Chapter 13: Adieu

July 27, 1977 Tuesday, 8:40 AM

Gwen glanced worriedly at Sirius who was being unusually quiet.

"Let's visit Echo Island," said Sirius suddenly.

"But we went a few days ago," said Gwen with surprise.

"Let's go anyway," said Sirius.

"I already agreed to meet Narcissa and Aquila to—" Gwen started.
"I'll go and owl them to cancel it," she said quickly as Sirius looked solemnly back at her.

When Sirius was being serious, it was an indication that something was seriously wrong.

Sirius watched as Gwen left the room to owl her friends.
They had to go to Echo Island because it was the only place they could truly be alone. He needed to be alone with her, to say goodbye.

He still couldn't believe it. He hadn't been adopted after all. All this time, all these years, he had thought that the Blacks were his adoptive parents when in reality, it was the other way around. TheDavisons were his adoptive parents and the Blacks were his biological parents.
But how could he not have seen it before now? How could he have not seen the resemblance between him and his father? Was he blind? He was the replica of his father, from their grey eyes down to their tan complexion.

Which led to the fact that Gwen really was his twin.

Sirius let out a bitter laugh. Hadn't people told him for years how he and Gwen were unmistakably twins? He should have been able perceive it before now, with everyone always mentioning the uncanny resemblance between he and Gwen. Any fool would have noticed something. But he had merely laughed at them, thinking that they were being fooled.

Well, the joke was on him.

Sirius felt a surge of anger. Why hadn't they told him? Why had they made a fool of him, excluding him from the secret that everyone but he himself had known?
If only they had told him sooner. If only they had told him when they brought him back… At the very least he wouldn't have fallen in love with his sister.

But no, that wasn't entirely true. He had loved Gwen before they had brought him back, before they had discovered that he was their son.

[Flashback

Sirius and Gwen were walking hand in hand down the street when a man hurriedly rushed by them and knocked Sirius over.

"Lee! Are you alright?" Gwen cried out.

"Yes, don't worry. I'm fine," Sirius assured her.

"Hey Mister! Apologize!" Gwen screamed after the man.

"It's okay, Gwen," said Sirius, getting up from the ground.

Gwen ignored him and ran after the man and grabbed at his sleeve. "Look what you did to Lee! Apologize!" she demanded.

The man scowled down at her. "You insolent little girl! You don't speak to your elders that way!"

He tried to shake her off but she held on tightly and he threw her back with a glare.

"Gwen!" Sirius rushed to her as she fell on hard on the ground.

"You hit Gwen!" Sirius said indignantly, swinging his fists at the man.

The man threw Sirius on the ground as well and he landed besides Gwen. "Pesky little kids," he growled.

Seeing Sirius also thrown on the ground, Gwen sprang back up and ran toward the man with indignant cry. She kicked as high as her short legs would allow and he fell to the ground groaning with pain as her feet made contact between his legs.

"RUN!"

Gwen helped Sirius back up and the two ran back in the opposite direction.

Panting, the two hid behind a brick wall and peeked out to make sure the man wasn't following.

"Thanks," Sirius panted.

Gwen grinned back at him. "What are friends for?" she said, squeezing his hand.

[End of flashback

Even if his parents had told him when they brought him back, it wouldn't have stopped his love. If they had told him then, when he would have been unable to comprehend his love for Gwen nor comprehend the concept of love itself, it would have merely tainted it…poisoned it.

Too young to know what love was, if faced with the knowledge that such feelings were wrong, his love would have been poisoned by this knowledge before he could even realize that it had been love. It would have become unrecognizably twisted and warped and he wouldn't have been able to cope with it.

It was better to know now, when he could at least understand, even if he still couldn't cope with it.

Gwen walked through the bathroom into his room, smiling brightly at him and Sirius barely managed to keep from grimacing.
It almost pained him to look at her now. To look at her beautiful, angelic face and to know that she was his sister.

