Disclaimer: See chapter 1
A/N: Thank you for your support regarding request for readers to review; I am grateful. But please don't feel obligated to leave a review for every chapter if you do not feel like it. I know it's difficult and you often end up saying the same old stuff, which quickly becomes tedious for both reader and author. It wasn't my intention to harangue people into reviewing my story, it was just nice to see that the high volume of readers the story was getting, were in fact enjoying the fic and not reading it once; hating it without passing comment on why they hated it.
I would just like to clarify that I didn't ask people to review out of narcissism and I am not writing for the sole aim of getting reviews. A prime example of why I ask readers to review was demonstrated in my other work-in- progress You Can't Always Get What You Want(shameless advertising there [Remus/Sirius, MWPP) where one reader picked up a spelling error and a continuity flaw within the story (extremely rare occurrence for me). I don't have a beta; you guys are my betas!
Thank you and enjoy!
Chapter 20: Just call me Your Majesty
Sirius entered the main bar area of the Leaky Cauldron from the designated Floo network hearth. He knew he only had a short timeframe before Bratherton's Apothecary closed and so headed directly outside to the charmed walled that protected the entrance to Diagon Alley.
Once through, he hurried along the street to his destination. In his haste, he didn't see the small pink-haired woman step into his path and almost collided with her.
"Tonks! Sorry, I was miles away." He greeted his cousin and best friend's wife. "Where's Moony?" He asked looking around.
"Working hard until six o'clock."
Since the war ended, Remus had been managing the Diagon Alley branch of Vablatsky's Books.
"Where are you off to such in a hurry?"
"Doing some shopping for Sev. He couldn't make it himself; supervising a group of sixth years in detention. Walk with me." They carried on towards Bratherton's.
"How's Sev? How are you settling into married life? You two really did seem happy when we came over for Christmas day. Remus thinks he's a calming influence on you."
"God, is it that obvious? Severus is great by the way. Anyway, what about you? How's Lupin junior there." He asked, casting his to her slightly swollen belly.
"Okay once the sickness subsided but my ankles have started to swell, which I can tell is no fun."
Sirius contemplated and looked around cautiously.
"Can I tell you something but don't spread the word just yet."
"Of course." Tonks said, leaning in; a look of concern etched on her face.
"We're going trying for a baby." He was momentarily deafened as the metamorphagus squealed her delight at the news. She sudden became conscious of their surroundings and clamped her hand over mouth.
"Has Sev taken the potion yet?"
"Er...Sev's not going to be the one to carry it. I am."
"Oh, I just assumed…" She said, clearly embarrassed at making such a faux pas.
"Don't worry Tonks, we're not stupid you know. We do know how everyone views the dynamics of our relationship. Severus didn't want to be the carrier and I have always loved kids. I doted on you and Harry when you were small." He remembered affectionately. "And in answer to your question, no I have taken it yet. In fact that's what I'm in town for. Sev needs some of the ingredients for it."
"Well, let me give you a piece of advice. When you do finally do it. Make it romantic or spontaneous. Remus and I planned junior here down to the minute. What, with taking basal temperatures and sex on demand. God it ended up being so damned clinical because of the difficulties we had conceiving. Having a baby should be a loving and joyous occasion; not planned and executed like a military campaign!" His cousin advised him.
They reached Sirius' destination and they bade each other goodbye with a friendly kiss and hug.
Sirius entered the apothecary shop and was greeted by the proprietor.
"How may I help you Professor Black."
Sirius was slightly taken back by this familiar greeting. Even now it took some getting used to. Three years ago he was public enemy number one and that ridiculous prison photo was posted in every public place to facilitate his recapture.
"I need some items for a potion. Some of them are quite unique. I have a list if you could take a look." He asked quickly recovering and handing over the Severus' list.
"Thank you sir." Arsenius Bratherton took the proffered list and examined the required ingredients. "Ah, these are for your husband." As he noted Severus' neat script.
"Yes."
"Well, unfortunately I don't hold one of these as regular stock and it will take me at least a week to obtain it but I can let you have the others."
"Which one will take a week?" He asked.
