Chapter Fourty-Three
Liz walked from the apartment in a hurry, trying to burn of the energy that she needed to leave her body. As she walked however, she could not help but think about her situation, about how her life seemed to be one filled with unexpected day after another. The cause of events seems fated almost, like the universe was trying to warn her of the path that she took where Max was concerned. Her mind flashed to the day at the Crashdown, when Max had risked exposure itself to save her life. The day that her life changed for ever, that moment seemed a lifetime ago and now fast forwarding in the future, Alex was dead. Tess didn't kill Alex, or maybe she did and is trying to cover it up now but Max believed her but to Liz, that shouldn't count at all because like Maria said in less that polite way, Max was in love with Tess. That thought always hurt to think about, but those were the facts which she could not change. It didn't matter, because she didn't love Max anymore. No, the love she felt for Max was changing that was definite but to claim that she didn't love Max would be a lie. What was wrong with her? Michael believed Tess, that was obvious and he seemed to think that Tess wasn't manipulating them and Isabel was adamant about Tess's honest as well. Was she the only one in the world who was so determined to hate Tess that no matter what anybody say that she was always going to hold Alex's death on Tess's shoulders? Was Tess always going to be responsible factor in Alex's death? Well, even if she did believe that Tess didn't kill Alex, it was harder for Liz to believe that Alex had offered to help Tess with decoding the Destiny Book. Alex would have told her, she had known him her entire life and this was a big secret for him to hide. Then again, being involved with Max was a sure distraction and it always came back to Max didn't it. Everything that could be wrong in her life was.
"Liz, wait up"
It was Eric, Liz realized but didn't bother to stop or slow down. She really didn't want to deal with him at that moment, she wanted to be alone damn it. But for a moment there, she had hoped that Max was coming after her. She had hoped, was that what her life would constist of from that moment on. She and Max were over, she had to stop this. She had been avoiding him for a week now, a week and that had worked out well. Maybe that was what she needed for Max to not always be everyway. As she thought, and worked, the energy that tried to burn was transforming even more strongly that she had thought possible. Turning her emotions into blue sparks that had allowed her before to throw Tess across the room. Still Eric ran after her, when it become apparant that Liz was in no way shape of form slowing down. But Liz, she was confused, she was jealous, and angry.
"Liz come on" Eric caught up to her, and began to walk along side her, "Stop"
"Leave me alone Eric" Liz cluntched her teeth walking faster than before crossing her arms. Neither had yet to realize the growing change in the air, and the obvious danger that Eric could be in, "I don't want to talk, I just want to be alone so go back to your precious Tess"
Eric ignored the Tess remark, "You shouldn't be alone at this time"
Eric's biggest mistake was trying to stop Liz with his arm, because immediately Eric he went flying through the air and landed five feet from her. Liz was shocked by the power she had administrated, she stared at her hands with a worried expression trying not to let tears in her eyes. She was freak, with everything that was going on, she was a freak of nature. Raising her head, she looked around to find the street empty, thankfully before looking at Eric who looked just as freaked out as she was. Turning away form Eric, she shook her head at her pedicament. It wasn't fair, it wasn't she had almost forgotten that she had these powers. That what Max did really had literary changed her being.
"What the fuck was that?" Eric asked, his body still hurting like hell. Here he was trying to be the good guy and he is magically thrown on the ground.
"Oh I have powers" Liz said conversationally, not bothering to turn around but having the clear indication that Eric was not near her, probably not willing to risk his health, "did I not mention that?"
"No" Eric said shaking his head inconfusion, "You are not...I thought they were only four and you can't be..."
"What? No!!" Liz denied his question quickly, "Max healed me and someone I absorbed some of his powers"
"Really?" Eric question and walked toward her, thinking for a moment of the possibility and finally smiled, "Cool"
Liz twirled around to face him, wearing an incredulous face expression and shook her head, "only you could think that"
Liz sighed before dropping down on the ground, just like she had down before when Tess came back the first time. That night, when she had prayed for God not to take Max from her. Only this time she couldn't pray, she stared at nothing because she couldn't find anything worth her sight. Eric looked down on her for a momently, his feelings a mixture of compassion and guilt. Compassion for Liz, guilt for Tess's sake. But right now, the one who needed him the most was Liz and compassion won. Eric knelt in front of her until he was on an eye level.
