Disclaimer : If I owned Avatar, Zuko would have covered himself in honey so that Katara would lick him.

In case you didn't realize, the lobster will be a recurring theme.

And That Makes Aang Blue

Aang let out a long, disgruntled sigh, letting off steam like a pressure cooker. "It's never going to end, is it?"

Bickering. Prodding. Arguing. At least they weren't yet at the point of all-out brawling.

Overall, Zuko's decision to join them had had a positive impact on the group — Aang was finally learning firebending, someone was actually putting meat on the table (Sokka's efforts were valiant but his results were lacking,) and Sokka had a willing sparring partner. In fact, the firebender was so anxious to please he too often left himself open to Katara's abuse. While this may have been unintentional, it was also annoying, and the young Avatar was determined to see it end.

I can see what's happening . . .

Toph shook her head, leaning against a pillar. "Hey, for now, I say it's just best to ignore it," she said.

What?

"But how can I solve the world's problems if I can't even get those two to make up?" Aang continued helplessly. "I know she's just trying to help, but—"

And they don't have a clue . . .

"Please, Twinkletoes, when a girl holds that much of a grudge, it ain't about no one else but her."

Who?

There were a few moments of silence while Aang's brain attempted to reboot. "What?!" It failed, just so you know.

They'll fall in love and here's the bottom line . . .

"I'm just saying, Katara's a lot more pissed about what he did to her than what she thinks he might do to you."

"What did he do to her?!"

Our trio's down to two.

Toph shrugged. "Probably just usual Sugar Queen stuff. She keeps going on about her mom's necklace and how he tied her to a tree. I thought you knew."

Oh.

"I did, but . . . ." Aang shook his head. "She's mad about that?"

The sweet caress of twilight . . .

Like the book?

Shhh! But yeah, like the book.

"And probably the thing about the cave."

"Whoa, what thing about the cave?! What cave was that?!"

"First off, you need to calm down. Secondly, you were the one who told me about it. You said when you rescued them from that cave in Ba Sing Se, they were standing all close like they were going to kiss or something."

Aang's voice jumped up a few octaves. "I never said that!"

"Ok, so maybe I embellished the details. I still say we leave it alone. You can't solve

everything, and you need to practice your earthbending."

"But I can solve this. I can't have my waterbending master fighting with my firebending master over something as stupid as this."

There's magic everywhere . . .

"Oh, no you don't," Toph said, grabbing Aang's collar. "They're big kids now. They can

solve this one their own, and it's going to be a lot more entertaining if they do."

"You think my best friend and my firebending teacher fighting is entertaining?! They could endanger the whole mission!!"

And with all this romantic atmosphere . . .

Toph only sighed. "No, but I think your crush and your best friend stuck between so much sexual tension is absolutely hilarious. They're going to have to get it out of their systems sometime."

Disaster's in the air!

And at that moment, the new avatar was conceived in the water tribe, the previous one having dropped dead of a heart condition or brain aneurism or massive rupture of an artery in his nose. Curious that it seems to have happened in a broom closet at the Western Air Temple. Uncanny, that.

I know what your thinking. And you should be ashamed of yourselves! Clearly, the Zutara has gotten to your brains, and you've been blinded to the possible meanings of Toph's last statement.

Sorry. Pointless Zutara crack. Had to get it out of my system. Carry on!

[And by carry on, I mean review, or you'll find yourself in the way of a herd of stampeding lemmings, which, incidentally, are not so cute and cuddly when you are standing between them and a cliff. I mean . . . um . . . kittens?