"That will be the incubus breath, sir. Quite a rare item, Professor Black."
"Okay, give me what you've got." He said dejectedly, knowing that it was now going to be at least two weeks before they were going to try for the baby.
The apothecary wrapped and bagged the goods, Sirius paid from them and left.
As he began his walk back towards the Leaky Cauldron, a sign caught his eye.
Walden Shrivelfig's Apothecary shop.
'Maybe they'll have incubus breath.' He thought hopefully.
As he entered, he noted the establishment wasn't as clean and up market as the Bratherton place but what did it matter so long as they had the missing ingredient?
He was greeted by a small, thin man, whose face had a red pinched look to it. His eyes were rheumy and squinted in the light.
"How may Walden Shrivelfig assist you, sir?" He asked in a slimy voice.
"Er, I'm not sure. I'm looking for incubus breath. Do you have any?"
"Ah, sir is most unlucky. I sold my last bottle not half an hour ago."
Yeah, of course you did.
"Oh well, sorry to have troubled you." And with that, Sirius turned to go.
Not wanting to lose a valuable customer; the old man was not about to let a potential purchase walk out of the door.
"Wanting to make Vir Conceptionius are you, sir?"
Sirius' head snapped around quickly, eyeing the old apothecary warily.
"And what if I am. You can't help me now can you, seeing as you have the only ingredient I require. So what is it to you?"
"I said I don't have any incubus breath, sir. I didn't say I didn't have any Vir Conceptionius, did I?"
"You sell the potion?" Sirius exclaimed.
"Yes sir. One of my best sellers it is sir, for ladies and gentlemen such as yourself sir."
Remembering what Severus had told him about brewing the complex potion.
"Do you brew it yourself?"
"No sir. My supplier is one of the finest potion masters in all of Britain, sir. I would tell you who it is, sir, as you are bound to be familiar with his name and all that but he values his privacy you see, sir."
"Really." Sirius said, trying desperately to hide is excitement. "Surely you can tell me or give me a hint. It will certainly affect whether or not I buy some or not."
"Well, let's just say that he's busy at the school at the minute teaching and his allegiances were questionable for a long time, everyone thinking he was in league with 'you-know-who'." It became clear that he was referring to Severus.
"How old is the potion? When was it brewed?" He asked one final clarifying point before making the decision.
"Why sir, Professor Sn…er I mean my supplier delivered it freshly brewed just before Christmas sir."
Gotcha!
"Very well. I shall take one bottle then Mr Shrivelfig."
"Sir will not regret it."
"I certain hope not."
He paid the exorbitant fee and left feeling elated at his success. As he walked back, he thought about how he would explain his reasoning behind buying the potion to Snape.
Severus would surely understand why he did it and as for the quality of the potion, Severus hadn't said anything about an expiry date. He had merely said he wanted him to have a freshly mixed batch.
Another thing he kept replaying in his mind was his cousin's advice on going about getting pregnant. He didn't want it to a clinical experience like Tonks had described. Like anyone in love, he imagined the most perfect way of creating a new life was a thing of fantasies.
He was a natural romantic. He could take the potion covertly and seduce Severus into making love to him, creating their child in just such a way, just like any other married couple.
Yes, that's what would do.
With a plan in mind; he hurried back to Hogwarts, in an effort to execute it like a military campaign!
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On arrival, he discovered that Severus was still in detention. This fitted in perfect with his plans.
Like he did on their wedding night, Sirius conjured a variety of rose petals in their bedroom. He spelled the scented candle to light and adjusted the lighting to give the room a romantic ambiance.
He read the potion's instructions sheet and found that it could be placed into any manner of normal drink to mask its taste. Like everything else, this fitted nicely with Sirius' plan. He could pour them both a drink of vintage Champagne and he could imbibe the Conceptionius whilst they were together. The potion would take effect immediately. He could then get Severus to take him to bed and impregnate him with their baby.
Perfect.
The perfect plan.
The scene was set, all that was needed now was the daddy.
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Severus was later than even he expected. He was suitably pissed at his detention group because they had stopped him from joining Sirius on their shopping trip and had caused them to argue. He couldn't help but take a little of that anger out on the little bastards!
