Okay, I'm so so sorry for not updating this sooner. Life has been kicking my ass. Oh, and some of my other favorite fics haven't been updated, so I didn't have any inspiration. But here it is. Finally.

Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters.

Silence.

That's all she heard when she woke up that morning.

Nothing.

It was menacing, threathening almost. No pager, no snoring from the man beside her, no dog barking. Nothing.

She didn't like silence. When she was alone, she would listen to music or just listen to the television to drown out the silence. When she was with someone, anyone, she would ramble, just to make noise. She didn't care what anyone said, silence was not golden.

She thought she didn't like the silence between her and another person because she wasn't all that good at reading people. She didn't like it when she didn't know what people were thinking. It almost scared her to look at another person without knowing what they were thinking.

She opened her eyes and looked at the sleeping form of the man beside her. She couldn't even hear him breathing. If she couldn't see that his chest was moving up and down, she would of thought he wasn't breathing. She studied his features and felt his warm skin touching hers. She watched his lips twitch slightly in his sleep. She reached out to touch his silken curls, but pulled back. She didn't want to disturb his sleep.

She rolled over in the bed and winced. A general bad feeling crept through her body. Something was wrong. She closed her eyes tight and tried to will away the feeling. Waking up with a beautiful man in your bed after a long, long night wasn't something to feel bad about.

Usually.

She opened her eyes again.

Silence.

It was killing her. She needed noise, something, anything. She flopped onto her stomach and buried her face in the pillow.

A few seconds passed.

And there it was. It was the first sound that morning. It was loud and unappealing. It made her jump, and let out a small shriek. It shook her to the core and made her want the unrelenting silence back. It scared her, even though she knew it was the dog in the other room. He knocked something over.

She looked over to the man in her bed. He was still sound asleep. The noise didn't even make him flinch. He didn't move a muscle.

It was silent again.

----

The next time Meredith woke up, she was met by the sound of her phone vibrating on the nightstand. She reached over and looked at it.

It was him. She pushed the ignore button and set it back on the nightstand.

"Why are we ignoring people today?"

Meredith buried her head back in the pillow and mumbled some incoherent sentences.

Derek laughed. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her small body towards his. He buried his head in her shoulder and peppered her neck with kisses. She answered by squirming and giggling.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand you while you're wearing a pillow on your face." Derek whispered in her ear.

Meredith didn't respond, she just took Derek's hand in her's and started to kiss his knuckles.

He started to nip at her earlobe. "Are you ignoring me too?"

Meredith shook her head in a negative response.

"Are you sure?"

Meredith nodded her head yes.

"So who was on the phone?"

She turned around and looked into Derek's eyes.

"No one special." Meredith smiled.

----

They were sitting at the table eating lunch. The two weren't making eye contact, nor were they talking. They just sat there and ate their respective sandwiches.Every once in a while, Meredith would look up at Derek and just stare. It would take a few seconds for Derek to look up from the newspaper he was reading, but when he did, he didn't tell her to stop looking at him, but he would just stare back until Meredith would look down back at her food.

Finn is coming home tomorrow, I need to tell him.

Meredith found herself staring at Derek again. She didn't take her eyes off of him, like she was burning his image into her brain. It was that odd feeling in her gut that something was going to happen today. Something bad. And if something bad were to happen, Derek's image would be the last thing she saw. She was awoken from her trance when Derek casually took her hand in his. He didn't look up, he didn't say anything, he just held her hand. Like he knew there was something wrong, something eating at her on the inside. When she felt the contact, she instantly looked back down to her food, like she was embarrassed.

Meredith Grey, you need to tell him before he finds out.

She looked up out the window. The sky was really overcast, it was going to rain in a couple of hours. The sun was struggling to creep out behind the thick clouds, but those clouds weren't allowing access.The foggy wheather paralled her gloomy personality.

"We should walk Bear before it starts to rain, Mer." Derek's rang out, slicing into Meredith's thougths.

Meredith's spirits rised a bit. She needed to get out of that house she shared with Finn.Taking a walk would be the perfect opportunity to tell Derek the bad news.

"Okay, I'll go get the leash." She said as she got out of her seat. "I'll be right back."

"Don't forget to bring a jacket, hon, it's real cold outside."

"Okay!" She yelled from the other room. She could hear her phone start to vibrate in the kitchen. "Oh, hey, Derek, could you get that? It's probably Izzie, we're supposed to have lunch tomorrow."

"Yeah, sure." Derek got up and walked over to her phone on the counter. The caller ID stated Meredith was getting a call from a restricted number. He opened the phone without a second thought. "Hello?"

"Hey, Meri!"

----

Meredith walked into her room and sat down on her bed. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

Oh god, I have to tell him. I have to tell Derek about Finn. I have to tell my boyfriend about my other boyfriend. I can't do it. I can't do it!

Meredith fell to her back on the bed. Her breathing started to become labored and heavy. She closed her eyes shut real tight, and pinched her nose at the bridge. She couldn't believe she let things get so bad.

What did I do? What did I do? What did I do?

"Hey Meri."

