Sam : Oh come on! This is uncalled for!
Airstrike : This is NOT uncalled for!
Firestorm : Sorry commander but its only fair...
Sam : Napalms already made me put one of my memories up! That not enough for ya!?
-All three of them together- : NO!
Sam : Alright I put more than one of you guys up. But this is personal! I refuse to let this be veiwed on the internet!
Syndrome : If you don't do it I will
Sam : You wouldn't dare
Syndrome : Wouldn't I? Roll the Disclaimer!
DISCLAIMER : I DO NOT OWN TRANSFORMERS, NOR DO I OWN THE SONG USED IN THIS DIARY ENTRY / MIND WANDER THINGY.
Song : Incomplete
Life On Earth
The Early Days of Leaving
Subject : 5AM A.K.A Sam.
-Commence Memory Transmission-
I paced backwards and forwards. Pacing seems to be one of my newest pass times now. I can't take this anymore. Tears streamed down my face. I had had to sacrifice so much... and for what?! To be enprisoned on this planet?! To be stuck with no sign of release! I couldn't even act like I used to! Everything... all of it... gone... I had to start again. Everything, I had to wipe it all. Without warning I turned to my laptop. Leo always seemed to calm me down, be it reading online or listening to songs. I typed in Youtube and brought up the song Incomplete. I hated this song in its normal version, but it's chipmunked style always brought me peace somehow... I always felt how the it related to me in my present situation... I sighed and smiled, closing my eyes as the song began.
Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can't find no rest
Where I'm going is anybody's guess
Memories flowed back to me. I was alone in the flat again, My brother out with his friends and my mother picking up my sister. They wern't my real family... my REAL family were still up there.
I loved being alone. It meant I could reflect on things. I could be who I used to be...
Oh Primus! How rude of me! heh.. my name is Subject:5AM. I never knew my real name but I recalled myself Sam after figuring out 5AM could spell SAM in a text form my friend called L33T. I am known for being harsh, roudy and often distant, well... on Earth anyway. But I hold secrets these humans could never understand. Everytime I'm alone I feel lost. I miss my team, my friends... my family. I miss how Airstrike used to squeal when someone touched his paintjob. I miss Cannonballs mood swings, heck I even missed the Convicts! I miss it all! I can't just sit here anymore whilst god knows what is happening up there! I tried guys! I really did! I just... Can't do it anymore...
I tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is
Incomplete
Those lyrics match my dilema to the letter! I did try to go on like I never knew you! I might be awake but it feels like I'm asleep, trapped in this hysterical nightmare of conflicting emotions, two personalities slotted into one... I used to pray for my heart to go unbroken. But then again, I don't have one. My spark burns inside of me, fooling all this primative technology into false readings for fleash and blood. Yes, there's flesh and yes I bleed blood, but it's all fake. My skin isn't real... and I don't have a single ounce of blood in my body. Of course I have a nervous system, I feel and act like a regular human... but thats on the outside. Nobody... not even my best friend, knows what lies on the inside. I wasn't born I was created. I wasn't raised I was programmed. I wasn't cared for... I was rescued. Yes Rescued. Lemmie explain in terms you'll understand.
I was created by the Decepticons to be a war machine. To get right under the Auto-Bots noses. The Auto-Bots wouldn't harm humans, so they created me. Half human, I would be able to get in amoungst them without causing too much attention. I would be able to get information they couldn't get. But I was rescued by the Auto-Bots. Before they finished my core programming making me under their control, I used my new gifts and fled. I, quite literally, bumped into the Auto-Bots. They protected me and we became friends... Well some of them did. A few didn't. But they wern't my problem.
After that things are sort of blurry. I'll have to have Syndrome check my memory chips later when I get back. It isn't if anymore... its when...
I remember the Auto-Bots leaving without me on a mission. I remember the look on Landmine's face as he screamed for me from the ship's windows. I remember seeing another member who I thought was my friend drag him back. All radio communications died. They left me alone on a primitive planet. That's when I found him. He was hurt, dieing. His spark was alive and well, but his body was battered. I scrambled all the parts I could from fallen drones, dead Decepticons and Auto-Bots and natural resources. I saved his life. That's how everything began. Gosh it seems so strange how it began. It was just me and him to begin with. Sam and Cannonball, two bots' that had been deserted by our teams.
We travelled space and found shelter in an old Decepticon ship with enough defence sheilds and radar jammers to fool even the smartest Transformer. Thats how the Freelancers began. We took it in turns to go on supply and surviver runs, eventually meeting new allies and gaining new enimies. That's how it happened. That's how I got my family. I remember one time when we were... Woah! I'm rambling again! Heck and they're home I better go! I shouldn't of told you all that... just forget I said anything...
Sam : HAPPY NOW! -runs out of the room-
Airstrike : ... Was she crying?
Firestorm : I think we pissed her off...
Syndrome : Eh, shrimpy'll get over it eventually
-From the hallway- : I HEARD THAT! AND BY THE WAY I'M TELLING CANNONBALL!
-All three of them gulp-
Cannonball : THEY WHAT?! WHERE ARE THOSE LITTLE MUVAFU-
-Transmission End-
- Airstrike.The.Careful.Risk.Taker -