I just want to thank each and every one of you who read, commented, and favorited this story. It means so much to me. I never thought people would like it this much. If I could, I would take you all out for some pizza and ice cream. And maybe we could possibly look at some Porshes. Who knows:P I'm sorry for the wait in updating. I had a pretty chaotic week, so I made this update a bit longer than the others. Enjoy!

Chapter 3: We Predict a Riot

Edward's Point of View

I pull up into a visitor's parking lot at UC-Santa Barbara when I receive a phone call from Bella.

"Hey, Edward," she greeted me sweetly.

"Hi, Bella," I greeted to her. I saw Jacob's eyes light up, that annoying little dog.

"How are you boys doing?"

"Good."

"That's great. Where are you now?"

"We're in a parking lot. Umm…just out of curiosity, why did you have us go all the way to Santa Barbara to visit your aunt?"

"She happens to be the head of the English department. You see…she's expecting you."

"What?!" Creepy!

"It's a long story, Edward. Maybe Aunt Mary can explain it to you better than I can. I don't wanna waste your minutes."

"Bella, I've saved a lot throughout the century. I think I can afford it."

I heard her laugh. "Okay. Go to the visitor's center, and ask the people at the front desk where to find Dr. Mary Swan. She'll probably be in her office before class starts. Tell Jacob 'hi' for me, and I'll talk to you later."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Jacob tried to sneak in "I love you, Bella!" He was too late though because I hung up. I'll get him back for that…and the "are we there yet's." Reluctantly, Jake and I got out of the car and went to the visitor's center. The girl at the front desk, I'm assuming she was also a student, dropped her phone as soon as we walked in. I'm guessing it's my gorgeousness…or Jacob's hideousness.

"C-can I help you?" she managed to stutter.

"Yes," I said. "We're wondering where we could find Dr. Mary Swan."

"She's expecting us," added Jacob.

"Yes." The girl nodded. She pulled out a map and showed us the way to the English building. "Her office is Room 403."

"Thank you," I said.

The girl nodded. As Jake and I walked to the door, I could hear her thinking, "Gosh, those guys are hot." I laughed.

"What's so funny?" asked Jacob.

"Nothing," I said, shaking my head.

"Right…"

"I just heard her thoughts."

"And…"

"She thought we were hot."

"Yes!" He did a mini celebration dance. "Think I could get her phone number?"

"Jacob!" I scolded. "We're here on a mission. Now if we finish early, you could try." Yeah right. I have better chances winning the lottery.

"Alright, alright."

"Now try to make yourself useful and hold the map as I try to find the English building."

We got back in the car and drove around. Luckily, we didn't get lost, and we were also able to find parking. As soon as we got out of the car, I heard a bunch of girls whispering really loudly. They were looking at us, too.

"Jake, what's going on?" I asked.

"No idea," he replied. "Do they think we're hot, too?"

"Will you stop thinking about that? There's more to life than girls."

"True. There's pizza, too."

"Ugh."

We went into the building and quickly climbed four flights of stairs. There, we made our way to Room 403. I was about to knock on the door when it was suddenly opened.

"You must be Edward and Jacob! Hi, I'm Bella's aunt, Mary." She extended her hand.

"Yes, I'm Edward," I said, shaking her hand.

"I'm Jacob," he introduced himself, shaking her hand as well.

"Bella has told me so much about you both."

"I'm flattered, Dr. Swan," I said.

"No, please call me Aunt Mary," she corrected. "After all, Edward, you'll soon be a part of the family as well."

I swore I heard Jacob growling underneath his breath. Aunt Mary didn't seem to notice.

"Okay, Aunt Mary," I began. "Bella said you were expecting us. What is the exact reason why you wanted us here?"

"You don't know?" she asked, shocked.

"No," replied Jacob.

"Well, have a seat." She motioned to the two chairs in front of her desk. "This might take awhile."

Oh great. What could this be?

"You see, there has been a book written about you both called Twilight," she began. "It includes your whole family, Edward, and Bella and Charlie and Renee and you too, Jacob, along with the pack. Even the Volturi. The book has been so successful that the author decided to write other sequels to it, and it even has an international fan base."

