Chapter Five: How to Kill a Reputation
Week 2--Day 1
Daylight came, as it always did, does, and likely always will. Sometimes it comes with anticipation, others with regret, and others with dawning inspiration. But this particular morning, for Lily, to say the least, was a mix between anxiety and horror.
She rolled over in bed, keeping her eyes shut tight, pulling the covers over her head. The suspense was nearly murdering her for what she was worth, but it did not prevent her from delaying further. After all, suspense to something terrible is the lesser of the two evils, and naturally, that was the one she'd rather choose.
In the warmth of her bed, she waited. She anticipated the pecking of an owl against her window, fluttering his wings impatiently. And thus, she squeezed her eyes shut tighter, expecting to hear it any moment. But it never did come.
At last, curiosity overcame and she opened her eyes, despite her better judgment. She was always too curious for her own good, she admitted--there had been that time when she had unwittingly entered her sister's room and found a rather disturbing sight of her and her boyfriend--Dursley, wasn't it?--kissing.
She pushed the memory back and cautiously lifted one eyelid, looking around. When she saw nothing, she opened her other eye, finding everything just the same as it was the other day. Her friends were sleeping with calm looks on their faces, not at all disturbed. Slowly with arising suspicion, she pushed her covers back and looked at herself through the nearby mirror. She still looked exactly the same--red hair, green eyes, pale skin. No alterations whatsoever. No letter.
Perhaps her mother had been kind enough to grant her an extra week to look for a proper boyfriend?
As soon as the thought rose in her mind, Lily quickly crushed it back down again, not letting her hopes rise. After all, she could have just waited until the morning Owl Post during breakfast this time around.
With a sinking feeling, she walked to the bathroom, the cold tiles piercing her bare feet. It was completely quiet. It often was like this in the mornings, for she normally awoke earlier to take her morning showers--something her friends never understood, taking their showers late at night.
But today, the silence bothered her greatly. Everything was too calm, too serene, too quiet. She bit her lip and told herself that it was much too early to worry and to worry during lunch. With that, she tried to ignore the feeling, but with no avail.
Slowly, she turned the bathtub knob and water started to rush out from the spout. Waiting for the water to heat up, she took one last look around. Nothing was different. Absolutely nothing, and that was what frightened her the most.
Stepping into the shower, she raised the level of heat, letting the warm water washing over her tense body, relaxing her muscles. But it did not relax her mind when she stepped back out of the shower ten minutes later, her hair dripping wet. Nor did it ease when she was finished changing and had dried her hair with a quick spell.
She looked outward toward the sun. She had a good twenty minutes before breakfast started. She normally took this time to go over homework or to read a book that she had been meaning to go through, but today, she simply couldn't concentrate on the words before her. Her mind kept on diverting and putting itself subject on her mother's schemes.
Finally, with an exasperated sigh, she closed the book and set it aside on the dresser. Standing up, she looked around. Alice had already gotten up and had entered the bathroom while she was busy contemplating about the probable plots her mother planned out. Closing her eyes briefly, Lily stood up and decided to wake up Lora.
"Bloody hell--the peanut man is coming!" Lily shouted at Lora pointedly. She heard Alice stifle a laugh in the bathroom.
Lora scrambled up, her eyes wide, looking horrified. "What?" she said, fear etched through her face. In her youth, she had been allergic to peanuts. The allergy had subsided by the time she had entered Hogwarts, however, but she still despised the taste. She looked around the room wildly, and, when finding no trace of such a creature, narrowed her eyes at Lily in a glare. "Gee, how kind of you," she muttered, lying back down and pulling the covers back over her.
"No, you're not going back to sleep," Lily said crossly, dragging Lora out. "You're already awake after all."
"Five more minutes," Lora murmured, rolling over and pulling the pillow over her head.
"Only if I get to choose your outfit!" came Alice's voice from the neighboring bathroom. Shopping one day over the summer, Alice had found an atrocious outfit with mix-matched complementary colors that was just Lora's size. Deciding that it would help her wake up, Alice had bought it and brought it with her.
At this, Lora quickly scrambled out of the bed and stumbled into the bathroom. Lily smiled, amused, hearing Lora say something along the lines of hate to Alice, who chuckled in response.
When the day continued in its normal procession, Lily's mind was once more focused onto her mother's ideas. The few minutes that had diverted her anxiety were greatly appreciated, but were now gone. And, pacing back and forth, she waited for her friends to prepare before heading down for breakfast.
When they did descend and entered the common room, the first thing that Lily noticed that was out of everyday order was the giant stacks of paper--not parchment, she noted briefly--on either side of the staircase coming down from the boys' dormitories. The three of them simultaneously stopped and stared at the stacks in horror, frozen in time.