Because it meant his love for her was wrong. How could something as pure, something as beautiful and powerful as love be this wrong?

"Let's go," said Gwen.
"Snuffles," she called, looking under Sirius' bed.

"I don't think we should take Snuffles with us today," said Sirius as Snuffles came bounding into his room. "He's been a bit tired out lately."

"Um, okay," said Gwen, watching an energetic Snuffles jumping on Sirius.

"Stay," Sirius said as Snuffles began to follow them out of the room.

Snuffles began to whine piteously and Sirius sighed.
"I need to be alone with her right now. You understand, don't you?" he said softly to Snuffles.

Snuffles barked softly in understanding.
"Thanks pal," smiled Sirius.

Twenty minutes later, he and Gwen were by the lake. Sirius transfigured a rock into a small wooden row boat big enough for two.

"We're going to row?" said Gwen curiously. They had never gone rowing before; it had always been rafting.

"Rafting is for fooling and splashing around," Sirius explained. "And I'm going to row. You're going to enjoy the scenery."

"Er-alright," said Gwen. Since when had Sirius been so… sentimental?

Gwen climbed into the wooden boat and Sirius sat directly across from and picked up the paddles.
Gwen relaxed as Sirius swiftly paddled and they smoothly glided into the lake. "You're right. This is even better than rafting."
She smiled as she watched Sirius. Watching the smooth movement of his arms, the ease with which he moved, the shadows cast on his face by the sun overhead.

Sirius looked up as he felt her gaze on him and smiled, belying his heartache. Though the shadows hid his face, it was directly shining in Gwen's face and her cheery smile only served to deepen his heartache.
"I told you to watch the scenery, not me," he said lightly.

"It's not my fault I can't resist," Gwen replied with a wink.

They rowed through the lake and continued as it merged into the sea where the cave was located. They rowed through the dark cave and climbed out of the boat when they arrived at the island.

"Anything you want to do?" Sirius asked as he held a hand out to help her out of the boat.

"Let's go exploring since you're so into scenery today. Or we could go biking. Explore and ride at the same time," said Gwen.

Sirius nodded. "Sounds good."

They walked to the small hut in the middle of the island where they had kept their bikes. Sirius, Gwen, and Regulus had built the hut over the holidays last year and it was pretty good quality if they said so themselves.

They approached the door and Sirius stepped forward to give the password. It had been his turn to make up a password and though he had found it extremely amusing at the time, it merely sickened him now. "Slytherin sucks."

The door swung open and they entered their spare room to retrieve their bikes. They led the bikes out onto the path and began to ride side by side.

"Gwen, promise me something?" Sirius called softly.

"Of course. Anything for you," Gwen replied.

"Promise me that even if…if something happens to me or I can't be by your side anymore, that you won't forget," said Sirius.

"What do you mean if something happens to you? What's wrong, Sirius?" Gwen asked anxiously.

"Nothing. I'm just saying…just in case," Sirius said assuringly. "Promise you won't forget."

"Forget what?" asked Gwen.

Sirius smiled wistfully. "This day, this moment. Even if I'm not besides you anymore, even if our Houses divide us, I want to you remember today, this moment and remember that no matter what…I love you."

Gwen nodded fervently. "I'll remember."

Good, because in times to come, both of us will need today to look back on, Sirius thought sadly.

Our last day together…

As they were riding along the path, they felt light drops of rain beginning to fall.

Sirius looked up at the sky then turned to Gwen. "Let's go back to the hut," he said.

"Alright," said Gwen.

They turned their bikes around and began to pedal as fast as they could to get out of the rain which was starting to pour down. Just as they were within sight of the hut, Gwen's bike ran over a small rock and skid in the muddy water that had gathered because of the rain. The bike flew through the air, depositing Gwen twenty feet away.

"Gwen!" Sirius immediately flew to her side, leaping off his own bike and leaving it unceremoniously on the muddy ground.

