broken inside
Melchior's thoughts seems to wander from ever day life more and more, pulling him back into his head, into the endless questions only he can answer. Unsatisfied, he pours his wondering on paper, shoved carelessly into the leather journal he knows must be replaced soon.
Desire, it seems, is a paradox. To give in to the waves of wanting is to give into the prescribed order of nature. To cave in to your desire is to follow a carefully outlined plan, written only by the laws of science. And yet, this total obedience of natural longing is also a rebellion against human-made laws f social behaviour. Ironic how these laws seem to totally contradict each other. Resisting so-called "sin" is giving in to senseless confines of a terribly flawed society, but to rebel against actual laws of the universe. Perhaps it is in this way, trapped between the unbreakable laws of both society and nature, we can make sensible choices, quite on or own.
Melchior shuts the books abruptly, puts his thoughts away with his pens, and lets his mind wander toward beautiful Wendla.