Chapter 8

Note: fuck the questions. Just enjoy.

"So that's Zim's castle?" Mandy said looking at the massive building from behind a nearby bush.

It was made out of pure gold with banners depicting the end of the human race and Irkens enslaving mankind hanging over humongous windows.

"Eh." Gaz said unimpressed.

"You said that he has Billy rounding up more4 troops for his army right?" Mandy inquired.

"Yup." Dib replied.

"Then one of us has to stall him while the rest try to infiltrate the base." Mandy suggested.

"Hurry up and spill the beans already! Dracula's leg is getting itchy." Dracula hastened.

"Okay here's the plan." Mandy began.

"HEAR ME HEAR ME!" Billy yelled into a mega phone in front of Endsville elementary.

"Come one; come all to the super awesome fun time hullabaloo at Zim's army!" Billy said.

"You get free cake and you get to party all the time and get to blast stuff too." He tried to persuade.

"What's this stupid club about meat!" Sperg said approaching the poorly constructed desk.

"Good day Sperg, if you join my club you get to smash anything you what and won't get in trouble!' Billy convinced.

"Hmmmm. Okay I'll bite. BUT NO SQUEALING, or else!" Sperg threatened.

"Okay just sign here." Billy said.

Sperg signed the paper and in an instant gnomes rose from the ground and took him down under as fast as they came.

"This is fun!" Giggled Billy. "Ooh there's another one!" he said as Mindy approached the desk.

"Welcome Mindy, would you like to help me afford a brain?" Billy inquired.

"Yeah like that'll ever happen, loser." She replied.

"Hey everybody! Why join Zim's stupid army when you can join Mandy's." A voice said.

"Hey! Who dat?" Billy questioned looking at a nearby desk.

"Join Mandy's club now and get lots and lots of free food." Gir said reading from a sheet of paper.

"No way, only losers eat food!" Mindy snickered. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get a stomach transplant." She said as she walked off.

"Yoooooou, are going down!" Billy said pointing to Gir.

A man approached the desk.

"Hey mister, join my club!" Billy demanded.

"Hmmm, can you explain to me the benefits of membership?" the man inquired.

"Come to my party, and you get to meet chickenfoot!" Gir said.

"Ooooh I always wanted to meet chicken foot." The man said approaching the little robots desk.

Before he could sign the ground began to shake. Suddenly a gigantic drill rose from the ground. A door on the drill opened up, with Nergal and his son inside.

"Why do I have to go to school on Sunday dad?" Junior questioned.

"Because Junior, if people thought of you become a holy man, people may forget you're the spawn of a demon." Nergal replied as they exited the drill ship.

"Hey Junior, join my army and I'll make sure you get all the friends you want!" Billy persuaded.

"Isn't that cute! Billy has his own little club." Nergal said impressed. "You should join Junior.

"Okay." Junior said as he signed the paper. Gnomes once again popped up from the ground and sucked him into the abyss.

"Oh, it does my heart good to see my son making friends." Nergal said as he once again fell into the center of the earth in his machine.

"Beat that!" Billy snapped at Gir. "Free friends right here!" Billy screamed.

"Did someone say friends?" A boy said as he appeared right behind Billy.

"Uhhhh…yeah." Billy said a bit shocked.

My name is Keef, will you be my friend?" the boy said with a frightening smile.

"Sure if you sign here." Billy said holding up the document.

"If you join my club now you'll get a whole cagillian of friends." Gir tried to sway.

"A cagillion! That's like…a whole bunch right there." Keef idiotically stated. "Where do I sign?"

"Right here!" Gir said pointing to his proof of membership paper. "And don't forget to mark it with a piggy." Gir said as Keef finished signing.

"Now what do I do?" Keef inquired.

"INITIATION!" Gir said as a cannon appeared out of his head.

Before Keef could comment, Gir tossed him inside and sent him flying.

"Bye bye!" Gir said waving his hands.

"Grrrrrrr…" Billy growled as the battle continued.

Are you sure Gir knows what he's doing?" Dib questioned. "He is a bit…out there."

"Eh, he'll be fine." Mandy said.

"And what about Dracula, do you think he'll be okay by himself."

"He'll be fine!" Mandy said getting irritated. "I gave him a simple job."

Keef landed in front of Mandy's house with a bang. He rubbed his head and tried to figure out where he was.

"Hey you, dummy!" Dracula said impatiently. "Get up, Dracula ain't got all day!"

"Are you gonna be my friend?" Keef inquired cheerfully.

"Hell no! Dracula gonna make you into a man." Dracula said flexing his old flabby arm.

"What?" Keef questioned in confusion.

"I'm gonna train you so you don't get you're ass kicked on the battle field!" Dracula said. "Now hurry up! Dracula's favorite show 'bout to come on." He said as he dragged Keef to the assumed training grounds.

"And how do you think we're going to get pass the gnomes" Dib questioned as Mandy was constructing some sort of device.

"Shut up already! You're so annoying." Gaz said.

"Okay this should get us inside." Mandy unveiled her creation… a poor wooden gnome costume.

"This is going to get us pass the gnome!?" Dib said with both rage and confusion.

"Shut up and put this on!" Mandy ordered.

"There's no way I'm putting tha…" Dib said as they shoved him inside the wooden suit.

"Uhhhh…hey guys look at me." Dib said as he approached the gnome guards. "I'm a destructive machine like you guys." He tried to persuade.

The gnomes immediately attacked him.

"AHHHH! Help! My spleen! My brain! My spine! My arm control nerves!" Dib cried as the gnomes pounced on him.

Mandy and Gaz were able to sneak passed all the commotion and arrived at the entrance.

But when they opened the door they were greeted by two robots that represented humans and Hoss Delgado.

"Going somewhere kiddies?" Hoss inquired with sarcasm.

"You're not going aaaa-anywhere until you fffff-finsih you're h-homwork!" The poorly constructed female robot said.

"Ti-ti-time for a spanking!" the male malfunctioning robot said as he grabbed the two children.

"What a shame, you should really listen to you're parents." Hoss said as the robots tossed them back to their starting point behind the bush.

Dib crawled back with all the strength his body could give.

"I…hate…you." Dib managed to choke out before fainting.

"This is you're fault!" Gaz said to here dying brother.

Dib could only groan in pain.