"We have to go back" Eric said.
"No" Liz spoke with conviction, she blinked for a few minutes before she finally realized that Eric was on his knees as well and turned away, "I have seen enough and have heard enough"
"She isn't done, yet" Explained Eric.
"I don't care" And Liz seemed to mean it, then she made eye contact as if something had become clear, "Is that why you defended her all this time, because she showed you what happened?"
"No" Eric said then made himself comfortable by sitting down right then and there, "she told me she didn't kill Alex, thats all"
Liz looked at him strangely, "And let me guess, you believed her"
Eric shrugged, "She is my best friend, I've always believed in her"
"I don't think I can" Liz said quickly, "I am sorry, I can't she has taken way too much from me"
"I think I know how you feel" Eric said, it was the same thing that he felt for Max. Jealousy.
"No, this isn't just jealousy" Liz said, as if she had heard his thought and feel silent for a minute, opening her mouth but closing it once again, trying to find the words to explain what she felt. "Its just this rage inside of me...I despise her and I wish constantly that she was born or made or whatever"
"you feel that way because you thought she killed Alex" Eric explained, trying in his own way to make her feel better.
"No" Liz admitted finally, trying to avoid the tears that threatened her, "I felt that way before...she just...she showed up sprutting nonsense about destiny...and past lives and her future with Max. And I wanted to accept her but I couldn't because of what that would have mean"
"Its hard to see your future exposed when its something you don't want" Eric understood that very much, it wasn't very joyous when he had finally realized that his future with Tess would never be. There went the dreams and the fantasies and the white picket fence.
"It was easy" Liz finally admitted, "to believe that she killed Alex"
"It gave you hope" Eric stated.
"You were right" Liz admitted again, he had stated that having Tess kill Alex made her hatred seem meaningful instead of it being pety jealousy. Hate for what she had done or in this case didn't do.
"You believe her?" Eric asked.
Liz shrugged, "Do I have a choice?"
It wasn't the answer he wanted to hear but really it was as close as he was ever going to get under the circumstances, "We have to go back"
"I don't think I can take anymore revelations tonight"
Eric stood up and looked down at her, "Oh, sure you can" He offered her his hand, "its like a bandade, you put it on and rip it off all at once"
Liz looked up at him and smiled before accepting his help up, "Oh sure, now I want to go back"
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"Isabel" Max called walking as fast as he could to keep up with his sisters strides.
"No" Isabel snapped, her hands crossed over her chest as she tried to run away from everything that was happening in her life. She didn't know what was going on anymore, everything was so screwed up. Up was down, inside was out, it was just so crazy.
"Izzy" Max called out using the name he had come up with when he was only old enough to speak, Max grabbed her shoulders and forced her to stop and face him, "come on, talk to me"
"What am I suppose to say Max?" Isabel asked shaking away from his grasp, "Congratulation, Tess is innocent, she didn't murder our friend, Thank God for that"
"Sshh" Max ordered looking around, "keep it down"
"Why?" Isabel asked even through she understood the dangers all to well, "you said you wanted to talk"
"But you don't" Max pointed out turning back to his sister, "you would rather scream and yell at me"
Isabel shook her head in fastraution, "You don't understand"
"Then make me understand" He demanded.
He only wanted to help, but looking at his older sister standing in front of him trying to utter a comprehensible sentence that would make sense, he knew that he was going to have to do something drastic. He wanted to say that he understood, that Alex's death had totally ruin him as it had apparantly ruined his sister or that Isabel's pain was realitive but it wasn't. He wasn't ruined, his wishes were already on the way to becoming fulfilled. He had his son back home, his family were with him.