He had made them scrub every single cauldron in that room with a muggle toothbrush until they shone.
That would teach them to mess up his plans. It wasn't like the old days when he had nothing better to do than be at the beck and call of Voldemort.
He had a life now!
When he entered the lounge area of their quarters, he immediately noticed two things.
One, Sirius was curiously absent.
And two, colourful rose petals were trailed from the sitting area, through the door that led to their bedroom.
He followed the trail onwards.
When he entered, he found Sirius on their bed, naked and holding up a raised flute of champagne in salute.
"What a nice surprise. What shall I say now? Hi honey, I'm home."
"How about 'get on your back Sirius and spread your legs for me?'"
"That works just as well Siri." Snape eagerly shrugged out of his teaching robes but in his haste got caught up and tripped over. Sirius quickly put down his champagne and rushed over to Severus to help him.
"Fuck in hell babe! Are you alright?" Black asked, helping his lover to his feet.
"The only thing hurt, is my pride darling. Do you know, only you turn me into this clumsy klutz." He laughed in good humour.
Snape walked over to the bedside table and picked up the glass of champagne intended for him and drained the contents. He coughed and sputtered slightly.
"God, Sirius, did you wash these glasses properly before you used them? This champagne tastes funny."
A horrid feeling crept over him.
Oh shit, please no.
He walked over to the dresser and noted that Severus' intended champagne glass was still very much full and that, he had in fact drunk his and with that, the Vir Conceptionius!
"Er Severus, now please don't shout but you have just drunk my champagne."
"It's okay babe, have mine then." He offered, picking his glass up and attempting to pass it to Sirius.
"Er, it's not quite that simple I'm afraid. Mine happened to have the Vir Conceptionius in it"
"That can't be Sirius. I haven't made it yet."
"I know, I bought some in town." He watched Severus' face changed bland affection to a look of sheer horror. He immediately began to explain the afternoon's events to rationalise his decision. "…But it's okay, everything will be fine. Just don't invoke the incantation and no harm done."
"But Sirius, you stupid prick. I don't happen to supply Shrivelfig with the potion. The only people I supply with the Conceptioni are Bratherton, when he orders it and a private Healer in Hogsmeade."
"But..but."
"But what Sirius!"
"Old Shrivelfig said that you supplied it to him."
"Did he now? Did he actually say outright that Severus Snape supplies Vir Conceptionius to him?"
"Yes…well no I suppose but he implied it. Hell he all but said you did."
"Tell me precisely what the old bastard said to you."
Sirius told him what the old apothecary had said to him, virtually word for word.
"Well, the slimy old git saw you coming didn't he? The oldest trick in the book, imply it heavily it but don't actually say it."
"I'm really sorry babe. I'll make it up to you."
"I don't think you quite understand the full consequences that this will have on our relationship do you?"
Sirius swallowed. Severus was angry, really angry but that was no reason to issue threats. What was he going to do? Leave him?
"Look baby, I now that you're angry but there's no need to threaten me. I made a genuine mistake, now surely you can forgive me and we can get past this."
"You still don't understand do you?"
Sirius was rather perturbed by Snape's tone.
"You don't remember what I told you do you? Now listen in because I feel that you'll remember it this time."
Sirius was now starting to get angry now at being spoken to like a recalcitrant child.
"Yes Severus, I do get it. I fucked up royally and now you get to fuck me in the arse until you decide that you've forgiven me for fucking up! Shit, milk the situation for all it's worth why don't you?" He shouted back at him.
"Listen up dickhead, I'll speak slowly so you understand what I'm saying.. I-didn't-make-this-potion." Snape said, enunciating every word. "Therefore, there is no incantation to invoke. I now have a uterus up my arse and if we have sex, I will become pregnant. End of story! Has it started to sink into that minute little brain of yours yet?" He said, insulting him.
"And as for fucking you up the arse. You better get used to it from now on darling because if you want a sex life for the remainder of our married life, it's the only way you or I'll be getting any!" With that, he stormed out of their bedroom and settled down for a night on the settee, with the knowledge he could be there for the foreseeable future.