"Why can't I get off of rehearsals for just one day?" James pouted. "Quidditch match today. QUIDDITCH! And I'm the captain of the Gryffindor team!"

"Because you don't have your lines completely down yet, Prongs, and it's been about 7 weeks worth of rehearsals, mind." Remus said. "We'll just have to find an alternative. Artemis told me that her friend Claudia was rather good at playing Chaser even though she never tried out."

"But I'm the captain! The captain has to go to the match!" James shouted like a little boy. "I don't want to go to rehearsals!"

"You also happened to be the male lead. Anyways, the performance is in December, y'know, and it's almost the end of October." Remus said. "It's only one match you'll be missing anyways."

"If it makes you feel better, mate, I'll ditch Quidditch and go down to rehearsal with you." Sirius said.

"Are you sure, Padfoot? Sacrificing Quidditch when you have your lines absolutely perfect?"

"Friends are more important." Sirius said. "And besides. It makes a better impression on Lily if you go to rehearsal. She could care less about Quidditch."

James nodded. Lily was always the key. "Who are you asking to sub in for you as Beater, though?" He asked. "Out of all those who tried out, only you and Kingsley are any good."

"And what about the people who didn't try out?" Sirius said. "Artemis herself would be good. If she can send Avery to the Hospital Wing with just one punch, she is strong enough to be Beater."

"Avery deserved what he got. Plus it was hilarious." James said. "And the best part was that Art didn't even get in trouble. Not after the teachers heard her reasons anyways."

"I'll go ask Artemis and Claudia to fill for us, then. See you all at rehearsal." Sirius said as he exited the room down the boys' dormitory stairs and into the Gryffindor Common Room. To his good luck, Artemis, Claudia, a girl with brown, curly hair who was shorter than Artemis but taller than Lily, and Lily were sitting down there having their breakfast.

"Excuse me." Sirius said politely. One of the reasons he was popular with girls was that he actually treats them nicely, aside from the Slytherins, and by his fan club's standards, his fan club as well. Who can blame him? His fan club was ready to jump his any day, and he can only run.

"Hello, Sirius," said Artemis and Claudia, who were friendlier with Sirius than Lily, who just said, "What is it, Black?"

Sirius knew that Lily disliked both him and James, so he didn't take it personally. "I have a favor to ask of Artemis and Claudia." He said. "Would you girls be interested in filling for me and James at Quidditch today? We have to be at rehearsal, so we can't play for our house."

"We'd be glad to." Claudia said as Artemis nodded. "What positions?" She asked.

"Chaser for James and Beater for me, respectively." Sirius replied. Artemis and Claudia nodded.

"I've got my lines down anyways so I don't see why not." Claudia commented.

"Wait, Black, you said that Potter is ditching Quidditch for rehearsal?" Lily asked skeptically.

"Yes. He is willing to give up one match as the performance date is less than two months away." Sirius said. "It wasn't an easy choice for him, but he made it. And James doesn't change his mind."

"I have first-hand experience with that," said Lily, "He's been trying to ask me out since Merlin-Knows-When."

"You know… you really should give James a chance. He'd do anything for you. That probably includes getting his hands on some girl's hair-straightener and make his hair look neat." Sirius said. Lily ignored his comment, although Artemis and Claudia laughed. "Now… you two know where the locker rooms are, right?"

"Yep. Just tell me where the Beater's clubs are put. You know I've never been in there." Artemis said.

"In my locker. James's lockers is number 104 and mine 107. I'll give you our locker combos. Hold on…" Sirius said while pulling out a parchment and Artemis lent him her mechanical pencil. "Here you go." He said, giving the combos to the girls.

"Don't worry. We'll beat Slytherin easily." Claudia said. "Regulus has a major part too, and he's nowhere near perfect, so they are missing their best Seeker."

"And their only decent Seeker, mind. Regulus got horribly injured during the practice before our match last year and their sub-in was horrible. We won by about 500 points." Sirius said. "Well, good luck to you two, please tell the team that James and Sirius sends them their deepest apologies and wishes them good luck against those Slytherins."

"We'll deliver the message." Claudia said as James, Remus, and Peter came down the stairs.

"Alright. See you then. And best of luck to you." Sirius said. "A plague o' the Slytherin Team!"

Even Lily smiled at this comment. Sirius was getting quite in character as Mercutio.

"Come with us, Evans?" James said. "We are all going down there anyways."