Finally, regaining her senses, Lily rushed over, knocking a whole stack over, papers flying everywhere, making a giant mess. Normally, Lily would have felt bad and upset at such a mess, but she was not in a normal situation, caught in an ordeal such as hers. Quickly, she grabbed a piece and scanned through it, her eyes widening with horror at every word.
Lora and Alice, too, had each grabbed a piece of paper and scanned through out, aghast at its contents, for there, it read:
WANTED!
A boyfriend for Lily Evans (Seventh year Gryffindor, Head Girl)
Requirements:
Needs to be of male gender
Must be in seventh year
Preferably intelligent, charming, and handsome
Interested?
Please send an owl to the following address.
Beneath it, Lily's address to her Muggle home--and repeat? ...Muggle home--or should I repeat once more? ...MUGGLE home was printed neatly.
Hmm. Why is the word "mug" in Muggle? But point besides...
"Oh, good Merlin," Alice whispered faintly, immediately appearing at Lily's side, praying that her friend wouldn't do anything rash. And rash? An understatement, perhaps, for she motioned to burn all the wanted posters to crisp. Alice, recognizing the start of the incantation, grabbed Lily's arm and stopped her from continuing any further.
"Let go of me!" Lily said angrily to Alice, trying to pull her arm back. "Not only am I to get some boyfriend I probably don't like, but my pride has just been killed!" Alice nodded, understanding flickering in her eyes. "Let me destroy the culprit--"
"I'll let you," Alice said seriously, her eyes showing sincerity. When Lily opened her mouth tos peak, Alice interrupted her by continuing, "But not by burning it like this! You'll burn the whole Hogwarts castle down!"
"I'll be careful," Lily said angrily, trying once more to yank her arm back.
Alice shook her head. Lora caught up and grabbed ahold of Lily's other arm, too, in case she tried to do anything more drastic. "You can try," Alice agreed, "but that doesn't necessarily mean that you'll succeed."
Lily's fire was not yet put out. Lora quickly said, "Lily, think it through first. If I were about to burn something without any restraint, what would you do?"
At this, Lily faltered and lowered her wand. Her straining muscles calmed and both Lora and Alice released breaths of relief, loosening their grip on her. Lily sighed and shook her head, turning to look at them desperately. "What am I going to do, guys?" she said, pleading for help. "I can't survive this! This is--this is torture! How could Dumbledore let her do something like--" She suddenly stopped and realized what she had said, groaning inwardly.
Alice and Lora must have noticed the same thing because exasperated expressions overcame their faces at once. "Dumbledore," Lora said chidingly, shaking her head in disappointment. "You can never predict that old man, except that he's, well... unpredictable."
Lily's look of desperation suddenly hardened into anger. "This cannot be happening," she muttered. "It simply cannot!"
But whether or not she appreciated it, it was happening.
And it wasn't about to stop for a long while.
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"James, I don't think this is such a good idea."
Remus, ever the clever one--well, ever the one with common sense and a reasonable mind--shook his head as James' grin widened as he rummaged through his desk, searching for spare parchment and a quill that wasn't broken. Naturally, he completely ignored Remus.
"If you really want Lily to like you," Remus continued, though well aware that James wouldn't care about a word he said, "you should confront her instead of her mother."
James frowned at Remus' description of it. He shot a look over at him, saying, "Who ever said that I wanted Lily to like me?" He tried to keep his normal cool, but something in his voice sounded a bit strained when he said it. "It's all a joke, after all."
Sirius sighed, shaking his head. "Face it, mate," he said, leaning against the bed post, "we all know. You can hide something from others, but you can't hide it from us."
"Know what?" James said, though he already felt his heart sinking. He'd tried to keep it as though it was one big joke--despite the fact that it wasn't. He'd failed.
"That you like her," Peter said, crossing his arms.
"And," Remus continued, "if even Sirius and Peter can figure it out, then it's pretty obvious. You can't hide it."
James froze, stopping mid-search. "How many people?" he asked slowly.
Remus frowned, counting on his fingers. When he reached four, he stopped and said, "Oh, no more than perhaps the whole school?"
And one of James's greatest fears were now realized and brought to life. The whole school knew! All his attempts of being discrete were in vain. He sighed and shook his head, then resuming his search of parchment.
Remus groaned at this. "Don't tell me you're still going to ask Lily's mum?" When James did not reply but continued to search, Remus already knew that James was fighting a lost battle--and facing in the opposite direction of the enemy.
