So this is the end. Thank you to everybody who reviewed!
Seth sat on the couch beside Summer while Kaitlyn and him shot insults back and forth. It was actually a good time. He opened his mouth to fire one back at her when the doorbell rang. "Ooooh Cooper, saved by the bell," he said getting up to answer the door.
"Yeah whatever," Kaitlyn said rolling her eyes.
Seth opened the door and stared at Taylor who was standing there looking like she was ready to bolt, crutches and all. "Taylor…what are you doing here?"
"I…Ryan," was all she said looking down at her feet. She still wasn't sure if coming was a good idea but until Ryan said what he had to say, he'd never leave her alone so she could start getting over him.
"Is in the pool house," Seth said stepping back so she could enter the foyer. He lead the way back to the living room and Taylor paused as Summer and Kaitlyn both sat up staring at her in surprise.
"Taylor!" Summer said shocked.
"Yeah I'm here to see Ryan," Taylor said sounding more like she was gathering her courage then letting them know why she was there.
"He's in the pool house," Kaitlyn said smiling at her. When Taylor just stared at her she nodded her head towards the patio doors. There was no way she was leaving without talking to Ryan, Kaitlyn would see to that.
Taylor nodded and crutched her way to the patio doors where Seth was holding it open. He shut it quietly behind her and walked slowly back to the couch where he plopped down beside Summer.
"I am amazing," Summer said smiling at her boyfriend.
"How?" Seth asked but the quickly added, "you are amazing but in this case…how?"
"My dinner worked," Summer said getting up so she could go into the kitchen and spy from the window. "I knew my plan would kick your plan's ass."
"We don't know that it was your dinner that brought her here," Seth said following her.
"We know it wasn't your lame comic book," Summer pointed out.
"It was not lame," Seth argued. "If I could have had more time and if I was able to present it better-"
"Seth, it was lame," Kaitlyn said rolling her eyes. She was still smiling but she was the only one who knew that it was her pep talk that had gotten Ryan to act like himself which had gotten Taylor over here.
"That's it," Seth said stalking out of the room. "I am getting the comic book and showing you how I would have presented it." Summer just mumbled something but she was craning her neck trying to see into the pool house.
"What's going on?" Kaitlyn asked stepping up beside her.
"Taylor's just standing outside the door," Summer said quietly like she thought Taylor could actually hear her.
"She better go in there," Kaitlyn warned.
"Oh she's knocking," Summer whispered quickly.
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Ryan laid on his bed with his eyes closed listening to the CD Taylor had made him of all her favorite songs. He'd put number one on repeat so Girl's Just Wanna Have Fun was playing over and over. He hated the song but playing it made it seem like Taylor was in the room. He could already see her singing and dancing like an idiot. God he missed her.
He groaned when somebody knocked on the door. "Go away Seth!" he yelled covering his face with his hands. He'd already knocked twice asking if Ryan was okay and if he'd come join him so he wouldn't be outnumbered by the girls.
"It's not Seth," Taylor said softly from the doorway.
When she'd first walked up to the door she could hear the music blaring all the way outside. She'd smiled as she heard the chorus to her favorite song. She'd put it on the CD she'd made him as a joke knowing he'd never listen to it unless she was there. But then the song had ended and started up again. He was listening to a chick song over and over. That wasn't like Ryan. So she knocked.
Hearing him yell at Seth to go away had almost made her turn away. He didn't sound like he was in a good mood. But then she stiffened her spine and opened the door. Her heart had melted at the sight of him laying on his bed with his hands covering his face.
Ryan opened his eyes and lowered his hands at the same time. He sat up and stared at her standing in his doorway. She looked exactly the same as when she was standing in the Robert's dining room but he thought she looked even more beautiful.
"Taylor," he said softly.
"I got your message," Taylor said hobbling farther into the pool house so she could shut the door behind her.
"Here," Ryan said standing up. He gestured towards the chair or the bed, "sit down."
"Thanks," Taylor said softly as she made her way to the bed, which was closer. She sat down and took the weight off her foot.
