Dib's mood had not improved much. Not only was he sequestered in his arch-enemy's stronghold, he had been repeatedly insulted and threatened. Upon regaining consciousness, Zim had shrieked and demanded to know what Dib was doing in his base. Several times during Dib's retelling of previous events, Zim interjected vehemently with phrases like, "You're lying!" or "You're making it up!"
By the time Dib had managed to convince Zim everything he'd said was true, he was edgy. He'd been tense before, but he couldn't take much more of the Irken's insanity. He'd been forced to shower with water, disinfectant, water, more disinfectant, and air-dried with a fan so forceful it nearly peeled his skin off. On top of this humiliation, Zim had incinerated the offending pair of boxers. With nothing else to wear, he was faced with Zim's array of "disguises". A bear suit, a human suit, a massively large dress, and an old-man outfit.
He raised an eyebrow. "Why do you have a dress in here?"
Zim glowered. "Shut up and choose a disguise. It was an emergency concerning slow explosion."
Rolling his eyes, Dib reached for the old man disguise, dropping the beard and hat, and glanced at Zim. "Do you mind?" He asked acidly.
"Do I mind what?"
"You are so stupid."
"I AM AMAZING!"
"Go away and let me dress in privacy, you idiot!"
Zim's antennae twitched as he stalked off, muttering about stupid hyumans and their odd concepts of shame.
Dib had emerged in the baggy shirt, jacket, and trousers, looking like he'd rummaged through a dump to find the clothes. On coming out, Zim immediately began describing his brilliant plan.
"See, we will find a small earth-rodent, and mutate it to grow horribly large. Its genetics can be altered so it has cravings to eat spiders. When the horrible Spider-creature comes, it will be devoured, and I will be safe!"
"We, Zim. We will be safe. Which we won't. Have you already forgotten Ultra-Peepi? If we get rid of the Spider Man that way, we'll just have another mess on our hands. Besides, I don't think the Spider Man is spider enough to tempt any spider-hungry critter."
"Then I shall have horrible, hairy winged monkeys swoop into the sea and lift up mighty sharks to drop on the beast!"
"You've been watching too much TV. Besides, winged monkeys don't exist."
"They do too! I made them, down in my labs!"
"It's still a stupid plan."
Zim jabbed a claw at Dib. "Then what idiotic failure of a plan do you have, pathetic weakling?"
Dib batted the claw away in irritation. "I don't know! But at least I can admit that much. Look, we obviously can't come up with a viable plan unless we put our heads together."
"You suggest brain fusion, Earth child?"
He sighed, clapping a hand to his forehead. "This is going to be a long day."
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Hours passed, the slow progression of time wearing on the nerves of both. Every creak, every thud, every cricket chirp was greeted with alarm. Dib didn't bother taunting Zim, it was all he could do to keep his own fears under control.
As the sun set, the silence took on an oppressive feel. Darkness slowly engulfed each room, stealing away all light. Zim and Dib sat on the couch, pretending to rest. Both gazed longingly at the button on the opposite wall, but neither moved toward it. The base fell into darkness. Not a sound came from the computer, Zim had ordered it to shut down until further notice. Even GIR had been switched off.
Every tick from the clock's second hand was torture. A string of nervous babbling flowed through Dib's mind, but the silence pressed his mouth closed.
Tonight.
Dib started violently, and he heard the sound of claws tearing through material. He swore he could hear his heart missing every other beat.
Tonight. Now. Hide and seek is fun, but time for play is done. Hideous, beady red eyes glowed in the dark before them. The Spider Man is having you for dinner tonight.
Abruptly, Dib felt a huge pair of paws grasp him, pinning his arms to his sides. He broke the silence with a terrified cry as he was drawn closer to the eyes. He felt sharp, round things placed on either side of his neck. His blood pumped rapidly through his body, and he screamed once more.
Light. Blinding, brilliant light glowed from all sides. Dib was hurled into the wall. Something cracked, but he barely noticed. All he could see was the hideous monstrosity, staggering blindly. Five or six colored beams appeared, from different parts of the room, all aimed at it. They only appeared for a second, but they left behind gaping wounds on its hairy hide. It threw back its head, wailing in pain. The horrible dirge was lost as a laser bolt flew into its mouth and into its guts. Its legs collapsed beneath it, and it rolled around, writhing like a half-crushed insect. Gray web strands spurted aimlessly from its spinnerets, as its legs twitched convulsively. Three more bolts flew at its head, finishing the job. It lay limp.
Pain jolted him from his gawking, and he glanced at his arm, twisted the wrong way. Sickened, he looked back up. Zim stood on the opposite side of the room, his three-clawed hand shaking as it held the button down. Dib sighed in relief, and allowed unconsciousness to claim him.
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It hadn't taken Zim long to shake off the horror of the experience. He'd set Dib's arm, bound it, and roughly expelled him from the base. Despite Dib's protests that the carcass should be shown to the world, Zim had refused, saying it should be incinerated.
"We don't know how this thing functioned, Dib. What if it has some sort of advanced cellular reproduction, and is even now returning to life?"
Hastily, Dib had agreed, and silently cheered at the sight of smoke rising from the base's back yard. He began the long walk back home, already working on a plausible excuse for his two-day absence and broken arm. Gaz would have his head for not leaving word, but maybe she'd at least wait until his arm healed.
Unconsciously, he found himself bobbing his head to the beat of a song he'd once heard, and laughed at the irony of the lyrics.
And there is nothing I can do
When I realize with fright
That the Spiderman is having me for dinner tonight.
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Note: This is the end. Lyrics to Lullaby are copyrighted to The Cure, and this fic is based off of Krazy-Cartoonist-827's Deviation, Lullaby.