Mid-years are NEXT WEEK and I'm using the pretext of doing my English HW here to turn on the computer and bring to you the latest update on our little guide here. I've also deleted another of my stories because I kind of thought the plot was illogical… but that's beside the point.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I only own piranha food/shark bait and her twin sister.

A Dummy's Guide to Mary Sues

There is more than one type of Mary Sue, including Gary Stu (male Mary Sue), Parody Sue, Angsty Sue, Canon Sue, Self-Insert Sue and Villain Sue. In this chapter we will introduce the Villain Sue, who befriends, replaces or is romantically involved with the villain of the story (in this case, Anzu… as all our dear readers most likely will have noticed). However, Villain Sues, other than having all the traits of a Mary Sue, also usually are able to spare canon characters when she could gloat or kill them, usually out of her hidden "good qualities", and usually her tragic past justifies all the evil she does.

"So, who are you?" demanded Anzu, as she faced the regal figure seated on a throne made out of platinum and gold, and of course inlaid with precious jewels. Of course, due to the fact that the marble platform was elevated some 100 metres high, Anzu had to raise her head high to see just the barest hint of her features.

"Me? I am the sister of – on moment please, my sister's name is too long even for me to remember." With that, the shadowy figure was seen rustling behind her seat and retrieving a long sheet of paper which dropped down from the end of the platform.

"Ah yes. I am the sister of Marianne Cinderella Jadis Tinkerbell Glamour Cherry Blossom Fortuna, Anna Suzanna Odjit Mehnet Ophelia Carmenita Esmerelda Malificia Carolyn Odelia Anastasia Jasmine Fortuna. I too was born like my sister, except that she is illegitimate. In other words, the fact that she was descended from an affair between my father and an elf. My poor mother, however, was a vampire/deity/fallen angel/princess/unicorn/mermaid/Veela(1)/shinigami, and was supposedly more attractive than that stupid elf. However, that elf cast a love spell on my father and she gave birth to my despicable incompetent idiotic arrogant proud foolish hot-tempered driveling sniveling jabbering jabbering idiot of my sister. (2) And of course, he left my mother and I to fend for ourselves in a forest full of zombies, vampires and whatnot (3). My mother died – I survived, and killed off both my father and his stupid slut of a mistress." The figure vaulted down from her perch and managed to land gently on her feet without dying from such a height, and from the shadows made her way towards Anzu. And for this moment, her features were thrown into the light.

"I then proceeded to massacre the mistress' entire family and my father's entire clan by nine generations. I have even exorcised the ghosts and sent them to hell where they would suffer eternal pain. I feel that it is just and righteous, for my poor dead mother's sake. My sister is a fool to believe that she is the legitimate heir. I should be the legitimate heir, but my father was too taken with the bitch and gave her and my illegitimate sister what was rightfully mine." Anna Suzanna Odjit Mehnet Ophelia Carmenita Esmerelda Malificia Carolyn Odelia Anastasia Jasmine paused, and turned to face Anzu, who took the opportunity to observe her features.

She too was like her sister, divinely gorgeously beautiful, except there was scary demented organ playing in the background when she entered. This one had wild messy long locks of silky auburn hair, and her emerald eyes had probably the most piercing gaze that one would see into the very soul of anybody who came across her. Her complexion was pale, like porcelain, and her figure was very buxom, almost like her sister's. She wore a regal cloak of red, and the rest of her clothes were black leather.

"So, you said we'd get back at her, Anna Suzanna Odjit Mehnet Odelia Anastasia Malificia -"Anzu was cut off by Anna Suzanna Odjit Mehnet Ophelia Carmenita Esmerelda Malificia Carolyn Odelia Anastasia Jasmine with a gesture.

"I do not like people who mix up my name.It is Anna Suzanna Odjit Mehnet Ophelia Carmenita Esmerelda Malificia Carolyn Odelia Anastasia Jasmine. However, as you are my faithful minion, I will allow you to call me Mehnet(4)."

"Yes…. Mehnet." In truth, Anzu liked Mehnet better than her awful sister who took her beloved Yami-kins away from her, but she was still a bit too annoying for her liking.

"And no, I am not annoying, Anzu. I am merely aggravatingly infuriating, that's it. And yes, I can read minds and control water and lightning too, if you want to know. Fire and water can be fused together to create a new element previously undiscovered by man, but since it is mine I am too clever to share it with the rest of the world," mused Mehnet, walking around the room in apparent satisfaction.

"I have one question, Mehnet." Mehnet turned and glared at Anzu. If looks could kill, Anzu would have died some 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 times. However, she allowed Anzu to proceed with a wave of her hand, out of graciousness.

"How come you look nothing like your sister, even though she supposed to be your twin?" Mehnet looked at Anzu, and then came forward and stroked her cheek.

"My poor, foolish, imprudent, thoughtless, silly, stupid, idiotic, dim-witted, brainless, thick minion. Due to some unexplained plot twist which the author has completely forgotten to explain, I have somehow ended up to be this accursed girl's twin sister, even though we don't even share the same mother." Anzu accepted the explanation, and didn't even seem to notice that she had been insulted very badly. The two dropped down George (5) and into something which looked like a very high-tech surveillance room with some 1000 plasma-LCD screens(6). She touched one of them, and a very large picture of Mehnet's sister was brought up, shown kissing Yami passionately (cough cough hack hack CHOKE). Anzu's blood boiled.

"We'll have to wait for another time, won't we? We'll let my sister enjoy a few more weeks of pure bliss, then we'll have you reunite with your darling Yami-kins. Of course, we'll have a few friends to help…"

At this point, a very large plot hole opened and out fell Bakura and Marik (the Yami), who piled up in a dog pile on top of each other in an undignified, crumpled heap, unconscious.

"Of course, Bakura-baby and Marik will help us out…" purred Mehnet, batting her eyelashes at them (even though they were unconscious). Then, she let loose such an evil laugh that Darth Vader some trillion dimensions away screamed like a baby and cried for his mother and hid behind his throne in his palace, as well as the rest of his minions, who took cover in wherever they thought could shield them from the evil laugh. (7)

Glossary and Terms:

1: Veela is a reference to Harry Potter.

2: Half of it was taken from "Saint Joan" by Bernard Shaw. It's a good read, I grant you.

3: Think Silent Hill here. Anybody played the game? I did, and I went around checking my room for a week or so.

4: Mehnet was a character from my deleted story Oncoming Storm. Her name means beautiful serpent, if I remember correctly.

5: Check back the last chapter and look for a plot hole labeled George. I had to give him a cameo in this chapter, but I'm not sure whether he'll make another appearance since I have other plot holes coming up in my plot hole production factory.

6: Mix between plasma screens and LCD screens.

7: Sorry to all Star War fans here. Please don't light saber me. Please?

-cough- Never, ever, ever say you want to gang up with the characters in this story. Please. I don't want anyone to die here. And yes, the twin sister thing is very badly done. Without logic, I must say. I am ashamed of myself.

I am aware this chapter is probably not as funny and a bit more ridiculous than other chapters of the story… but I started laughing like a psycho when I wrote this. Which just goes on to prove I am a certified psycho.

Mid-years are NEXT WEEK and so I won't be updating till 14th December, so hopefully you'll forgive me and enjoy this last chapter before my exams…

Reviews are as always, greatly appreciated and I hope you enjoyed the story once again.