But-" Emma watched Jay smirk.

"Not too many people are working today, and the door's locked." He whispered as he leaned in to kiss her again. "I" He kissed her lips. "Love you Baby." He kissed her again.

"I love hearing you call me that." Emma told him. "I love you so much." She whispered. Jay cupped her face again, pulling her lips to his. Passion took over, and their kiss was immediately deep. This was it, this was them, forever and always.

The End