"How are you feeling?" Ryan asked when he saw her wince as she set her crutches off to the side of the bed.
"Tired," Taylor admitted. "Sore…a burden."
"What," Ryan said surprised.
Taylor looked down at her hands before looking up at Ryan. "I've never been seriously hurt before Ryan," she said softly. "I'm slow and clumsy and my Mom's been driving me everywhere. I just hate not being in control."
Ryan nodded his head because he would feel exactly the same way. It was just another thing they both had in common. They both liked being in control of their lives, had to be in control of their lives. It was one of the many things that he admired about her.
"In your message you said you needed to tell me some things," Taylor said after the silence got to be too much for her.
Ryan stared at her for another moment before saying, "I'm sorry Taylor." He walked over to the chair and sat down. "I'm sorry for being a jerk on your birthday. I'm sorry for making you think that I'm in love with Marissa…because I'm not."
"Ryan," Taylor said shifting uncomfortably.
"No you need to hear this," Ryan insisted. "A part of me will always love her. She was…a complete mess. She didn't love me," Ryan added smiling when Taylor hurried to defend Marissa.
"She did too," Taylor insisted. She may not have liked the girl very much but she knew that she had loved Ryan in her own way.
"Okay, maybe she did," Ryan conceded. "But nobody could ever love her the way she wanted to be loved because….well she didn't love herself."
Taylor looked down at her hands, she'd always thought that herself, that Marissa needed to love herself before she could fully let somebody else in. She'd never told anybody though. Marissa had been one of the Newport Goddesses and Taylor had been one of the Newport Losers.
"I was angry with Marissa," Ryan admitted surprising her once again. "I've been angry with her since the moment she died."
"But…why?" Taylor asked confused.
"She died before I could tell her that I was done," Ryan said softly, admitting the one thing he'd never told anybody. "I was going to put her on an airplane and move on with my life. But then she died and I was left…dangling. With one foot in the real world and one in limbo."
"But Volchok," Taylor said still confused.
"Whatever Marissa did or didn't do she didn't deserve to die that way," Ryan pointed out. "I knew if I was ever going to move on I had to deal with him. Plus there was guilt, a lot of guilt."
"It wasn't your fault," Taylor said again. She'd said it before and she'd going on saying it until he fully believed it. He was lucky he hadn't lost his own life that night.
"I know," Ryan agreed. "But I still lived and she died. I was messed up for a long time. Well…until a certain girl strolled into my life and shook things up with one kiss." Taylor could feel her face flush as he smirked at her. She looked down at her hands which were fidgeting in her lap. "That kiss changed my life Taylor."
"It changed mine too," Taylor said softly smiling at the memory. "I thought I knew what attraction was but…I knew nothing."
"I started falling for you that night," Ryan said shocking her. "I didn't know it at the time but you changed my whole world that night. I never thought I would feel about someone the way I felt about you."
"I…" Taylor said but she couldn't form any words.
"I couldn't even think about anybody else…you dominated my every thought. I was having the strangest fantasies," Ryan said shaking his head as he smiled at her. "Seth cracked jokes at my expense for weeks."
"But my birthday," Taylor said confused.
"I was an ass," Ryan admitted. "But I had just taken that final step, telling you how I feel and then you were already ten steps ahead of me with the whole college thing and I just…I got scared."
"I'm scared too Ryan," Taylor said softly. "The only person to tell me they love me and mean it was Henri-Michel and that didn't exactly end well. His idea of love is more of an obsession."
"That's not true, more people love you Taylor," Ryan said shaking his head. He waited until she was looking into his eyes before continuing. "I love you. I loved you on your birthday and I love you now."
"Ryan," Taylor said shaking her head. She wanted to believe him but there was still that voice in her head telling her she would be stupid to let him back in. The next him he broke her heart she might not be able to recover.
"Wait," Ryan said jumping up. He walked over to his dresser and opened the top drawer where he pulled out Taylor's real birthday present. Julie had given it to him days ago but he had waited to give it to Taylor until he thought she'd be more receptive to the gift. "This is your real birthday present."