"I-I'm alright," said Gwen.

She slowly attempted to stand up but crumpled back to the ground, her hand flying to her left leg. Tears of pain filled her eyes and overflowed, mingling with the rain.

"What's wrong? Did you break something?" Sirius asked anxiously.

"I think my leg is broken," said Gwen.

Without another word, Sirius picked her up bridal style and ran for the hut.

Once they were inside, Sirius dried both of them then healed Gwen's leg under her guidance. Gwen was usually the one who healed the injuries the Marauders acquired during full moon and she was getting to be a very capable Healer.

"Do you feel better now?" asked Sirius.

"Yes, much better. Thanks," Gwen replied, smiling her appreciation at him.

Gwen stood and headed to the door and Sirius followed after her. Once outside, they watched the rain pouring in front of them, standing under the shelter of the mini roof over them. Watching the pouring rain was an activity that they enjoyed together. As Gwen had once said, though they found light drizzling or rain a bit depressing, it was somewhat refreshing to watch it pouring down.

Gwen inhaled deeply and let out a contented sigh. "I love the scent of rain," she said.

The scent of rain... It was another one of those inside moments between the two of them.

"Yes, me too. So fresh, isn't it?" said Sirius, also breathing in.

The rain stopped as suddenly as it started and they watched as the sun began to shine over the island.

"Look Gwen, a rainbow," said Sirius, pointing to the sky over the large cherry tree in front of their hut.

Gwen admired the rainbow for a few moments before she spoke. "You know what I think a rainbow is? I think a rainbow is the entrance to Heaven," she said dreamily.

"What do you think happens if you go to Heaven?" Sirius asked.

"Hmm…Heaven is supposed to be a perfect world, isn't it?" said Gwen.

"A perfect world…a world with no sadness or pain. A world with no separation," Sirius said wistfully.

"No sorrow? I don't know about that. As much as I dislike sorrow, don't you think that it's sort of a necessity? If one experiences sorrow, wouldn't the joy that one experiences afterwards be that much greater?" Gwen said pensively.
"If everything is only happiness, it would become bland and worthless," she said.

"You're right. Sorrow does add excitement to life," Sirius agreed.
"But there would be no separation. A perfect world where I would never be forced to say goodbye again. I would never have to leave or be left behind," he said.

Gwen looked sorrowfully at him. Was he remembering his dead parents? Perhaps he too had recovered his memory the way she had?

"I suppose things would be different beyond the rainbow? Things would change?" said Sirius.

"I suppose," Gwen agreed. "Something has to change or it can't really be called Heaven," she said.

"Even so, even if everything has changed, my heart would remain unchanged," said Sirius.
He looked into her deep eyes, willing her to comprehend the double meaning in his words. That change would soon come upon them. That everything yet nothing would change between them. However she seemed unable to understand, or rather, she chose not to.

Gwen smiled. Yes, Sirius understood. He always did.

July 28, 1977 Wednesday,12:40 AM

Regulus was walking by Gwen's room, past midnight, when he glimpsed a dark figure sitting by her bed through the slightly ajar door.

Regulus began to open the door, slightly alarmed, when he recognized Sirius' voice.

What in the world were Sirius and Gwen up to at nearly one in the morning?

Probably hatching up a major prank of some sort, Regulus thought with amusement. Then he realized that Gwen was asleep and that Sirius' voice was wavering, as if he was on the verge of crying.

But Sirius never cried, Regulus thought with astonishment.
It was one of the thing he respected most in Sirius; his strength.
Even when they were children, Sirius had never cried while he, Regulus, had cried at the drop of a hat, to the disgust of their father who had thought of tears as a weakness.

"You say that you know Slytherins," Sirius was saying, "but I'm afraid that your knowledge will only serve to blind you to the truth."
"You mustn't forget, that Slytherins are known for their slyness, their cunning," he said. "Cunning, which can serve as a mask, so that not even their closest can see what truly lies beneath."