"I am angry, Max" Isabel said passionately, her arms flying all over the place.
"Yeah, kinda of got that" Max said calmly, it was sort of obvious.
"No" Isabel shook her head, he didn't understand, "I am angry all the time, every second, of every minute, of every day. So Angry that I want to scream."
"Isabel" Max shrugged, "Thats only natural"
"Is it natural to want to die?" Isabel asked calmly.
Max stared at Isabel, looking beyong her to a not forgotten past when Tess had asked him that very question. He had felt helpless then but he could fix this now, "Isabel, you don't mean that"
"I do" Isabel said then turned away, "I feel like my life is meaningless and I don't know what...how I am suppose to be strong...how I am suppose to move on when I know that Alex should not have died, it should have been me. We should have stayed dead, we should have and maybe if we had, Alex would be in his last year of high school, making plans for graduation like other seniors. We should have stayed dead"
Max watched as tears began to tickle down his sister cheeks as she spoke then he embraced her, holding her tightly as she cried even harder. This was the first time, that he had seen her truly cry. It wasn't good for her to keep her feelings bolted up but she was letting herself go. Letting all the anger, all the hatred she felt for herself and those that had made her go. Thats what tears were good for, to release the feelings of grief that overwhelmed us all.
"its okay" Max carressed her hair softly, he knew she needed to cry but being near her, holding her shaking body in his arms was heartbreaking. He wanted to take her pain away, so he used his most of his energy, giving her warmth and softing her will. To Isabel, the moment consisted of seemingless anger disolve, her hatred sipping through her poses and leaving her body. Deep within her self, she could feel something asking her to give in to a peaceful existance. She didn't know what was happening, neither understanding or knowledgeable, in fact it would take until almost after she had gotten her memories back. Maybe she would understand then. But at that moment, in her brothers arms Isabel suddenly felt better.
"I am sorry" Isabel whispered, it was an apology for all the hurt that Max had suffered because of her. The emotional turmoil she had put him through.
"I can get another shirt" Max said lightly, his shirt was really wet through.
Isabel giggled when she realized it then pulled away touching the cloth, "I'm sorry"
Max and Isabel stared at each other for a moment, trying to read each other's expression. One was of deep sarrow and the other was of understanding.
"We going back, you know that, right?" Max stated his question, knowing he had no need to emphasize.
Isabel was silent for a moment then nodded, "I know"
Max hugged Isabel tightly once again, "It will be alright, you know?"
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"So, everyone on the same page?" Tess asked with a nervious smile throwing glances at Liz.
Michael could understand why, even through he knew without a shadow of doubt that Tess was not responsible for Alex's death. He knew that there was reason that she had chosen to tell them in that night. She hadn't done it out of the goodness of her heart. Michael glanced at Liz and Eric standing near the window, he didn't know what Eric had said or did but Liz seemed more calm. Turning to Max and Isabel on the other side of the room, something had happened between the two of them. It was so obvious, he could feel it.
"Yeah" Eric answered for everyone,
Tess smiled then nodded, and the scene changed around them. First the room was engulfed in darkness, then the light of a star shown through, then two, then three before long more than hundreds. Then the stars began to moved, travelling faster than the speed of light until stopping next to three suns, and the companions stood on top of Antar and began to drop. Gravity pulled at them.
The sight was frightening, it was the horror of war all around them. Bodies, laying on the ground, bloodied up beyond sight. It was like a movie, knives sticking out their neck, hearts, and bodies.
"Oh my God" A voice interurpted the silence.
It was Tess, wearing a white dress, her bulge apparant. This was her memory after all. Two man stood behind her. Michael stepped forward recognized them instantly.
Zar'ta and Parin'ta.
There were the most trusted among Zan's guards, the guards that had been given the responsibility to protect the mother of the King and now it seemed their had been given the responsibility to watch after Tess.
"My queen" Zar'ta questioned when Tess double over in pain, gritting her teeth. At the same time Parin'ta was busy calling attention to their plyte. And the scene changed, bringing all of them back to the present.
