I've always found the morning after to be the hardest, like there was something you could have done the night before but now it's too late.

I do not own the TMNT.

Chapter five; Provoking Junk

'Cotton mouth. Why do I have cotton mouth?'

Kit stared bleakly at the ceiling. Her gut told her it was a bad day and that she shouldn't get up, her brain couldn't remember why. Her mouth was dry and her stomach felt like it was full of something thick and hot. When she sat up her head informed her she was in for a headache. For a minute she stared at her gi, wondering why she had gone to sleep fully dressed.

A faint crackle caught her ears and she reached into her jacket. Her fingers hit something paper and she pulled it out. As soon as she recognized the article everything came flooding back to her.

She wanted to vomit; she wanted to scream, to break something. All the pain, the anger and the guilt dumped back onto her as harsh and unyielding as it had been the night before. Worse, now there was a heaviness that pulled at her as if gravity itself had increased just to make her miserable.

This hurt! Her throat, head, eyes, stomach, everything hurt! Unconsciously she grabbed at her jacket over her chest. It felt like she had a steel blade in her chest. She could feel it shift with every breath, but it wasn't there. For several minutes she sat there, fighting the pain. It was a loosing battle until her vision blurred.

No.

She wouldn't cry. Tears didn't help; they only made the feeling of helplessness worse. She would not cry.

Instead she took a deep breath; it shook like an autumn leaf. Another breath, then another until it was steady and strong.

When Kit emerged from her room just before morning training. Mikey stepped behind Leo, putting a physical barrier between himself and the mutant cat. Donnie stood with a mug of coffee, having already drunk one mug he was the first one with the courage to greet her. "Morning Kit!"

Kit nodded, "Yeah, morning." She looked calm enough, but her stature was stiff and there was something about her eyes. They looked hard, like onyx. Raph stood by the punching bag watching her. His own eyes narrowed and he nodded a little, as though coming to a decision.

Master Splinter came out of his room and greeted his students. They lined up and bowed, greeting their sensei. Somehow Don had gotten rid of his coffee mug. "And how are you this morning, my students?"

"Well Sensei." Came the chorused response. Master Splinter accepted this response from his sons, but he caught Kit's eyes and she quickly glanced away.

"Kitrian, if you wish, you may be excused from training this morning." His tone held a kindly tenderness developed from years of parenting.

Kit stiffened a little more, "Thank you, Sensei, but I will train this morning." her response stiff and as formal as her posture.

Master Splinter nodded and ordered for his students to begin their laps around the dojo. They peeled off from their lineup and started jogging around the room. Normally Kit ran near Leo and Donnie while Mikey taunted Raph into racing, but today was no normal day.

"Geeze Kit, you run faster than that when you walk." Raph called, he had actually darted ahead of Mikey and was now lapping all four of them. Kit ignored him. "Maybe it's that tail of yours, I imagine when you're favoring an injury that close to your butt everything slows down."

"Raph, what are you doing?" Raphael ignored Leo.

"I expect Fearless and Geek Boy to be slow, but what's your excuse?"

"Very funny Raph, leave her alone." Don glared at his brother. Kit just stared straight ahead, but her eyes narrowed. It was like that the entire run, Raph taunting Kit, his brothers trying to make him lay off, Kit staying unnaturally quiet.

When Master Splinter called the run to a finish Raphael commented that Kit looked tired. As they were lead through a difficult kata Raph placed himself near Kit and made comments under his breath so that his brothers wouldn't hear. After the Kata they were paired off for sparring, Raphael continued to comment under his breath just so that Kit could hear him. The only sign Kit gave of being bothered by his comments was when she left Michelangelo on the floor groaning in pain; normally she could hardly get a hand on the older ninja. Mikey feeling sorry for her and for his behavior the previous day helped.

Finally Master Splinter called a finish to their morning exercises. Kit immediately shut herself into her room. Raphael was about to go do his own thing when a sharp voice barked "Raphael!"

That was expected; rat ears are more sensitive than even cat ears.

Raphael followed his father into Splinter's room. Once inside Splinter turned abruptly to his son, the look of anger and disappointment stung Raph, but he stood firm.

"Raphael, you have spent the entire morning harassing and mocking Kitrian." Master Splinter's voice was so close to a growl right now he didn't sound like himself. "You are well aware that her situation is extremely difficult right now, explain yourself." Raph almost expected that walking stick to start caving his skull in any minute.

Raph took a breath. Thinking about his words didn't come naturally to him, but he felt it was important to get these words right. "Master Splinter, I know mad. I mean, I understand anger. Kit, she's taking all of her emotional junk and turning it into anger. Not anger like when she chases Mikey around the lair, but anger like, well…" He rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged.

"Rage, my son?" Splinter looked contemplative; perhaps Raphael was on to something?

"Yeah, something like that." Raph shrugged again, "It's like when Mikey kept shakin' one of Donnie's test tubes and it kept fizzin' and the rubber cork thing eventually came out. It made a mess and all, but after it was done fizzin' there wasn't as much junk in the tube."

Again Raph shrugged, "I just thought that if Kit's going to do somethin' like that…Nah, never mind. That was stupid, just go ahead and wack me real hard now."

Raphael waited for the blow, it didn't come. Instead Master Splinter was looking down his impressive nose and running his hand over the fur on his chin. "I see." He said.

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