"And sometimes, sometimes people can change," Sirius said wistfully. "And I'm afraid that, because you know them, you'll fall into denial. That you'll refuse to accept the truth…that they aren't the same people you knew."

Sirius paused and an agonized look came over his countenance. "But I'm more afraid that you will accept it…and the truth, it'll hurt you. The truth will destroy you."

"I hope I'm wrong. I hope that you're right and I'm merely underestimating Slytherins," Sirius said earnestly.
"For your sake, I hope I'm wrong."

"Goodbye, Starr. Take care," Sirius gently kissed her forehead. "I love you."

Regulus nearly gasped as he glimpsed Sirius face as he stood up. Even in the darkness, the intense sorrow and anguish on his face was unmistakable.

What was going on? Regulus watched Sirius as he headed back to his room through the bathroom that connected his room with Gwen's.

"Goodbye, Sirius," Regulus said softly.
"I love you," he said sadly.

July 28, 1977 Wednesday,2:50 AM

Sirius opened his door which was directly across the hall from Regulus'.

Sirius stepped through the door to Regulus' room and looked around the room illuminated by the moonlight.

He gently picked up the snitch picture frame that Regulus kept on his desk.
Over the frame glass was their family picture but no one, save Regulus himself, had ever seen the picture underneath the glass, hidden by the family picture.

Sirius smiled; he and Gwen had a bet going about the picture underneath. He said that it was probably some girl Regulus was infatuated with and Gwen said that it was definitely something else though exactly what, she refused to say.

Sirius traced the outline of the family picture; it was a picture taken the year before he had started Hogwarts. Back when their family had been peaceful and perfectly happy.
He gave the picture one last longing look before he turned to the bed where Regulus lay, sound asleep.

"Goodbye, Reg. I love you too."

July 28, 1977 Wednesday,3:10 AM

Sirius silently crept through the house to the front door when he suddenly heard his mother's voice from behind him.
"Where do you think you're going, young man?" she shrieked, waking up the entire household.

Damn, he thought. I've forgotten about that bloody portrait in the hallway.

"Yes, where are you going at this time of night, Sirius?" said Orion, who had Apparated behind him in his nightrobes.

"I'm sorry, Dad," said Sirius, "but I can't stay here with her any longer."

"Who?" Orion frowned, already knowing the answer.

"Yes, who?" Walburga said silkily, appearing behind him.

"You know who," Sirius said viciously. "I know everything. I know what really happened that night twelve years ago."
"And I know why," he finished softly.

Neither needed to ask him which night he was referring to. It was the night that stood out the most vividly in their memories. The night that had never ceased to haunt them.

"Sirius," said Orion, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Why did you go along with her lie, Dad?" Sirius asked desolately. "Why did I have to grow up not even knowing my true parentage?"

Orion sighed but all he replied was, "I'm sorry, Sirius."
Not yet…it's too soon. If only you'd made your discovery a few years later… I could have told you everything then. But its not time yet. In a few years…

Sirius nodded before turning to leave once more.

"Sirius!" Gwen cried, scrambling down the stairs.
"Please, don't go. Stay with me," she pled, hugging him around the middle.

Sirius hesitated.
He knew that it was out of question that he stay but perhaps he could ask Gwen to come with him. Yes, it was painful to look at her, to be with her, but surely it was better than to not see her at all?

But then he saw the smirk on his mother's face. The glint of triumph satisfaction in her eyes. And Sirius finally realized just how dangerous of a person his mother was.
Gwen was his vulnerable point and she knew it, he realized.

And she'll use Gwen to get to me if necessary. Her own precious daughter, Sirius thought, sickened.

But then, it shouldn't have surprised him. She had denounced her son, why not her daughter as well?

Sirius pried her arms away from him and stepped back. "From this moment on, you and I are strangers, Black," Sirius said viciously before turning away and finally leaving Grimmauld Place.