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Petunia had not been expecting much that day, for it was quite like any other. She returned from a local coffee shop where she and Vernon had exchanged words, walking home, not prepared for much.
Her expectations were disappointed.
She slipped her key into the lock and turned it, withdrawing the key and opening the door. Closing it behind her, she started, "Mu--"
Only then did she realize something: the house was floored with owls.
Owls on the countertops, owls on the television set, and owls flying toward her... while she was wearing her favorite sweater.
Naturally, she did what someone sane under such circumstances would do, other than faint.
She screamed.
"MUM!" Petunia shrieked. "WHY THE BLOODY HELL HAS OUR HOUSE JUST BECOME A HOME FOR THE OWLS?"
Anna smiled at her daughter who had just come into the house. "Oh," Anna said brightly, "these are only half of them. I sent the other half away."
Petunia forced herself to remain calm, saying in a strangled voice, "So... remind me why all these pesks are here?" Her fist was clenched to try to control her anger.
Anna, however, didn't seem to notice her daughter's stress and said, "These are all applications to be Lily's boyfriend! I never knew she was so popular!"
And now, insert practical response number two:
She fainted.
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Dear Mrs. Evans,
Hello. My name is Keith Quince...
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Dear Mrs. Anna Evans,
Hey, I'm Ethan Lurre and...
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To Mrs. Evans:
This is Luke Awry...
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To the sweet Anna Evans, mother of beautiful and lovely Lily Evans:
Hello. Allow me to introduce myself as James Potter...
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Ary Jocklehead had not noticed the stack of papers for all male gender at the Gryffindor Common Room that morning. When he returned from breakfast, however, he spotted it and reached to take a slip of paper, curious. However, he was promptly stopped by none other than the Sirius Black.
Now, Ary Jocklehead is a very sensible fellow. And so, even though Sirius Black was famous in these parts and everyone wanted to be him--except for maybe his closest friends, who were rather famous as well--he did not fall to Sirius's feet and start praising him. Rather, he looked up to the tall seventh year with a questioning look on his face.
"You can't have that," Sirius said shortly.
Ary was utterly confused, and when he had questions, he needed answers. "Why can't I?" he said. "It appears that every other male in the castle has one."
"Yeah, well," Sirius said, "they've got one because--" Sirius stopped short, remembering James's commands.
Make sure that no one else finds out about the Wanted ad. And make sure that they don't know what it's about, either.
"--because, err, they, uh, bought it," Sirius finished hastily.
Ary was now more confused than ever and he took out his moneybag, willing to pay. "How much?" he asked.
"Err... twenty Galleons," Sirius said. When he saw that Ary was actually counting out each and every Galleon, Sirius said quickly, "but you can't have it."
"Why not?" Ary demanded.
"Well, you see..." Sirius racked his mind for an idea. "We're all sold out!"
Ary nodded to the stack of papers that Sirius was standing in front of. "Then what's all that?"
Sirius started to create a story, saying, "Well, you see, err, you can't have it, because, well, it's... cursed. Yeah, it's cursed. Anyone who reads it will... err... talk about it for the rest of their lives and they won't be able to think about anything but this! But it's not true, either, see. Everything on this piece of paper is a lie. And once you read it, even if you know it's a lie, you can't stop thinking about it and you'll grow addicted and obsessed and your world will revolve around a single lie!" Sirius finished his story proudly, glad that he came up with such a brilliant idea.
Ary nodded, saying slowly, "So... it's cursed." Sirius nodded. "Then... how did it get into Hogwarts?"
Sirius was stumped. He considered it for a moment before saying, "That's what Dumbledore's trying to figure out now!"
"How do you know all this?" Ary questioned.
Now, a perfectly reasonable person who is a friend of a prefect would simply state, "Remus told me to caution everyone. He's a prefect, you know." However, I'm not sure if you realized it or not, considering the whole cake idea, Sirius is not a perfectably reasonable person, for he had said instead, "I know everything."
"Really?" Ary said, astounded. "Then you know the answers to my Muggle Studies homework! I don't understand any of it."
Sirius, who had not been expecting this, could only say blankly, "Err..."
Ary, however, didn't care and tossed Sirius the parchment on which the questions were listed. "Thanks!" he said before leaving.
Sirius looked at the portrait hole in which Ary had disappeared. "Yeah, you're welcome, too," he grumbled.
Four words: I Hate Science Fair. It's coming up, but that asides, two chapters left to be rewritten until I start writing the actual story again. Where I was stuck in writer's block...
I'm rewriting Vital Choices now as well, and I'm planning to do so on many others. Hopefully, all my rewriting will be done by April, where my schedule loosens up some and I can concentrate on new plot parts.
Please review!