And Tess began to speak or rather begged them to understand what had to be done but Michael was standing there, frozen before it happened.
It happened in a mili-second.
Michael changed to Rath in a moment, in the blink of an eye. Maybe the images of people tortured and killed on his home planet triggered something in his mind. For a moment, he felt himself as just a spectactor. Watching his friends in mid air, watching himself and the others as a spirit. Maybe his soul had somhow been transferred and pulled from his body. He didn't really get enough time to think because a moment later, his astral spirit crushed fast into his body. He was dizzy and everything was blurry. It was two forces, two parallel universes where noone seemed to notice anything hapenning with him whatsoever. They weren't perspective, were they?
A moment later everything became clear. Michael was gone, well not really gone but he was not alone anylonger. He was a part of the man that stood next to Maria. The man that still bore Michael's face, had Michael's memories but also knew other things, other memories from another life. His planet, his people were being destroyed without mercy. He was a protector of Antar, a savior that had a duty ot apraise.
"Do you see now, why we have to go back?" Tess asked in a strangled voice, trying with all her might not to show a sign of weakness. It was Ava, all over again, the queen who would never let anyone get the better of her. She had changed much, but then again, Michael could not be the one to judge.
"Its not that easy" Maria sad softly, she was beautiful. So easy to see why Michael had fallen in love with her, so easy to understand why he was still in love with her.
"Of course it is" Michael spoke softly but all seemed to have heard him. He had everyone's attention. Max Evans, the king of Antar. Oh, how he had fallen. And Valendra, Judas in the flesh...her emotions had paved a discructive course. Michael didn't know how to react but Rath wanted to lay it into her, he had never gotten a chance before but she seemed to fragil, so lost and confussed that it would have been cruel. Even though the war was far away from earth, the sufferings of many lives of peoples and races were too much to excuse.
"I understand now" Michael faced his friends, "The true importance of our roles, its not just about destiny but we have people that are dying in a war that we have to end, people that are waiting for us. We are their saviors but we have been selffish so far, chosing our own needs over our people and because of that thousands upon thousands have died"
"Thats not true" Maria spoke up, she didn't like the way Michael was blaming himself, "Its not your fault"
"Yes it is" Michael said then turning to Maria, "I feel guilty already, especially after seeing that"
Maria stared at Michael for a moment, glancing at Liz who was silent before she started to shake her head, "No, no no no, this is not fair"
Liz stepped towards her friend, "Maria, come on..."
"No" Maria snapped then turned to Tess, "This is all your fault"
"Its not her fault, if she telling the truth" Eric pointed out, "She is trying to do the right thing"
Max and Isabel exchaged glances before Max went to Tess's side, "There is no reason to fight over this" Max turned to the others, "We are going back, no ifs, ands, or buts about that"
Silence fell through the room when Max spoke, it was so final as if nothing was going to change his mind. Maria was still staring at Michael, her eyes filled with disbelief.
"I guess thats our cue" Liz spoke, leading Maria away by her shoulders, Eric opened the door for them.
Max turned to Tess when the door closed, "That could have been worse"
Tess smiled and shook her head leaning against Max's shoulders, trying to comfort herself as much as possible.
"I'm going to take a guess here" Isabel said for the first times since coming back, she didn't seem angry or fastruated rather just curiosity, "You have a plan right, because how are we going to go back home?"
"With a ship, of course" Tess said with a smile, "But first, we have to go to California"
"Whats in California?" Michael asked.
"someone who has no choice but to help us" Tess said cryptically then pulled away from Max, "Nasado confessed to me information before we arrived in Roswell, one about the other us. I was pretending not to know about them that time...and about the other. There were two shapeshifters that were sent with us on our ship before it crashed. Nasado died but the other one is still out there, still alive.
"Why didn't you tell us this before?" asked Michael, she had too many secrets and she wasn't sharing and that pissed him off.
"I saw no reason to" said Tess calmly.
