"Daniel! What the hell is taking so long?"
If Daniel would have been looking at Jack, he would have seen the murderous glare being bored into his head. But being Daniel, he was not in the least bit scared of a tirade from Jack and thus did not even bother to lift his head from looking at the alien device.
"Jack, have you looked at this thing?"
"Yes, Daniel. I have. And you've been looking at it for a whole day!"
"Oh, it has not been a day! And do you see this writing? It's nearly microscopic and it covers the entire sphere. It's going to take time to translate it all."
Daniel wasn't exaggerating. The sphere was about the size of a soccer ball and circling round and round were tiny words of Latin origin.
"How long, Daniel?"
"I don't know, maybe a day or two more."
"Two days? Can't you go any faster?"
"No. Jack, I've been working on this for eight hours straight. What more do you want?"
Jack sighed. "I'm sorry, Daniel. I'm just ready to get this over with."
Jack leaned over Daniel to get a closer look at the 'Death Star'.
Daniel sniffed the air, scrunching up his nose.
"Umm, Jack, what's that smell?"
"Ugh. Not you too."
Jack rounded the table and sat in the chair opposite Daniel, folding his...Sam's arms over her chest.
Daniel's expression asked, 'Me too?'
"Carter and I haven't exactly been showering since this thing happened."
"Ew. That's really...gross, Jack."
"Yeah, well, going the bathroom in each other's bodies has already been traumatic enough. We were kind of hoping we wouldn't have to deal with more than that."
"You mean you haven't looked?"
Jack had kind of figured that Daniel had a raunchy side about him, but him being so blatant about it was a little shocking.
"No, of course I haven't looked."
"Wow, I just kind of figured, you know, that you would."
"I'm pretty sure Carter wouldn't appreciate it."
Not that he hadn't thought about it...alot. The temptation was great and they were right there.
"Well, it's not like she would know."
If only Carter could hear your traitorous ways, Danny-boy. And everyone thinks you're just so innocent. But he did have a point. She wouldn't know if he just happened to take a peak. No, this was Carter. She'd know. He'd walk into the room and minds-well be wearing a billboard that read "Pervert" with how clearly she would know. If it wasn't for the fact that he could read her pretty much as well as she could him, that might really bother him.
"You are so playing the Devil's advocate, Daniel."
Daniel grinned.
"So you do want to look."
"Well, duh. I am a guy, Daniel."
Very ready to change the subject, Jack pointed to the device.
"What have you got so far?"
"Well, it's a derivative of Latin. So far, all it's been is a listing of the laws that the people there followed. Pretty typical stuff really. Don't murder. Don't steal. There was one that I thought was a little peculiar to have as a law. Do not judge. These people seemed to hold this law in particular regard and..."
"Ah ah. Okay, yeah, just let me know when you get something good, k?"
"Sure, Jack."
Jack stood to leave the lab only to be stopped by Daniel.
"Hey Jack, you should really look into the whole shower thing...for the rest of us at least."
"Sam's" shoulder's sagged a little. "Yeah, I know. I'll go talk to Carter about it."
"Thank you. I assure you the rest of us appreciate it."
"Ha ha. Keep it up and I'll tell Carter you told me to look at her boobs."
Daniel shut up after that. He may not be afraid of Jack, but Sam could scare the living shit out of him.
Jack walked down the hall towards Carter's lab. He didn't like walking the halls in his current state. Everyone stared at him like he had three heads and a tail. Some laughed after he had passed and no amount of glaring seemed to help. Some of the airmen could never remember how to address him and would stutter "Major...Colonel or Mam, sir" as they walked by.
Seems today he was about to be passed by some laughers. Two newbies, Lt. Rogers and a Captain Harris if he remembered right.
He glared as they snickered and walked past.
"I had heard they wanted in each others pants but I think they're taking it to the extreme a little bit, don't you?"
Oh no, they just didn't. Jack O'Neill was pissed off.
He whipped around.
"Excuse me? What did you just say, airmen?"
They both stopped dead in their tracks and turned slowly.
"Uhh, mam...I mean, sir?"
"Did I stutter, Lt? What. Did. You. Just. Say?"
When he didn't receive any reply, Jack grabbed him by the collar and shoved him forcefully in the wall.
"Samantha Carter is a Major in the United States Air Force and as such, deserves your respect as a superior officer. If I so much as hear you say one more derogatory comment about anyone in this base again, I will personally remove you from the premises, is that understood?
"Yes, sir!"
Clenching his teeth, fists balled up, Jack spat, "Good. Now get out of my sight."
After they both disappeared down the hall, Jack turned around to come face to face with Sam.
"Carter."
He really hoped she didn't see that but he kind of doubted that was the case.
"Sir."
"Going to your lab?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good. Let's go."
They'd been sitting in the lab for a few minutes. Jack was still trying to calm down. Stupid, good for nothing, disrespectful...
"You didn't have to do that, sir."
"Carter, they disrespected you. They deserved a lot worse."
"They disrespected you too sir."
Jack shrugged. He didn't care about that. People could say what they wanted about him.
"And with all due respect, sir, it's nothing I haven't heard before. It's just something you come to expect as...it's something you learn comes with the territory."
He knew what she didn't say. It's something she's come to expect as a woman in the Air Force. Sad, but true. She was a woman in a mainly man dominated job. Thankfully, at the SGC, they had a good group of people. They knew they could depend on each other, man or woman. But there would always be some who felt that women just didn't belong. Anyone who knew half of what Carter had done for this planet would have to know that that was a bunch of bull.
"I don't care if you expect it or not, Carter. I hear somebody say crap about any of my team, and I will have that person's ass."
Sam nodded and went back to what she was working on.
"So...Daniel thinks it will be another two days before he finishes with the alien doohickey."
"Two days?"
"Yep."
"Oh."
Sam stared at the top of Jack's..well, her head.
"What?"
"You definitely can't go another two days without a shower. My hair looks horrible."
"Yeah, well, we don't smell too good either."
Sam winced. "No, we don't."
"So..."
"So..."
"I guess that means..."
"Yeah."
"Right."
"I suppose we should go ahead and get it over with then, sir."
"Just some quickies."
Jack refused to acknowledge the double meaning of that in his mind.
"Yes, sir."
"Okay, then. Off we go."