Jacob and I just looked at each other, trying to soak everything in.

"So, we're famous?" asked Jake.

"Yes," replied Aunt Mary.

"Alright!"

"Hold it," I interrupted. "How does this person know so much about us? Did we get exploited somehow? Did someone expose us?"

"No." I could see Aunt Mary trying to come up with an explanation without offending us both. "The author had a dream one night about a vampire confessing his love to a mortal girl. She decided to write down that dream, and that eventually turned into the book. However, what makes this case extremely rare in comparison to other forms of literature is that every character and detail is true. She thought she was writing fiction when in fact her subjects and facts were true."

I sat there for a minute. Over the years, I've seen some crazy stuff, but never in my wildest dreams, when I still had dreams, did I ever believe that something like this would ever happen.

"Are you okay?" asked Aunt Mary.

"Umm…yeah. I'm just a bit shocked," I replied.

"I understand that."

"Is that all you wanted to see us for?" asked Jacob.

"As a matter of fact, no, it is not."

What? As if this book wasn't a big enough shock…

"What else then?" I asked.

"I have assigned this book as a reading assignment for my students. It has produced some great class discussion. I had no idea about the truth within the plot and characters until I talked to Bella. She somehow found out."

"But she didn't tell me!" I snapped.

"I know, I know." She put her hand on my shoulder. "I think she saw the way you and Jacob interacted with one another, how much you hated each other, and thought this news would drive you both insane. She wouldn't want to have two important people in her life freaking out on her.

"So she wanted us to hear about it how many hundreds of miles away?" asked Jake. For once, the wolf was actually making sense.

"Please. Calm down," said Aunt Mary. "I wanted you two to talk to my students and answer some of their questions. Since you two have only heard about this now, I'm assuming you haven't read the book or its sequels."

"Right," commented Jake.

"Is that a problem?" I asked.

"No," Aunt Mary assured me. "You'll just tell your side of the story."

"Okay."

"So…will you do it?"

"Sure."

We didn't have a choice really. We just went with it. Jake and I followed Aunt Mary into her classroom, and what we saw surprised us both.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Yes, that's right. Screaming fan girls. As far as the eye could see. This was just like Beatle Mania in the '60s. Ugh, I hate '60s music.

Anyway…

Every girl had some sort of "I Love Twilight" t-shirt on. I particularly like the "Team Edward" shirts. It's great to be loved.

"Girls, settle down," said Aunt Mary.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"I love you, Edward!" shouted one girl.

"Cullens 4Ever!" read one poster.

"Marry me, Edward!" shouted another girl.

Then, I saw a shirt that sort of freaked me out: "Kiss Me, I'm Bella."

"Edward?" asked Jacob, trying to get his question in over the noise.

"What?" I asked back.

"How come you get all the fan girls?"

"I don't know."

"Why don't I have any?"

"I don't know."

Jacob's Point of View

"I don't know."

Is that the only response I can get out of him? Geez. Not only that, but Aunt Mary is already favoring him over me. Why? Am I that horrible? I don't think I'm bad looking. I do have rock hard abs after all. Plus, when Eddie (yes, I called him Eddie because Grandpa needed a new, hip makeover with the name) and I walked in, girls were going crazy. I thought at least half of that was for me. Nope, all for the vampire. WHY?! I wonder what's in that book that made all the girls go for him…

"Please, Edward," I pleaded. "How do I get some of the fan girls on my side?"

"Umm…" he thought about it. "Try singing something."

"Like what?"

"I don't know…anything."

Thanks a lot for your help. Great. Umm…I got it!

"I think I have it," I told him.

"Go for it," he suggested.

"Alright then."

I cleared my throat.

I like big butts
And I cannot lie
And you other brothers can't deny
When a girl walks in
With an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in yo' face
You get SPRUNG!

Cricket, cricket. That was all that I heard after that.

"I don't think that's how you do it," whispered Edward.

Well, thank you, Captain Obvious.

"Well," began Dr. Swan (I refuse to call her Aunt Mary since I'm not the one joining the family – hmph, hmph). "As you can see today, we have two very special guests for today's lecture: Edward Cullen and Jacob Black."