Max and Michael galnced at each other, both thinking the same thing.
"How many things are you going to keep from us?" Isabel asked the thought outloud.
Tess glanced at Max, then looked away not answering. "Anyway, Nasado managed to find out who the other protector was before he died, when he was acting as Pierce, he called me up with some new information. He told me how we could find him if we ever needed him, the other shapeshifter in California"
"California is a big place" Michael pointed out.
Tess turned to Michael, "You shouldn't worry about that, just be ready to leave a week from today, give you all a time to say goodbye"
"You have really thought about this, right?" Max asked, he wanted to know right then and there if he should start worrying but he also wanted to trust Tess as well.
"Yeah" Tess said without hesitation.
"Okay then" Max turned to Michael, "We are goner go, I'll talk to you tomorrow"
Michael nodded in agreement and watched in silence as Tess, Isabel, and Max left the room. Michael sighed in relief, really weren't very perceptive. He would be laughing right now if he didn't feel that it was a problem. The door opened and Tess walked in.
"Did you leave something?" Michael asked but Tess ignored his question, staring at him for a moment, studying him.
"Rath" Tess whispered surprising him, "Its you, I can tell"
Before Michael could say anything else, she had left once again. He had been wrong, someone had been paying attention so far, he wondered about Max and Isabel, wondered if they knew that he had changed or really still thought he was still...just Michael.
Tess convienced Max that she need to walk around, she was wearing a disguise so obviously she would be safe and she wanted to do something before she went home. Zan would be alright with the Evans. So Tess walked, thinking about Liz. Tess was not sure what she was going to do or rather what she was going to say to Liz, after showing the girl what happened to Alex, she had to be in confusion city. Emotion and Logic, those two didn't often go together and in most situation, emotion was the controlling effect. Liz had spent the last few months hating her because she had killed Alex, and now finding out the opposite... The girl must not know what to do. Tess stopped when she got to her destination. And there Tess was, climbing the stairs that Max had climped probably a thousand times before to seek a private conversation with Liz. It was easier to go through the front door, that much was certain. Sighing, Tess climbed over the rail into the balcony. She was going to kill Eric for this, why oh why did she always listen to the guy. Maybe he had a point, maybe she and Liz needed to really talk everything out. She walked to the window and knocked twice. Her heart raising slightly, not because she was scared mind you but because this was a big step into understanding the woman who had Max's heart for so long. Tess watched as the curtains opened and Liz look at her wearing a shocked expression. She obviously hadn't expected Tess to be there, Liz took a long time to open the window that tess had actually thought that she wouldn't at all. Breathing in a sigh of relieve, Tess got into Liz's room. She looked around a bit, not that this was her first visit there, she still remembered when Nikolas and the other skins had decided to "visit" Roswell. Tess froze seeing a picture of Liz and Max taped on the mirror, the two looked very much in love. Tess finally turned to Liz, finding Liz's eyes on her. Tess studied the woman she once thought of as her rival, and felt something, a feeling she couldn't understand herself, but seeing Liz's lost look was like looking into a mirror. Remembering times when she had been absolutely lost. These first few weeks when she began to regain her memories.
"I am sorry Liz" Tess said finally, breaking the silence.
A surprised look flew into Liz's eyes, "Why, why should you be sorry for anything?" Liz asked walking toward the door and leaned against the wall then looked at Tess, "I should be sorry, I accused you of something you didn't even do"
Tess gave a small smile, noticing that Liz had claimed that she should be sorry but wasn't apologizing, "I made you believe everything, didn't even try and denie that I killed Alex, I made you hate me and then I turn around and try to pacify your feelings"
"Why are you here?" asked Liz, she was afterall curiousy, "you didn't come here to apologize, did you?"
Tess shook her head, "I came here to speak to you"
"Well, obviously you didn't come here to make out" Liz said rearranging her clothes, doing something to be busy, "However, FYI when people come through the side stairs its because of that reason"
Tess smiled a little, "I knew this was going to be stupid but Eric, he thought I should talk to you so that we could grow to understand the other point of view."
