Lindsay pulled Cindy closer to her and yawned before she opened her eyes. When she actually looked at the redhead, she was greeted with a kiss. "Morning." She whispered.
"Why are you whispering?" Cindy asked, smiling.
"I don't really know. Maybe to not wake the dog?"
"The dog is in the other room. Next excuse?"
"Shut up." Lindsay whispered, kissing her. "Least I didn't have to be handcuffed to the bedposts."
"Pity. I was kinda looking forward to that happening." Cindy replied, smirking. "Maybe some other time." She frowned as Lindsay's phone began buzzing. "It's Saturday!" She whined as Lindsay reached for the phone.
"Boxer." She looked apologetically at Cindy. "Yeah, I'll be there in thirty." She said, closing the phone. "I'm sorry. When I get home, we can go by your apartment. Okay?" Cindy nodded and tried to keep her composure. Lindsay reluctantly crawled out of the bed and headed into the bathroom. When she emerged, Cindy was in the living room eating a bowl of cereal, looking far younger than her twenty-seven years with the way she had her hair pulled up and the pajamas certainly weren't helping. For the first time in the past month, Lindsay finally saw that Cindy didn't ooze innocence anymore. She had finally grown up. She has been grown up, Linz. You just haven't seen it until now. "Hey. You gonna be okay by yourself today?"
She looked up and forced a smile. "I'll be fine. I am a big kid now, you know." She laughed as Lindsay rolled her eyes. "Have any idea when you will be home?"
"Sadly, no I don't. But I will call and keep you updated." She kissed the top of Cindy's head as she left. The redhead leaned back on the couch and took a few breaths to calm herself down. She had to tell Lindsay about Arik at some point. She just knew she would. But she had no idea how to tell her. All of the ways she envisioned trying ended up with Lindsay's gun in her face. She knew the woman wouldn't actually threaten to shoot her, but the thought and fear were still there. She might threaten to kill Arik. That could reduce a threat by one right there. Almost tempting. She thought of playing it off as rape, but she knew she couldn't get away with it since she had every bit to do with it as he did. She took her bowl into the kitchen and rinsed it out and debated going out somewhere for the day. There was a knock on the door and she cautiously moved towards it. Not many people knew she was here, and someone knocking truly scared her. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Jill.
"Hey." She said, opening the door. She moved aside to let the blonde woman in.
"Lindsay here?"
"Nope. Got a call, then left."
"Good. I have to talk to you."
"About?"
"Getting a restraining order against Arik." She said, sitting down. "I think it might be a good idea. Since he is still out there somewhere."
"I don't know. I would want to talk it over with Lindsay." She said, sitting in one of the chairs. "I mean, it is something that I would really want her input on and everything." Plus, him staying away from me isn't the problem. It's me staying away from him. She thought, biting on her lip. "But yeah, thanks for your concern." She added, attempting a smile.
"Cindy.." Jill said. She sighed at the adamant look the redhead gave her. "Fine. But let me know when you come to a decision. I have the form."
"Whatever." She said. Jill looked at her carefully.
"What's been up with you lately? Linz says you have been in mood swing major."
"What? Am I not allowed to have emotions now?" She said, standing up. "Do you have any idea how long I have had to pretend to just be happy and had to fight back all these mood swings?"
"Do you know how hard Lindsay has to pretend to be okay with them?!" Jill yelled, standing up and matching Cindy's tone. "Half of the time, you treat her like she is just a random piece of junk that you can just toss off to the side when you get pissy. You don't realize how much it hurts her, how much it affects her!"
"Well, jeez, it sounds like you know her and care about her more than I do. Why don't you go fuck her since you obviously think I don't treat her right! You can have her, if you want, Jill. Because if my being with her is going to mean that you and Claire can dictate how I treat Linz, then I don't want any part of it!" She yelled. Jill looked at her, dumbfounded. Without saying another word, she left Cindy alone in the house. The redhead let the tears fall as she went into the bedroom and gathered as much of her stuff as she could find. After grabbing her laptop, she threw everything into her car and took a few deep breaths. She went back into the house and found a piece of paper and sat at the table.
Linz,
As cliché as it sounds, by the time you read this I won't be here. I don't know where I will be. I might drive north and I might drive south. I haven't decided yet. I need to get away, because you obviously don't need me if all I do is treat you like dirt. At least, according to Jill, that is how I treat you. At some point, when I can get myself in check and know what I want, I might come back. But I don't expect you to wait around for me. Maybe you should try Jill. She seems to care about you more than I could. Good riddance, for now.
Cindy
She taped the note to the fridge before locking up and leaving. As she neared the edge of San Francisco, she decided to head North. She didn't know where she was going to go, but anywhere was better than that God-Forsaken city. As she got farther and farther from the city where Lindsay was, the more she felt the urge to cry. The farther away, the more she could feel her heart breaking. She was going to regret this, but she had to leave. She had to find herself. And for once, she wasn't going to have anything standing in her way.