Taylor took the wrapped gift from his hands and stared at it like it might come to life and bite her. It looked identical to the last present she'd opened from him and that had turned out to be a dictionary. She was a little afraid to see what else he would deem an appropriate gift.
"Just open it," Ryan said when she just stared at it. He watched her rip into it and held his breath as she let the paper go and held the book in her hands. She opened the first page and started reading with her lips barely moving as they formed the words silently.
"Ryan," Taylor said shocked. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "These are the poems I've translated."
"I gathered them up and had them bound for you," Ryan said reaching up with one hand so he could wipe away the tears that were starting to fall. "This is your real birthday present."
"This is…amazing," Taylor said stroking the cover gently.
"I was going to give this to you the night of the earthquake," Ryan explained sitting down beside her on the bed. "Kaitlyn more or less told me I was a complete ass for not telling you I love you. So I hurried to the Robert's house only to find you packing a bag. I never want to see you packing a bag unless you are planning on going somewhere with me."
Taylor was still staring at the book Ryan had had made for her. She couldn't believe that same guy who had given her a dictionary had had something as beautiful as a book of poetry made for her. "Ryan…I"
"Taylor," Ryan said interrupting her. "Just tell me you still love me. That I haven't destroyed the best thing that has ever happened to me."
Taylor looked into his eyes trying to see if what he was saying was true. She had to swallow a lump in her throat when the love he spoke of was shining in his eyes. "Of course I still love you," she said quickly because he wrapped his arm around her pulling her into another breath stealing kiss.
Taylor could feel Ryan maneuvering her around but she didn't want to pull away. It had been over a week since she'd been wrapped in Ryan's arms and it felt better than before. She could feel him stroking her back through her shirt and she smiled when the CD started playing the same song again. "I didn't know you were such a good fan of Cindy Lauper," she mumbled against his lips.
"Oh I am," Ryan whispered back. "A big big fan."
"I missed this," Taylor whispered later after their impromptu make-out session had ended after Taylor had bumped her broken ankle and cried out in pain, not pleasure.
"Me too," Ryan said softly stroking her hair. They were both lying on his bed with Taylor's head on his shoulder and their legs intertwined, with Ryan being careful with Taylor's injured ankle.
"So who's idea was this?" Taylor asked curiously. She'd seen Kaitlyn in the living room with Seth and Summer and couldn't help but wonder if this whole night had been orchestrated by Kaitlyn.
"Mine," Ryan said looking down at her. When she arched and eyebrow he rolled his eyes. "So okay, Kaitlyn just told me that whatever I did had to come from me. So this was my great idea. Just get you to sit down and listen to me."
"She's a genius," Taylor said thoughtfully. "I wonder if Julie realizes what she's raising."
"Even if she did it wouldn't make a difference," Ryan said smiling. "Kaitlyn is who she is. Nobody's gonna change her." He grew silent as another thought kept turning in his mind, it was something Taylor had said to him that still bothered him. "Taylor…when you said you never wanted to be second to somebody."
"It's okay Ryan," Taylor said smiling at him.
"No it's not," Ryan said turning so his body was facing hers. "I'm in love with you…I love you more than I've ever loved anybody. You are first for me. Always."
Taylor stared at him and she couldn't even try to prevent the tears that started falling. It had been enough to just hear him say that he loved her and know he meant it. But to hear him say the one thing that bothered her the most, always coming second was not true for him, it was too much.
"I need you to know that," Ryan said chastely kissing her lips and then her cheeks.
"Ryan," Taylor said softly resting her forehead against his. "God I love you."
Ryan smiled when she pulled away and laid her head back down on his shoulder. He stroked her hair until he heard her breathing slow and she fell asleep. He'd been praying for this moment since he'd carried her away from the car accident that could have claimed her life. To just be with her and know that everything was alright. He still didn't know what the future had in store for the both of them but as long as they had each other, they'd be okay.
The End!