"I bet those are his words...huh?" Liz asked and shook her head, "He is amarzing"
"He likes you" Tess confessed then shrugged, "I'm kinda of jealous really"
Liz turned to look at Tess, "please, can we just get this over with"
"We should talk" Tess repeated, "Like really really talk
"Tess" said Liz then shook her head, "please"
Tess clasped her hands together and took a deep breath, "this is going to be harsh, so you should take a seat"
Liz raised her eyebrows, "Excuse you"
"Max loved you and he still loves you" Tess admitted, causing Liz to look uncomfortable, "Look, I am only saying this because you blame me for your break-up with Max and you would be right but you also believe in destiny, right?"
"We make our own destiny" Liz said, even to her it sounded like a lie.
"Come on Liz" Tess gave a small laugh, "You believe in soulmates, I know you do because you believed...still believe that Max is your soulmate, right? Thats where you are wrong, he was made...for the lack of a better word...for me. Zan loved Ava, and Max...your Max loved me, desired me, remembered me. He fought to love you, fought his feelings for me and his destiny which lays with me and I know it hurts you to hear this..."
"Of course it hurts to hear that from you of all people" Liz snapped interupting Tess's speech, "I know he doesn't belong to me anymore, I can feel and sense it and I know it, you are his destiny, I get that. You are his soulmate, I get that too. Life is not fair and this situation is part of life. So why are you still talking about this?"
"Because I see the way you look at him" Tess answered then shrugged, "I want us to get something clear right here and now, to understand each other. You are probably wondering why I feel so strongly that I am his destiny and soulmate."
Here we go again, Liz rolled her eyes, "Because you shared a past life together, I got that"
"It sounding like a broken record, isn't it?" Tess asked and gave another small laugh, "But I was going to say that we have shared more than a past life, we have shared more than just two lifetimes but many. We are sort of a legend, a story, a tale of a neverending curse because we never seem to be with each other and die a natural death. In every lifetime, we have been separated by death, we were always so young, always after we had just found each other, with our whole lifes ahead of us. I know you resent me for tearing you from the man that you love"
Liz was silent for a moment, looking at Tess who was bearing her soul to her worst enemies, and Liz was not going to pretend otherwise. Tess had been her nemesis ever since she arrived at Roswell.
"I thought Max and I would be together forever" Liz stated truthfully sat on the computer chair, "that sounds so naive because afterall we are teenagers and he is an alien so statistically the odds were against us. I guess I should have known better."
"I think its important that you had faith" Tess said and went to sit down on the bed, happy that Liz was willing to give this whole understanding thing a try. Maybe Eric was right afterall.
"No, I mean before he saved my life" Liz stopped for a moment, this was such a shameful truth to reveal to the woman she didn't fully trust. It would be like giving Tess a grenade to use against Liz someday but today was the moment to be a little trusting. Maybe it was time to end this strife between them, "I didn't even pay attention to him...didn't even know who he existed...for the lack of a better word. This love story you and Max have sounds like something from a romance novel. So I am rather envious of that. I held on to the hope that Max and I were meant to be because of the connection he made when he saved me, I saw myself in ways I never thought possible. But that connection was never meant for me was it, it was suppose to be for you?"
"yes" Tess agreed, she had been thinking about that connection ever since she had about it and she always believed that Liz was a replacement for the real thing. That because Tess was never there to really connect with Max, Liz got it instead. Max had needed someone to believe in him the way Zan had needed Ava and Liz, Tess had to admit gave Max that feeling. Until Tess came along and started to make Max doubt, he wouldn't have doubted if he hadn't felt something for Tess. If he hadn't felt that something was missing with Liz that he could only get with Tess.
"Wow" Liz smiled at Tess, "I feel better now that we have talked"
"Me too" Tess agreed with a sigh, "Who knew that Eric would be right for once"
Liz gave a shrug, "Who knew"