Meredith's eyes shot open real fast. Her whole body froze, and she felt sick. She felt like there was a huge 10 ton elephant sitting on her chest and she just swallowed her tongue. She slowly sat up on her bed to come into contact with Derek. Meredith didn't dare to look into his eyes. She knew what lie beneath them. Anger, hurt, sadness, lonliness, hate. The one thing she most wanted to see in them she knew wouldn't be there. She felt the tears stinging the back of her eyes. She wanted nothing more than to run into his arms and forget everything else. This isn't what she wanted. She wanted Izzie to be on the phone, not Finn.

"I'm so sorry, Derek." She whispered, almost inaudible to him. She thought he didn't hear her when he just started talk, rambling and didn't stop.

"Yeah, so I had an interesting talk with Finn. He told me everything, Meri." Derek spat out.

"Derek..."

"No, Meredith, it's okay, I should of known you had a boyfriend when you told me."

"But I..."

"EXACTLY! You didn't tell me, Meredith, you didn't tell me you had a boyfriend of one year! Meredith! You didn't tell me! You had two weeks to tell me! Why didn't you tell me?!" By now, Derek was yelling at Meredith. She was still sitting on the bed and Derek took a few steps forward. He was standing about two inches from her, yelling. She was scared. She was scared of Derek, she never, ever thought she would be. Derek was the last person Meredith ever thought she would be scared of. And she didn't want to be.

"Derek, I... I'm so sorry." She whispered.

"Answer my question!"

"I... I didn't..."

"What was I to you?! Just some cheap fuck?! Then you just go back to your 'real' boyfriend?!"

This time Meredith got mad. Derek was more to her than she could communicate. It broke her heart to hear him talk about himself like that. If anything, she felt like she was cheating on Derek with Finn.

"Never." Meredith said loudly, standing up. "Never were you just some... some..." Meredith paused. "Cheap fuck." She added with a whisper.

"Then why, Meredith?! Why didn't you tell me?!" Derek yelled. He was pacing. He was just trying to understand where she was coming from.

A few seconds passed and still Meredith just stood there watching Derek walk around the room like a madman. She still hasn't answered his question. Then, he suddendly stopped and looked into Meredith's eyes. Right then, Meredith's eyes filled with the tears that were threathening to fall all day.

"Meredith." Derek said slowly, lightly. "I know..." He paused tyring to find the right words to say. "I know we only have known each other for two weeks. But," He took a step closer to her. "But you should know, you can tell me anything."

"I do." She said. "I do know that. I trust you, Derek. I know I can tell you anything. But this..." She paused. "This was different. This was bigger. I didn't want to hurt you." She added with a whisper.

Derek took a step back from her, like she just struck him. He looked away from her face, anywhere but her face. His eyes just happened to fall on her dresser. He didn't know why he didn't notice it before, but there was a picture on it. The woman and the man in the picture were hold hands, staring into each others' eyes, full of love. He recognized the woman as Meredith, and only assumed the man was Finn.

"And what do you think I feel now?" Derek said, his voice full of hurt. "The woman I fell in lo..." He paused and shook his head. "The woman I just spent the last two weeks with, the woman I shared my deepest secrets with lied to me! You lied and now nothing will be the same!" Derek spat out.

Meredith's heart sank at that last sentence. Those tears that were blurring her vision were now long rivers streaming down her cheeks. She couldn't speak, she felt paralyzed. She just stood there, watching Derek walk out of her room in a blind rage.

If everything we've got is blowing away

We've got a rock and a rock till our dying day.

She couldn't believe it, he just walked out the room like that. She started to follow, then she heard the front door open and close. Then, Meredith started running. She had to catch up to him. She had to tell him everything.

She caught up to him outside. The rain was pouring down. Her clothes were getting soaked, but she didn't care. Right now, all she cared about was him.

"Derek!"

"What do you want?" Derek yelled back. "Do you have anymore boyfriends you don't want to tell me about?"

"Derek, I'm sorry!" Meredith pleaded. "This wasn't supposed to be like this!" Meredith touched his arm. "Derek, please don't leave."

He looked at her. He did feel sorry for her, but he was so angry at the same time. He wanted to stay, but he was so furious. "Meredith... I can't"

I'm holding on to you, holding onto me

Maybe it's all we've got, but it's all I need

You're all I need

Meredith started to cry again. Her grip on his arm got tighter. He looked down at her face again. It was breaking his heart to leave her, but he had to.

And if all we've got is what no one can break

I know I love you

If that's all we can take

"Derek I'm so sorry." He pulled out of her grip and started to walk towards his car. She just stood there, not knowing what to do. All she could do was watch him walk away. She took another step forward, as if to go after him again, but it was too late, he was already taking off.

"I'm so sorry." She cried to herself. She was alone now. She looked up to the sky, the raindrops dropping onto her face. She felt her legs give out beneath her, and she fell to the muddy ground.

The tears are coming down

They're mixing with the rain

I know I love you, if that's all we can take.

Meredith sat in her front yard, looking at the street, like she was waiting for him come back.

"I love you."

But this time, no one said it back.

It was silent again.

Okay, there it was.

You may proceed to yell at me now.

-Mary