"Okay." Lily said. Sirius, Remus, and Peter were surprised at she actually agreeing to come with them, but in a good way as maybe Lily will begin to like James.

"She could have run and waddled all about;
For even the day before, she broke her brow:
And then my husband--God be with his soul!
A' was a merry man--took up the child:
'Yea,' quoth he, 'dost thou fall upon thy face?
Thou wilt fall backward when thou hast more wit;
Wilt thou not, Jule?' and, by my holidame,
The pretty wretch left crying and said 'Ay.'
To see, now, how a jest shall come about!
I warrant, an I should live a thousand years,
I never should forget it: 'Wilt thou not, Jule?' quoth he;
And, pretty fool, it stinted and said 'Ay,'" read Peter in a monotone, having no idea what he just read.

"You need to put more emotion in it, Pettigrew," said Professor McGonagall.

"But… what does it mean?" Peter said, confused.

"It's…well… hard to explain," said Professor McGonagall. "Well… it means…"

"We can explain to him, professor." James said.

"It means my innuendo senses are tingling." Sirius said. " 'Thou wilt fall backward when thou hast more wit.' Interpret it how you will."

"Immature much, Padfoot?" Remus laughed. " 'Innuendo Senses.' You are a bigger pervert than I thought."

"It's all Mercutio's fault. He's ten times the pervert I am." Sirius said.

"Oh really?" commented James. " Last time you asked me to get you some Muggle porn magazines."

"Must you announce that to the whole world?" Sirius said, before Professor McGonagall cut them off.

"Boys! Getting off topic here!"

"Okay. Let's try again." Remus said apologetically. "Peter?"

"That was epic! Peter, do that for all your lines with innuendo in them! We're so proud of you! You finally got it!" Sirius said, choking on air as he laughed at the (after about 100 tries), the perfect delivery of Peter's innuendo lines. James was laughing, and surprisingly, so was Remus, the responsible and not as perverted one. Peter looked rather pleased with himself.

"Bathroom." Sirius said to his friends. "Be right back."

"Okay." James and Remus said as Sirius exited the room.

As he exited the boy's bathroom Sirius encountered a familiar, but unpleasant sight.

"Crap. I should've gone upstairs." He said to himself. Sirius happened to have walked into the Arithmancy department----where his Fan Club meetings were taking place. Apparently, the fan club meeting just ended and the fan girls are coming out of the classroom. That's when Sirius was noticed.

"HOLY HELL NO!" Sirius ran through the corridors as the whole 20-or-so fangirls simultaneous started running his way. They are fast. He thought in panic as the corridor reached a dead end.

"Sirius! WE LOVE YOU!" The fangirls jumped him as Sirius, in panic, transformed into doggy form and ran through the fan crowd. The fan girls, intent on getting to glomp a six foot-four, tall, muscular guy that they all fancy, did not notice a black dog running as fast as he can out of sight.

"Where the hell is he?" One of them finally noticed that they've been attacking each other (or air).

"Who knows?" Another replies. "We let him escape again!"

Sirius was out of breath by the time he got back to the rehearsal room as he pushed open the door and sat him self down in a chair without looking.

"Goddamn fangirls…" He muttered as James came running at him.

"Sirius! Sirius! You won't believe it!" He shouted, apparently very happy.

"What, you found a way to keep fangirls away from me?" Sirius said, still catching his breath. "Since they got me cornered and attacked me again."

"It's your fault that you have a fan club in the first place." James said. "You certainly like to show off to the girls."

"But it's not my fault that I'm born drop-dead gorgeous and utterly dead sexy." Sirius said. "One thing that the Black family genetics are actually good for."

"Egoistical much, Padfoot?" Remus said on the side. "Good-looking we can agree on. But sexy?"

"Don't argue with my blatant sexiness." Sirius said. "And I like my ego level the way it is."

"Changing the topic," James said. "We won the Quidditch match, 550 to 70!"

Sirius finally noticed that Artemis and Claudia were present. "Wow! That's great!"

"The Seeker was really incompetent." Artemis said. "I knocked him out with my bludger 10 minutes into the game. From 500 feet away nevertheless."

Regulus was in a corner sulking. Maybe I should've just ditched rehearsal and went to Quidditch. He thought to himself as he downed a whole bottle of Firewhiskey.

"Anyways… I'd better get ready. Judging from the lines I'm coming up soon." Sirius said as he, James, and Remus got ready for Act one, Scene four.