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" The girls were at it again.

"Settle down, everyone."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

"Hush or the guys will leave!"

Dead silence.

"Okay. As I was saying before, our guests are here today to answer any questions you might have after reading the Twilight series. Now, one at a time, raise your hand, and I will call on you to speak."

The girls raised their hands. Dr. Swan called on one.

"Hi, guys. I'm Christine," introduced one girl. "This question is for Edward. Boxers or briefs?"

I heard girls giggling in the background.

"Well…" The bloodsucker had a smirk on his face. "I think I'll leave it up to your imagination."

"Oww oww!" hooted some girls in the back.

How come everything he says or does gets the girls swooning? I don't get it. Really. Are they all into old farts?

More hands went up, and Dr. Swan picked someone else.

"Hi, boys," boomed the voice of one girl. Her voice was very deep. When I tried to look through the crowd to see who was talking, I saw her. It was a she-man! And she was wearing an "I love Jacob Black" t-shirt, too! Ahhhh!!

"My name is Louise. This question is for Jacob. Do you have a girlfriend right now?"

Should I lie or tell the truth? Because it looks like the she-man is checking me out.

"Uhh…"

Edward just had to answer the question for me. "He's very much single, Louise."

"Will you go out with me?!" she…he…shim begged.

Oh my gosh, I was just asked out by a she-man. How can it get any worse than this?

I spat out my answer. "No."

"But Jacob – "

Luckily, Dr. Swan came to my rescue. "Next question!"

I could tell Edward was laughing.

"That's what you get for wanting fan girls," he whispered to me, chuckling.

"I hate you."

"If I had $1 every time you told me that or thought that, I'd be richer than Bill Gates."

"I hate you."

"That's $2 right now…"

We had more questions, and when I say we, I really mean Edward. Everyone's so obsessed with him. Except for Louise, the she-man. Gosh, it really looks like she has a beard. Eventually, the period was over, so the question and answer segment had to end.

"Let's give a round of applause for our guests," said Dr. Swan.

Yet another round of screams came. The girls all left except Louise.

"C'mon, Jacob," she/he said. "I know you want me." The she-man was coming closer to me.

"Uhh...no!" I backed up. A little help here….please…anybody!

"Are you afraid of commitment?"

"Uhh…"

"Yes, he is," interrupted Edward.

"What the- "

"I'm sorry, Louise, but I'm afraid Jacob here is a bit traumatized from today's experience. So I would suggest that you keep a far distance from him just in case he goes into shock."

"But he can't! I'm just so beautiful that he can't!"

I'm gonna puke!

"Please, Louise. For your safety and the others around you, just leave."

"But-"

"You don't want us to phase into our dangerous sides, do you?"

The shim was getting scared now and shook her/his head. "No."

"Then go."

Louise ran out of the room and was gone.

I breathed heavily. "Thanks, man."

"Don't mention it," he said.

"You didn't have to do it."

"Uh, yeah, I did."

"What?"

"It's in the treaty."

"Huh?"

"Didn't you read the fine print?"

I glared at him. He was getting back at me for making fun of him early about not reading the fine print. He was laughing.

"C'mon, Jake. Let's go to our other destination."

So we walked back to the Volvo when all of a sudden the fan girls who were in the room with us earlier brought their friends and started walking towards us.

"It's them!" shouted one girl.

Then a mob of girls started running after us.

"Quick. RUN!" shouted Edward.

I ran as fast as I possibly could without phasing into my wolf form. Edward ran with lightning speed. He was there much sooner than I was. Darn you, vampires, and your running ability! Not only am I jealous of him because of Bella but because of something else. UGH! What's becoming of me?

"Fasten your seat belt," he instructed me. "This is gonna be a wild ride."

He slammed on the gas pedal as the mob of girls ran for us. Some of them got in their cars and slammed on their gas pedals, too. Oh, how are we gonna get out of this alive? (And to think we could potentially die from fan girls and not each other…)

Author's Note: The song mentioned here is "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-A-Lot. Check out the video sometime if you have the chance. It's hilarious.